Bagged by Luna C.

Bagged

A/N:  Just a humorous one-shot, I hope everyone enjoys it! Also bagged in slang means to hook up, just in case anybody was wondering lol. I went over this story before posting, but I could have missed some mistakes, so I apologize in advance.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

Bagged

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” whimpered Kagome.

Inuyasha gave her a slanted glare, merely huffing when she stared back at him with a pathetic look on her face. Those puppy-dog eyes were not going to work on him today.

“I was like this the first time I’ve done it, but lemme tell you, it’s really fun.”

“This is considered immoral!” She harshly whispered, peeking her head out from behind the corner, looking very much like a fugitive. “I can’t believe you made me do this.”

“I made you?” Inuyasha growled at her. “I asked you if you wanted to and you said yes, so don’t blame me!”

“I wasn’t paying attention to what you were talking about! If I knew it was gonna be this, I would have said no.”

“Keh, doubtful.” Inuyasha murmured, quietly enough that Kagome couldn’t hear.

“Kami, that’s a lot of people…” Kagome trailed off, her hands fist the silky fabric of her light peach dress.

“Okay here’s the plan—”

“Our plan is to go home.” Kagome firmly interrupted, glaring at him.

Inuyasha stared for a second, his hazel eyes blinking with confusion. He then snickered before patting her head like she was a dog, which she shook off. “Very funny, but no. We came here together in my car and if you think I’m backing down, you’re outta your mind.”

“I don’t want to do this!”

“Then walk home if you’re that desperate to leave.” He casually said, knowing Kagome wouldn’t go anywhere.

“I’m not walking home, you’re taking me home.”

“Well I’m glad you made your decision to stay.” Inuyasha gave her a sneaky grin, clearly enjoying the fact he just one-upped her.

Kagome huffed, not finding his little comeback very clever or funny. She wasn’t going to admit that he had her.

“Anyways… here’s the plan, we go in, we mingle and if people start asking how you know the bride just say that you’re the fifth cousin of the second cousin of the bride, that should confused them plenty.” he gave another snicker.

“You probably don’t know what that means.” Kagome said blandly.

“Nope, and none of these assholes would know neither.” He cleared his throat before continuing with his little plan that benefited more for Kagome than for him. “We’re just gonna have fun, we eat till we barf, drink till we can’t stand straight and dance until our feet fall off; it’ll be just like a club except there’s food.”

“I don’t wanna do none of that!”

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders. “Well you could stay out here if you want, that’s not gonna hold me back from my fun.”

Kagome’s eye twitched, wondering with profound puzzlement how Inuyasha could be winning a damn argument. She looked up, intently staring at the blue sky. The sky’s not falling, I wonder if hell has frozen over.

Inuyasha paid her no mind, merely fixing his bow-tie. “Well I’ll see you later.” He began walking out from behind the building, until Kagome grabbed his sleeve and forcefully—some unknown strength overcame her—yanked him back. “Stop it, this is a rental!”

Kagome didn’t find waiting outside for god knows how long for Inuyasha to take her home very appealing. “I don’t know if I could do this, what if I mess up?”

“If you mess up, you’re on your own.” Inuyasha’s response didn’t help at all and he winced when she vigorously pulled his hair. “Ow damnit! Fine, fine! If you mess up, leave while screaming a code phrase.”

“What would that be?”

“The hotdog inside the donut.” He had to fight off the amused smirk. Poor Kagome, she looked utterly lost.

“That sounds sexual.” Okay, maybe not that lost.

“Fine, scream tacos are good and I‘ll leave what I‘m doing a couple minutes afterwards, don‘t want them to know we‘re together.”

Kagome‘s eyes grew wide, “Wait, I’m doing this by myself?”

“Uh yeah, I’m not about to baby-sit you. I want to get a laid like every other guy in there and I can’t do that if you’re hounding me, you’ll scare them off.”

Kagome still couldn’t understand it, she just felt an intense dread coming over her.

“Look, if it makes you feel better, I’ll say we’re siblings but you’re adopted, okay?”

“That doesn’t make me feel better at all…” She mumbled miserably, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

He ignored her misery. “Anyways don’t get caught too soon, I’m good but not that good, I need time getting a woman.”

