Never Forget by BelovedStranger
Double Standards
Word Count: 1,500
Prompt: Fold
Two months later…
Kagome froze beside the man who lounged next to her, eyes wide, lips parted, unable to hide the shock his words had on her.
“What did you say?” she whispered.
Without looking at her, his amber eyes fixated on the glass of wine he held in one hand with a faraway expression.
“I love her.”
At that moment, Kagome found it hard to breathe, her gut tightening as if she had just taken a sucker punch to the stomach. She couldn’t speak for long seconds, had to turn away as she forced herself to school her expression. She took a fortifying drink from her own glass.
It wasn’t enough.
Her nerves fried, she leaned forward to pick up her pack of small cigars from the coffee table, and snatched one out of the pack as she spoke.
“Are you sure? You hardly know her. I don’t want you to jump into anything, Sesshomaru. I would hate to see you hurt, or—God forbid—Rin. I like her. We’ve become close friends.”
She almost scowled when she said that last bit, for though they got along surprisingly well, and Kagome couldn’t help but like Rin, the woman hardly ever spoke of her relationship with Sesshomaru even though she had admitted—without going into detail—that she was unhappy sometimes.
Kagome clearly wasn’t making enough strides to become Rin’s confidant. What was she doing wrong?!
Sesshomaru chuckled. “You’re always worrying about me, always been there for me, Kagome; that’s why I trust you and you alone so implacably.”
Such words coming from him would have made the old Kagome giddy with happiness. Now, they only left bitter regret for a future that had been nothing more than a young girl’s fantasy.
Putting the filter to her mouth, Kagome lit her zippo to light her new vice, for she had only started smoking when Rin came into the picture, but Sesshomaru plucked the unlit cigar from her lips.
“Hey! Give that back.”
Sesshomaru scowled at her.
“I don’t know why you smoke these. They aren’t good for you. You know how much I hate smokers.”
She knew he was concerned for her health when she started the nasty habit, but she also knew Sesshomaru. If she ever did anything he disliked, he told her, and expected her to obey his decree.
Well, not this time.
“Keep it. I have plenty more,” she said nonchalantly, reaching for another, but Sesshomaru got there first, withholding her pack of smokes. His highhandedness made her grit her teeth in suppressed anger.
Huffing, she lunged for her pack, but he held his hand out of reach. Undaunted, she scrambled atop his lap and yanked the pack from him. She smiled down at him victoriously, but then her smile faltered when he wrapped an arm around her waist, pinning her lower body against his lean abdomen.
At her hesitation, he reclaimed her pack, lifted his hips—and because she straddled him—rubbed his crotch against her sex as he stuffed his prize into his back pocket.
A familiar, heated look entered his eyes as he settled back on the couch.
Swallowing hard, Kagome forced a cocky grin. “Do you really think putting that in your back pocket will keep me from digging for it?”
A sexy grin split his lips, making her melt. “Feel free to try, but I am much heavier than you, so I doubt you can get to them while I am sitting on them.”
She glared at him, silently conceding that he was right. Angered anew, she growled, “Why does it matter anyway if I smoke or not? I make sure the smoke never filters towards you!”
“I can still smell them, and I hate when you smell like an ashtray. I bet you’d taste like nicotine if I were to kiss you.” He grimaced.
Fuming, she said, “So? It’s not like you’re gonna be kissing me anyway.”
“Hn.”
Leveling him with a contemplative stare, Kagome evaluated their situation. She was straddling his lap, their clothing the only thing separating his cock from her core, and his arm stayed firmly around her hips.
For the last two months, Kagome had made sure that Sesshomaru remembered his attraction for her by saying provocative things when they were alone, touching him suggestively, and he had always responded. How can he say he loved Rin when he so easily cheated on the woman? Sesshomaru may not actually have sex with her, but what they had done—what they were doing now—was still considered cheating.
She had hoped to prove a point to herself and him that though he was fucking another, he still wanted her. Yet still he would not have sex with her. What was wrong with her that he would continue to deny his attraction? Like now, he was hard and ready beneath his dress slacks, but he made no attempt to take what she would—even now—freely offer.
Maddening.
Her actions may seem whorish, but she bloody didn’t care! He was hers, and she was his, and sooner or later, she was going to make him understand that.
Trying to push him for further intimacies, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her bosom against his chest.
“I’ll make a deal with you,” she purred and saw his eyes light up with interest. “I won’t smoke if you kiss me. Since you don’t like the taste of nicotine, I’ll never light up when you are around, but only if you kiss me, like you need to right now, every time we are alone together.”
His gaze lowered to her lips, and she would be a liar if she said she didn’t yearn for his kiss, to feel his firm mouth against hers, his tongue delving deep, devouring her. Though aroused by this man she hated, she still loved him, and her conflicting emotions sparked her ire.
Why did she still love him?! Why did she never react to another man, thusly? It wasn’t fair!
“You want me even though I am in a relationship? I thought you said you couldn’t stand cheaters. What’s changed?”
Why did he insist on talking when they both wanted, needed this?
To tempt him further, she gently rocked her jean clad core against his engorged erection, felt him become harder. She felt feminine satisfaction to cause such a reaction from him, that he desired her.
“Because you were mine first. It’s different between us. Can you deny it?”
His hand clenched in her hair, pulling her closer until their breaths mixed.
“You are mine, Kagome. You have always—will always—be mine.”
Then he pulled her down and crashed her mouth against his, parting her lips with his and delved his tongue inside, and she met his ardor with her own. His kiss was aggressive with desire, hers with pent up frustration and anger that he dared call her his, while giving nothing of himself in return.
His free hand clasped her hip, grinding her sex more strongly against his erection, driving her wild with lust.
It was because she loved him still, so much in fact, that she willingly accepted anything he would offer her. Afterwards, she would feel pathetic, viewing her actions of those of a slut, and she’d hate herself, would blame him, hate him all the more.
He broke the kiss.
So soon? she wondered, dazed.
“Say it,” he demanded, his voice rough with lust, panting for breath.
“What?” she asked, not comprehending, meeting his heated gaze with her own.
“Say you’re mine, only mine.”
Kagome hesitated, not wishing to say the words, so she compromised.
“As you are mine.”
He groaned and kissed her chastely, fiercely before pulling back again.
“Don’t mistake me. I may be with Rin, but that doesn’t mean you can be with another man. No one but I can have you. No one takes what is rightfully mine.”
He tried to kiss her again, but fury had her pulling back, struggling against him. She turned her face away, his lips falling to her cheek, and she pushed against his chest, trying to get off him, away from him.
“Let me go!”
He tightened his arms around her waist and back, keeping her pinned against him.
“Kagome—“
“I said, let go, dammit!”
Finally, he did, and she scrambled away, standing a few steps away from him, while she glared daggers at his confused, lust filled gaze.
“How dare you,” she whispered furiously. “So it’s alright for you to fuck whoever, but I’m not allowed to? That’s double standards!”
“That’s not what I meant—“
She interrupted him again. “Then what did you mean?”
Instead of answering, he rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from her. “I should leave. I have to get back to the office, anyway.”
“Sesshomaru!” she called as he stood, picked up his coat, and strode out of her apartment without a backwards glance.
Kagome’s resentment for him grew.