Kagome - Kagome by SuWan
Chapter 1
This holiday, Halloween-- I know not why it is so endearing to me, perhaps from the memories with my sisters and mother, or the fact it was something so different and fun. Whatever the reason is for me I am happy to have such wonderful memories with it. And that being said, I decided for the holidays--to write this holiday based fan fiction. I hope to capture the spirit of old Horror stories that have that elegance captured in the Edwardian or Victorian era. Writing this was a bit of a challenge for me as I tried to tap into dark thoughts; patience, setting, and mood had to be correct for me.
If it seems rushed, it may have very well been so. This is after-all a short story and something small for the holidays. Please tell me what you folks think!
Enjoy!
Dedication: I dedicate this tale to Sesshomaru'sSecretAdmirer, for always supporting me and my thoughts and for always making me smile with confidence.
Disclaimer: I do no own InuYasha, it is sole property of Rumiko Takashi. This is just a literary fan work with no form or merit of monetary gain. Any other works similar to this is purely coincidental.
Words of Caution: This is a Halloween inspired fiction. Therefore there will be plays of fears and human psyche. This is a dark story to inspire fear and bring light to those whom suffer with their forms of fear. Please read at your own risk. I do not condone the thoughts of murder nor any violence onto others. This is once again a dark fiction. Read at your own discretion.
Kagome - Kagome
I recall...
It is so fresh--imbedded so firmly into my mind. Never shall I forget the start of it all...
Never--never shall I forget how it all started.
My mind, my eyes, my ears--flesh, nor my heart. None of them can not--will not. Forget.
I--recall it so well...
Remember...
Never forget--and, learn.
...
The air was crisp, carrying such a coolness to it that, the faint nip of winter soon released from autumns precession breached impatiently. The mornings brought the faintest of icy veins amongst the windows of homes yet warmed by their hearth--the cobblestones that everyone walked upon was easily a hazardous trap, glistening with the thinnest of ice. Those lucky enough to ride horse drawn carriages were immune to natures little waking trick. She, herself had to walk pressed so familiarly amongst the homes of strangers--which at this time, she felt should have been nothing but neighbors from the constant clutch to their structure to avoid a broken ankle or so.
Despite the chilly morning, this never stopped the productivity of the busy London streets. No one would stop unless mother nature herself demanded their ears with the scariest of storms. Which, has indeed occurred before, but nonetheless--life will and does continue. Never would it stop for anyone, King or peasant, we are all at the mercy of the timeline that is life. It will continue till it's end--of your life that is. And continue onwards...experiencing, teaching, gaining, loosing, and evolving till there is no need for time and life itself. She mused.
This was life-- her life. A rather dreary and dull conundrum of waking and wandering these bustling streets. Aiding her father's average book shoppe before eventually retiring for the day back to their average home to a very average leather-bound journal. To which she would write her musings of varying degree.
Yet there was nothing in the appearance that was quite average for Kagome. No-- in fact, there was nothing average to her at all, not even her rather sour look on life. But, what else would she expect, she was to live this life of mundane book keeping and perhaps become property to some man one day for a woman had a very, very soft voice in society.
Nonetheless, she was not your average London dame compared to everyone else about her.
Everyone could see that her raven hair and blue eyes of slender oriental shape never came to match the drooping or doe eyed look of the typical London woman. It was very obvious that she was a child perhaps created and born whilst her father traveled the world and brought back with him as a prize of sorts. Her mother? Nothing to do in her life. Perhaps she was a courtesan--perhaps a simple fling on the go that died so quickly during childbirth. Or perhaps, she was a child purely of the Orient as it was nicknamed, and kidnapped to be sold as a slave of sorts. England after-all just installed its own little colony within Japan.
Whatever the case was, she--Kagome was now a part of English society. A young woman that was, semi respected and worked in her fathers book-keep shoppe.
With a deep sigh and frown, full lips slanted in distaste for another average day.
Ding!
The door of the average and familiar book shoppe rang as the young woman walked in, yanking the cold metal key from the lock with a frustrated jingle. Pocketing the damned metal piece, Kagome removed her coat and shawl--hanging them upon the wooden coat stand. Her pale fingers pushing back her ebony hair that was kept in a rather messy bun.
Approaching the hearth of the dark and cold book shoppe, she rubbed her hands together puffing a warm breath into them in hopes of warming her chilled body to sustain it long enough till she could warm the books and herself. The shoppe was still a bit dark--the suns rays had yet to warm the interior and fill it with light. She however stilled quickly, her pupils fought in a war of narrowing and dilating, her body shuddering whilst her breathe quickened slowly but surely. It was still too dark.
Fingers trembling to strike the match before setting aflame to the coal and wood, she sighed with a groan of satisfaction while the flames grew and so did her body thaw with the books. Now, she could relax.
Once she felt the ability to move with her blood properly flowing--it was time to begin her mundane life.
Chair creaking as she nestled in, Kagome opened the book of records with those whom came in to buy books or order the ones they needed for collections or other frivolous notions.
Dipping her quill into the tiny glass of ink, the young woman pursed her lips in hope of sating their dry state in a quick lick with her tongue--yet her lips cracked and bled. Sighing once more, Kagome nestled as comfortably as she could in her old wooden chair and let her mind wander.
Fingers toying idly with the fraying hems of her bustled skirt, Kagome's face relaxed only to distort into one of distaste. She was by no terms young--she was well now over the age of nineteen. She was no longer considered young or spry,no--now she was an old maid. What man would look at her?
What man would want to court her?
No man wanted someone so old, someone whom was on the verge of death with maybe but twenty years left within them. The duty of bearing a child would be tiring and difficult! No, not a sensible man--she was far too old by what average society would desire. What man could want a woman with an education--exotic look, and well over ripened.
Very few and very far in between. No--her romantic life was not average, it was poor.
She was starred at yes, she was after all very different in looks. But, in this era, that meant very well to nothing. Yes, men once deeply desired her when she was younger but now--older...well. She was still desired, but not as a woman, rather as a ... nightly interest.
