I Wont Say I'm in Love by Weregirl96
Chapter 1
Kagome had left everything behind for InuYasha and the feudal era. She had left her family, her home, her friends, all for the boy she loved. It hadn't been even a full year of her sacrifice that she was left alone and heartbroken. InuYasha had left Kagome for his first love, Kikyo. Sango and Miroku had started a family and Kagome felt guilty for intruding. Kaede had passed on a few months prior leaving just Kagome and Shippou to watch over the village.
It was the anniversary of the day the well closed. Kagome sent Shippou away to play with the village children so she could have a couple of hours to mope by herself. She sat next to the bone eaters well and watched to world around her.
“Mom, I miss you, so much. I think I made the wrong choice. InuYasha left, Sango and Miroku don't need me, Kaede is dead, all I have is Shippou. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby, but soon even he wont need me. I just wish I knew what to do,” Kagome sniffled, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
“Miko?” an almost forgotten voice called from behind her.
Kagome whirled around to see silver hair and almost mistook the Lord of the West for her ex-lover.
“Oh, hi Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said, clearing her voice of the tears.
“This Sesshoumaru thought you had left for your own era years ago,” Sesshoumaru stated, walking to her. He wasn't rude, merely confused.
Kagome laughed humorlessly. “No, I stayed because InuYasha said he needed me. You can see how well that went. He's with Kikyo and I'm alone,” Kagome sighed. Her tears for InuYasha had dried up long ago.
Sesshoumaru perched on the well next to her. “The half-breed can't seem to hold onto anything of importance,” he scoffed.
Kagome leaned her head back to rest on the wood. “I just don't know what to do anymore,” Kagome said, closing her eyes.
“You and the Kitsune could always join me in the Western Palace, if you so chose,” Sesshoumaru stated with a shrug.
Kagome turned to him. “Are you being serious?” she asked. This was the first she had really looked at the Lord, it appeared a lot had changed in a year. He now wore his hair in a pony tail at the base of his neck and his eyes weren't quite as hard as they used to be.
He raised one perfect eyebrow, “Why would I said anything I didn't mean?”
Kagome nodded and looked back in the direction of the villiage. “I'll have to talk to Shippou. He's the only one I have left so I wont leave him,” she stated.
“I expected no less,” Sesshoumaru chucled.
“Are you still taking care of Rin?” Kagome asked softly. She didn't want to upset him if something had happened to the little girl.
“Yes, and she wrecks my palace daily,” he laughed.
Kagome smiled before standing and stretching. She had started wearing the traditional miko garb after InuYasha had left, it helped put travelers at ease.
“Those garbs fit you well. Why did you not wear them when we traveled?” Sesshoumaru asked.
Kagome rolled her eyes, “Why did I do or not do a lot of things, InuYasha didn't like it. Would you like to have dinner here? It's starting to get late.”
Sesshoumaru stood with such grace that it was hard to believe he was actually flesh and bone. “If it would not inconvenience you, I would love to stay the evening,” he stated. Kagome smiled and lead the way back to village.
The village was slightly bigger than Sesshoumaru remembered, Kagome was no doubt the cause of that. As soon as they came in sight of the place Kagome put a mask on. She was smiling and seemed bright and cheerful, but Sesshoumaru could see right through it.
Several people stopped Kagome as they made their way to her hut. They all had something to say, this one needed help in her garden, that ones kid was sick, and they ALL required Kagome.
“Do they ever let you be?” he asked quietly.
“Not really,” Kagome sighed back.
They came to a group of children playing tag with the growing Kitsune as their leader. He had grown up to about Kagome's hip since he had last seen the kit.
“Shippou, be home by sun set,” Kagome hollered before leading Sesshoumaru into one of the smaller huts.
“When Kaede died we got her hut, since there are only two of us. We were going to build our own, but that was before InuYasha left,” Kagome explained without emotion.
They sat in silence for a while while Kagome started on a stew. “I am....sorry for your loss,” Sesshoumaru said, almost awkwardly.
