Forbidden Love by BelovedStranger

Unleash the Beast

Prompt: 'Failing to plan is planning to fail.' 

He was avoiding her, he knew, as he awoke on the third night since his last ‘meeting’ with Kagome. As he walked up the stairs and unlocked the steel door that protected his resting place, he knew before letting his senses roam around his home that his ward was gone, having already left to start her shift—the graveyard shift. His fault. Because he couldn’t let her roam around freely while he slept during the day.

Sesshomaru made his way through his empty halls, purposefully avoiding the human inhabitants. He hungered, he thirsted, so he exited his home through a side door leading into his garden. He ignored the plants and flowers Michael’s wife took care of in her spare time. If it gave Victoria pleasure, then he saw no harm in letting her transform his barren land into something beautiful.

A fog covered the land and there was a chill in the air he did not feel. Without being told, he knew his flesh was cold. He needed sustenance; he needed to feed, to steal warmth from another since his own body could not produce heat without new blood. The very fangs that had pierced Kagome’s tongue lengthened as hunger tightened his gut, saliva pooling in his mouth. Her taste was forever imprinted on his mind—forbidden fruit. He needed it, craved a heartier taste, but instead settled for going out and hunting. As he transformed into mist, becoming the very particles of water around him, he hunted for prey. Kagome wasn’t prey despite the demon within clawing at him to find her, sip from her. Unlike the majority of humankind—his human family notwithstanding—he did not view Kagome as cattle.

And yet it was these very cattle Kagome wished to save by becoming a nurse’s aide. She was the only bright spot in his life, his only weakness.

He travelled many miles, unhurried, making the beast within wait for that which it craved. Then, finally, he came upon a couple locked in an intimate embrace on a side street in the city. Moving into the shadows further in the alley they moved towards, he transformed back into his mortal form. At the scent of prey, hearing the heartbeats within their chests, the hunter in him awakened, and on silent steps he trod closer.

Even as the woman blinked over her lover’s shoulder, catching sight of him, Sesshomaru instantly caught her eyes and beguiled her easily, silencing any warning cry she might have made. Her companion didn’t realize his companion’s relaxed pose, for he continued to kiss her neck and fondle her bountiful breasts.

Catching the man’s attention, Sesshomaru growled low in his chest, the sound a warning, hinting at a possible threat. When the man spun around, the fear in his eyes went out, and like the woman, he stared back at Sesshomaru with glazed eyes. The trance he put them in would not harm them; he would not harm them, merely take the sustenance needed to replenish his blood cells, to bank the hunger that was never ending. He used to go longer periods without feeding but knew he had to be careful now that Kagome dwelled with him, especially after unwittingly sampling her addictive taste.

As swift as a viper, he sank his fangs in the man’s throat, making sure the human stayed enthralled so he did not feel the prick of his bite, nor panic. When he’d taken enough from the man, Sesshomaru eased him down to a seated position, leaning him against the wall, then beckoned for the woman to approach. She did without a word and he drank from her as well. Afterwards, he left them relatively comfortable, wiping any trace of his presence from their minds, and shot into the sky. This time, he morphed into a bat.

He didn’t return home. No, instead, he made his way towards the hospital his ward worked at. Using his senses, he searched for her. He could feel her somewhere inside the building when he got there but didn’t go to her. The possibility of either mortal eyes or technological equipment detecting him was too high. So he perched in a tree near the hospital and waited.

—

“Sesshomaru,” Kagome demanded as she found him in the small stables he kept on his property. She had gotten off of work not an hour ago and changed from her scrubs and into blue jeans and an emerald green, long sleeved shirt. “Care to explain to me why you’ve been avoiding me?” she asked loudly, an angry flush on her cheeks.

Turning from brushing his stallion’s mane, Sesshomaru regarded her silently for a long moment. Gabriel whickered in greeting to his ward, and Sesshomaru stroked his flank soothingly, the black coat soft to the touch.

“Have I been?” he asked, tone low and neutral.

She placed her hands on her hips, and seeing her unaccustomed anger made her more appealing to him, and he shouldn’t be viewing her in that light—at all. He went back to brushing Gabriel’s mane, trying valiantly to control his ardor. Kagome obviously wasn’t having any of that, for she stomped up to him and grabbed the crook of his left arm, where his hand rested on the horse’s neck.

“Why won’t you look at me?” she wailed, and the scent of her tears made him stiffen.

Gritting his teeth, he refused to turn to her. “Perhaps you should return to the house. It’s chilly tonight.”

She wrenched on his arm, trying to gain his attention. “Sesshomaru, why are you acting like this? Have I… Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not,” he was quick to deny firmly. And he meant it. He was the one who’d done something ‘wrong’, not her. 