The desperate pang in her heart did nothing to quell her descent into the negative void of loneliness and all that it poisoned her with. Ideas of giving in and losing herself into what could be pleasure teased her but-- she wouldn't give in, she wanted to wait for perhaps...her...well, her knight in shinning armor. To whisk her away from this average life!
To scream to the heavens she was beautiful and a woman regardless of her age--to tell her, her mind was as beautiful as her soul and to not see her exotic features as a sexual folly.
"Never shall it happen in this life." she sighed disappointingly with a defeated frown.
Cerulean orbs cast downward, lips curled into a small and sad smile as she slowly glanced to her only little secret haven in this average world. Yes-- since she could recall her average life here in London, Kagome was always surrounded with books. One in particular was her only way to break free from her mundane cage. The tale of a great moon blessed demon--whom was heartless came to eventually find the beauty in the fragile lives of humans. With the help of a woman, a shrine maiden-- the two ascended into a life of happiness-- "Until man grows in envy of her beauty." again Kagome sighed.
She felt she could relate so well to the woman in the book. Her looks being her unique feature and yet her downfall. Yes-- Kagome always felt a familiar tug of sorrow for the woman whom had to suffer at the loss of her demon to the greed of humanity.
Fingertips caressing the cold leather of the book, she sighed and closed her eyes pouring her heart out to the demon who had suffered the biggest loss of all. I would never do what she did...I would never give in...she vowed earnestly.
"Kagome!"
"Yes father!" she gasped faltering into her chair with a hand clutched to her heart.
Eyes darting rapidly to the doors, Kagome wondered how she failed to hear the bell ring upon his entry.
"Please no day dreaming! You have work to do and money to earn. We are a family of two, not one, and not royalty. And when you come home, you better watch out. They haven't caught that bastard killer yet." He barked with a cock of his head and frown upon folding arms.
"Y-yes father!" she stammered biting her lip with a flinch upon breaking the skin to which her lips stained with blood, again.
......
What else was to expect from the day?
Her knight would never walk through the doors with each ring of the bell. But-- she couldn't help the tiny little spark of hope that burned in her heart, that it would change one day...
No, today like every other average day was-- average.
She worked hard, Kagome wanted to make her father proud. Yet, she knew deep inside that her father had only taught her what she needed to know to put the burden of book keeping upon her. The duty of finance for her to carry upon her back as they barely went by in little comfort. Her earnings going to the taverns and whore houses and who knows what else!
She was tired.
Tired of this forsaken average life.
Hugging her grey and dull shawl to her equally dull grey dress, Kagome gazed out to the horizon of the slowly setting sun with a promise in her eyes that she would escape this life. It will change! Some day--somehow, it WILL change.
Shivering once again, she cowarded from the cold winds that blew into her body. Biting her gums to stop the chatter of her teeth, Kagome turned with a hunched back to shield her body of the winds, home.
Upon opening the wooden door to her home, Kagome shuddered rubbing her shoulders firmly to gain warmth through friction. The nights were becoming colder and as she stole a glance to the window--it felt the sky itself was coming closer.
It was a bit too late to eat supper, despite the sun faintly peeking over the cracks of the knit homes together, her father and hand maid would be well into readying tucked for bed--her father nursing perhaps a bottle with him. So she would miss supper.
But, supper was simple, average again if you will. Always a full loaf of baked bread--once gone even stale would be used for the rest of the week if it lasted so long. This night, they were lucky as it was a fresh loaf. Stew made of left over vegetables or what they had left at least, protein either once again scraps of meat they wishes to preserve from her fathers gambling or perhaps trades of sorts with the local butcher or fisherman. Nonetheless, it was dinner and it was a treat their handmaid was able to create for them and even on the rarer occasion they would have a sweet treat.
Their handmaid was someone Kagome grew all her life with. Not a mother exactly and even though she wanted to befriend the well worn yet jolly faced woman, she knew her place. This did not mean she would not help out with the chores regardless or listen to when the woman would cry in agony over the long gone misses.
Their relationship was a content one of a distant fondness and would remain so.
As it seemed of recent, supper time between she and her father was always awkward. Small topics rising here and there, perhaps a debate of what the Lord has proclaimed to happen, or of her and her current life. Always ending with a stare from her father before rising and retreating for his room. And always, something in the pit of her stomach turned. Missing supper this once and missing that awkward occurrence was never a bad thing.
"I too shall retire for the night."
Passing through the kitchen to steal a piece of what seemed to be fresh bread, she poured herself a small goblet of ale and retired up to her room.
Glancing once again to the window, she knew she had little time to light a candle or two before becoming deeply encased in darkness, and darkness was something she could not handle too well.
The abyss of it, the thought and feeling of utter vulnerability. Left with no where to go or run from --darkness caressed you, your soul, everything that you are was left for its fingers long cold caress. Exposing everything you hid, for you can not hide from darkness whilst in it. No, thoughts revealed, visions left to be played before you-- creatures unknown could wander with eyes better than you, their teeth of doubts and fears sinking into you, tormenting you, ripping you apart till--
Trembling, she began to writhe as her fear of darkness stunned her into a stupor of fear.
Dropping her goblet and bread upon the table, Kagome rushed for the matched with shaking hands and quickly lit the candles near her window and upon the mantle of her fireplace. Yes-- how could she forget? The largest candle of all in her room.
Quickly approaching the hearth, she let the simmering coals from the morning grow aflame with fresh wood and twig.
Standing slowly he smiled a small quivering smile, her hands rubbed and fiddled together trying to calm herself from her fear inducing stupor. Her heart raced whilst she nodded humming to herself with a faint rock back and forth. It's okay--it's okay, there is light now. Darkness can not--will not harm you, there is light--there is warmth.
Turning to her abandoned meal, Kagome held her breathe all too soon forgotten with a sharp intake of air-- the crackle of the fire shaking her nerves that had yet to calm, her eyes once again dialated searched frantically about.
Shadow figures danced on the walls eerily in a motion swift and hastily as the flames themselves licked the air. Innocent objects distorting into shadowy creatures that seemed to taunt and tease her.
Arms hugging around her slender figure, Kagome quaked where she stood-- shivering from fear rather than cold. Her eyes and psyche toyed with her, her contentment shattering once more whilst the sounds of flutes played in her mind. Her mind wandering to a far, far away place with the sound of children laughing. Collapsing to the floor she panted--what was happening? What was becoming of her? What is wrong with me! her thoughts argued with reality versus her fears.
