Forbidden Love by BelovedStranger

Requiem for a Dream

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Prompt: 'Fact is stronger than fiction.' 

The title and chapter was created around the violin solo (also played on a piano, too) Requiem for a Dream. A youtube link has been added in case anyone wanted to listen to the melody. Requiem for a Dream is also a movie but has nothing to do with this chapter or story. The song is played for a lost love. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i90OgYzB21g

Sesshomaru stood alone in his music room. There were many instruments therein, a grand piano, flutes of all shapes and sizes, as well as violins and cellos, guitars and other stringed instruments. They lined the walls in their displays, a large harp in a far corner, while the black piano silhouetted the center of the room. Large windows allowed the light of the moon to filter into the otherwise dark room, a few candles here and there adding additional light, the flickering flames giving off a gentle, vanilla aroma that soothed him, reminded him of the body lotion his ward preferred to use.

It had been a week since she’d taken up residence in his home. He’d taken great pains with having her room decorated, making sure it was everything she could have ever wanted, even gifted her with a brand new wardrobe of expensive, brand name clothing and jewelry and shoes. He’d thought to shower her with the things she’d never had before, to pamper and spoil her, but Kagome hadn’t seemed overjoyed by the knowledge of possessing all these materialistic items. Though she wore the new clothes and a few shoes, she hardly ever touched the jewelry. She’d even thanked him for his generosity when he’d made it clear that everything was hers, and that he wouldn’t allow her to refuse his gifts.

He’d known that about her. Kagome didn’t seem to want many material things. Instead, she’d made fast friends of Michael and his wife, along with the children, had even gone out during the day together while he remained secluded in his dark room beneath the manor, in the basement. Though the lower level was as lavish and filled with modern day comforts as the rest of the manor, there was no way to escape the knowledge that he hid like a rat beneath the earth when the sun was in the sky.

He made sure that Kagome did not visit him there while he slept, for the sun made him all but powerless, truly dead to the world. When the sun set, his body became leaden, impossible to move, and every rising of a new day was like he died all over again. It was slightly painful as his body shut down on him. It took no more than a few seconds, but he felt a terrible wrenching deep down in his soul every time, and he knew that he was really dead.

Like his heart, his brain refused to function, his dark powers snuffed out, darkness taking him he knew not where, because on every rising when the sun set, he’d have no memory of where his soul went when it left his body. The first time he’d felt the sun’s affect and many nights after that, he’d been afraid—no, terrified.

To be so helpless, to feel his body betray his will… To this day, he still felt trepidation at the disconcerting feeling that was death, and yet after all these centuries, he continued to ‘come back to life’ without fail. For the longest time, he’d feared someone would stumble upon his resting place and end his existence once and for all or be trapped in the daylight and burn alive while he ‘slept’. Though he despised what he was, he did not wish to remain dead. He wanted to ‘live’, even if that meant continuing on in this half-life he trode. 

No, he did not want Kagome to see him like the corpse he knew himself to be. To insure she never became curious enough to ignore his verbal warning, he’d lock the steel door at the top of his stairs, and even forced his will on her subconscious. Sesshomaru felt guilty for altering her sleep patterns by manipulating her mind, forcing her to sleep through most of the day so that she was awake all through the night—with him.

And to make his brooding worse, tonight was the anniversary of Kikyo’s death, when she had died at the age of forty-three when she’d fallen down the stairs and broke her neck. Of course, he hadn’t seen it happen, hadn’t been aware of her untimely demise until a few weeks after the fact, but he’d stood by her newly dug grave, stroked her head stone many a night, and mourned alone.

And like every year, he secluded himself and played. The last few years it had been the same song every time, usually on his violin, sometimes on the piano because the melody seemed the most appropriate for the occasion. This time, he picked up his favorite violin and checked the strings, testing to make sure it was in tune though he knew it already was. He personally kept his precious instruments clean of dust, well kept, and ready to use for next time, and there was always a next time, for his love of music ran deep, more so now than even when he’d been a real man. For so long now, it had been the one beautiful thing in his life.

