History by Demonlordlover

History

"I can't do this anymore, Sango. I won't!" Kagome cried out. Rain-sodden hair hung limply over slumped shoulders while pain-darkened eyes met the compassionate gaze of her friend.

Sango sighed from her place beside the fireplace. "I know." She glanced off to the right, lost in thought. A few moments passed before she turned back to the forlorn woman. "It is the same with Miroku and I." She shrugged, hands fisted in helpless anger. "I cannot trust in his love when he has so freely offered it to all and sundry."

Both women fell into companionable misery. Shifting on the tiled floor to move closer to the fire, Kagome finished drying her hair with the terrycloth towel. She lowered it to stare furiously into the fire, her ire as hot as the flames that leapt and danced merrily before her. "Who does he think he is, treating me like that?"

The towel landed in a sodden heap on the floor with a wet 'plop.' Scrambling to her feet, Kagome began to pace the large space. She and Sango had come here out of instinct to avoid the rain that had suddenly decided to ruin the day further. It wasn't as if either woman wanted to be there, the place where they had met their misguided, inconsiderate boyfriends for the first time. It was empty of other patrons, though, the people having fled before the fury of the storm. The stray attendant, a hapless male, had undoubtedly recognized the feminine pique radiating from the women and stayed away.

Miroku had, just that morning, been caught red-handed. Literally. Bent over one of his co-worker's desk, said co-worker firmly in hand and decidedly lacking in clothing, he had done nothing but gape at the sight of his girlfriend. There hadn't even been a half-hearted attempt made at an apology. He'd simply slumped over the woman, resignation clear on his face. At least that was what had happened according to Sango.

Given their close friendship, Kagome would never disbelieve her, either. Miroku had been nothing but trouble from the start. The truly sad part was that he really did love Sango. Monogamy was what he was incapable of committing to.

As for her, she'd had enough. Enough of the silence. Enough of the damning lack of affection. Sure, he was a stoic person by nature. She understood that. But couldn't he even snuggle her in private? Instead, Sesshoumaru treated her to expensive gifts, outlandishly high-priced dinners, and nothing else.

This morning, when Sango had called her upset over Miroku's defection, she had complained to her boyfriend of three years. Sesshoumaru's words had struck a hollow note within her. "Infidelity is a paltry reason for such upset. She knows the man he is. If she wishes to be with him, she should be grateful for what he is willing to give."

Was he subtly warning her off of asking for more? Kagome had wondered. Did he see in her the desire to alter the dynamics of their relationship? Was that why Sesshoumaru had turned so cold to her? Because he had not always been so. He had been attentive in the beginning. Even if they never moved beyond a few chaste kisses, he had been tuned into her, so very interested in her, that it had been a fulfilling relationship. Subtly, however, that changed. Work became a priority, whereas she was not. Business associates were treated to weekends at the club, and she was lucky to merit two hours straight of his time.

Teary and unable to stand the sight of her boyfriend's obliviousness to her hurt, she had fled the restaurant they had met at for breakfast. He had been away on business for two weeks, and their get together was spoiled. She didn't care. Not anymore.

Now, sliding to the floor as her rage deserted her, Kagome didn't feel the cold beneath her knees. Sango broke the silence first. "I got a job transfer, Kagome."

Startled out of her self-pity, Kagome blinked to clear her vision. "What?" she asked after wiping her eyes clean. "I didn't know you were looking for another job, Sango."

From her place in the snug chair, Sango shrugged. "I wasn't until today. The transfer became available last week. I was first pick. It comes with a raise and a chance to move up in the company. I was given a few days to think it over before Dai offered it to someone else."

Kagome slid across the tile until her back rested beside the other woman's calf. "Are you going to take it?" she asked, looking up to meet dull brown eyes.

Fingers twisted the hem of an expensive, cream-colored silk blouse, now ruined by the rain. "I wasn't going to. After this morning, though, I knew it was time. It's been three years, and in that time he has cheated on me six times. Six, Kagome." Lids dropped closed, hiding the pain behind the admission, before she took a deep breath. "I keep going back to him, even though I know better. I need to get away before he talks me back into his arms with sweet lies that I want so desperately to believe in."

Sniffling in commiseration for her friend's heartache, Kagome softly asked, "When are you going to go?"

