The Perfect Mate by BelovedStranger

Heartsick

AUTHOR'S NOTE: UNEDITED VERSION!! NOW EDITED!!

Prompts used from Stella Mira's Latin Challenge: 

1) Attacktu—by touch, by contact

2) Blanditia—flattery, allurement, attraction, charm

3) Hiems—winter, the cold of winter; storming weather, storm

4) Ligurio—to lick, lick up; to gloat over; long for

5) Nisquam—nowhere, on no occasion, for nothing; at no place

6) Basium—a kiss

7) Hactenus—as far as this, so far and no farther

8) Mane—in the morning, early

The sun began its lazy trek into the sky, banishing the night with its early morning brilliance. However, the wonders of a new day were lost on the occupants in the small cave at the base of a mountain somewhere in the Western Territory, many miles from Sesshomaru’s stronghold. While one slept in the arms of the other, weary eyes glanced quickly around the small clearing outside of the cave before resting on the slumbering girl’s face with heart wrenching love.

Sai, still wearing Haru’s body, cuddled Kagome close, trying to keep her miko warm as the cave had grown cold during the long, moonless night. Luckily, the rising sun fell on them at the cave’s entrance, further bringing warmth back into Kagome’s chilled body. Finally, Kagome was where she belonged—with her.

Fearing rejection and animosity from Kagome should she wake to her true form, Sai had decided to remain as Haru for now, at least until she came up with some way to regain Kagome’s trust. The fact that her miko probably still had ill feelings towards her hurt like a knife to the heart. How was it possible for Sai to hold so dear someone who cared not at all for her in return? Worse, Kagome thought her the enemy, someone not to be trusted let alone loved.

Sai’s heart constricted for what seemed like the thousandth time at the thought. But like always, unshakable conviction would restore her mood. There had to be a way to prove herself worthy. She just had to find the answer. If only Kagome would open her eyes and look up at her with those beautiful dark eyes of hers. It would go a long way of reassuring Sai that she was alright. After being hit on the head from her battle with the Eastern Lord, Kagome had not yet regained consciousness.

Why? What could be wrong? Sai feared Kagome had sustained an injury that could be fatal for a human, and yet she lived and breathed, so why did she remain asleep? Was she merely overly tired? Was she recovering? Sai just didn’t know, and the uncertainty was killing her.

Lifting a shaking hand, she stroked Kagome’s cheek and leaned down until her lips were near her miko’s ear.

“Everything’s alright now,” she murmured with a catch in her voice. “Please, wake. I’m here. I’m here.”

Like before when she’d tried to wake her, Kagome did not respond but remained sleeping peacefully—or so it seemed.

Tears filled her eyes as she choked on her next breath, almost sobbing. Gathering her miko close, Sai held her to her breast.

“Kagome,” she whispered, tears in her voice.

“Nnn…can’t…breathe…”

Sai blinked, surprised, her heart almost stopping dead in her chest at the weak, whispered voice.

“Kagome?!”

Leaning back, she watched as Kagome blinked her eyes open.

“Haru?” she asked, confused. Then she looked around them. Panic entered her chocolate orbs when she brought them back to Sai’s. “Where are we? What happened? Where’s Katasurou?”

“Shsh,” shushed Sai, tenderly brushing a wisp of Kagome’s black hair away from her face. “Do not fret, miko-dono. You’re safe here.”

“Tell me what happened,” Kagome demanded not unkindly, grabbing onto Sai’s arm. “Where are we? And where’s Sesshomaru?”

Sai’s expression, which had been open and filled with strong emotions Kagome couldn’t place, turned closed, shuttered, worrying her further.

“Tell me!”

“Everything’s alright. After you were knocked unconscious, Sesshomaru-sama appeared, saving you. I followed after hearing about your situation, and he told me to take you to safety. We are away from his castle, hidden in this cave, awaiting for the signal that all is safe.” Then in a worried tone, she said, “You worried me. You did not wake for hours and all through the night.”

Kagome blinked in confusion.

“It’s a new day already?” Then she darted a glance outside and noted that Haru was right, the sun was in a different position than before. It was past dawn but still morning. “I-I didn’t realize I slept so long. Why didn’t you wake me? And why hasn’t Sesshomaru already come for us?”