Childrens voices sang in her head--rocking back and forth on the floor she begged for her inner tormenting to stop. Eyes swelling with tears her lips shook in consistent mumbles of begging. Hair falling further from the tie that bound it together as she writhed with whimpers for the shadows that danced, skipping around her in circles to stop. Stop their singing, their teasing-- their laughter as they sang so joyfully her name-- her name, the pivotal point of a children's song from a land so foreign to her.
The bodies of women unknown to her but perhaps as a fleeting face that passed her fathers book shoppe laid bout her in a circle. No--she knew where she had seen their faces before. Their eyes hollow--mouths open in a forever silent cry. Their blood spilled from a crevice upon their chest where once their hearts should have beat. Never ending their fits of laughter and jovial song, the children cried out her name in the hymn;
" 'Kagome-Kagome,
The bird in the cage.
When--oh when, will it come out?
In the night of dawn--'"
Stop!--stop,stop,stop! Please leave me alone! I hate you--I hate the darkness. Please stop and leave me alone!
Yes-- this was average life. Her average life.
Her average fears and her average break down. Yes...
One day, she would escape this average life.
Crackle.
Flinching, the young woman blinked her swollen eyes as suddenly all went silent. The shadows on the walls halted their dancing with sporadic flicks and the warmth of the fire once again filled the room. Sitting up slowly, Kagome lowered her hands with puffs of air--her heart hammering against her chest, hands clutching lightly to her skirt before looking to her now normal room.
Was it all my imagination? Licking dry lips, she looked around with a pivot of her hips, perhaps it was just my mind playing with the shadows.
Rising from her seat off the floor, she shuddered trying to forget what just happened. A smile and giggle falling from her lips at her own hysteric behavior.
Walking to her dresser, Kagome poured water into her porcelain bowl and with a rag began to wash her face of her dried tears and cleanse herself of her worries, hopefully. The darkness changed her, always.
The coolness of the air touching her damp flesh did help to lower her temperature.
Stepping away feeling better she once again found herself looking to the moon.
Thoughts wandered to the man--the demon that was in the fairytale of her favorite book. And somehow in her moment of relapse, she found comfort.
Wanting to bring much comfort to herself, she began to undress herself from her working clothes. The dress loosened with the corset soon to follow allowing her to breathe in deeply with a sigh of comfort. Hands coming to unfasten the tiny button collar holding her neck's frill was too relaxed before she quickly drew herself to her blinds to dress in her night dress, keeping her bloomers on for added warmth.
Fingers working the bun out from the fastening, raven looks finally tumbled down in a dark cascade over her shoulders.
Quiet and unsteady steps made their way to the desk with her journal and meal. Perhaps, she was starved and hallucinating from lack of food.
No--journal first.
Eyes and hands moving in unison to her leather bound journal, Kagome took her freshly dipped quill in hand opening her book and pages to the next blank space.
November 4th, 1882
Today the darkness invaded the light once again.
Reality and darkness again became one for the fleetest of moments. That song again..
My name in that song, where does it come from?
Those children, their voices... so innocent, pierce my soul and heart in a way that I fear I can never return from.
It calls to me, this song... it speaks of a caged bird. Is my inner self?
I feel like one, a bird caged by society, by this life I am fit to live.
I had another dark dream.
In my dreams I see my life with him. He is my knight, my freedom from this world and with him the songs play.
His eyes, they haunt me... They call to me. Beckon me for what, I know not.
I know he is not real, he is just something in my dreams spawned from that book I hold so dear to me.
He comes so close to me and I want to go. Each time I step closer to him in my dreams, I feel my life draining... going away to a world I know I will forever be happy. But fear clutches my heart. My soul knows there is something wrong and yet...I do not know if I want to keep running...
His eyes, they glow so eerily and I feel death crawl onto me. I've seen in my dreams what he can do!
Yet, I do not wish to run.
He has seen me, and he watches me intently in my dreams whilst he rules the lives of others so harshly...so quickly. And I by his side watching him snuffing out the lives of women so innocently, devouring their hearts.
I wake in fear each morning to the peak of light. My hands and body, stained with blood...their blood. What is becoming of me...
I recall...
It is so fresh--imbedded so firmly into my mind. Never shall I forget the start of it all...
Never--never shall I forget how it all started.
My mind, my eyes, my ears--flesh, nor my heart. None of them can not--will not. Forget.
I--recall it so well...
Remember...
Never forget--and, learn. He promised... He will come for me. I know he is not real, but some part of me knows that out there, he truly does exist, and I need to only wait.
I will one day end this boring mundane life. I have promised the setting sun today.
He will come.
Hands limp, she clutched the quill so gingerly before sitting up. The feeling of life drained from her, she gazed to the moon once again.
She could not eat...
She could sleep, and see her princely knight again in her dreams. But with rest came the terror of waking and the news to follow of what she knew had occurred in darkness.
Could she--should she...attempt to stay awake?
Could her mental state accept such a long time of being alert and awake?
Groaning, hands fisted into her hair clutching the ink coloured locks in frustration as she glanced to her goblet of ale and took the drink--swiftly finishing it in haste.
Panting, Kagome licked her ale stained lips, resting her forehead upon her palms all before once again looking to the moon. The symbol of her beloved dream prince. Yes, the man in her dreams of her demon of the moon--her prince. Shoulders slumping, the alcohol with her tired brain began to relax her. And yet--she could not remove her eyes from the moon still.
"My dearest prince... I would not let man's greed sway my heart. Nor would I abandon you," she paused "If you ever need help. Never--forget, I am here for you." Nodding to herself in affirmation, Kagome stood slowly from her desk and reached opening her window just a crack.
Pulling away, she withdrew her bedsheets and gazed to her bed with hesitance.
Inhaling a slow and deep breath, she climbed in and pulled the blankets to her body, snuggling into bed with an equally slow exhale.
"Good night, Sesshomaru..."
Ring... Ring... Ring...