“Then why are you ignoring me?” When he refused to answer, her next words came out as a tortured whisper. “When we were in your office that night… I thought you were testing me, or something, to see if I really wanted…that. And I do. With you, that is.”

Sesshomaru stiffened at the first mention of that night, and he had feared she would ask what had happened when they’d kissed. What she said instead floored him. Lust thickened his groin in seconds, while need crashed through his body like a raging storm. Before he could control himself enough to speak, Kagome released him and stepped back.

“Never mind.” She gave a shaky laugh and started walking backwards slowly. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I have to go.”

When she turned to flee, Sesshomaru reacted, snagging her arm. Wide eyes stared at him from over her shoulder, and then he jerked her roughly towards him. With a sharp gasp, Kagome tumbled into his arms. Fisting her hair in his hand, he forced her head back and swooped down, kissing her hard and fierce. He allowed all of his pent up arousal and emotions show in that kiss.

“Sessho—Can’t… I can’t…breathe…” Kagome panted against his mouth after a while.

Instead of releasing her as he should, he held her tighter against his chest, forced her mouth wider open by forcing her head back just a little further and continued kissing her. She didn’t fight him, didn’t try to shove him away. In fact, her small hands were gripping onto his shirt front, tugging him closer.

After another long minute, he gentled, sipping from her mouth, before finally drawing back a scant few inches, letting her take in a huge rush of air. She blinked glazed eyes up at him, her mouth forming a surprised oh. There was no way she could miss the evidence of his arousal as her hip was pressed up tightly against his thick groin, and he didn’t even try to hide it.

“I want you,” he whispered.

Closing his eyes after that all too real admission, he pulled her against him, her cheek against his chest, one arm around her back, while his right hand cupped the back of her head. Leaning down, he curled his body over her protectively. Kagome was too short and he too tall for him to bury his face in her hair while they both stood, but he scented her, filled his lungs with it, his ears hearing the fast clip of her heart.

“I shouldn’t, but I do,” he said, still in that low tone, his voice filled with torment, and not because his body lusted after hers, but rather his dead heart ached for her—her love and affection. But he could not have it. He could not do this.

“Is it because I’m younger than you?” Kagome asked, resting against him. “I…don’t mind that you’re older…”

Centuries older, he thought, almost laughed, but not from amusement. Instead, he said, “Fourteen years is still a major gap,” in this day and age, he thought, but did not say, “and you are barely eighteen.”

She leaned back, and he let her. Their eyes met. “I’m legally an adult,” she said stubbornly.

Trying to soothe her flare of anger, he rubbed her back. “You are still my ward, and I would be taking advantage of you.”

“What part of ‘I’m an adult’ do you not get, Sesshomaru? I can make my own decisions. I’m not some headstrong child! I know what I want and… I want you, too.”

It literally killed him to hear her say such words to him.

“You can’t know that for certain,” he insisted, trying to dissuade her, to save her from her naivety—from him. “You’ve been sheltered most of your life. You haven’t gone out to experience the world or met more people.” He hated saying these things, but he had to.

Instead of fighting him like he thought she would, she asked, “Then why did you kiss me just now? And those other times?”

He didn’t have an answer without damning himself. He’d already admitted to wanting her. He’d already been selfish; he wasn’t about to do it again.

As if reading his mind, she spoke. “You said you wanted me. Was that a lie? Or are you just playing with me?”

That last accusation he would not let stand between them. “No!” he said fiercely, grabbing onto her shoulders, shaking her gently. “No. Do not think that. Not for one second.”

“Then why are doing this? You push me away yet hold onto me. You are being totally confusing!”

Sighing heavily, he released her, and then they were standing just inches apart without touching, staring at the other. “It is more complex than you realize, Kagome. You don’t know me, not truly. If you did understand, you would run from me.”

“Do you mean the… ah, BDSM?” she asked, flushing. This time, his mood was far too serious to find amusement at her embarrassment. “I already told you I wanted to try it.”

“That is only part of it,” he answered. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say what he was, because he selfishly didn’t want her to run from him in fear and despise him. Kagome was completely right. He kept her at a distance, and yet, he would not release her. His selfishness knew no bounds, and it pained him to witness that hurt yet hopeful expression on her face.

“Whatever you have done, whatever you are hiding, I could never hate you,” she said passionately, reaching out to hold his left hand. He let her.

“You might.” You will.

“I’m not perfect either, Sesshomaru. No one is! The past doesn’t define us. Not even you.”

Oh, how wrong you are, he thought.

At his continual silence, she exploded. “I’m not going to give up on…whatever this is between us. Not until you tell me why we shouldn’t at least try to be together!”

“There’s nothing between us,” he said before thinking, a blatant lie he spouted in his desperation to get off this topic.

