Never Looking Back by Starfyre

Never Looking Back

AN: This is just a little oneshot. I was inspired by the fanart BHL by MissKatt (Colored) by Aurora Antheia Raine. The sketch is by MissKatt, the coloring is by Aurora Antheia Raine, if I understand right.

The link is http://www.dokuga.com/gallery?func=detail&id=7356

It's a beautiful picture. Check it out. This story just popped into my head while I was staring at it. Hope you guys like it. Leave me a review letting me know what you think. ENJOY!

~*~

Standing on a promontory overlooking the valley that held Edo with the night sky glittering like midnight blue velvet covered in silver glitter caught in bright light, Kagome let the tears fall silently. It was not the first night she had stood here. It had been nearly a year since she had stood here like this. Over a year since they had died. She had been away in another village with Kaede.

Sango had been pregnant with yet another child. It was a new moon that night. They had returned to find most of the village decimated by common bandits. Miroku, Sango and InuYasha had all died trying to defend the village. The children had survived, all except Shippo. He had been killed protecting Sango and Miroku's children and Rin. Kaede had been just as destroyed by it as she had.

She couldn't let them go. Sesshoumaru and Jaken had taken Rin away shortly after. Without the others here to ensure her safety, he had determined that she would be safer with him. She couldn't blame him. They stopped by sometimes for Rin to visit. This was another beautiful night that reminded her of nights spent sitting around a campfire somewhere on the hunt for shards. Those nights filled with love and friendship were gone. Just like the friends. She had tried to go home. The well was nothing but an old dry well now. Not even the slightest hint of power could be found in the old weathered boards.

The orphans of her friends had gone to stay with Mushin shortly after their parents had died. It was the best that she could do for them. It would allow them to be sheltered and trained. Mushin had been happy to take them in. She still went to see them, but she couldn't provide for them, she certainly couldn't protect them or train them for that matter. Kohaku gone to live with them as well. He was ensuring that they were trained as slayers. Between him and the old monk they would not forget their parents, or in the case of the youngest, he would know who they had been. Kagome offered up stories when she visited, but it hurt to see the three surviving children.

Pain lanced through her heart. This was not what was supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They had won. They had beat Naraku. She had finally been able to return to them. They were supposed to live long lives and grow old together. Their children were supposed to be best friends. Shippo was supposed to be the best Kitsune to have ever lived.

They were gone. They were gone and she was alone. Kaede was not long for this world. She had barely made it through the winter. Kagome didn't hold any illusions about her surviving another one. When she was gone, there would truly be no one left here for here. She gave up her family in the future to be with her family here, but they weren't here any more. If she had stayed in the future, she could have lived her life believing that all her friends here had had the lives that they should have had. That they had lived long lives and loved and laughed. Knowing the truth, that they had all been cut down so suddenly, it torn her apart.

Kaede kept telling her that she had to move on, and keep living, that she had to find happiness again. How? How could she be happy now? Her heart was shattered. No one here understood her. She couldn't prove that she came from a different time any more. The few villagers that survived knew, but they didn't understand. They treated her like she was some kind of Kami. InuYasha had been her intended. Now, she would never find love, never have children.

“Miko.”

She didn't turn around. He always found her here when he brought Rin to visit. The girl spent her time with Kaede mostly, and the few village children that remained. She almost never looked at the Western Lord. He brought too many memories of too many fights to the forefront of her mind. The tears fell harder just knowing that he was close.

“Do you still cry for them, Miko?”

She didn't answer. She didn't need to. It wasn't really a question even though it sounded like one. He already knew. She didn't know why he asked. It was pointless to ask.

Sesshoumaru stood beside her. He didn't bother look out at the night sky or the sleeping village below. He had seen it enough to know that she was not looking at the here and now. With the death of his younger brother, the members of his pack fell to Sesshoumaru for protection and proper care. The pups of the hanyou's pack had all been seen to. The woman beside him he allowed to remain for the sake of the eldest pack mate, Kaede. He had tried many times to reach the miko. Her pain was deep. It went without saying that if she had been present for the attack, she would be dead with the others, though the kit may have survived it in her stead.

It was not a comforting thought. They never spoke of such things. There was no point in looking back at what could have been. Such things did not matter because they did not happen. He did not know how to help her move on though. He had always had little in the way of pack since coming of age. Once he had become a dominant male, his parents had not been close. Jaken had been the first member of his pack. Ah-Un was part of his pack because of Rin. He had yet to loose a member of his pack without the ability to restore them. She needed to get through this. If she did not, the death of the old one would kill her as well.

He had to reach her, as her Alpha, as her new pack mate. When the old one passed from this world, he would take her away from this place. There would be no reason to return again, but first, he had to pull her out of this obsession with what once was and could never be again.

“Their gone. I have nothing left,” Kagome whispered. The crystal lines of tears that streaked her face did nothing to hinder her voice.

“The pups yet live, as do you. This Sesshoumaru remains as does the rest of his pack,” he answered quietly. Still she did not look at him.

“I gave up everything. Everything. For them. To be with them. And now. And now they are gone. They are gone and I can't go back. I'm stuck here. Alone. Kaede is going to die, and then I won't have anything anywhere any more,” she stated. The sorrow in her heart clear in her voice and words.

Sesshoumaru gently turned her face to him with long slender fingers along her left cheek. She leaned down so that she could look at nothing but him.

“Are you alone, Miko?” he asked seriously.

“I gave up everything, and now they are all gone. Kaede will join them. I will be,” she answered. Her eyes begged for him to give her something, anything to hold on to now.

“You must stop shedding tears for the past, before you can see the present, Kagome. We are here in front of you, but you see only those that have gone before. Let him go. I would have thought that you had learned that much from him. You can only chase the past if you are willing to loose the present and the future. I am here in front of you. Can you truly not see me?”

Her eyes widened and she stared at Sesshoumaru as if seeing him for the first time. What was he saying? What did he mean?

As if reading her mind, he spoke, “He was blood of my blood, son of my father. His pack, is now mine to protect. I will give him that honor. Even when the old one passes, you will not be alone. I will not allow it, just as he would not have allowed it.”

“You, you'll take me... with you?” she asked tentatively, afraid that he would say no.

“I claim you, Kagome. You are mine. My pack. I will not leave you alone, if you would but accept the present, and the future. As you were his, so shall you be mine, if you will leave the past behind where it belongs.”

Fresh tears welled in her eyes. They fell in twin streaks, but she smiled a watery, shaky smile. As her chin dropped and she leaned into him, Sesshoumaru straightened and pulled her close. For the first time since she had buried her feudal family, she mourned them completely, but this time she could say goodbye. This time she could truly let them go. This time, this time there was hope. This time, she was not alone.

That was the last time she stood staring out from the promontory shedding tears for what she had lost. When Kaede passed a few weeks later, she stood waiting for her pack. They were not late in coming for her. She never looked back as she followed her new Alpha into her future. When Mushin passed on, their pack grew. It no longer hurt to see the children of her departed friends. Rin married. As did Kohaku. Both not long after her first pup was born. Through all the loss, she never looked back. The children of her friends married, had children, and passed on. Still she followed her Alpha, never looking back.

Together, they faced the future. Never forgetting. Never regretting. Never looking back.

 

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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