But I Can't Love You Back... by ForgottenOncePromised

But I Can't Love You Back...

A/N: Hello Everyone! This is my first Sesshomaru and Kagome only story and my first post here on Dokuga! Note that this story is unedited, unless you count by me but I suck at editing my own stuff, so please be nice if things don't sound right! This is a One-Shot Song Fic. to the song ‘I Can’t Love You Back’ by ‘Easton Corbin’. How this story came about? You ask. Well, the other day I was listening to this song on repeat (Don’t ask me why I was listening to it on repeat because I have no idea why.) and this idea just popped into my head and I just had to get it out. Sesshomaru may be little out of character, just so you are warned. I hope you all enjoy it. Please Read and Review!

-Forgotten!

Sirens of different emergency vehicles were blaring as they arrived on the scene – someone must have snapped out of it to call the accident in. People had stopped on the sidewalks, to stop and stare at the horrifying scene in front of them. It had happened fast. Too fast, that no one really had enough time to really understand what really happened. There was metal in big and small pieces, everywhere. People who were nearby, snapped out it quickly. Some were shouting while others were helping where they could. Whether it was with trying to piece together what had happened or trying to help those with minor injuries; so medical aid could get to those who needed it more.

Chaos, but organized chaos, was what was happening.

The emergency personal arrived, and the civilians who help, were appreciated before asked nicely to move out of the way.

Teams of firemen began going around cutting through the metal wreckage, with paramedics to aid the people trapped inside. Police went around taking statements on what exactly had happened to cause such a horrifying accident, all the while setting up barriers.

When a team of firemen and paramedics got to her car, they couldn’t help but be shocked at who it was.

–.*.–
I can love you in the morning,
I can love you all day.
I can love you even more when you get home.
I can love you every second,
till the ends of the Earth.
Where needing you is the only thing that’s on,
my broken one track mind.
–.*.–

“Love you, Sesshomaru, I’ll be back soon.” A raven haired woman said before bending over and kissing her husband on the cheek. But before he could stop for a second and kiss her back she had straightened and turned to leave; only to stop in the doorway to his office and wave, the making the sunlight from the window glint off her the diamond embedded in her engagement ring.

“It should not take too long, right?” He asked.

“It shouldn’t, maybe hour at most. But with traffic I should back in an hour and half. Hopefully, that is.”

“Alright, drive carefully. This Sesshomaru will await your return. This Sesshomaru loves you, Kagome.” Sesshomaru whispered in her ear after getting up and going over to her, putting his hand on her cheek with a gentle caress, before kissing her. When he pulled back, her icy blue eyes were shinning with happiness.

With one more kiss the raven haired woman now known as Kagome, left his office grabbing her purse, which was on the table right inside the office by the door, and left the building.

Kagome always thought it was always nice to hear him say those words to her. It wasn’t often that he did. Don’t get her wrong and say that he didn’t love her just he didn’t say it often. He made sure she knew he loved her, he showed it in many different ways. In the things he did for her – things that may be small to him but were monumental to her. These things also made the few times he said the words aloud, even more special.

As she rode down in the elevator to the parking garage and got in her car, she got the feeling something was going to happen.

She just didn’t know how right she was.

–.*.––.*.–

It wasn’t long after that that she was pulling up to a red light at an intersection in the city when that feeling came back.

It happened when the red light turned to green on her side and she was making her turn. Turning her head, she knew what, what was going to happen.

It was like the driver didn’t know it was a red light on his side and he didn’t see her.

I love you, Sesshomaru…

–.*.––.*.–

There, in the middle of one of the busiest intersections, was one of the biggest car accidents in Tokyo.

Everyone in the area froze for what seemed like forever.

Sirens of different emergency vehicles were blaring as they arrived on the scene – someone must have snapped out of it to call the accident in. People had stopped on the sidewalks, to stop and stare at the horrifying scene in front of them. It had happened fast. Too fast, that no one really had enough time to really understand what really happened. There was metal in big and small pieces, everywhere. People who were nearby, snapped out it quickly. Some were shouting while others were helping where they could. Whether it was with trying to piece together what had happened or trying to help those with minor injuries; so medical aid could get to those who needed it more.