“What do you mean?” Kagome asked, glancing up from the cooking pot.
“You left your birth pack, your family, your future, and then your alpha left. You gave up everything for nothing, and for that I am sorry,” he said, leaning against the hut like they were talking about the weather.
Kagome sighed and put the last of the ingredients into the stew. “It isn't for nothing. I can help around here and I get to watch my son grow up for a little while. I know he'll out live me by a landslide, but I get to point him in the right direction. I just wish I knew more about how demon children grown. I feel so useless to him in that regard,” Kagome fought back tears at the thought of her being another parent to die on the kit.
A thought bloomed in Sesshoumaru's mind, though he knew it wasn't the right time or place. “That is just more reason for you to join me in the West,” he said instead.
Kagome giggled, “You are persistent, Sesshoumaru. I'm glad to see that somethings haven't changed.”
Sesshoumau made a “Hn,” noise and turned to watch the sky.
“Your village has grown since I saw it last,” Sesshoumaru commented.
“Yeah,” Kagome sighed, “and they all depend on me. I don't know how you do it, run a large area of demons and humans alike, I can barely handle one small village.”
Sesshoumaru watched her as she slumped against a wall, head tilted back unintentionally baring her throat.
“I had been trained and prepared for it since I was born, you were thrown into this life, and you are grieving on top of it. You have done very well, Kagome, in spite of those odds,” Sesshoumaru praised her, once again that little idea wormed its way into the front of his mind.
She sighed, “You must think I am so weak. I was crying when you found me and now I'm complaining about my duties. I need to get over myself.”
Sesshoumau cocked his head to the side a little, “I do not believe you to be weak, I believe you have been forced to be strong for too long. Tears do not make you weak, giving up makes you weak.”
Kagome chuckled, “You're right, thank you Sesshoumaru.”
Sesshoumaru just nodded and closed his eyes, taking in the aroma of Kagome and the food she was making. Before too long the innocent scent of the kit joined them.
“Sorry, Momma, Jun wanted to see some of my tricks and I lost track of time. Oh, hi Sesshoumau-sama,” Shippou said with a small bow, finally noticing their guest.
Sesshoumaru nodded to the kit as Kagome fussed over him and herded him to clean up.
Once they were all seated around the small fire with food in hand Sesshoumaru got a good look at how the two interacted.
“How was your day, sweetie?” Kagome asked.
“It was great!” Shippou replied with a huge smile. “I got a bunch of the kids to play tag with me, and then I visited Jun and Kyo.”
“That sounds like fun, how is Jun?” Kagome responded with a smile.
“He's feeling a lot better. He's looking better too, though he's still really pale,” Shippou's smile faded a little.
“Jun is one of the kids who lives here, he caught a really bad cold and has been down for a while,” Kagome explained to Sesshoumaru, who nodded at the courtesy.
Sesshoumaru observed the child and his mother all during their dinner, listening to the kits excited chatter and Kagome's enthusiastic responses.
She truly is a great mother. Even with all the pain she is feeling she puts on a brave face for her kit and keeps him happy. Maybe this isn't such a bad idea Sesshoumaru thought.
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Once the meal was over and the bowls washed, Sesshoumau decided it was time for him to ask the kit.
“Shippou,” the Inu called for the boy.
Shippou looked up from his coloring across the fire in surprise. “Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?”
“I have given your mother and yourself an invitation to stay at the Western Palace with me. Would you like that? We have plenty of land to play in as well as many children living there, plus, I do believe Rin would like to have her playmate back,” Sesshoumaru told him.
The kits eyes lit up at the idea of seeing Rin again, he had a small crush on the girl when they traveled together and he missed her. “Are we going to, Momma?” Shippou asked excitedly.
Kagome smiled, impressed that Sesshoumaru had asked the kit himself. “I wanted to talk to you first, but if you're okay with it, then yes,” Kagome told him.
“YES!” Shippou cheered.
“When do we leave, Sesshoumaru?” Kagome asked.