“Can you be anymore selfish, I’m worried about me and how I’m gonna do and you’re just concerned with yourself and the next vagina that biologically says ‘ding come inside me’. What if they run me down?”

“That’s not gonna happen, it’s the twenty-first century, they’ll just tell you to leave.”

“I find this to be very juvenile, I think we shouldn’t do this.”

Inuyasha grumbled, knowing they would be talking in circles if he continues standing here. “Look, I’m going inside now, I don’t want my suit smelling bad.”

“It smells bad enough after you sprayed nearly half a bottle of cologne on yourself.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “’Cause I knew I would be standing out here arguing with you and you’re indecisiveness.”

“Wow, I never knew you would know a word like that.” Kagome sarcastically retorted. She sighed when Inuyasha gave her a glare. “Fine, we’ll do this.”

Inuyasha gave her an arrogant smirk. “I’m glad you saw things my way.”

“Don’t get it in your head now, I don’t feel like standing out here waiting for you and I’m sure I was gonna get hungry sooner or later.”

She pulled out a compact mirror and a tube of lipstick from her clutch, dabbing a bit of color to her pale lips. Kagome pulled at the top of her floor-length tube dress, already hating the tight garment. “I can’t believe we’re about to crash a wedding.” She mumbled to herself. “How do I smell?”

“Fruity.”

Kagome nodded, she only sprayed a little bit around her neck, because unlike Inuyasha, she didn’t want to overload anybody’s sense of smell. “Let’s do this.” She made a move to grab Inuyasha’s arm, only to have him jerk it out of her grasp. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want you to hold my arm, it sends people the wrong message that I don’t feel like correcting repeatedly the entire night.”

Kagome pouted and walked out, letting Inuyasha sigh loudly before following her. From what she could tell, the wedding was more western than tradition dictates with a priest of Christianity standing outside greeting the guests.

They returned his greeting and headed up the steps towards the church. Kagome felt her heart was beating like a drum, increasing its speed with each step. She stood in front of the door, silently hyperventilating. Only a shove from Inuyasha made her move and she nearly tripped over her dress; fortunately for Inuyasha, it didn’t tear.   

“Okay, the ceremony starts in fifteen minutes, I’mma get some snacks.”

“Let me come with you.” Kagome whispered harshly at him, her eyes daring him to say no.

“Fine, just don’t walk too close to me, I don’t want you literally on my ass.” He grumbled, pushing past several people.

Kagome stood behind him, apologizing along the way. She nearly wanted to chuck her purse at him for being rude. She could tell everybody’s eyes were on them, it didn’t help her nerves at all.

“Inuyasha, they’re staring at us.”

His shoulder came up, trying to block her whispering. “Stop whispering to me in my ear and let go!” He shot a glare at the hand that was tightly fist around his jacket.

“Our cover is blown, we need to leave now.”

“How? Unless you did something suspicious.” Inuyasha’s voice was tinted with accusations.

Her brows furrowed together, her eyes glaring at him. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Then shut up, I’m not leaving.” Inuyasha grabbed an pastel-colored petit four from a tray a waiter was carrying and shove the cubed treat inside her gaping mouth.  

“But everyone’s staring at us!” She said after swallowing.

“Then stop acting like a crazy female, they’re staring at you.” Inuyasha wanted to yell at her, but he didn’t want to be grouped with her as a crazy person, even though that was the case unfortunately since she was grabbing his suit tightly, nearly wrinkling it. “Go somewhere, I’m busy.” He stuffed a treat in his mouth, before taking the entire tray with him.

“I’m not leaving, I’ll have nothing to do for the next—” She glanced down at her watch to check the time, “ten minutes.”

“Well you could sit down and wait.”

He wished the girl could stop pouting, but Kagome did just that. “What if someone comes up to me and starts talking to me?”

“Talk back duh. Stop being so damn helpless.”

“I wouldn’t know what to say.”

Inuyasha eyebrow twitched as Kagome refused to let the matter drop. Why do girls have to make things difficult, she just needed sit in the pews and wait for the ceremony to start, was that so hard for her to understand?

“What if they say something that I can’t answer?”

“Then lie, it’s not hard.”

She huffed, crossing her arms. “That’s easier said than done, you’re a master at lying.”

