marisel (Chapter 15) - Thu 26 Apr 2018

That was a pretty good story but poor inu so evil and her best being so envious.  Wow. Good job.

Corvus Draconis (Chapter 15) - Tue 24 Apr 2018

Always happy with a happy ending, but I'll be honest this was a hard read for me. All the bold and underlined text was terribly confusing and distracting and the medical insertions seemed forced (they weren't needed to make the story, and I felt like I had to whip out my drug book and look up nursing considerations). I understood them, but but they weren't really essential. I found the focus on Kagome's "maidenhood" in the face of rape to be unrealistic to the trauma of the rape itself being rape and perhaps her facing that someone she once trusted did it to her or even WOULD do it to her., and that her beast didn't rise up and tear him to pieces under such a stressful situation-- especially after we see her go completely beast on Sango later. Those things aside, I think this story would be far more polished with editing and a smoother read, if you get a chance to do so.

MythMagykFae (Chapter 9) - Mon 05 Jun 2017

Great chapter! Too bad about Inu, but he did bring it upon himself...

cassandra (Chapter 9) - Sat 03 Jun 2017

So inuyasha is finally gone. It was kinda sad the way he ended up and had to be put to death though. But things like murder or attempted murder happen every day all in the name of love and jealousy. I am looking forward to the next chapter! 

Mutnodjmet (Chapter 8) - Sun 30 Apr 2017

This is an okay story well at least the plot seems to be good.

Not to be too petty but in chapter two when Kagome was attacked by Inuyasha, when Sessho took Kagome to the hospital the doctor asked for info on Kagome, Sessho said she was allergic to a few things strawberries was one of those things and that she was 24 years old. But in chapter eight you have her birthday as she was turning 24 meaning she was only 23 at the time of the attack and also her birthday breakfast the cook made for her, he had strawberries on the side with her pancakes.

I hope one day you will go back and re-edit this story. Like I said the plot is good and the characters were so out of charcter that the story was a bit confusing and not consistant. You may also need a beta to help you along.

I believe the story would be awesome if you think of the where's the who's, the what's an the why's and the how's.  When I was in grade school, my teacher said, when writing a story always think of the 4 W's and the H, if I remember correctly.

I hope you continue writing and not give up, you will get better as you go along. I will still continue to read this story because I would like to see how you end it.

cassandra (Chapter 8) - Sat 29 Apr 2017

Oh I'd love it if someone threw me a party like that!  I can't wait to see what happens next! 

MythMagykFae (Chapter 8) - Sat 29 Apr 2017

Awww, he is so sweet! Well to Kagome at least...

Lea (Chapter 5) - Wed 19 Apr 2017

So I have a few critiques for you and hope you use these as a way of improving your writing style. This is story is difficult to read in my opinion because of the overuse of bold characters. I understand you are using this style as a way to highlight dialogue, but you have already used quotation marks, so this really isn't necessary. If anything, it causes such a disturbance in regards to distraction.

Another thing that greatly confused me about your story was it seemed that there was no common sense involved while writing it. Albeit, I admit I only read a couple of chapters, but that would be due to the fact that I simply could not wrap my head around what the characters were doing and why they were doing that. It made no sense to me and came off insanely asinine. Like when Inuyasha demanded to see proof that the photos of her injuries by him were photoshopped, and then how you went about in showing the proof that her scars were real. LOL okay then. Oh and then when you wrote that whole debacle of how Inuyasha got INSANELY strong powers, strong enough that no one was able to stop him in a courtroom full of full fledged demons, and no one was able to break into a baracaded door to save Kagome from getting raped? Like you mean to tell me that Sesshomaru and all these other people were taking their sweet ass time to help Kagome when they KNOW Inuyasha is there on trial for attemped rape? Honey, that part seemed like you pulled something out of your ass so that you can spice up your story and keep it interesting. Sigh if only you thought things through a bit more.

It just seems like your whole story is trying to "push the limits" when really it just comes off quite confusing and strangely comical. You should also write a disclaimer on how totally OOC these characters are cause wow they are nothing like canon at all. Man at least give the readers a warning on how vastly different the characterization will be. I can definitely tell you are a novice writer and hope that you take a step back and reassess your writing style. Or at least post another warning that your story will be a crack-fic since this seems to fall in that category with all its tomfoolery. 

MythMagykFae (Chapter 7) - Tue 18 Apr 2017

Kagome's Mom is awesome!

Sessygurl (Chapter 4) - Mon 27 Mar 2017

Wow....I mean wow. So much action and intrigue, I cannot wait to see what happens next. Thanks for the update.

cassandra (Chapter 4) - Mon 27 Mar 2017

I wonder what sangos real agenda is in all of this and why she hates kagome so much. I wonder what she's going to do with kagomes family.  Can't wait to see what happens next! 

candy (Chapter 2) - Wed 15 Mar 2017

That was very sad Kagome can't have children. That broke my heart.

Sessygurl (Chapter 1) - Thu 09 Mar 2017

Love it!

nogooddeed (Chapter 1) - Wed 08 Mar 2017

Great start cant wait to see where this is headed!

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