A quick glance at the clock on the café wall yielded an unhappy smile. "Thirty minutes. I'm expected there tomorrow. I have a one way ticket to Germany in my purse."

"Germany?" Kagome gasped. "That's so far away!" What would she do without her friend? Her roommate and confidante? What would Sango do without her?

"I'm so sorry, Kagome," Sango apologized mistily. "But I have to do this. I have to get away, and I need to do it before he comes for me."

Struggling through the fat tears that blurred her vision, Kagome stood up and threw her arms around Sango's neck. "I know. It's okay. I'll miss you so much, though!"

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It was a defeated woman who trudged out of the airport later that afternoon. Sango's flight had been stalled due to the weather. The time had been spent on promises to keep in touch and reminiscing on old times. Three hours later, however, her childhood friend was whisked away in the belly of a 747.

Depressed, Kagome let herself into the small apartment she had shared with her friend. Who would she have to talk to? Who would she treat to a day at the spa after a grueling week of work? Without Sango, Kagome realized, she had no one.

Sesshoumaru was a joke as a boyfriend. She finally realized the truth in their relationship. She had allowed herself to become little more than a kept woman. To be at his convenience 24-7. They had never been intimate, but it was the same concept. The perfect little woman. Clean, reserved only for him to use, and all he had to do was keep her dangling on the promise of something more permanent than the occasional date. He had no family other than a half-brother he detested, but he'd never even taken her to his apartment! Kami, she cried out mentally, that was a sign if ever there was one that she was nothing important to him.

She had been so easy. He was such a handsome youkai. He had crooked his finger, and, fresh from an abusive relationship with an ookami named Kouga who had been extremely possessive, she had come running. The aloof caring he had exuded had been a balm to her fear of being tangled with another like Kouga. She had mistaken his lack of care to be trust. He never told her not to go out, or who to see. "Do what you please," was Sesshoumaru's standard reply whenever she had asked his opinion.

Rather, it should have been, "I just don't give a damn."

She had needed to be apart of a relationship, needed the outlet for the love overflowing in her heart. She had needed him. But it had all been one-sided. The only question she had was: why her? Why, of all the women, youkai and human alike, that he could have chosen, why her? Was it because she was a miko? Something new for him to try until he got tired of her clinging ways?

Regret and hurt squeezed a tight fist about her heart. She had loved watching him. He took no milk or sugar in his tea. He only ate lightly braised red meat and raw vegetables. Infomercials made a tick appear in his jaw, while documentaries were his favorite. He had that air of supreme confidence about him that drew other males (and females) to him in both adoration and awe. And yet, despite her current distress, Kagome knew she would never be in Sango's place. He was honorable, and would end it with her before moving on with another woman.

An ending, she was so positive, that would be any day now.

She had been so very eager, happy even, to stand in the shadows he cast. With Sango to keep her company, she had been content to wait for those rare moments when he would share her life. She had been so very, very foolish.

The door echoed dully as it bounced against the wall. Still wiping her eyes, Kagome flung her purse on the rickety side table before crossing the small hallway and trudged into her room. In her despair, she missed the intent eyes watching her entrance while a faint scowl marred the perfection of the visitor's features.

Without bothering to change, Kagome kicked her shoes off, crawled into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. Great wracking sobs finally escaped the stranglehold she's maintained over them. Soon the pillow was soaked, but still the grief continued to plague her. Only the heartache to warm her, she shivered in loneliness.

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Wiping her mouth clean of toothpaste, Kagome threw the washcloth into the laundry basket. Morning ablutions completed, she left the bathroom-still filled with steam from her shower-to wander into the kitchen. The morning had dawned with weary resignation.

Nightmares had plagued her after she had fallen into an uneasy slumber. Terrible truths had wrenched the last of her consciousness free of the lies she had fed herself so eagerly. Whatever it was that had happened between her and Sesshoumaru, she now took full-measure of the guilt. She should have seen it. The moments when he would ask her to go to a movie, but because it was 'girl's night' with Sango, she had turned him down. Whenever Sango was upset with Miroku, it was her, Kagome, who she had run to. Sesshoumaru's plans for them were canceled instantly for the sake of her friend.

After a while, he simply stopped asking. Stopped making plans. Stopped caring if he saw her or not, because why should he? She had proven she didn't care if she spent time with him or not. At least, that was how it had appeared. Conditioned by years of friendship, it had been instinctual to run to Sango for everything and to drop anything for her.