He shook his head, he was beginning to wonder if it was a good idea to bring Kagome along, all she have been doing was nag, nag, and nag. “How is that so hard?”

“I’m not good at lying, Inuyasha… you know that.” She said with exasperation.

“Yeah I know.” He grumbled, remembering all the time she snitched on him when they were kids. And that annoying habit still continued to this day. “Look Kagome, calm down ‘cause this ain’t even serious, you’re getting worked up for nothing and it’s getting on my damn nerves.”

She gave a quick glance around, noticing that everybody was concentrating in their own conversations before fiercely whispering to the thick-headed male besides her. “It is serious, we are crashing a wedding just because you were bored!”

“No one said you had to come!”

“You know what, I’m not gonna argue with you, it would just go in circles.” With that, Kagome walked towards the doors that led to the actual area where the wedding was to be held.

Inuyasha heaved a sigh of relief, glad that she left.

“Your wife nagging at you?”

His eyebrow twitched fiercely. The one thing he didn’t want to happen just happened. And it was all Kagome’s fault.

“Nah, that’s my adopted sister, she forgot to take her meds before coming. She’s bipolar.”

------

Kagome waited patiently, or impatiently since she was tapping her foot against the carpeted floor as time seemed to tick by slowly. Not that it helped when she kept glancing at her watch every five seconds, hoping Inuyasha would come already.

“Hello.” Came a subtle voice from beside her, causing her to nearly jump. “Who must you be?”

Kagome mouth’s fell open, gaping at the older woman who was standing on the aisle. “I-I’m Kagome.”

“Ah, are you here for the bride or groom?”

She gulped before answering, willing her mouth to work as she prepared to say her lie. “The bride.” There, she has done it, she lied to a old woman and now she felt horrible.

“I haven’t seen you before, but most of these youngsters find friends as if they are candy.” The elderly woman chuckled, patting Kagome on the arm. “You enjoy the ceremony now.”

Kagome nodded, her mouth feeling like acid after that horrible lie escaped her lips.

“So what did I miss?” Inuyasha dropped next to her, leaning back on the seat and stretched. Kagome jumped, not noticing the male returning.

“Nothing, I think the bride’s grandma was talking to me.”

Inuyasha stared at her, his face suspiciously blank. “That could be bad.”

“What do you mean? You told me to talk!” Inuyasha was driving her crazy, and he should have said something about talking to relatives before she did something like this.

“I’m just pulling your leg.” He gave a small laugh, rubbing his arm when Kagome punched it.

The room slowly started filling and after a couple minutes of everybody finding seats, the familiar sound of the organ playing the wedding song rang out. The priest stood near the altar, hands folded over the bible. The groomsmen entered first, followed by the best man and then the groom himself entered with his parents, standing near the older man as he faced towards the double door.

One by one, the bridesmaids and the maid of honor entered after the flower girl sparkled rose petals on the aisle. Then the bride herself appeared on the arm of her father, the same gentleman that was talking to Inuyasha earlier.

Everyone sat once again when the bride stood before the priest and her husband-to-be.

“Dearly beloved, we gather here today in front of God and in the face of this company to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony—”

A elbow jabbed her gently in her side. “Hey, wake me up when it’s over.” Inuyasha whispered to her.

“That’s just rude.”

“I don’t care, I want my energy when the reception starts.” He had a smirk on his face, but that soon disappeared when he leaned over her. Something caught his attention. “Oh hell no, what is he doing here?”

Kagome peered towards the direction Inuyasha was glaring at. “Who?”

“That bastard is here.” A scowl came on his face, he turned away and stared at front.

“This is a church, stop saying such crude words.” An elderly man scolded Inuyasha for his language, not that his words would do much or make an impact on the younger male to stop his cursing.  

“Who are you talking about Inuyasha?” She whispered.

Inuyasha growled out his answer. “Sesshomaru’s here.”

“Why is your brother here?” Kagome asked. She was curious, even though she never met Inuyasha’s older brother in all the time she have known the grouchy male besides her—not that she wanted to know him after all the stories Inuyasha has told her—it was weird to know that he was there. Did he know the bride or the groom?

“I can’t let him see me.” Inuyasha leaned back, aligning his body with hers.