Rolling over in disturbance, the ringing of bells slowly woke the young woman. Her peaceful face contorting with waking expressions, her hands clutching to the bed as her eyes parted open with a haze. The silver light of the moon pouring so strongly into her room she gasped.
Darkness!
Clutching to her bed sheets, Kagome began panting as she sat up, her eyes scrunching firmly shut. Her room was dark, she hated the dark.
No! No...
"No!" she cried shaking her head in a desperate plea to having woken up. Never catching the glimpse of white that entered her room.
"Stop! Leave me alone!" her voice quaking, she burried her hands to her locks, legs bending in a curl as her face buried into her knees.
Trembling again, Kagome felt the fear clutching to her heart once again. She almost did not sense the gentle touch on her shoulder.
"Kagome," a velvet and soothing voice called to her. "Look to me."
Slowly, she rose her head, her eyes wavering with silent tears--cerulean irises peering into golden hues.
He came.
Hands so large and gentle cupped her tear streaked cheeks.
Silver hair glowed angelically in the silver moonlight, eyes golden like the sun peered into her soul listlessly--thin pupils narrowing further as cold lips ascended onto hers. Again her heart raced as his fingers carefully threaded through her raven hair, pulling from the kiss so abruptly her hands had to brace to his white elegant garments for support. "Y-you're here." she whispered breathlessly.
"I have kept my word."
"Lord Sesshomaru!" an impish voice broke their contented silence whilst the ringing of flutes played in her ears and the thumping of drums soon followed.
Those flutes...
Head lulling aside, Kagome nestled her body further into the warmth of the demon, her cheek caressing his silken tendrils whilst her body wilted in the sound of the music becoming drunk. Her eyes growing into a deep haze once again, she looked weakly to the green scaly imp that dragged a rather unconscious woman into her room.
Brows furrowing, Kagome clutched gingerly to the mans attire, her head lulling aside as he turned with the faintest smirk on his lips to her. Gold bleeding with red whilst fingertips traced her cheek. "It's is time Kagome,"
Time? she questioned mentally.
"Kagome, Kagome...
...Bird in the cage," This song... she whimpered silently as her lips fell open in the faintest of tremors. Her brows furrowing in sorrow as fear slithered into her heart and her eyes began to weep. It was this song again--and yet he continued to chant the lyrics.
"When-- oh when, will it come out?" hands grasping her wrists, he plucked her hands away from him, dragging her shuddering body to the limp girl.
Curled and on her knees before the woman, Kagome panted as her hands clutched to the floor and she began to rock her body.
Listening, she heard his graceful steps approach the woman whom laid unconscious before her, a charming yet cold smile on his lips and an odd glimmer in his crimson eyes. Peering intently to her, he kneeled before Kagome and to the palsied woman he dove his right hand into her rib cage, "...In the night of dawn?"
Flinching Kagome began to sob as her demon prince whom heard her prayers thusly every night. And whom she had dreamed of --so she thought; since beckoning him. Kneeled before her with the woman whose screams were currently hushed by the little green scaly imps hands over her mouth muffling her cries and withered away with her heart torn from her.
The pulsing organ dripping in his hand. Sharp tips of his nails stained with the blood of the victim he once again took before her very eyes.
Blackness captured her.
...
"Ah!" Crying out in a sharp intake of air, Kagome threw open her sheets pulling herself to firmly out of bed. Breath strained with deep puffs, she closed her eyes swallowing saliva to moisten her dry throat.
It was still night, her candles still lit--her floor too was still clean, and her Prince--gone. A nightmare?
Sighing to calm her raging heartbeat, Kagome meandered to her dresser with mirror, and settled down to look at the reflection of herself, which would look so depressingly back to her. Hands combing through her hair-she soon found it difficult to thread through. Her hair wasn't perfect, but it was not so unkempt.
Hands withdrawing, her eyes widened and lips quivered as her nightmare felt to continue--even in consciousness.
Blood-- not her blood she was sure, stained her hands so deeply.
"H-How..."
The wind howled and with her curtains drawn out in the dance of the evening winds, so did the flames flicker out so hastily.
Left in darkness but the silver light of the moon, Kagome gazed to herself numbingly in the mirror.
There, gazing before her, was her demon prince. There-- staring so coldly in nonchalance was her demon blessed by the moon, his hands raised in the same manner as hers. Stained in the same manner as hers-- clutching the heart of a woman whom laid upon her reflected bedroom floor.
Her mind she felt was collapsing! All sanity left her as the beat of drums began mimicking her racing heart.
Hands stained with blood painted her cheeks and her already blood stained lips.
Was this her?
Is ... Is this me! "Is this who I am?" She demanded in a cold silence. The image of her prince mirroring her actions as his hands painted blood upon his porcelain flesh as she did.
What am I?
Who am I!
Her mind was spiraling into an abyss of relapse and realization. She was the demon--she was the killer! All those women she dreamed of.
If it seems rushed, it may have very well been so. This is after-all a short story and something small for the holidays. Please tell me what you folks think!
Enjoy!
Dedication: I dedicate this tale to Sesshomaru'sSecretAdmirer, for always supporting me and my thoughts and for always making me smile with confidence.
Disclaimer: I do no own InuYasha, it is sole property of Rumiko Takashi. This is just a literary fan work with no form or merit of monetary gain. Any other works similar to this is purely coincidental.
Words of Caution: This is a Halloween inspired fiction. Therefore there will be plays of fears and human psyche. This is a dark story to inspire fear and bring light to those whom suffer with their forms of fear. Please read at your own risk. I do not condone the thoughts of murder nor any violence onto others. This is once again a dark fiction. Read at your own discretion.
Kagome - Kagome
I recall...
It is so fresh--imbedded so firmly into my mind. Never shall I forget the start of it all...
Never--never shall I forget how it all started.
My mind, my eyes, my ears--flesh, nor my heart. None of them can not--will not. Forget.
I--recall it so well...
Remember...
Never forget--and, learn.
...