“Would the end of the week work?” Sesshoumaru offered.
Kagome nodded, though she looked slightly nervous. “Sesshoumaru, I do have one request. Is there any way we could travel by foot? It's been so long since I've left the village and it would feel like old times.”
Sesshoumau was slightly taken aback, first off by her request to travel the hard way, and secondly her nostalgia. “That will be acceptable. I have a few more villages to pass through on our way back anyways,” Sesshoumaru said with a shrug.
“Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me,” Kagome smiled, a true smile. That smile was enough for it to be worth it.
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The end of the week came quickly for the excited kit and his mother. Kagome had hunted down her old yellow bag and had it full to the brim with supplies they would need for their journey. Kagome waved good-bye to the people she had taken responsibility for and turned her back to the rising sun with Sesshoumaru. Shippou skipped along the trail happily, the two adults following behind.
“It feels great to be on the move again,” Kagome murmured happily.
“The next village we get to should have a trained miko who can take over your position,” Sesshoumaru told her.
“That'll be nice,” Kagome smiled at him before running ahead to play with the kit while they walked.
In all honesty, Sesshoumaru could have visited all of the villages and met up with Kagome again when it was time to leave, but he couldn't take this opportunity away from her.
Sesshoumaru enjoyed watching the small miko look at the world in wonder once again. They had only walked about a mile from her village and already her face shone just a little bit more. This may take longer, but Sesshoumaru had a feeling that it would be well worth it.
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Night had fallen, a campfire had been made, and dinner had been served. Kagome was curled up by the campfire and was sound asleep, trusting Sesshoumaru to watch over her little family. Sesshoumaru had settled in for the evening, his back against a tree as he watched the fire, assuming his companions to be asleep. Thus he was quite surprised when the little kit stealthily wormed his way out of his mothers arms to sit across from the Inu.
“Is everything alright?” Sesshoumaru asked.
“Yeah, I just wanted to say thank you. I don't know what you did, but you made Momma much happier. I know she tried to hide it from me, but she's been really sad since 'Yasha left. Ever since you came her smiles have seemed more like the old her. So, thank you,” Shippou told Sesshoumau. He had a small sad smile.
“I will admit that I have my own reasons for wanting your mother to join me, though I am glad that she is acting more like the Kagome this Sesshoumaru first met,” Sesshoumaru wanted the kit to trust him, and that meant admitting things he didn't necessarily want to admit.
Shippou smiled and fiddled with a bracelet around his wrist.
“Why are you up, kit? I thought you had fallen asleep a while ago,” Sesshoumaru asked.
Shippou looked away from the lord. “I had a nightmare, I knew I wasn't going to fall back asleep,” Shippou admitted quietly.
Sesshoumaru nodded, “I remember a time when you would cry out at the smallest fright, you have grown much since I last saw you.”
Shippou blushed. “Momma hasn't been sleeping much, and I hate waking her when she does sleep, so I've learned to deal with it,” the kit told him, looking back at his mother.
“Hn,” Sesshoumaru hummed.
Just then Kagome stirred. “Shippou?” She muttered sleepily.
Shippou nodded at the lord and cuddled back up with his mother.
Sesshoumaru was even more concerned now than he was before. To find out that the miko had not been sleeping on top of everything else was worrisome. Having her in the West would be a comfort, then he would be able to keep an eye on her. He had been quite found of the miko during their journey and had felt that she was beyond his reach. Now to learn that she had never left, and not only that but that his idiot brother destroyed her heart, he felt he had a chance for a friend. Perhaps he would talk to her about his idea in the morning.
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Hi guys! I got this idea while watching Hercules and got this little ficlet from the song I Wont Say I'm in Love. I don't know how long this will be, or how often it will be updated, my main concern is “My Mate?” so this is for when I get ahead or have writers block. I hope you guys enjoy it. I may take requests for ficlets if you guys chose to leave me a review or come tell me on tumblr. Have a wonderful day guys!