What he can't have.... by Dolly Black

She Promises...

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: I'm really sorry it's been so long! Here you go! Enjoy!

Kagome was exhausted by the end of the party, and thankfully Sesshoumaru had decided to leave her alone for the night after escorting her back to her rooms. It was a welcome reprieve from him and it left her with time to mull over her current situation.

Since they would be staying a few days she had no doubt that there would be questions as to how she ended up in this position, and what was happening to her. The first she could answer easily, though with no small amount of anger and bitterness. The second not so much, even she wasn’t sure what was going on with her powers.         

It was frustrating to say the least, the innocent bell sounds as she moved to get some tea from the low table in her room only served to make it worse. If it weren’t for these damned restraints she’d be able to figure out what had happened. All she knew was that the short amount of time when she could feel her power before being ‘gifted’ with a new adornment, it felt nothing like her holy powers had.

In fact it felt nothing like holy or demonic energies, it was something entirely different. It felt new and old all at the same time and it confused her to no end. Oh what Kagome wouldn’t do to be able to test the newfound powers rising and growing within her, they were clearly responsible for the drastic changes in her being.

Turning her thoughts forcefully away from the subject of her mysterious new power, Kagome decided on a course of action regarding her former companions. Though she couldn’t bring herself to feel much of anything, she did have logic to rely on and it told her that the slayer was her first stop. With that decided she summoned a servant to fetch said slayer and bring her to Kagome’s personal baths.

It was time for girl talk.

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Sango was surprised, to say the least, when a servant arrived at her room to tell her she’d been summoned to the Western Lady’s private baths. However, she quickly shook off her shock and followed behind the servant through the maze of hallways to a large and beautiful bathing room.

In the middle of the large pool was Kagome, in all her pale near demonic glory. If Sango didn’t know for certain this was Kagome she’d have thought it to be an angel. Kagome’s slate eyes shifted her way and the slayer hurried to join her in the blissful warmth of the waters.

They sat in silence for what seemed like forever before Kagome’s cool voice broke the ice, so to speak, “Sango, there can be no doubt that you have questions. I would like you to ask them here, in the privacy of my chambers. I don’t want to risk giving my Lord the pleasure of any sort of spectacle.” The icy edge wasn’t quite as present in her address to her friend until Lord Sesshoumaru was brought up.

Overall Kagome’s demeanor was that of a noble Lady in the demon court, cool and collected, but underneath the surface Sango knew there had to be more going on. “Kagome, what in the name of the Gods has happened to you?”

Straight to the point. Kagome liked that, and had expected no less from her long time feudal sister. In return she deserved a straight answer, “My Lord Sesshoumaru took me when I was sleeping after Inuyasha left the village, and he forced me to mate him and has beget an heir upon me. These are the things I know and can understand. The next half of your question is not so easily answered, for I don’t know the answer myself. All I know is that my power has been growing steadily ever since I was ‘mated’” the last word ripped out of her mouth with so much venom it left Sango shocked.

Her Kagome had never before put so much spite and poison into words then she did now. It horrified her to think of what must have happened to her friend, demon mating’s were not gentle in the best of circumstances but to have it forced upon one meant the worst kind of pain for the female. It was something she couldn’t bring herself to even try to imagine.

Clearly understanding what must be going through Sango’s mind Kagome began to speak again, “These well-crafted adornments you see on me now are what keep my powers down, they are added to as needed, which is increasingly as of late. Sesshoumaru keeps me well in check with these pretty shackles. I would give almost anything to remove them and see what my abilities have become, but that is just something that is not possible.”

Kagome leveled her companion with an expectant look that shook Sango out of her own thoughts in order to respond with words she wasn’t even sure would mean anything with so much damage done.

“Kagome, I am… I am so sorry. I wish we’d gotten here sooner, though I doubt we’d ever have been able to get here soon enough. What has happened to you is a horror, this I know. I… I just want to help you in any way I can now.” Sango’s eyes were misty with tears she refused to shed, her pride as a warrior did not allow for crying, especially in the face of someone who had much more reason to cry and still did not.

Sango’s words were heavy with guilt and sincerity, Kagome knew there was nothing that any of them could have done to save her. Sesshoumaru was a monster, yes, but he was immensely powerful and he always got what he wanted. He’d wanted to destroy her, and he had in a sense succeeded. Her youthful naïveté and cheer were all gone.

Looking once more at her companion Kagome spoke again, “You’re right, there isn’t anything you could have done to prevent this. However, if you could explain what has happened to the others that would be helpful. I do not wish to have this conversation more than once, and I definitely do not want to give Sesshoumaru the satisfaction of having the scene he so desires from us. Make sure to keep them from causing one. I need your word on this Sango.”

The slayer looked to her longtime friend and with a heavy heart, “You have my word Kagome, I will relay this information to Inuyasha and Miroku.” With a nod Kagome turned to leave the bathing room, naked as the day she was born, as she was about to close the door behind her she turned once more, “Thank you for not bringing Shippo.” That was all she said before returning to her rooms.

Another servant returned to escort Sango back to the guest room reserved for her. She was in a daze as she lay down for rest that night, there was so much to take in and so much had happened. She was exhausted and yet her mind raced. Tomorrow was going to be a hard day for all of them, and as she drifted off to sleep she thought on Kagome’s parting words.

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Kagome lay on her futon, her mind awash with thoughts of the past. There were so many things she had wanted and they had been so quickly taken away. It made her feel even colder. She had no control over what had happened to her, she continued to have no control. It infuriated her to no end, as her mind raced she rubbed her swollen belly absentmindedly.

Suddenly she had a thought, even if there was nothing she could do about herself, there was one thing in this life she still had control over. Her child. He would be her salvation. The one thing in this new life that would be truly hers. No matter what Sesshoumaru said, this child was hers and hers alone. She knew that.

Even if the child was the full blooded heir Sesshoumaru was sure it would be, Kagome was sure that he could never provide the child with all the things children needed, things she wasn’t sure she was even capable of anymore. But she would try. She had to try, even if she was now no better than that icy bastard himself.

Her heart may be frozen, but her mind still worked, and it told her that she could still nurture a child better than that vicious demon that called himself her mate. She would still be able to teach him better than his father ever could. She would make sure that her child would never grow to be like the demon that had sired it.

Looking down at her stomach she made a promise to her unborn child, a promise to make him grow into a truly honorable man. One who would never do as his father did. One who would understand love, even if she didn’t know how exactly to give that anymore.

With these thoughts swirling in her mind, Kagome closed her tired eyes and fell asleep finally.