The air was crisp, carrying such a coolness to it that, the faint nip of winter soon released from autumns precession breached impatiently. The mornings brought the faintest of icy veins amongst the windows of homes yet warmed by their hearth--the cobblestones that everyone walked upon was easily a hazardous trap, glistening with the thinnest of ice. Those lucky enough to ride horse drawn carriages were immune to natures little waking trick. She, herself had to walk pressed so familiarly amongst the homes of strangers--which at this time, she felt should have been nothing but neighbors from the constant clutch to their structure to avoid a broken ankle or so.
Despite the chilly morning, this never stopped the productivity of the busy London streets. No one would stop unless mother nature herself demanded their ears with the scariest of storms. Which, has indeed occurred before, but nonetheless--life will and does continue. Never would it stop for anyone, King or peasant, we are all at the mercy of the timeline that is life. It will continue till it's end--of your life that is. And continue onwards...experiencing, teaching, gaining, loosing, and evolving till there is no need for time and life itself. She mused.
This was life-- her life. A rather dreary and dull conundrum of waking and wandering these bustling streets. Aiding her father's average book shoppe before eventually retiring for the day back to their average home to a very average leather-bound journal. To which she would write her musings of varying degree.
Yet there was nothing in the appearance that was quite average for Kagome. No-- in fact, there was nothing average to her at all, not even her rather sour look on life. But, what else would she expect, she was to live this life of mundane book keeping and perhaps become property to some man one day for a woman had a very, very soft voice in society.
Nonetheless, she was not your average London dame compared to everyone else about her.
Everyone could see that her raven hair and blue eyes of slender oriental shape never came to match the drooping or doe eyed look of the typical London woman. It was very obvious that she was a child perhaps created and born whilst her father traveled the world and brought back with him as a prize of sorts. Her mother? Nothing to do in her life. Perhaps she was a courtesan--perhaps a simple fling on the go that died so quickly during childbirth. Or perhaps, she was a child purely of the Orient as it was nicknamed, and kidnapped to be sold as a slave of sorts. England after-all just installed its own little colony within Japan.
Whatever the case was, she--Kagome was now a part of English society. A young woman that was, semi respected and worked in her fathers book-keep shoppe.
With a deep sigh and frown, full lips slanted in distaste for another average day.
Ding!
The door of the average and familiar book shoppe rang as the young woman walked in, yanking the cold metal key from the lock with a frustrated jingle. Pocketing the damned metal piece, Kagome removed her coat and shawl--hanging them upon the wooden coat stand. Her pale fingers pushing back her ebony hair that was kept in a rather messy bun.
Approaching the hearth of the dark and cold book shoppe, she rubbed her hands together puffing a warm breath into them in hopes of warming her chilled body to sustain it long enough till she could warm the books and herself. The shoppe was still a bit dark--the suns rays had yet to warm the interior and fill it with light. She however stilled quickly, her pupils fought in a war of narrowing and dilating, her body shuddering whilst her breathe quickened slowly but surely. It was still too dark.
Fingers trembling to strike the match before setting aflame to the coal and wood, she sighed with a groan of satisfaction while the flames grew and so did her body thaw with the books. Now, she could relax.
Once she felt the ability to move with her blood properly flowing--it was time to begin her mundane life.
Chair creaking as she nestled in, Kagome opened the book of records with those whom came in to buy books or order the ones they needed for collections or other frivolous notions.
Dipping her quill into the tiny glass of ink, the young woman pursed her lips in hope of sating their dry state in a quick lick with her tongue--yet her lips cracked and bled. Sighing once more, Kagome nestled as comfortably as she could in her old wooden chair and let her mind wander.
Fingers toying idly with the fraying hems of her bustled skirt, Kagome's face relaxed only to distort into one of distaste. She was by no terms young--she was well now over the age of nineteen. She was no longer considered young or spry,no--now she was an old maid. What man would look at her?
What man would want to court her?
No man wanted someone so old, someone whom was on the verge of death with maybe but twenty years left within them. The duty of bearing a child would be tiring and difficult! No, not a sensible man--she was far too old by what average society would desire. What man could want a woman with an education--exotic look, and well over ripened.
Very few and very far in between. No--her romantic life was not average, it was poor.
She was starred at yes, she was after all very different in looks. But, in this era, that meant very well to nothing. Yes, men once deeply desired her when she was younger but now--older...well. She was still desired, but not as a woman, rather as a ... nightly interest.
The desperate pang in her heart did nothing to quell her descent into the negative void of loneliness and all that it poisoned her with. Ideas of giving in and losing herself into what could be pleasure teased her but-- she wouldn't give in, she wanted to wait for perhaps...her...well, her knight in shinning armor. To whisk her away from this average life!
To scream to the heavens she was beautiful and a woman regardless of her age--to tell her, her mind was as beautiful as her soul and to not see her exotic features as a sexual folly.
"Never shall it happen in this life." she sighed disappointingly with a defeated frown.
Cerulean orbs cast downward, lips curled into a small and sad smile as she slowly glanced to her only little secret haven in this average world. Yes-- since she could recall her average life here in London, Kagome was always surrounded with books. One in particular was her only way to break free from her mundane cage. The tale of a great moon blessed demon--whom was heartless came to eventually find the beauty in the fragile lives of humans. With the help of a woman, a shrine maiden-- the two ascended into a life of happiness-- "Until man grows in envy of her beauty." again Kagome sighed.
She felt she could relate so well to the woman in the book. Her looks being her unique feature and yet her downfall. Yes-- Kagome always felt a familiar tug of sorrow for the woman whom had to suffer at the loss of her demon to the greed of humanity.
Fingertips caressing the cold leather of the book, she sighed and closed her eyes pouring her heart out to the demon who had suffered the biggest loss of all. I would never do what she did...I would never give in...she vowed earnestly.
"Kagome!"
"Yes father!" she gasped faltering into her chair with a hand clutched to her heart.
Eyes darting rapidly to the doors, Kagome wondered how she failed to hear the bell ring upon his entry.
"Please no day dreaming! You have work to do and money to earn. We are a family of two, not one, and not royalty. And when you come home, you better watch out. They haven't caught that bastard killer yet." He barked with a cock of his head and frown upon folding arms.
"Y-yes father!" she stammered biting her lip with a flinch upon breaking the skin to which her lips stained with blood, again.
......
What else was to expect from the day?