Kagome was annoyed, especially when he tried to move her head in a position that blocked his partially, not that it would help. “What is he gonna do?”

“Try to ruin everything, that cold-hearted bastard.”

“Does that mean we could leave?” Kagome asked, hopeful and praying that with this new development, they could finally go home.

Inuyasha gave her a pointed look and scoffed the next second. “Hell no, I just need to avoid him and then I’ll be good and dandy with a broad.”

Kagome shook her head and leaned back, not caring that Inuyasha was in plain view again. “Men… you all are disgusting pigs.”

“—You may now kiss the bride.”

A round of applause rang through the room and each person stood as the couple walked down the aisle towards the other part of the large church. Kagome couldn’t help the few tears that were shed, finding the entire ceremony beautiful despite the fact most of it was spent talking to Inuyasha. She wiped them away, careful not to smear her makeup.

“C’mon, the real party is about to start.” Inuyasha grabbed the forearms of Kagome, placing her in front of him as a shield as the crowd followed the newlyweds.

“Didn’t you say something about me being close to you?” She smartly said, wanting to glare at the male behind her. She didn’t though since they were walking close and a second of inattention could cause her to trip and fall on her face.

“Keh, whatever, this is the only exception.” Inuyasha gruffly defended himself.

“Inuyasha.” A very handsome man with long obsidian hair, neatly tied back, stepped in front of them, a cool smirk on his face.

Kagome could feel the male behind her tense, the grip on her arms tightening a bit, not to the point where it would hurt, but it let her know something was wrong.

“Who would have guessed you would be here.” His deep, velvety voice caressed her senses, making her feel very gooey.  

“Sesshomaru.” Inuyasha growled out.

Sure Inuyasha was cute, but if this was his brother, well she was glad Inuyasha was holding her up or else she would have fallen since her knees suddenly felt weak.

“You don’t know the bride or groom, so what can you possibly be doing here? Wedding crashing?”

Inuyasha looked around, noticing a few lingering stares. “That’s none of your damn business!”

Sesshomaru’s eyes gave her a once-over causing her to tense up. “And you foolishly dragged somebody into your shenanigans, typical.”

“Trust me, I didn’t want to come.” Kagome mumbled, fighting a blush when he sent her an amused glance.

“So narrow-minded, you didn’t need to attend the actual ceremony.”

Inuyasha face turned red. “I only came for Kagome’s benefit, she never went to a wedding before.”

“Yes, I have.” She flatly told him, an eyebrow raised. How can he possibly forget Sango and Miroku’s wedding?

Sesshomaru’s smirk widened, “I never knew you would be the sentimental type, Inuyasha.”

“Screw you! And get out of our way!”

Now that she thought about it, Inuyasha seemed awfully attentive of the wedding despite being rude. It must have been a disguise so she wouldn’t say anything about him getting teary-eyed of the ceremony. She had to fight off the giggle that wanted to escape her mouth.

“Brute, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“Why the hell would you care? You can’t have her!” Inuyasha moved from behind her to the front, blocking the older male’s eyes. “She’s a prude, definitely not your type.”

“Inuyasha!” Her face felt really hot after her friend said that; she wanted to whack him over the head for his comment.

“Hn.” He started, “From her reaction, that may not be the case.”

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders, eager to leave his brother behind and pretend like he didn‘t know him. “C’mon Kagome, let’s go to the party.”

Kagome yanked her arms from Inuyasha‘s loose grasp, indignation flaring in her eyes. “Hold on a minute! I can’t believe you called me a prude!”

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, wanting to shake the girl. Couldn‘t she keep her mouth shut for a minute? He was trying to defend her! “Okay, do you want to be considered Miss Three-hundred-and-fifty? ‘Cause I could leave you here with him.”

Her mouth was gapped open, staring at the two of them in shock.

“You need to stop that lying habit of yours, now I can see why father used to spank you all the time.” Sesshomaru merely stated, his own eyes narrowed slightly. “Strange, he didn’t stop until you were fifteen.”

“He did not spank me until I was fifteen!” Inuyasha bellowed out. There was a piercing silence after he roared those words out. If a pin needle was dropped, everybody could have heard it.