“I could not wake you,” Haru answered gravely. Then she asked, “Are you hungry? Thirsty? I can catch you something to eat and there’s a spring farther in the cave.”

Surprisingly, even though it had been many hours since last she’d eaten, Kagome realized that she wasn’t hungry, but she was thirsty.

“Ah, water would be great, thank you. I’m not really hungry right now.”

“You should eat something and keep your strength up,” Haru said, the worry not leaving her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I will. Later. Right now, I just want something to drink and maybe a bath.” Looking around again, she muttered, “Although, I think a bath is out of the question for now.”

“You could use the spring, miko-dono. It’s a large enough pool. I can show you.”

Miko-dono… Why was Haru being so formal with her again? Had she ever even called her that before? It sounded…familiar somehow. Inwardly shaking herself, Kagome accepted. Maybe after she had a nice cool bath—hopefully it wasn’t too chilly—she’d sort things out and maybe convince Haru they didn’t need to wait for Sesshomaru to come and get them and travel back themselves. Though she’d obviously slept for hours and hours after getting her head bashed in, she felt fine.

When Haru assisted her to her feet, it was only then that she realized she’d been lying across Haru’s lap. Never before had her friend been the one to initiate any kind of contact when she wasn’t helping her change her bandages, helping her get dressed or doing her hair.

She must have been really worried about me, thought Kagome, feeling guilty over the fact and for how short she’d been with her upon waking. Thinking Haru would go back to being formal, she was surprised when instead, she felt her hand being clasped. However, she did not pull away and squeezed Haru’s hand reassuringly, before allowing herself to be led deeper into the cave.

With her new enhanced sight and with the sun’s light filtering into the cave, Kagome saw the small pool, grateful it wasn’t too much farther in the dank place. Glancing around the rock floor, unable to help herself, she looked for spiders or other creepy crawlies. Though she’d been traveling around the Feudal Era for two years now, fighting creatures that should have put any bug to shame, she still feared those eight legged freaks. Kagome hated spiders. Lucky for her, she saw none.

Being so used to Haru’s assistance by now when undressing, Kagome waited a few heartbeats when they stopped by the pool—one she feared would be cold by the looks of it. Not that she completely minded so long as she could get the dust and sweat off her body. When Haru made no move to help her undress, Kagome looked up at her.

“Are you alright, Haru?”

Haru seemed to snap out of some inner thought before returning her stare.

“What? Oh, no. I am well. Are you alright?”

“Ah, yes. I mean…you usually help me… Never mind.” Kagome laughed awkwardly, wondering why she felt so uncomfortable around her friend. Obviously, she was overthinking things.

“Oh, right! Of course. Let me help.”

“No, you don’t have—“

Haru’s hands at her back, untying her obi, silenced her, and like so many times before, she submitted to another helping her. She really didn’t need—or really want—help, but Haru had always seemed hurt if she could not perform her maid-like duties for her.

Sai’s fingers were shaking ever so slightly as she untied the elegant knot. Fumbled was a more apt description. Was she really about to see her Kagome in the nude for the first time? She could hardly believe it—or wait. It was like a dream come true… Until she remembered that Kagome had no idea who was actually assisting her into the makeshift bath. That put a dampener on things but not for long.

As soon as she folded and set aside Kagome’s obi, her miko was already shrugging out of her outer kimono. Without really knowing what she was doing, having never before handling such expensive garments before, Sai decided not to fold the graceful fabric and lay it over a boulder, hoping it wouldn’t wrinkle further than it already was.

Then she was standing before Kagome, her fingers trembling anew as she untied Kagome’s one inner garment, and briefly clasped the two halves before parting them. What was revealed to her damn near stole what little breath she had left in her lungs.

“Beautiful.”

“What?” Kagome asked, shocked and wide eyed, staring up at her with a confused expression.

Realizing she must had said it out loud, Sai inwardly cursed.

