Because of Loving You by Maria-Salvatore29

Broken Vows

Chapter 5: Broken Vows

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

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My name was Kagome Higurashi-Kimura. I came from a family of priestesses and monks. I had holy powers that I didn’t even know how to use except hide my scent and aura, or burn a demon when I felt so angry.

Higurashi was my maiden name. Kimura was—my husband's—ex-husband's surname, because his biological father's mate wouldn't let him use their surname that was Taisho.

So, when his mother left his demon Father, and married a human millionaire, she changed his surname. Then, right after their death, Inuyasha took over the company.

He was a respected half-breed now. He was braver, more eloquent, and more confident. Seven years passed and he was no longer that brusque boy I'd known.

No wonder, he didn’t want someone as shabby and unrefined like me. No wonder he chose a sophisticated and confident fashion designer like Kikyou. What else was there to ask? She was perfect except for her bad attitude.

Well, I married him at eighteen, right after high school, killing my chance in getting in a university. I was nobody.

I curled into a ball, heaving with tears. I just wanted someone to hold me. I just wanted to be go back in time and hold on to his feelings. I just wanted to go back in our happy times.

I heard the door to my room open. The bed where I laid dipped as someone sat next to me. "Kagome." Sesshomaru's voice made me calm a little.

I didn't bother to reply. I can't even see him as he sat himself behind me. He knew that I can't bear to look at him yet. He looked so much like Inuyasha.

"Kagome, talk to me," he said, his usual cold voice gone replaced by gentle tone.

I remained silent.

"You'd been like this for over a month now since the approval of your divorce," he said, scolding now. "Shippou needs you."

I bit my lip. I was being a poor mother to my son but I can't face him yet.

"It's Christmas Eve tonight, you have to get up," he continued.

I closed my eyes as memories of the many Christmases I've spent with Inuyasha flashed through my mind, making my heart constrict painfully.

"Get up from your winter sleep," he said in a soft voice. "Stop hibernating, little bear," he added with a hint of laughter in his voice.

I liked it when Sesshomaru was being playful with me so I smiled a little.

"Get up. Face the truth. Face your son. He needs you the most right now. Don't let Sango assume your role as his mother. It's over, Kagome," he said seriously, his voice cold again.

I want to shut him up. I didn’t want to hear this.

I could feel his irritation as he got up from the bed. Before getting out of the room, he said, his voice hard, and commanding, "Let him go. Let yourself go. Find another life. Find yourself. Live, and stop holding on to his broken vows."

His last words echoed to my mind over and over again.

Live, and stop holding on to his broken vows

Live, and stop holding on to his broken vows

Live, and stop holding on to his broken vows

I jumped out of the bed so quickly, I had a head rush, but I—I just—I was—I—

I went to the bathroom to splash my face with cold water. I stared at myself in the mirror but I looked so awful that I had to look away.

I could feel my eyes tearing up again, but I bit lip and took deep breaths to calm myself. Then, I threw a trench coat over my crumpled t-shirt and baggy jeans.

Before going out, I covered my scent and aura to avoid being discovered sneaking up by a full-fledged demon such as Sesshomaru.

Without hesitation, I went outside in the cold.

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I walked for hours, not knowing where to go. It was winter, and I was really frozen even in my coat.

I saw Christmas decors around on so many houses. I heard happy songs playing in the background. I could feel the happiness and peacefulness Christmas brought, but it never reached my heart.

This was the time of the year dedicated for families.

But, I didn’t have a family.

I passed by a bakery, my gaze locking on the cinnamon bread I used to buy for Christmas because it's Inuyasha's favorite.

I closed my eyes for a while, and moved on towards the flower shop next door.

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I watched our house from afar. I gave it up during the divorce. After everything that happened, I didn’t want to live there. I just can't.

I could feel hot tears cascading down my face. I could feel my lungs struggling to get some air.

Why have we come to an end? Why did he hurt me so much? Why can't I accept everything?

Then, I saw children singing carols in the front gate. Inuyasha and Kikyou went out with a smile, their eyes shining with happiness, and their hands intertwined together.

Inuyasha tucked a feat behind her ear, smiling sweetly to her. They went inside again, laughing and flirting.

I can't help it, I sobbed and put my forehead on the icy tree trunk in front of me, concealing me from their view. I cried and asked so many 'whys' inside my head. I asked and prayed for answers and salvation and I can't stop crying and asking and—

Live, and stop holding on to his broken vows

Sesshomaru's voice echoed inside my head.

How can I stop the bleeding of my heart? How can I stop loving him?

Slowly, I dragged myself towards the front gate, and breathe a sigh of hopelessness, and I put the flowers I've bought for him inside the gate.

I'm sure he'd know the message behind these flowers.

It was bluebells. A sign of gratitude.

I smiled sadly.

Thank you, Inuyasha. I whispered in the cold wind. Thank you for all the happy times.

After that, I fleeted away.

And found myself on the hill a few blocks away from where Sango's lives, where my son hoped for my return, where Sesshomaru waited for me to wake up from my—how did he put it?—winter sleep.

For the past few months, I lived in a perpetual darkness where bitterness and heartbreak caged me in, not letting any sliver of hope and light in. But, I had to break through this…cage I'd surrounded myself in.

I had a son.

I had friends.

I had a…life.

I had to put an end to my misery. I had to let go. Let him fly high with his newfound love.

"Inuyasha!" I screamed as loud as I can. "Why did you leave me? I still love you, you cheater!"

I stopped as a sob tore through me.

"I'm letting you—I'll try to let you go! Why do I keep on asking why anyway? I have to—Damn it. I'd give away my soul if I could just hold you once again." I whispered the last words and fell to the ground, dry heaving.

"Kagome." I whipped my head at the sound of Sesshomaru's firm voice.

He stood there, hands in pocket. Looking collected unlike me.

He walked and sat beside me without another word.

"In another life, I'd never let our promise end," I told him. "I—I don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning," he said, his eyes staring straight ahead, impassive.

"W—what?"

"You cannot start anything if you do not meet an end. End this chain connecting you to him, unchain your heart that is still holding on, and only then will you be able to find a new beginning to start with," he said impassively, but his voice his firm, almost commanding.

I stared at him then at the snowflakes, falling slowly, and landing gently on the sidewalk.

"Come with me in America," he said, looking at me now. "I'll lead you to your new beginning."

He gave me a faint smile, and stood up. "They await you at home," he said, offering me his hand.

"Home…" I repeated, a soft smile painting my face.

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Prompts: The Soundtrack Challenge – Winter Sleep

Avadrea's Oddities Challenge – Feat (dangling piece of curly hair)

Language of Flower Challenge – Bluebell (gratitude)

Sunset Miko's Once A Week Challenge – Bleed

Stella's Word Prompt Game – Perpetual

Spicy Challenge - Cinnamon

Word Count: 1400