His hands were covered in blood, though he did not take a human life when he fed, he still stole a part of them, but when he held an instrument, his fingers were capable of creating the most beautiful sounds. He did not feel like a monster during time such as this.

Lifting his bow, he made the first, long strokes back and forth along the strings, his fingers moving accordingly at the handle to form the familiar notes of ‘Requiem for a Dream’—the song of death, in memory for his beloved twin.

A twin he’d abandoned the night he’d awoke as a vampire.

He’d given his family not a word of his departure, merely fled, fearful of what he might do, to attack them, perhaps accidently murder them while he learned how to feed without tearing his prey’s throat out, or draining the human of too much blood. But most of all, he ran because he did not want to witness the horror, fear, and revulsion of his change upon Kikyo’s face.

It was best he’d left, regardless. Though she was married, had been since the age of fourteen to his dismay, he’d wanted her. As the years went by, one after the other, it had become increasingly difficult to hide his feelings from her. He’d never had the courage to tell her that he did not see her as his sister, but as a man looking upon the woman he desired.

Perhaps it was for the best he’d left without even saying good bye…

Though it was customary to stand perfectly straight when playing the violin, Sesshomaru was wont to sway to the music, to move his head at the longer motions of his bow, and have his upper body move gently with the melody, unable to keep still.

His long, silver hair moved with him, shifting across his muscular back, though he kept the thigh length mass tied back with a black, silk bow at the back of his skull. It was strange actually. Though Kikyo had been his natural born twin, they couldn’t have looked more dissimilar. While she took after their mother, he was almost an exact replica of their father. Except for their eyes. They’d shared the exact same hazel hue, a mixture of green from their father and brown from their mother.

A forest color, their mother was wont to say all those years ago.

Footsteps sounded behind him. He’d left the door open. Kagome’s scent penetrated his senses, but the music kept him calm, gave him something else to focus on besides how much his body burned to possess hers.

She spoke not a word, and he did not turn to greet her but continued playing.

Memories of his family receded; more recent ones taking their place. He’d played for Kagome before, and she’d even insisted her parents have her take piano lessons before their deaths. She’d continued to learn the instrument while at the orphanage, until she’d become proficient at it. Her love of instrumentals rivaled his own, and he’d encouraged her passion to play, even supplied her with a grand piano at the orphanage.

And like so many times before, the soft notes of the piano’s keys hummed through the air as she played the correct notes to the song he played, allowing his violin to take the forefront and only supply the notes that would enhance his performance.

Sometimes, he’d do the same for her. Others, they’d duet in force. But right now, as if she could decipher his mood, she synced her notes with his in a supporting role.

His hand moved from side to side at the right moments, his arm jerking faster a few seconds, then in long glides the next, while his fingers danced upon the end of the strings. His body swayed with the melody, though the sound had a sorrowful tone, the notes touched a content chord within him with Kagome’s presence.

With a last flourish of his bow, the song came to an end, the keys on the piano fading until silence reigned in the room.

Without turning to look at Kagome or speaking, he walked forward, placing his violin in its case gently. Then, slowly, Sesshomaru turned to her. She was already on her feet, facing him. The moonlight that filtered into the room reached across the floor to bathe the lower half of her body, keeping the rest in shadow, but there was no shadow dark enough to prevent his enhanced eyes from seeing all of her clearly.

While he wore all black, jeans and a silk, button up shirt that was only half fastened, baring his upper chest, she wore a crimson top with sleeves that ended at her elbows and hip hugger blue jeans that molded over her curves like a second skin.

Kagome was family, no matter how distantly related, and instead of having fatherly—or hell, even brotherly—affection for her, Sesshomaru felt a man’s interest. He didn’t see her as a daughter or younger sister but as a woman he wanted desperately. Already he felt his body stirring, heating with the beginning of arousal. Not now! If he sported an erection now, with Kagome so near, there was only so long he could use the shadows to shield a very prominent tent in his jeans.

Kagome took a hesitant step towards him. When he did not move towards her, she stopped and fidgeted uncertainly.

