Never Forget by BelovedStranger
Forgive Me
Word Count: 1,500
Prompt: Call
This was the last straw. If Kagome had doubts before about her decision, she no longer did.
“Get up,” she commanded coldly, her anger like ice.
Without waiting for him to react, she surged to her feet, her quick upwards motion planting Sesshomaru’s face against her groin, but she didn’t care. Jerking her hands from his, she stalked away from him, almost knocking him over.
Sesshomaru scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Kagome, what’s wrong?”
She could see his bafflement and confusion at her actions after his heartfelt proposal and it only pissed her off more.
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong!? You! You’re the problem.”
His expression turned wary. “I just asked you to marry me. I don’t see why you would be angry. Do you…do you not wish to marry me?”
He spoke as if the very thought was ridiculous.
“This might come as a surprise to you, but no, I don’t. As if I’d have you for my husband.”
Her sneer instantly put an angered look on his face. “And what, pray tell, is so wrong with me that you would decline? Have I not shown you these past months how much I care, no, how much I love you?”
“Yah, well your love came a little too late, Sesshomaru.”
Think, Kagome! Stop reacting on pure emotion and think! She knew him. If she became ‘irrational’ as he liked to call her bouts of strong emotion—not matter how deserving her reaction was—he would make her feel the bad guy and he the hapless innocent.
Well not this time.
“Listen here—“ began Sesshomaru, scowling at her, but she interrupted him.
“No, you listen!” Doing her best to regain her composure, she forced a wounded look to suffuse her expression, forced her body to relax, her shoulders to drop in a dejected manner. “How could you?” she whispered, producing tears to make her eyes look glassy.
She saw him stiffen at her change of expression, saw his anger evaporate and a contrite look take over.
He took a step towards her, the need to comfort her clear in his honeyed eyes, in his soothing tone.
“Kagome, please, don’t cry.”
He tried to pull her in his arms but she stumbled back, away from him and held up a restraining hand as the first tear fell down her cheek. Her voice wobbled when she spoke, thank God.
“Why do you keep doing this to me? Why do you keep hurting me? What did I ever do to you to deserve this treatment?”
“Kagome, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in confusion.
She shook her head.
“You took my choice, made another decision for me without even consulting me.”
“Again? Speak plainly, love. I’m trying to understand you, I really am, but you speak in riddles.”
“You tried to get me pregnant without even asking me if it was something I wanted.”
Surprise filtered across his face, then guilt. Blustering, he said, “But you said you wanted children.”
“Not right now,” she contradicted. “I may want kids someday, but we never talked about having any together, didn’t sit down to discuss the possibility. You took that away from me by making a huge decision that should have been both of ours.”
He held up his hands defensively at her heated words. “Okay, okay! I understand what I did was probably not well-thought out of me, and I’m sure you’re not pregnant, so don’t worry.”
“You don’t know that!”
Looking at her as if she were the villain, he said stiffly, “I promise never to make a decision without you. Whenever something comes up, I’ll always ask for your permission.”
The gall! How dare he make it sound like he needed to hold her hand for every little thing? Treating her like the one in the wrong?
Regaining control over herself once more, she dropped her gaze and looked away from him, appearing vulnerable and unhappy.
“I can’t do this, Sesshomaru.”
“What do you mean?”
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around her middle, a sob catching in her throat, audibly.
“You always do this,” she whispered in a tortured whisper. “Every time I think you and I are okay, you do something without regards to my feelings.”
“That’s not true,” he defended himself. “I’ve always thought about your feelings. Hell, you’re the most important person in the world to me. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, you know that.”
“And yet, over the years, your actions prove otherwise.” She lifted her eyes to nail him with a gaze full of heartfelt agony, of pain immeasurable. Though she was purposefully trying to pull at his heartstrings, to make him feel guilty, like the lowest piece of scum, she hurt. Memories of his bastardly treatment against her over the years came spilling out of her mouth, her voice full of the pain she had felt for so long but kept hidden.
“How can you say you would never intentionally hurt me when you have over and over again? Have you forgotten all the years you’ve strung me along, made me feel affection and love for you while giving me nothing of your heart in return? You couldn’t even make time for me. You could go days, weeks, months, without attempting to make any kind of contact with me. Even you—in your busy schedule—have time to pick up the phone and call for five minutes or shoot off a text and yet…nothing. You weren’t there for me at my college graduation when you promised you would be, and that is only one instance of you breaking your word to me.
“Then—for three months—you were dating some woman who treated you like crap right after being so loving and caring towards me, flirting with me, leading me to believe you felt something for me. And instead of telling me you were shacking up, you ignored me, treated me like I didn’t matter, a fucking afterthought. You told me you felt guilty for screwing some other woman, so to make you feel better, you badgered me, not too kindly, to take a lover and have sex because I was still a virgin and needed to see what it was like to have a dick inside me.
“And the worst part of it all? I let you get in my head and make me think I was undesirable, that there was something wrong with me to make you discard me so easily, repeatedly. So I had meaningless sex, giving away my virginity to some horny male out of hurt feelings instead of to the man I love as I had always intended.
“I cried afterwards when I realized how stupid I had been and sought you out for comfort. Instead, I learned about your recent ex, the reason behind your insistence I fuck someone else. And you dared to call me later and accuse me of cheating on you, that my virginity was yours to take, and that I was unclean, used goods now that another man took what you thought was yours.
“Of course you soon went back to being lovey dovey with me, but I learned that was all a lie, again, when you brought Rin into the picture.”
Tears were falling like rain down her face, her voice wobbling dangerously.
“Oh God, Kagome.” He came towards her and jerked her into his arms and held her close, stroking the back of her hair, his voice tortured. “Please forgive me. I know that I have treated you abhorrently in the past, but no more. Believe me when I say I want only to make you smile, so please don’t cry. It’s killing me.”
She didn’t fight his embrace while he spoke, but hid her face against his chest, her palms and forearms flat on his bare chest. Now, she leaned back, disengaging from his arms even when he tried to cage her in.
She shook her head and in a hopeless tone of voice, she whispered, “You haven’t changed, Sesshomaru. You’re still making decisions for me, ignoring my feelings.” Then she looked up at him, saw his anguished features as he realized what she was saying. “I don’t believe you’ll ever change.”
That comment seemed to hit him in the gut, for he winced, cringing as if from a blow.
“Forgive me, Sesshomaru, but I can’t marry you. I can’t be with you period, not anymore.”
“What are you saying?” he whispered huskily.
“I’m leaving you. After today, I can’t bear it anymore. Enough is enough.”
“Kagome, please! I can change—“
“I don’t want to see you ever again. Don’t call me, don’t text me. I no longer exist in your world.”
And like that, Kagome witnessed the light leave his eyes, could almost hear his heart shattering at her feet after her last words.
Finally, he understood that the heart was a fragile thing, so easily broken.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the LAST chapter! Mostly because this story was for Stella Mira's Wanna Bet Challange and it has a set amount of prompts/chapters.
If any are confused, yes Kagome dumped Sesshomaru's ass and told him she wished to have no further contact, act like she doesn't exist and she will do like-wise to Sesshomaru.
I hope you all enjoyed this theme in the story since I have never made anything that wasn't connected to romance before. Actually, I never thought I would write anything other than a happy ending for the couple, but lately I've been pissed off at the male populace, so this story was born. No one male or female likes to be strung along.