“Uh…y-your kimono. It’s beautiful,” she quickly made up off the top of her head, only to curse herself silently again. How stupid was that? Kagome would never believe such a bold faced lie. Her ruse was revealed. Kagome was going to be—

“Oh, thank you. When you picked it out for me yesterday morning, I thought so, too.” Then Kagome smiled, unaware.

Sai couldn’t help but stare at the human woman as if she had lost her mind, but then she inwardly shook herself. Perhaps it wasn’t completely a bad thing at how naïve Kagome could be…and dense. Still, she loved the foolish ningen.

“Let’s get you in and out of the water quickly. I don’t want you catching a chill and getting sick.”

Humans are so frail, Sai thought with some worry. How was she to care for Kagome when she inevitably got sick? Well, she’d just have to improvise.

With that settled, Sai couldn’t help but covertly stare at Kagome’s bare flesh, feeling her blood heat at the bewitching sight. She was glorious, beauty incarnate. None of her fantasies had ever come close to comparing with the reality. Her fingers itched to cup Kagome’s buttocks when the firm globes taunted her with their perfection as she walked away.

Sai was instantly brought out of her lust induced haze when Kagome entered the water and screeched.   

“Kagome!” she cried, charging forward to stand at the water’s edge, glancing into the clear pool for any sign of danger. “What is it? Are you alright?”

Shivering, Kagome nodded jerkily. “Yes. It’s just…really, really cold!”

Sighing in relief, Sai made a hasty decision and swiftly started undressing. Kagome didn’t seem to notice, having submerged herself, only to reappear in a rush, shivering, teeth chattering loudly. At least she’d kept her hair up with her hands and out of the water.

Entering the pool just behind Kagome, Sai had to grit her teeth as the frigid water engulfed her skin almost to her waist. It was indeed cold, very cold. There was no way she was about to allow her miko to linger in the pool, fearing she’d catch her death.

Reaching out, she touched Kagome’s shoulder lightly. Jumping in surprise, Kagome wheeled around.

“Oh, Haru. You startled me.” Crossing her arms, hiding her cold hardened nipples, hopefully in an effort to get warm and not in defense of her nakedness, Kagome tried to smile, but her lips trembled too much for that.

“Did you want a quick bath, too?”

Gritting her teeth at the hated name, wanting to be called by her own, Sai nodded, reaching for her again. Her hands traveled over Kagome’s chilled flesh, feeling how soft her skin was.

“You wounds have healed.”

“Yeah. Isn’t it great?” Though Kagome’s words implied that it was a good thing, her eyes filled with sadness. “My youki has strengthened greatly since the first time Sesshomaru had…given me some of his.”

Sai blinked, slowly coming to realize that Sesshomaru had somehow been the cause of Kagome’s growth in youki. Of course she’d learned that Kagome had dormant youki housed within her, leaked from the Jewel—the same shards that hung from her neck—but she was not completely aware of the specifics.

Turning her miko around gently with a hand on her shoulder, she started rubbing cool water along Kagome’s back and arms, ‘cleaning’ her. What she was really doing was finding any excuse she could think of to touch all that bare skin. Just how far would she be allowed to go without being stopped… No! Stop thinking of that. Now was not the time to…proposition her miko without her realizing something was off about her maid and run away.

Fishing for information, she asked, “How does Sesshomaru-sama help?”

Not realizing the real Haru already knew of such intimate details, Sai was confused when Kagome remained silent. Then, as if nothing were amiss, Kagome hesitantly answered.

“He…ah…kisses me and feeds his youki inside me that way. To strengthen my own of course. At least that’s how it started,” she babbled.

He kissed her?!

Sai wanted to do murder for the liberties Sesshomaru had taken with her miko.

While Sai was battling her feelings of jealousy, Kagome was filled with renewed trepidation. The thought that she would one day soon be transformed into a youkai was ever at the back of her mind. One would think she’d be resigned to the thought by now, but she wasn’t. She was scared. Impulsively, she turned fast—too fast for a human, but she hardly noticed—and flung herself at Haru, hugging her like she was a lifeline.

When she stiffened, Kagome didn’t care. She needed comfort, and Haru was her friend, right? Surely it wasn’t too much to ask for a little comfort in her time of emotional turmoil. Haru would understand, right?