Seen in that light, it was truly amazing that Sesshoumaru had even stuck around for three years of being second to a childhood friend. Was it too late? she asked herself after pouring a cup of milk into the puppy mug. Would he forgive her for being such a horrible girlfriend? Could they start over, or was the hurt too deep?

Unable to answer any of them with a semblance of logic, she crossed the floor to the couch. As she neared it, however, Kagome finally took notice of the male lying asleep on the length of the long sofa. Turned to face the window, the high back had hidden him from view until now.

"Sesshoumaru?" Kagome whispered softly. Stirring slightly, his eyes slid open. Kagome drank in the sight of him. Tousled from sleep, his short hair stuck out at all angles while the familiar rumpled khaki pants and wrinkle-creased white button-down shirt revealed that he had not even gone home to change after their aborted breakfast.

His long legs slid off to couch. "Where were you?" he demanded, voice still husky from sleep. He had been looking forward to the opportunity to see her, only to have her run off on him. Then, when she finally drug herself home, she had acted as if someone had died. Uncertain at the time if he had wanted to insist on knowing what had bothered her, he had waited. She had thankfully fallen asleep before the scent of her tears had driven him to foolishness.

The wood of the coffee table was cold, but Kagome ignored it to sit before him. "I ran into Sango," she explained, but before she could continue, he cut her off with a short chop of a clawed hand.

"I see," he bit out coldly. "As you are well, I will be taking my leave now. There are matters at the office that need to be seen to." He stood up and started for the door before he could say anything else. The words fairly begged to sting, to lash out, but he knew it would be the end of what little they had if he allowed them free reign.

He had been captivated by her from the start. An enigma, an anomaly of feminine mystery and an almost childlike innocence, he had been drawn to protect her. To preserve the good that shone so brightly from a soul unsullied by vice. And then, when he grew to know her, he had wanted that good for himself. He wanted her, all of her. Selfish, perhaps, but it was his way. His nature was driven to claim and conquer, even his woman. Instead, he was forced to realize that he could never possess her as he wished. She was already owned. By a woman at that.

Had it been a male, he could have challenged the usurper of Kagome's affections. He could have easily seduced her away from another male, youkai or human. The bonds of friendship between the women, the history each carried of the other deep in their hearts, however ...To even attempt to sunder such a bond would result only in disaster. To wait had been his only option.

To keep himself from forcing the issue, he buried himself with work. As the months passed, however, he found it harder and harder to keep the biting words behind clenched teeth. Frustration mounted and grew, festering within him. To one such as he, to acknowledge that his own woman valued him less than he did her ... It was a grievous blow to his pride and male ego. He was to the point, now, that he knew it would only be a matter of time before he ended it. He was no fool, no matter how foolish he had been. He would not beat himself bloody over anyone, least of all a woman who couldn't see beyond her friend to what he offered.

"Wait!" Kagome cried out from where had had left her.

Turning around after schooling his features into a mask of indifference, he raised a brow in inquiry.

Swallowing heavily, Kagome closed the distance between them until she stared up into cold golden eyes. "I-I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru," she murmured. "For everything."

Prepared to dismiss the apology as he had the many others she uttered to him for broken dates, something gave him pause. He gazed into her deep blue eyes and found them less bright than just the day before. Some of her innocence, he realized, was missing. "Everything?" he asked instead of walking away.

Unable to keep her eyes up under his scrutiny, Kagome fumbled with the sleeves of her robe. "Sango is gone," she said softly, not seeing the hard light glint in his gaze. "I think it loosened something in me, though, her leaving. I just ... She was always there for me and I her. It became second nature for us to be what the other needed. But ..." she paused, stumbling over finding the right words, "I wasn't fair to you. I even dared to grow upset with your inattention and seeming lack of care, when really, it was I who was at fault. I was made to finally think about my life, and those in it, to know that she was gone. She was a large part of it. Too large. You've stood by me through three years of 'Sango, that,' and 'Sango, this,' many broken promises, and just the general knowledge that I was unavailable to you."

She took a shuddery breath. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry." Tears fell unbidden down her cheeks, and she wiped them away lest she lose her nerve. "And that ... that I understand if you walk out that door and never come back," she finished morosely.

