The Demented Duo's Twas the Night Before Christmas by Ikaru
Twas the Night Before Christmas...
Diclaimer: We don’t own Inuyasha or the poem ‘Twas the night before Christmas’…Glares at lawyers who nod approvingly before running away from rabid DOD.
Brought to you for the pleasure of my beloved twin, my corrupted version of ‘Twas the Night before Christmas.’
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Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the opossum that slept in the blouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that come morning there would be stuff to share.
The smuttlings were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of naked people danced in their heads.
And Duchess in her corset and I clad in leather,
Had just settled down to share some fudge together.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
We sprang from our chocolate to see what the hell was the matter.
Away to the window tripping on the unseen,
We pulled down the curtains and tore out the screen.
The full moons glow on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the luster of midday to objects below.
When what to our wandering eyes should appear,
But a big ass dog gliding through the air!
His silvery fur glittered just like the starlight,
We knew in a moment it had to be Sesshoumaru flying in the moonlight.
More rapid than an eagle in his course he flew,
He was silent as death and just came out of the blue.
We stood and watched as he came into town,
Wondering what the hell was up with this hound.
To the top of the porches, to the top of the walls
All around town he bound, not forgetting to bend all the awls.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When he met with an obstacle, he would mount to the sky.
So up to our house-top he landed without further adieu,
As for his purpose this night, to hell if we knew.
We heard the roof creak and the owls in our attic began their hoots,
And slowly the sounds of his paws turned to boots.
As we drew in our heads and were turning around,
Sesshoumaru suddenly came down the chimney with a bound.
He was dressed all in white, from his head to his foot,
Yet on his clothes not a trace of ashes or soot.
His pristine white hair running down his back,
He looked all aloof and in need of a good smack.
His eyes how they twinkled, all golden and shining with pride!
His cheeks were all rosy from the cold outside, just like a blushing bride!
His mouth drawn in a line as he surveyed all the doors,
Our jaws hit the ground as he began sniffing around on all fours!
We stood there shaking trying to contain our laughter,
It was just unheard of for a Lord to act in such a manner!
We quickly came up with a plan or two,
Santa had got our letter! Our wish had come true!
He was trim and fit, a sexy ass beast, with cute pointy ears just like Santa’s elves,
We drooled when we saw him in spite of ourselves!
His fur stood on end and fear shone in his eyes,
The moment we came up upon him like the best of spies.
He said not a word, just made a break for the chimney,
But it was pointless to run; we had him pinned in a jiffy.
He struggled and fought, gave a right jolly good fight,
A wink to my twin and we had him hog tied just right.
A whistle was heard above all the chatter,
We sprang to the window to see what had just made a patter.
There for the world to see was Santa Clause himself,
We waved and shouted our thanks to the jolly old elf,
Then we heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
We left the window and pulled our gift from the smuttlings out of the gutter.
When she saw Sesshoumaru her eyes went wide and she began to stutter.
Our little Kagome was all hot and horny,
Sesshoumaru’s eyes quickly turned all red and stormy.
His lustful growls left no doubt about his intentions much to our delight,
Oh we knew we were going to enjoy the show this night! >:D
Merry Christmas!