Never Forget by BelovedStranger
Seed of Doubt
Word Count: 1,500
Prompt: Place your bets
Two months later…
Ever since Sesshomaru had admitted to having feelings of love for Rin, Kagome had felt dismay, smite, and bitterness, but underlying everything was a sense of utter loss. He had never before, in all the years that she had known him, admitted to such feelings for another, aside from her.
It rankled.
He claimed to love her first, and yet had done nothing to make her his, and now some other girl held sway over his heart—a heart that should’ve rightly been hers!
She couldn’t understand. This whole situation didn’t make sense. He didn’t make sense! Though she knew him so well, at times like this, she thought she knew him not at all.
More than once, she dismally thought perhaps she had never known the real Sesshomaru, because he kept part of himself from her, but that wasn’t her fault. For years she had tried to get closer to him. It was he who pushed her away at every turn.
How was he capable of keeping her close yet at arm’s length all at the same time?
And still she had found no opening to sever the happy couple apart.
Frustrating!
And yet, getting to know Rin as she did, Kagome felt…bad for trying to tear them apart, for she truly did like the overly girly woman. Though conflicted, Kagome had no intention of being swayed from her course. She could always stay friends with Rin even when—not if—her relationship ended.
Admittedly, his new relationship had only begun four months ago, so the newness had yet to wear off. She had to be patient, bid her time until opportunity came calling, and she never doubted that it would.
Finally, her dastardly wish arrived in the form of a very upset Rin, who sat beside her on her sofa, toying with her diet coke. They had scheduled to watch a chick-flick and consume buttered popcorn tonight, but Rin had called and confessed to being too upset to come over.
Sensing friction between Rin and Sesshomaru, Kagome convinced the other woman to come to her place anyway, saying a little girl time would help, and Rin agreed.
Feeling impatient—almost giddy—to learn what was the problem, Kagome said, “You seem upset, Rin.”
“I am,” Rin admitted. “It’s just, Sesshomaru makes me so mad sometimes!”
Feigning surprise, Kagome said, “What a coincidence, I’m pissed at him to. Want to talk about it?”
Rin shrugged. “Not really. Just another broken promise, is all. What about you? Why are you angry with him?”
Kagome knew Rin was hesitant to speak badly of Sesshomaru. Knowledgeable in Sesshomaru’s ways, she knew instinctively he was falling back into old habits, and though she figured his natural selfish tendencies would ruin his relationship without her help, she wanted it over already.
Knowing just how to manipulate this conversation, Kagome exaggerated a rough exhale of irritation. “The same, truthfully. Don’t get me wrong. I love Sesshomaru like a brother, but it angers me how he can act so sincere when he makes a promise yet breaks them so carelessly. And he dares get angry at us for being upset!”
Kagome stifled a twinge of guilt after speaking, knowing she was only hurting Rin more. She was innocent in this hidden vendetta she had against Sesshomaru.
“I know! It pisses me off. I’m his girlfriend, yet he treats me like crap, more times than I can count.”
How well I understand, Kagome thought, sympathetically.
And like that, Rin opened up to her like never before.
“He promises to share my lunch break with me, wanting to take me out to eat, but then he tells me he can’t make it. Or when he says he’ll make time for me in his busy schedule as if I’m nothing but an afterthought! He’s such a jerk!”
Gazing at Rin with sympathy, Kagome said, “I hear yeah, girl. Truthfully, though I hate to speak badly about your boyfriend…” she pretended to hesitate, continuing her manipulation, but her conflicted expression was real.
As hoped, Rin encouraged her to continue by saying, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell him you said anything, now spill.”
Offering a small smile of gratitude, Kagome said, “Sesshomaru’s always had trouble keeping his word. He has this horrible tendency to think that not every promise matters, that it’s okay to break the small ones. Or at least what he thinks are small.” Almost as an afterthought, Kagome added, “Though he has been known to break his word for the important stuff, too. Don’t tell him I told you this, but when I graduated from college with my nursing degree, he promised to be there for my big day, and he never showed! Never called to cancel or send word of any kind. That hurt a lot, especially when I later found out he was too busy fucking some bimbo.”
“That bastard!” gasped Rin with sympathetic eyes.
Turning her head to the side, feigning hurt feelings, Kagome shrugged. “It was a while ago.” Then she turned a concerned look on Rin. “I had thought he would treat you better since he obviously loves you, but, I’m sorry to say, you can’t always rely on Sesshomaru. His wants come before anyone else’s.”
Kagome saw Rin choke back tears and felt ashamed for being the one to cause that expression. Then Rin admitted with a catch to her voice, “His parents don’t even know about me—us. I just found that out today.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Kagome murmured, reaching out to put a comforting hand on Rin’s shoulder.
“He said his mother wouldn’t approve, and that his father would be disappointed if he knew Sesshomaru was with his secretary,” cried Rin, tears flowing down her cheeks.
Rin’s obvious pain affected Kagome, made her feel true remorse for the young woman.
As she drew Rin into her arms, and stroked her hair soothingly, murmuring nonsense in her ear, Kagome felt protective of her, wanting nothing more than to ease some of her pain. Kagome also felt a new determination. She not only wanted to separate this couple for her own selfish, vindictive agenda, but to free this girl from a relationship that was obviously causing her much misery.
Long minutes later with Rin’s cries filling the silent apartment, the woman finally lifted her wet, tearstained face to look up at Kagome with a sorrowful expression.
“What should I do? I can’t take much more of this. It hurts too much.”
Leaning down to grab a napkin from the coffee table, Kagome wiped the tears from Rin’s face in a tender gesture, not just because she cared for her, but to manipulate Rin’s emotions, to make the woman feel a closeness between them, binding them together. Kagome hoped this bond would prove stronger than the one Rin shared with Sesshomaru.
Kagome knew that every word, every gesture—no matter how small—impacted another, and she needed Rin to think of her as her most dearest friend.
Her manipulations were beginning to sicken her.
“Do you love him?”
“Oh, yes!”
“Then you must bear it,” began Kagome, once again hugging Rin, and the woman sank into her embrace readily. “Because Sesshomaru will never change. I’ve known him for years, and he’s never compromised, never changed how he acts, but expects everyone around him to do what he says.”
“I can’t live like that!”
Forcing Rin to meet her gaze, Kagome told her gravely, “Then you understand that love isn’t always enough?”
Rin’s lower lip wobbled, but she nodded her head. “Yes.”
To make sure she truly understood, Kagome reiterated, “I’m sorry if my words are cruel, Rin, but I doubt Sesshomaru will change, and he will only continue to hurt you should you stay with him.”
“You mean I should leave him?”
“Only if that’s what you want.”
The next day, Sesshomaru called, upset.
“I think I fucked up again,” he growled.
Having a guess at what he was referring too, Kagome, however, played dumb. “Oh? What did you do this time, Sesshomaru?”
She heard a rough exhalation on the other end of the line. “Rin and I had a fight. Basically, she doesn’t think I’m there for her enough, that my word means nothing, and that I don’t actually care about her since I continue to hurt her feelings.”
“Oh, Sesshomaru…” Kagome said with a sigh.
“How can she say that when I obviously love her so much?!” he exclaimed roughly, and Kagome hated the emotion she heard in his voice, for it signified that he meant what he was saying.
His heart was no longer hers alone and that hurt.
“I’m so sorry, Sesshomaru. I wish I knew how to help you. I hate that you are sad and upset,” she said with false sympathy. “What are you going to do?”
Another sigh from Sesshomaru. “She gave me one more chance to prove myself.”
Almost three weeks later, Sesshomaru called again.
“She broke up with me.”