Unwilling to forgive so easily, Sesshoumaru tipped a finger under her chin and forced her to meet his penetrating stare. "This realization will lead to nothing if at the first drop of a hat, your friend comes running back to you."

"I can only try," she promised, understanding the question in his statement. "Will you let me make it right?" Please, she dared to hope, please don't let this be the end of them. With her eyes opened to the wrongs she had committed in their relationship, she desperately wanted the chance to try again. To show him that she did love him, was able to commit to him as he deserved. Everyone should come first to someone, and she should have been his someone.

Unable to resist the opportunity to finally gain that which he had sought for three years, Sesshoumaru sealed her promise with a kiss. The past flowed away from them as lips parted and hands hungrily sought new territory. They would both try, he vowed as clothing fell away and a shy blush covered virgin flesh.

It was a new beginning for them.

Free of the murky history of an almost failed relationship, he shuddered in completion over her still shivering form. Dropping to the side, he pulled her into his arms. Finally, he breathed out soundlessly as she snuggled into his possessive hold. She belonged to him as surely as he did her.

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"What are you doing?" Kagome asked her boyfriend. He had surprised her in her apartment, wrapped her up in his coat and had placed a blindfold over her eyes.

He smirked, sure she couldn't see it. "You will wait to find out." He opened the door to lead her out, surprising the one who had lifted a hand to knock.

"Oh!" Sango cried out in surprise. Three bags sat at her booted feet

Upon hearing the exclamation, Kagome pulled the blindfold-an improvised handkerchief-off. "Sango!" Kagome leapt forward and wrapped her arms around the other woman and hugged tightly. She stepped back when her friend returned it and sighted the bags. "Sango?"

Placing her hands in the pockets of her jacket, Sango smiled. "I missed Japan and my best friend too much. I transferred back."

Unsure what to say as the figure behind her tensed up, Kagome could literally feel the cold seep across her skin. "I missed you too, Sango. Maybe we can meet for lunch tomorrow?"

Shocked, Sango ventured, "I thought I-Well, I thought to move back in here. We could watch movies and talk about the old times."

Kagome smiled gently, but shook her head. "Any other night you would be welcome to stay, Sango. But Sesshoumaru and I have plans for tonight."

"I see." Sango clearly didn't see as a frown line creased her brow. The tense figure of the tall male eased though, and a muscled arm fell across Kagome's shoulders.

"We don't want to be late," he murmured. He caught the glare the woman sent him when Kagome glanced up to smile at him. He gloried in the sensation of finally winning out over the woman. It was heady, indeed.

"Okay, Sesshoumaru. Sango, do you need us to drop you off at your parent's house?"

"If you don't mind," the woman replied stiffly. "It's cold, and I sent my taxi away because I didn't think you'd turn me out."

Smile dimming slightly at the terse answer, Kagome sighed before turning to Sesshoumaru. "I forgot my chapstick. I'll be right back." She ran inside the apartment, hurrying to retrieve the small tube. It would be a mistake to leave the two alone for too long, she sensed instinctively. She had meant every word to Sesshoumaru. If Sango hadn't had anywhere to go, she would have allowed her to stay in the apartment while she went out with Sesshoumaru. Sango did have a family, though. And Sesshoumaru had taken to staying nights with her, and Kagome didn't want those precious moments disturbed.

Left behind, Sesshoumaru crossed his arms over his chest and glared back at the woman. "You will refrain from further guilt trips."

Sango griped, "You must be eating this up. I leave for five months, and you've made her forget all about me." A steely glare turned her brown eyes hard. "I'm back, though, and it will only be a matter of time before she remembers who means more to her. We have history together, something you can never replace or remove. You-"

A soft gasp cut of the rest of what Sango would have said. Both turned to stare at the pale-faced woman. "Sango, why would you say something like that to him?" Kagome asked, confused.

Shrugging, Sango set a mutinous look on her friend. "It's the truth. You've forgotten in my absence, but you know better than to trust a male the way you can me. 'Chicks before dicks,' right Kagome?" Sango said, repeating the motto from their college days.

Shaking her head sadly, Kagome laid a reassuring hand on Sesshoumaru's arm when he moved toward the other woman, jaw set in a hard line. "We're not in school anymore, Sango. Sesshoumaru and I are serious about one another."