Her knight would never walk through the doors with each ring of the bell. But-- she couldn't help the tiny little spark of hope that burned in her heart, that it would change one day...
No, today like every other average day was-- average.
She worked hard, Kagome wanted to make her father proud. Yet, she knew deep inside that her father had only taught her what she needed to know to put the burden of book keeping upon her. The duty of finance for her to carry upon her back as they barely went by in little comfort. Her earnings going to the taverns and whore houses and who knows what else!
She was tired.
Tired of this forsaken average life.
Hugging her grey and dull shawl to her equally dull grey dress, Kagome gazed out to the horizon of the slowly setting sun with a promise in her eyes that she would escape this life. It will change! Some day--somehow, it WILL change.
Shivering once again, she cowarded from the cold winds that blew into her body. Biting her gums to stop the chatter of her teeth, Kagome turned with a hunched back to shield her body of the winds, home.
Upon opening the wooden door to her home, Kagome shuddered rubbing her shoulders firmly to gain warmth through friction. The nights were becoming colder and as she stole a glance to the window--it felt the sky itself was coming closer.
It was a bit too late to eat supper, despite the sun faintly peeking over the cracks of the knit homes together, her father and hand maid would be well into readying tucked for bed--her father nursing perhaps a bottle with him. So she would miss supper.
But, supper was simple, average again if you will. Always a full loaf of baked bread--once gone even stale would be used for the rest of the week if it lasted so long. This night, they were lucky as it was a fresh loaf. Stew made of left over vegetables or what they had left at least, protein either once again scraps of meat they wishes to preserve from her fathers gambling or perhaps trades of sorts with the local butcher or fisherman. Nonetheless, it was dinner and it was a treat their handmaid was able to create for them and even on the rarer occasion they would have a sweet treat.
Their handmaid was someone Kagome grew all her life with. Not a mother exactly and even though she wanted to befriend the well worn yet jolly faced woman, she knew her place. This did not mean she would not help out with the chores regardless or listen to when the woman would cry in agony over the long gone misses.
Their relationship was a content one of a distant fondness and would remain so.
As it seemed of recent, supper time between she and her father was always awkward. Small topics rising here and there, perhaps a debate of what the Lord has proclaimed to happen, or of her and her current life. Always ending with a stare from her father before rising and retreating for his room. And always, something in the pit of her stomach turned. Missing supper this once and missing that awkward occurrence was never a bad thing.
"I too shall retire for the night."
Passing through the kitchen to steal a piece of what seemed to be fresh bread, she poured herself a small goblet of ale and retired up to her room.
Glancing once again to the window, she knew she had little time to light a candle or two before becoming deeply encased in darkness, and darkness was something she could not handle too well.
The abyss of it, the thought and feeling of utter vulnerability. Left with no where to go or run from --darkness caressed you, your soul, everything that you are was left for its fingers long cold caress. Exposing everything you hid, for you can not hide from darkness whilst in it. No, thoughts revealed, visions left to be played before you-- creatures unknown could wander with eyes better than you, their teeth of doubts and fears sinking into you, tormenting you, ripping you apart till--
Trembling, she began to writhe as her fear of darkness stunned her into a stupor of fear.
Dropping her goblet and bread upon the table, Kagome rushed for the matched with shaking hands and quickly lit the candles near her window and upon the mantle of her fireplace. Yes-- how could she forget? The largest candle of all in her room.
Quickly approaching the hearth, she let the simmering coals from the morning grow aflame with fresh wood and twig.
Standing slowly he smiled a small quivering smile, her hands rubbed and fiddled together trying to calm herself from her fear inducing stupor. Her heart raced whilst she nodded humming to herself with a faint rock back and forth. It's okay--it's okay, there is light now. Darkness can not--will not harm you, there is light--there is warmth.
Turning to her abandoned meal, Kagome held her breathe all too soon forgotten with a sharp intake of air-- the crackle of the fire shaking her nerves that had yet to calm, her eyes once again dialated searched frantically about.
Shadow figures danced on the walls eerily in a motion swift and hastily as the flames themselves licked the air. Innocent objects distorting into shadowy creatures that seemed to taunt and tease her.
Arms hugging around her slender figure, Kagome quaked where she stood-- shivering from fear rather than cold. Her eyes and psyche toyed with her, her contentment shattering once more whilst the sounds of flutes played in her mind. Her mind wandering to a far, far away place with the sound of children laughing. Collapsing to the floor she panted--what was happening? What was becoming of her? What is wrong with me! her thoughts argued with reality versus her fears.
Childrens voices sang in her head--rocking back and forth on the floor she begged for her inner tormenting to stop. Eyes swelling with tears her lips shook in consistent mumbles of begging. Hair falling further from the tie that bound it together as she writhed with whimpers for the shadows that danced, skipping around her in circles to stop. Stop their singing, their teasing-- their laughter as they sang so joyfully her name-- her name, the pivotal point of a children's song from a land so foreign to her.
The bodies of women unknown to her but perhaps as a fleeting face that passed her fathers book shoppe laid bout her in a circle. No--she knew where she had seen their faces before. Their eyes hollow--mouths open in a forever silent cry. Their blood spilled from a crevice upon their chest where once their hearts should have beat. Never ending their fits of laughter and jovial song, the children cried out her name in the hymn;
" 'Kagome-Kagome,
The bird in the cage.
When--oh when, will it come out?
In the night of dawn--'"
Stop!--stop,stop,stop! Please leave me alone! I hate you--I hate the darkness. Please stop and leave me alone!
Yes-- this was average life. Her average life.
Her average fears and her average break down. Yes...
One day, she would escape this average life.
Crackle.
Flinching, the young woman blinked her swollen eyes as suddenly all went silent. The shadows on the walls halted their dancing with sporadic flicks and the warmth of the fire once again filled the room. Sitting up slowly, Kagome lowered her hands with puffs of air--her heart hammering against her chest, hands clutching lightly to her skirt before looking to her now normal room.
Was it all my imagination? Licking dry lips, she looked around with a pivot of her hips, perhaps it was just my mind playing with the shadows.
Rising from her seat off the floor, she shuddered trying to forget what just happened. A smile and giggle falling from her lips at her own hysteric behavior.