Reigning in his lust, Sesshomaru asked, “May I help you with something, Kagome?”

The shadows could not hide her flush from him, and seeing the blood rush to her face in obvious embarrassment had his teeth aching to sink his fangs in her neck—or other, more intimate parts of her body. His predator’s gaze travelled down to her thighs before he could control the impulse.

“I-I’m sorry if I intruded,” she said, indicating the piano behind her. “I just thought…” Shaking her head, she turned and stepped towards the open door. “Never mind. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Before he could think better of it, Sesshomaru flashed over to her, and gently but firmly gripped her upper arm. Big brown eyes turned to stare up at him. There was surprise in her wide eyed gaze, and he almost cursed at his foolishness. He’d moved too fast for a human, he knew.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude…”

“You didn’t,” he quickly interjected. “You of all people could never intrude.”

Surprisingly, she cupped his left cheek, her expression turning somewhat sad. “You seemed…unhappy, sad even, and I didn’t want you to be alone or feel like you were.”

He blinked. She was sad because she thought he was? Tenderness welled up inside him. Unable to help himself, Sesshomaru drew Kagome into his arms, holding her close. It was a bad idea on so many levels, but he ignored reason and held someone for the first time in too many years to count.

As if they had embraced many times, Kagome easily molded her much smaller frame against his own and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. At six feet four inches, he dwarfed her, the top of her head barely reached the bottom of his chest, which was a good thing since it prevented her from noticing his lack of heartbeat. Compared to his size, she was almost child-like, but Sesshomaru knew it was a woman he held, her lush breasts pressed against his torso.

Yes, his body heated at her proximity, but holding her thusly was a different kind of pleasure, but like all good things, it had to come to an end. Placing his large hands on her hips, he gently pushed her away and took a step back. Was it wishful thinking to believe that she let him go reluctantly?

“You play very well, Kagome.”

She beamed under his praise.

“I had wonderful tutors, even you, Sesshomaru. It’s because of you that I became interested in music. You even made sure I could continue practicing after…”

Seeing her sadness at bringing up her loved ones’ demise, Sesshomaru was instantly contrite for the subject being brought up. Though it had been ten years since their passing, he knew that Kagome still felt their loss.

Then, surprising him, she asked, “Who were you playing for?”

He shed away from her gaze at even her vague mention of his twin sister. Feeling it was about time she knew some of the details, he took her hand, and drew her towards the piano bench and sat beside her. The small seat ensured their thighs touched. To prevent her from falling off because of his wide shoulders, he tucked Kagome against his right side, as far away from his heart as he could manage on the short bench. His hand rested innocently on her hip, keeping her close.

A deep sigh slowly expelled from his lungs.

Without preamble, he answered. “Tonight is the anniversary of my twin sister’s death.”

Kagome’s small hand rested consolingly on his thigh, and he tried not to think about wanting her hand sliding up and over his groin. She meant nothing sexual by the contact, and he was a bastard for wanting it anyway.

“I’m so sorry, Sesshomaru. I didn’t know…”

“Don’t worry yourself. She’s been gone for many years.”

More than you know, he thought but didn’t say.

“Of course, I’ll worry,” she said softly, but didn’t press him for details, which he was thankful for. “But I’m here for you, if you ever need…anything.”

He had a few ideas for that anything, but forced himself to relax and calm his lustful thoughts. Kagome was trying to offer him comfort, not indulge in his sick perversions.

“I know you are.”

After a short pause, Kagome asked almost hesitantly, “Would you…like to play another song?”

With a small smile, knew she asked if she could duet with him again, he nodded, and they rearranged themselves on the bench, facing the piano, and Sesshomaru let Kagome lead him into the song of her choice, then placed his own fingers on his side of the keys, and played his notes.

She’d chosen the same song, and though the melody was as hauntingly beautiful as ever, Kagome made it happier than it should have been, by challenging him, showing him he could pay tribute to his sister without the sorrow lacing his heart.

All through the song, the small grin upon his face remained.