A disdainful sniff answered her. "Just like I was about Miroku. Look where that got me."

Irritated now, Kagome's fingers curled on Sesshoumaru's sleeve. "He is not Miroku." Before the evening could be ruined further, Kagome tugged to get him moving and summoned a smile for her friend. "Come on. You're probably tired from the long flight, Sango. I bet you'll feel better in the morning."

Petulantly pouting, Sango picked up a bag and Kagome claimed the other two. Muffling an oath, Sesshoumaru took them from her hands. He wouldn't lift a finger for the childish wench, but he wasn't about to watch Kagome burden herself for the woman again.

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An hour later, Sesshoumaru pushed open the loft's door and led Kagome inside. After, thankfully, depositing the other woman on the doorstep of her parents' house, he had swept Kagome away. She had been saddened by the coolness her friend treated her relationship with him with. But she had not faltered, he crowed internally. She had stood by him and had defended their bond.

For her sake, he hoped the other woman grew up and realized that she could still be friends with Kagome. She would not, however, monopolize his woman's time or attention. He was the only one who could make such a claim on her. Just as he had cut back on work, even losing a fair amount of future commissions, to nurture their blooming relationship.

The money lost was negligible. The price of losing Kagome would be immeasurably high. Too high.

An awed gasp drew him back to the present. "Sesshoumaru, is this your home?" Various weapons of the feudal era and beyond lined the walls of the open-aired space. She had watched him in the gym a few times sparring with an old acquaintance, so the weapons were more than just show. A leather sofa and loveseat took up the middle of the living space, while a large bed hid behind an ornately decorated shoji screen. The kitchen was a simple affair. Three cabinets and the necessary appliances took up only a fraction of the corner. It was stark and, well, him.

"This is my loft," he answered simply. It wasn't home. Her little apartment, surrounded by her warmth and painted in her vivid personality, was home. But he wanted more than that. "I brought you here to show you that it is unsuitable."

"Unsuitable?" she repeated, brow creased, perplexed. "I think it fits you just fine."

"But it does not fit you."

Blinking, she turned from an inspection of a rather large sword with a ragged hilt. "Me?"

Quirking the corner of his lip to reveal a sharp fang, he nodded before pulling her into his arms. "I want you with me at all times. In our home." Leaning in, he claimed her lips before she could reply. "Be my mate," he murmured huskily against her neck after pulling back to speak. "Everything I have will be yours. We will build a magnificent home and will create our own history, together. All I ask for is you."

Inhaling sharply, Kagome threw her arms around his neck. "Yes! Yes!" she sobbed into his hard chest. "I love you so much, Sesshoumaru! I thought you'd never get around to asking me!"

He nudged her chin up and devoured her sobbing happiness with passionate hunger. "I had this day planned from the first time I took you to bed, Kagome. I wasn't sure, you see, until you came to me free to love fully, as I would you." He didn't add that her loyalty to him in the face of her friend's return had solidified his trust in her. Some things, he knew, were better left unsaid.

Nodding her acceptance, Kagome smiled at her lover, her future mate, dreamily. "Do you mind if we have a wedding too?" Her mother and the other friends she had made in Sango's absence would love to come. She frowned at the reminder of her friend's behavior. She hoped that Sango would understand but wouldn't attempt to explain further.

It would hurt, but if it came down to it, there was no choice to be made. She loved Sesshoumaru, beyond anyone or anything, and would sooner never see Sango again than lose him.

Sensing her quiet upset, Sesshoumaru tugged Kagome to the bed. "Later we can talk if you need to," he promised. Right now he wanted to join with her, to slide into her body and connect physically as well as mentally and emotionally.

She chuckled, turning away from her brief pangs of sadness. "You are always so eager to get me naked," she quipped good-naturedly. Shedding their clothing on the way to the bed, he tossed her onto the soft surface while the smirking faces of his inuyoukai heritage stared down on them from the shoji screen.

Sesshoumaru fell upon her, and both groaned at the contact between heated flesh. Eager fingers slid across taut flesh, and larger digits stroked her intimately. "Just as eager as you are to feel me stretch you, laying claim to all that is mine, my Kagome," he drawled silkily.

She laughed, the sound draining away into a pleasure-filled moan as he touched her just so. Then all words fell to the wayside. The rest, as they say, was history.