Walking to her dresser, Kagome poured water into her porcelain bowl and with a rag began to wash her face of her dried tears and cleanse herself of her worries, hopefully. The darkness changed her, always.
The coolness of the air touching her damp flesh did help to lower her temperature.
Stepping away feeling better she once again found herself looking to the moon.
Thoughts wandered to the man--the demon that was in the fairytale of her favorite book. And somehow in her moment of relapse, she found comfort.
Wanting to bring much comfort to herself, she began to undress herself from her working clothes. The dress loosened with the corset soon to follow allowing her to breathe in deeply with a sigh of comfort. Hands coming to unfasten the tiny button collar holding her neck's frill was too relaxed before she quickly drew herself to her blinds to dress in her night dress, keeping her bloomers on for added warmth.
Fingers working the bun out from the fastening, raven looks finally tumbled down in a dark cascade over her shoulders.
Quiet and unsteady steps made their way to the desk with her journal and meal. Perhaps, she was starved and hallucinating from lack of food.
No--journal first.
Eyes and hands moving in unison to her leather bound journal, Kagome took her freshly dipped quill in hand opening her book and pages to the next blank space.
November 4th, 1882
Today the darkness invaded the light once again.
Reality and darkness again became one for the fleetest of moments. That song again..
My name in that song, where does it come from?
Those children, their voices... so innocent, pierce my soul and heart in a way that I fear I can never return from.
It calls to me, this song... it speaks of a caged bird. Is my inner self?
I feel like one, a bird caged by society, by this life I am fit to live.
I had another dark dream.
In my dreams I see my life with him. He is my knight, my freedom from this world and with him the songs play.
His eyes, they haunt me... They call to me. Beckon me for what, I know not.
I know he is not real, he is just something in my dreams spawned from that book I hold so dear to me.
He comes so close to me and I want to go. Each time I step closer to him in my dreams, I feel my life draining... going away to a world I know I will forever be happy. But fear clutches my heart. My soul knows there is something wrong and yet...I do not know if I want to keep running...
His eyes, they glow so eerily and I feel death crawl onto me. I've seen in my dreams what he can do!
Yet, I do not wish to run.
He has seen me, and he watches me intently in my dreams whilst he rules the lives of others so harshly...so quickly. And I by his side watching him snuffing out the lives of women so innocently, devouring their hearts.
I wake in fear each morning to the peak of light. My hands and body, stained with blood...their blood. What is becoming of me...
I recall...
It is so fresh--imbedded so firmly into my mind. Never shall I forget the start of it all...
Never--never shall I forget how it all started.
My mind, my eyes, my ears--flesh, nor my heart. None of them can not--will not. Forget.
I--recall it so well...
Remember...
Never forget--and, learn. He promised... He will come for me. I know he is not real, but some part of me knows that out there, he truly does exist, and I need to only wait.
I will one day end this boring mundane life. I have promised the setting sun today.
He will come.
Hands limp, she clutched the quill so gingerly before sitting up. The feeling of life drained from her, she gazed to the moon once again.
She could not eat...
She could sleep, and see her princely knight again in her dreams. But with rest came the terror of waking and the news to follow of what she knew had occurred in darkness.
Could she--should she...attempt to stay awake?
Could her mental state accept such a long time of being alert and awake?
Groaning, hands fisted into her hair clutching the ink coloured locks in frustration as she glanced to her goblet of ale and took the drink--swiftly finishing it in haste.
Panting, Kagome licked her ale stained lips, resting her forehead upon her palms all before once again looking to the moon. The symbol of her beloved dream prince. Yes, the man in her dreams of her demon of the moon--her prince. Shoulders slumping, the alcohol with her tired brain began to relax her. And yet--she could not remove her eyes from the moon still.
"My dearest prince... I would not let man's greed sway my heart. Nor would I abandon you," she paused "If you ever need help. Never--forget, I am here for you." Nodding to herself in affirmation, Kagome stood slowly from her desk and reached opening her window just a crack.
Pulling away, she withdrew her bedsheets and gazed to her bed with hesitance.
Inhaling a slow and deep breath, she climbed in and pulled the blankets to her body, snuggling into bed with an equally slow exhale.
"Good night, Sesshomaru..."
Ring... Ring... Ring...
Rolling over in disturbance, the ringing of bells slowly woke the young woman. Her peaceful face contorting with waking expressions, her hands clutching to the bed as her eyes parted open with a haze. The silver light of the moon pouring so strongly into her room she gasped.
Darkness!
Clutching to her bed sheets, Kagome began panting as she sat up, her eyes scrunching firmly shut. Her room was dark, she hated the dark.
No! No...
"No!" she cried shaking her head in a desperate plea to having woken up. Never catching the glimpse of white that entered her room.
"Stop! Leave me alone!" her voice quaking, she burried her hands to her locks, legs bending in a curl as her face buried into her knees.
Trembling again, Kagome felt the fear clutching to her heart once again. She almost did not sense the gentle touch on her shoulder.
"Kagome," a velvet and soothing voice called to her. "Look to me."
Slowly, she rose her head, her eyes wavering with silent tears--cerulean irises peering into golden hues.
He came.
Hands so large and gentle cupped her tear streaked cheeks.
Silver hair glowed angelically in the silver moonlight, eyes golden like the sun peered into her soul listlessly--thin pupils narrowing further as cold lips ascended onto hers. Again her heart raced as his fingers carefully threaded through her raven hair, pulling from the kiss so abruptly her hands had to brace to his white elegant garments for support. "Y-you're here." she whispered breathlessly.
"I have kept my word."
"Lord Sesshomaru!" an impish voice broke their contented silence whilst the ringing of flutes played in her ears and the thumping of drums soon followed.
Those flutes...
Head lulling aside, Kagome nestled her body further into the warmth of the demon, her cheek caressing his silken tendrils whilst her body wilted in the sound of the music becoming drunk. Her eyes growing into a deep haze once again, she looked weakly to the green scaly imp that dragged a rather unconscious woman into her room.
Brows furrowing, Kagome clutched gingerly to the mans attire, her head lulling aside as he turned with the faintest smirk on his lips to her. Gold bleeding with red whilst fingertips traced her cheek. "It's is time Kagome,"
Time? she questioned mentally.
