I Will Always Love You by yasha012

Break Even

Disclaimer: I don't own or claim this song.

Song: Break Even by The Script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in

Why? All he could think about was why? He didn't understand.

'Cause I got time while she got freedom

He sighed a little and continued walking. Ever since she'd left he'd been on the move, never staying in one place longer than a week. He'd packed up the few things he had and left the city that very same day. That same day she left him... He'd been foolish. He thought she actually loved him. But in the end...

'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even

Not a single day passed where he didn't think about her. Not a single moment went by where his heart didn't ache. He'd never hurt so much in his life. She'd promised. She'd promised she would never hurt him. That was such a lie...

Her best days were some of my worst

She'd never been loyal... She'd been cheating on him. It only got worse when he found out who she'd left him for.

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first

He didn't understand. He'd always been faithful, always been loyal. He'd never loved anyone but her. She was the center of his whole universe. Without her... There was nothing for him. Everything was pointless with her gone. Nothing mattered anymore.

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping

When they first met, he was literally this close to ending his own life. He just wanted to make the pain go away. He'd hurt so much his whole life, and he just couldn't take it anymore. But then he met her... She'd made him feel so happy. She made everything okay. When he was with her, nothing was ever bad. The sun was always shining when she was around. But now... She was gone.And the sun didn't shine anymore.

'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no

She still talked to him sometimes. She called him, asked how he was doing, made small talk. He could never say anything. He never knew what to say..

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

He'd stopped answering the phone a few weeks ago. At first, she kept calling anyway, left messages asking him to call her back. He never did. Eventually, she stopped calling. He didn't like that. Because... Honestly... He did want to talk to her. But he knew he couldn't. Nothing he said would ever change anything.

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces

He crossed the street and turned a corner. He didn't know where he was going, but he honestly didn't care. He just wanted to get away. He'd be gone by the time she found it. He'd make sure of it.

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

He'd never loved anyone before her, never had his heart broken by anyone before. She was his first and only love. He'd never love anyone ever again.

'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving

And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no

He'd never had any friends before in his life. After he met her, suddenly, he was surrounded by friends. Her friends. Now that she was gone, so were they. He was all alone again... He had no one to turn to, no one to even talk to. And now, he never would. But... That was okay. This was what he wanted. What he should have done so long ago...

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

But first, he needed to get away. Far, far away. Away from her, away from her friends, away from the city and all it's memories, away from everyone and everything. And that was exactly what he planned to do.

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love while the other one's leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

He would get away. He'd go away forever. He'd never come back. He'd never be able to... But that was okay. He'd thought long and hard about it. And in the end, he'd decided that this was what he wanted. He wasn't changing his mind.

Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame

Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh

'Cause you left me with no love and honor to my name

As he was walking, he couldn't help but wonder if she'd found it yet. That note he left at her door... He hadn't said much. In one short paragraph, he'd told her how much he loved her. How much he would always love her. He'd asked her to do him one favor. One simple favor. Stay happy.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in

'Cause I got time while she got freedom

At the end of the note, he told her he was sorry. Told her he was doing something that she wouldn't like. He didn't tell her what it was, told her not to ask, not to look for him. He told her it was better that she didn't know.

'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...

No, it don't break

No, it don't break even, no

Somehow, he doubted she would listen. She was so stubborn... It was one of the things he'd always loved about her. He just hoped that this once, just this once, she would listen...

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

In the end, he'd said goodbye.

(Oh glad you're okay now)

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

(Oh I'm glad you're okay)

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

He pulled out a key and unlocked the door of the little house he'd built out in the woods. No one knew it existed. Not even her. He'd built it when he'd just started highschool, just months before he met her. He'd never told anyone about it, and he was thankful for that. With any luck, no one would ever find him there...

(One still in love while the other one's leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)

He closed the door behind him and locked it again with a shaky hand. He'd been blocking out his emotions for so long, but now they were all pouring out. It hurt so bad... He took a deep breath and slowly walked to the bathroom. He locked that door too. Now no one could get in. They'd have to break down the walls to get to him. There were only those two doors, and there were no windows. No way in...

Oh, it don't break even no

Once the door was locked, he tossed the key in the garbage. He almost had second thoughts about what he was about to do. Almost. He walked over to the sink and opened a drawer. He pulled out a knife from underneath a bunch of junk. There was no turning back now...

Oh, it don't break even no

He struggled for breath as he sat there on the floor. He was still holding the bloody knife in his hand. He nearly blacked out again, but he forced himself to stay awake. He wasn't done yet... He wouldn't be done until... Until... His mind was hazy and he was having a hard time thinking. But he knew one thing with certainty. He needed to do this.

Oh, it don't break even no

With one final shaky breath, he drove the knife in one last time. He gasped as the pain shot through his body and slowly allowed himself a small smile. It was over. It was finally over... One final thought drifted through his mind as everything went black.

I love you Kagome... I will always love you...