Too late, he realized his mistake. With a surprised gasp, a pained expression crossed her face. Kagome shouted, “You’re such a jerk!” Then turned and ran.

Catching up to her easily, he caught her arm. “Kagome—”

“Let me go!” She jerked on her arm, but he would not let go.

“That’s not what I meant!” He yanked her up against his chest again, ignoring how she beat against him with her fists. Cupping the back of her head, he curled over her like before. “That’s not what I meant,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

“Then what did you mean?” she demanded, tears in her eyes. “It sounds pretty clear to me.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand! Or let me go.”

Sesshomaru’s breath caught. He should drop his arms and step back. It would be nothing more than a small command from his brain to his nerves and muscles, and yet he could not do it. He did not let her go but held her tighter. With a heavy heart, that was when he knew. He’d been foolish to think he could offer Kagome a home and control his desire for her, to hide his feelings from her. Sooner or later she would find out—about everything. As resolve and weary acceptance settled in his mind, Sesshomaru let go of the fantasy he’d tried to live in.

“I’ll tell you. Everything.” He sighed heavily, then let her go. Wanting one more good memory with her before it all fell apart, he said, “First, let’s ride.”

Confusion filled her eyes as she stared up at him. “What do you mean?”

He motioned behind him towards his horse. “The night is beautiful. I believe a moonlight jaunt is called for.”

“You’re stalling,” she commented without heat in her words, just fact.

“Perhaps.”

But she nodded, and in just a few minutes, Gabriel was saddled. Leading him towards Kagome, the stallion stamped its hoof in anticipation. Sesshomaru mounted with one fluid motion, easily finding his seat, before removing his foot from the stirrup and offering a hand down to help her mount. This wasn’t the first time they’d ridden together, and Kagome stepped on the stepstool Sesshomaru had provided for her, grabbed his hand, put her foot in the stirrup, and he gently pulled her up. She settled sideways into his lap and leaned against his chest as if she belonged there. A fanciful thought, one he could not hold onto.

Regardless, Sesshomaru kept one arm around her waist while his free hand held the reigns and controlled Gabriel with his knees, encouraging him forward. At first he kept them at a walk, then at a light run. It wasn’t until Kagome whispered faster that he allowed his mount to run as fast as he could, and Gabriel did with relish. Sesshomaru tried to ignore the way that one word from her lips affected him and enjoyed the wind against his face, whipping both his and Kagome’s hair behind them.

For half an hour they rode, varying speeds, until Sesshomaru finally headed back towards the stable. Silence reigned between them as Kagome helped him wipe down Gabriel, water and feed him, before returning the mount to his stall.

Sesshomaru turned to her, inwardly steeling himself.

“Tell me, Sesshomaru,” she encouraged, practically begged.

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. No matter how he tried to force the words ‘I’m a vampire’ out…nothing.

“Sesshomaru!” she shouted, demanded.

Feeling cornered, the demon within him snarled.

“I’ll show you,” he muttered darkly, allowing his own anger to come forth.

Rushing her, he swooped her up into his arms and took them into the night skies. He ignored her surprised and fear filled shriek as he flew towards the city, towards the real prey. The way this one, tiny mortal made him feel trapped, like a cornered rabbit, had the demon inside him growl in fury. He was angry for many reasons and none of them were aimed at his precious burden. No, he was angry at fate, pissed at the one who made him in to this beast, irate at the unrequited love he felt towards Kagome. If he couldn’t tell her what he was, he’d show her. Common sense fled his mind, logic swallowed up by the hectic emotions riding him.

In minutes, he dropped from the sky and landed on the ground in a crouch, absorbing the impact. The lone male he’d found yelled in alarm before Sesshomaru swiftly bespelled the human with his demonic gaze. Setting his shaky companion down, he shook her to get her attention. Wide, uncomprehending eyes stared up at him.

“Watch,” he commanded in a hard voice. Returning his gaze to the male before them, he ordered, “Come.”

Without saying a word, his eyes flat, the man walked up to him. Tugging the man around, Sesshomaru grabbed the mortal’s chin from behind and turned his head, baring his throat.

“This is the answer you so desperately wanted,” he snarled at Kagome, and as she watched him, transfixed, he opened his mouth wide, baring his lengthened fangs. Then he struck and fed from his prey’s jugular.

Kagome cried out and stumbled backwards. She fell, landing heavily on her rump and froze. Their eyes met and held. It was only when he saw horror and fear contort her face that rational thought returned. His own widened in horrible realization at what he was doing. Retracting his fangs, he forced the man to sleep with just a command. He barely remembered to catch the human as he fell, before settling him on the ground ungracefully.

Sesshomaru took a step towards the frightened girl, hand outstretched. “Kagome! I…”

That was when she screamed.