"Kagome, Kagome...
...Bird in the cage," This song... she whimpered silently as her lips fell open in the faintest of tremors. Her brows furrowing in sorrow as fear slithered into her heart and her eyes began to weep. It was this song again--and yet he continued to chant the lyrics.
"When-- oh when, will it come out?" hands grasping her wrists, he plucked her hands away from him, dragging her shuddering body to the limp girl.
Curled and on her knees before the woman, Kagome panted as her hands clutched to the floor and she began to rock her body.
Listening, she heard his graceful steps approach the woman whom laid unconscious before her, a charming yet cold smile on his lips and an odd glimmer in his crimson eyes. Peering intently to her, he kneeled before Kagome and to the palsied woman he dove his right hand into her rib cage, "...In the night of dawn?"
Flinching Kagome began to sob as her demon prince whom heard her prayers thusly every night. And whom she had dreamed of --so she thought; since beckoning him. Kneeled before her with the woman whose screams were currently hushed by the little green scaly imps hands over her mouth muffling her cries and withered away with her heart torn from her.
The pulsing organ dripping in his hand. Sharp tips of his nails stained with the blood of the victim he once again took before her very eyes.
Blackness captured her.
...
"Ah!" Crying out in a sharp intake of air, Kagome threw open her sheets pulling herself to firmly out of bed. Breath strained with deep puffs, she closed her eyes swallowing saliva to moisten her dry throat.
It was still night, her candles still lit--her floor too was still clean, and her Prince--gone. A nightmare?
Sighing to calm her raging heartbeat, Kagome meandered to her dresser with mirror, and settled down to look at the reflection of herself, which would look so depressingly back to her. Hands combing through her hair-she soon found it difficult to thread through. Her hair wasn't perfect, but it was not so unkempt.
Hands withdrawing, her eyes widened and lips quivered as her nightmare felt to continue--even in consciousness.
Blood-- not her blood she was sure, stained her hands so deeply.
"H-How..."
The wind howled and with her curtains drawn out in the dance of the evening winds, so did the flames flicker out so hastily.
Left in darkness but the silver light of the moon, Kagome gazed to herself numbingly in the mirror.
There, gazing before her, was her demon prince. There-- staring so coldly in nonchalance was her demon blessed by the moon, his hands raised in the same manner as hers. Stained in the same manner as hers-- clutching the heart of a woman whom laid upon her reflected bedroom floor.
Her mind she felt was collapsing! All sanity left her as the beat of drums began mimicking her racing heart.
Hands stained with blood painted her cheeks and her already blood stained lips.
Was this her?
Is ... Is this me! "Is this who I am?" She demanded in a cold silence. The image of her prince mirroring her actions as his hands painted blood upon his porcelain flesh as she did.
What am I?
Who am I!
Her mind was spiraling into an abyss of relapse and realization. She was the demon--she was the killer! All those women she dreamed of.
Flutes eerily crying with the drums beating in passion, children dancing so freely around her in circles whilst singing their song. Prancing around her as she was the one to plunge her hand into their hearts, watching them to die a slow and muffled death. Their hearts torn and devoured. It was not her demon prince-- reality surfaced further to her epiphany. No-- it was her! She killed those women, she devoured their hearts. She became the demon! Their never was a demon!
I can't take this anymore! I am lost! I am--"Who am I!"
"You are Kagome."
Warm and gentle hands rested upon her shoulders. Nails so sharp reaching with a fragile care to pluck the blood matted hair from her cheek to tuck behind her ear with such tenderness.
"No..I am you." She replied with such sorrow, such tiredness in her cracking voice. Knowing that she spoke to nothing but a ghost of her imagination.
"You wished to be free of this average life did you not, Kagome."
Nodding in shame, Kagome closed her eyes as she cried finally. Not from fear but for the first time in realization of what she had become. What her wish truly became in the light of night. Her answers received to why--why she feared the dark so much. Her poor, poor--delicate mind. Had conjured up the fear of darkness to protect her sanity from the truth of what she had truly become. What crimes she had committed. And all in denial of wanting more than an average life.
"Why do you weep Kagome? I have granted you company. Your voice, the only voice to beckon me from my slumber."
He was right. She did call to him every night...
She always wished him a good night, always poured her heart to him to cure her loneliness, always offered to be there and to support him. Never to abandon him...
He had listened to her pleas. As she was the only to worship him as the one capable of bringing her such true happiness.
"Do you wish to be rid of this mundane life, and forever stay by my side, Kagome."
She knew his question--the true meaning of such an inquiry.
This was her chance-- her chance to be free from her cage. Free from the cage that was her average life.
No more would she suffer, no more would those around her suffer.
And so, for the first time, Kagome became selfish. She desired to take the greed on man for herself, just this once...and give in. Give in to the follies of her imagination and let her self be spirited away.
Presenting her last teetering smile of sanity, the young woman closed her eyes and rested her hand so tenderly upon her shoulder, grasping at the demon's hand--her demon princes hand so lovingly.
"Yes."
.....
"Kagome, wake up! It's time to open the shoppe and I won't have you sleeping in!" The firm voice of her father boomed in the warming sun-risen morning.
"Kagome! You better answer me now, " again, persistent knocking carried with the mans firm demands. And the knob turned.
"Kagome! I am n--" silence and wonderment grew on her fathers face. For when he walked in, his daughter was not to be found. He was perfectly sober, he did not have that much to drink he knew. Still, his daughter was not in her bed, nor anywhere in her room. Or the home to be honest.
"Kagome?"
Wandering further in the bedroom, the young womans father stumbled in with a fear induced whimper. Panic slowly filling him as his blood ran cold in the presumption, she had never came home and became instead, a victim to the recent killer.
"What the..."
Brows furrowing, bewilderment grew on the mans staggering features as there nestled upon the bed of his daughter was the strangest thing.
There laying so contently-- he swore was the most beautiful, blue canary in peaceful death. Yet the most odd detail of all-- it's tiny little heart had been ripped from it's chest and a rather rive piece of paper that read:
"Freedom."
Happy Halloween!!!!!