“Miko…dono..?”

Tightening her arms around Haru, uncaring that they both were naked, she clung to her friend. “I’m scared,” she whispered into the other woman’s neck.

Kagome wasn’t aware that her closeness was having strong, uncontrollable physical responses from Haru. She didn’t notice how Haru’s breath caught or how her heart skipped a beat before speeding up.

While Kagome tried not to cry, Sai was having a difficult time focusing on anything other than the soft flesh pressed wantonly against her own. Until she registered her miko’s words. Sai instantly wrapped her arms around Kagome.

“Why? There’s nothing to fear while I am around. I’ll protect you, Kagome. Always.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

Kagome leaned back and gazed up at Sai with such a forlorn expression, all of Sai’s lust evaporated in the face of such devastation. Wordlessly, she picked up Kagome and stepped out of the pool. Using Kagome’s inner garments, Sai briskly dried her, ignoring how her fingers wanted to linger and caress. She felt like a letch for desiring intimacies while Kagome was emotionally distraught.

Minutes later, they both were dressed—minus Kagome’s soaked inner haori—Sai once again sat at the entrance of the cave with Kagome on her lap and held securely in her arms, allowing the sun to warm them both.

“Tell me what troubles you,” Sai implored.

Then it all came gushing out, how Kagome was scared that every time she used her reiki, her youki would interfere. She talked about the mark on her side, what she and Sesshomaru had learned from Bokusenou, and the inevitable change and risk to her life.

“And I think I just made war between the East and West,” finished Kagome with a wail of despair, fearing how Sesshomaru would feel after her blunder. Would he hate her? Want nothing more to do with her after she’d unwittingly destroyed the alliance between the two territories? The thought wasn’t to be born. She couldn’t live with herself if Sesshomaru hated her and wanted nothing more to do with her.

“No, no, Kagome. None of this is your fault,” Sai reassured her. “And if you do turn into a youkai? It doesn’t matter, because I will always be here for you, never leave your side. I’ll help you get through this. I promise you. And who knows? You might actually like being a demon.”

Perhaps she’d said the wrong thing.

“Weren’t you listening?” Kagome asked, not unkindly. “Without Sesshomaru’s aid, I’ll most likely die!”

“Show me this mark…”

In seconds, with Kagome still sprawled over Sai’s lap, her kimono was opened, both disregarding the fact that she was bare to anyone who might happen by the cave’s entrance. They were too busy staring at the grey mark along her side.

“Oh, God! It’s already on my breast! It’s almost reached my heart. But…how?!” After a brief pause as they stared with varying degrees of worry, Kagome gasped. “Katasurou! It must have grown after my youki rose while we fought. Oh, no,” she moaned.

Hearing about it and actually seeing the ominous mark drifting ever closer to her miko’s heart scared her shitless. Was she really going to die? No! Absolutely not! After all the demons she had absorbed since her rebirth, surely she was strong enough to convert Kagome successfully? They didn’t need Sesshomaru-sama’s help. While she closed and retied Kagome’s clothes and obi, another idea sparked. Surely if she were the one to help Kagome through this life-threatening change, her miko would realize that she—as Sai—would never harm her. Surely, Kagome would look past her previous association with Naraku and come to…love her, too?

“It grows every time I use my youki,” murmured Kagome fearfully. “One more time… I’m sure if it happens again I’ll…transform.”

Hearing this, Sai felt her heart clench painfully at the terror in Kagome’s voice and scent; however, she wanted to force the change. Here. Now. Just one more offering of youki, right? And the deed would be done. Sai refused to think that she wouldn’t be strong enough to help Kagome through this ordeal. She was strong, capable. She could do this. Hopefully, Kagome wouldn’t be too angry with her afterwards.

Sai was so desperate to reveal her true identity and the love she felt for Kagome, that all rational thought fled. She had just grabbed Kagome’s chin, angling her face towards her own, planning to kiss her, when they were interrupted by a voice they both recognized.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Poor Sai. So close to the one she loves yet so far away. And who found them? Lucky readers, there is one more update today, so you won't have to agonize over the answer.