Kagome placed a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her snickers. It didn’t help that everybody remaining in the room stopped and stared at the embarrassed male or the fact that his older brother had that dangerously, delicious smirk on his face.

“What the hell are ya looking at!?”

The rest of the guests scurried out the room, not wanting to put up with the man’s temper.

Kagome tried to control herself; it was difficult when Inuyasha had a massive blush and his face was twisted into a constipated look, his infamous angry face. “Inuyasha, you didn’t need to yell at them.”

“Does it look like I care?!” Inuyasha shouted at her. He then pointed at his brother. “I told you that bastard would ruin everything!”

“But you yelled out what he said…” Sometimes she couldn’t understand him, he always had the knack of blaming others.

“I wouldn’t have if this bastard wasn’t in my damn face saying a load of crap!” Inuyasha growled. “Ya know what, I ain’t staying here, I’m leaving! Deuces!” He swiftly turned around, stomping down the aisle and through the double doors.

“It was nice to meet you.” She bowed slightly with a blush before turning to follow behind the enraged and humiliated man. However, before she could, Inuyasha’s older brother lightly grabbed her arm, a tingling sensation coursing through her skin.

“I didn’t catch your name.” Damn his smooth baritone voice; it was making her body feel strange. Her mind was in conflict, wanting the man to release her and yet caress her flesh and do naughty stuff. I have been spending too much time with Sango and Miroku! Mind out of the gutter girl! She inwardly scolded herself. Kami, she was turning into a pervert.

Kagome felt her face overheating however, the tips of her ears becoming unbearably hot. “I-it’s Kagome Higurashi.” She murmured, her tongue unfortunately becoming tongue tied, it probably sounded gibberish to him. Uh oh, now she could feel her armpits sweating and her face! Maybe she just needed to keep her arms straight down and plastered firmly at her sides.

“Sesshomaru Taisho.” That smirk would be the death of her.

------

“Why the hell it took you so long to come?” Inuyasha complained as he started the car. “I was a second away from leaving your ass behind.”

Kagome ignored him, merely fanning her hands towards her slick armpits.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sweating…” She mumbled, using the pamphlet they received from the ceremony to provide more cool air towards her body.

“Why are you sweating, it’s not that hot outside.” Inuyasha said, not really comprehending. Then it dawned on him. “Were you nervous of Sesshomaru?”

“He was rather…intimidating.” She confessed, feeling better now that she wasn’t perspiring excessively.

“Yeah that bastard has that effect, thinks he’s the shit or something.”

There was a moment of silence. They were both just listening to the radio which Inuyasha turned on the second their conversation ended. Kagome lightly bobbed her head with the beat, thinking of a way to say what she wanted advice on.

“It was rather interesting experiencing this.” She nonchalantly commented, breaking the silence.

Inuyasha scoffed, still feeling angry of what transpired. “You were complaining the entire time and that bastard ruined my game.”

“Yeah…” She didn’t have much to say about that. She changed the subject promptly, knowing the man long enough to know he would continue ranting until the sun goes down. “So, I want your advice or opinion on something.”

“Shoot.”

“So I got a phone number and I was wondering when will it be a good time to contact this person?” Kagome inquired, absentmindedly playing with the flap of her clutch. “I don’t wanna do it too soon ‘cause I don’t want him to think I’m thirsty but I don’t wanna be late and then he changes his mind about talking to me.”

“Who’d you bag?” Inuyasha asked, his brows scrunching together, giving her a hard look. “Was I there?”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Well, I would wait a couple of hours, texting him immediately would just tell him that you have too much time on your hands.”

Kagome graced him with a smile. “Thanks Inuyasha.”

“So… who is it?” He was curious, it wasn’t often Kagome got a number from the opposite sex. He wasn’t joking when he said she was a prude. He kind of felt proud of his best friend, she was growing up!

Kagome contemplated whether or not to tell him. He would surely blow a gasket either way sooner or later. “Um… you’re not gonna like who it is.”

“So I know this person.” Inuyasha raked his brain, trying to remember anybody he hated; it was an extremely long list of people. He gave up after a couple seconds. “Why are you being vague, just hurry up and say it.” Too much thinking was giving him a headache anyways.

She mumbled after releasing a long whimper.

“It’s your brother.”

And just like she predicted, she received an earful.

________

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