Silent Night by mandy
Too real to be true
Disclaimer: Firstly I don't own inuyasha, I just enjoy playing with the characters. Secondly, I don't own that youtube vidoe or music in it.
Author's note: Yes, another one. I saw that my fourth chapter on my last one-shot series didnt load and I tried loading it again but my computer crashed. I lost everything. To lighten my mood, I have instead worked on this beautiful peice of art to honor the holidays! I would like everyone to know that this is a dedication peice to everyone who has lost a loved one this chirstmas and any christmas before this. A hand full of friends of mine have all lost someone very dear to them recently. I pray God's comfort on you all. And for those that don't want it, I only hope that peace be in and all around you.
http://youtu.be/c9PgWmb2JD0 ~ This is the song that inspired this story. If you like music while you read, here's a great one.
Too Real To Be True
10…
The number was of lasting importance to her. Ten years of love, ten hours of talking, ten minutes of meeting, ten seconds till despair. Her hands shook and the warm cup of coffee she had been drinking danced in its confines precariously.
Why?
The question haunted her with every breath she took, every step she made, with every damn thought that fleetingly sprinted across her tired mind. An endless torture created and cultivated by herself.
Dammit! Why!?
A burst of rage possessed her as she stood from her single person dark leather rocker, spilling her spiked coffee across the floor, and raced for the kitchen. In the recesses of her psyche, she noticed her feet were slower to obey her unspoken commands and her head spun from the extra exertion she was using in her angry sprint, but it wouldn’t stop her. Nothing would stop her.
Heavily panting, she stumbled across the threshold her eyes wildly searching, desperate.
She knew it was here.
Her slender form staggered left, grabbing the granite counter for support, before inching through the darkness. Fingers acted as her guide as she went, harshly grasping and tossing aside everything that wasn’t her something.
Frantic. So very taken with hopelessness, maddeningly lost, she searched. Half praying she would find what she needed to see and half dreading the very site of it.
A burning hatred flared higher with every tick of the clock. Something too sinister for her to even consider, but in her drunken haze she wasn’t able to comprehend that it was only the intensity of her sorrow. A black hole of grief she covered with a mask of anger just to continue moving.
She had to find it.
Her hands messily collided with the only chorded phone in the house and in relief she sagged.
It was here.
Her eyes connected with the bright manila envelope in her hands and a heavy ball of fear settled deep in her.
What was she going to do with it?
Her left hand clenched as another wave of uncontrollable emotions threatened to carry her off.
Could she burn it and destroy its reality?
Her feet began shifting unconsciously to the doorway back to her living room.
Would everything return to its original way of things if she did? Could she escape this abysmal dream if she disposed of the evidence?
Her feet made to take a step and a soft laugh leaked out of her white lips.
It had to be a dream! How could this possible happen to HIM?! He was indestructible!
A louder laugh tumbled from her as her mind continued chew over the situation.
He didn’t get sick! He didn’t suffer human illnesses! He was the LORD of all DEMONS for goodness sakes! To even ponder the possibility of all mighty manliness stricken with disease had her bent in the knees and holding her stomach from cackling so intensely.
It couldn’t be real. His honor wouldn’t allow him! He promised her he would stay with her forever. That he would stand the weight of time with her!
Her laughing dimmed to mere chuckles and she glanced once more to her hands half expecting the envelope to be gone in her senseless state. But it wasn’t. Instead she found she could now clearly read the printed name across the front.
“Sesshomaru Tashio”
A bitterly chocked sob fell from her mouth as she crumbled to the floor, resigned in the darkness.
It was here.
The snarky cynicism of her thoughts echoed the silence like a blaring horn, and her chest ached like nothing she’d ever felt before.
Maybe she would die. The thought pleased her more than it should.
She paused, her breaths coming in choppy gasps as she tried to pull herself back together, attempting to tame her emotional monster, her fear. And with it came certainty.
It was….
“Real.”
The word slipped from her mouth like a curse. Certainly this had to be one. Her head thundered with a beat that felt too genuine. And her mouth dryly opened in a silent prayer as she turned her head to the ceiling, partly to dissuade her tears from falling and partly to beg any deity listening to let this be a horrible dream.
The ticking of the clock was loud, the stone floor was cold, and the darkness no longer sheltered her vision from the chaos she had left behind her.
It was real… and she had no more time.
A gasping howl tore from her throat and unable to even remain upright, she fell prostrate on the ground. Her back arched and her mouth opened in a silent scream, the drops of her tears loud against the manila envelope before her.
WHY GOD!?
Her fists clenched around the large packet and powerless to contain her desolation, she threw it as far away from her as possible, scattering papers all around her as it flew.
“Why?”
Her darkly whispered question oozed grief and pain. This was true agony. And yet, only silence was her answer.
She lay on the floor for five more minutes, before weakly picking herself up and stumbling out to the living room once more, a single sheet from the envelope tightly clasped in her cold clammy hands.
She had to try. Just this once, just today, this Christmas Eve, she had to try.
She approached the fire with intentions. There was no going back.
Her dark, misery stricken eyes first glanced to the pictures that decorated her glowing garlanded mantle. Blue and gold, Black and silver, complete opposites and yet, he was her anchor. The only person left she loved. The rush of emotions was too much for her as a deep throbbing ache lodged itself in her throat. She couldn’t do this. Her hands trembled uncontrollably and a burning inferno settled behind her eyes and nose.
Who had the strength to do this?!
The sheet dropped to the ground and she pulled both hands to her face to hide her weakness.
The dong’ing of the grandfather clock to her left let her know she had no more time. And with a pivot she moved to the stairs. A glowing Christmas tree left on and paper forgotten. It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered. It was Christmas day and he was leaving.
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Chapter two is coming soon. Hopefully tonight, if not sometime tomorrow.