Chaos, but organized chaos, was what was happening.

The emergency personal arrived, and the civilians who help, were appreciated before asked nicely to move out of the way.

Teams of firemen began going around cutting through the metal wreckage, with paramedics to aid the people trapped inside. Police went around taking statements on what exactly had happened to cause such a horrifying accident, all the while setting up barriers.

When a team of firemen and paramedics got to her car, they couldn’t help but be shocked at who it was.

–.*.–
Girl, I love you crazy.
It comes so easy, after all we had.
I could love you with all my heart,
but the hardest part is,
I just can't love you back
–.*.–

Sesshomaru Taisho was in the middle of a meeting at the head of the table, but he couldn’t keep from glancing to his right where his wife was supposed to be taking notes. She was supposed to be here an hour ago, he thought.

It was then there was a knock on the door before it opened showing one of the secretaries, interrupting the current speaker.

“What is the meaning of this?” Sesshomaru demanded from his seat. Then noticed that it was his wife’s best friend – some she considered a sister – Sango. She was also his friend Miroku’s wife.

“Mr. Taisho, I am very sorry for interrupting, but there has been an accident and Kagome was involved. The hospital just called.”

“Kagome? Which hospital? This Sesshomaru will be there in a moment. You are to go get your things a make sure someone takes over your station. You are coming, for this Sesshomaru knows you will come no matter what. Be ready in five minutes or this Sesshomaru leaves without you.” Told her as he almost jumping to his feet.

“Very well, sir.” Sango said with a quick bow before turning and leaving.

“It seems this Sesshomaru, will have to reschedule this meeting till another day. Something important seems to have come up and needs to be taken care of.” Sesshomaru said as he gathered his things to leave.

He noticed his father, half-brother and Miroku do the same out of the corner of his eye.

“Very well, Mr.Taisho. We will be in contact soon. I hope your wife is alright.” They said before leaving themselves.

–.*.––.*.–

Running to his office, Sesshomaru wondered what had happened with Kagome. He quickly put everything down on his desk before grabbing his jacket, locking the door before leaving.

When he arrived at the elevator, he noticed everyone was there. “Which hospital was it?”

“Shikon.” Sango answered without a second of hesitation.

–.*.––.*.–

 Arriving quickly at Shikon Hospital, Sesshomaru looked for the nearest doctor, finding on quickly he walked over to them.

“This Sesshomaru would like to know where my wife Kagome Taisho is. This Sesshomaru was told she was here.”

Turning face the man who asked to see his wife, the doctor saw one of the most powerful men in all of Japan. Sesshomaru Taisho. That’s when his question registered.

Sesshomaru saw the grave look on the doctor’s face; he then knew something was wrong. Once everyone had caught up to Sesshomaru, he barely saw Sango move and stand next to her husband.

 “Mr. Taisho, you might want to sit down.” The doctor suggested. But before he could continue a police officer walked up to them.

He was tall, standing about six foot, and had emerald eyes filled with grief. He had fiery red hair that was long and was tied back. He knew this man, his name was Shippou Akitsune, he had grown up with his wife – they were like brother and sister to each other. They were still that close.

His partner – who was a little ways away behind him – was a little shorter than him. His brown eyes grave, like he didn’t want to be there for whatever reason they were here for, and his long wavy black hair free. His name tag on his uniform read ‘Onigumo’.

“This Sesshomaru is fine standing.”

“Very well, Mr.Taisho,” the doctor replied. She had brown eyes that were tired looking. Her long raven black hair was up in a makeshift bun with a few loose strands hanging; he also noticed she had a pen sticking through it. She wore matching blue scrubs. “Earlier this afternoon, around three p.m. there was a car accident at one of the busiest intersection in the city. Mr. Taisho your wife was that car accident.” He said before pausing. But before he could continue he was interrupted.

“This Sesshomaru demands to see her!” Sesshomaru demanded. Why! Why were they delaying him from seeing his wife?

“As I was saying, she was in the car accident. The driver who caused the accident was drunk and was driving a dump truck that was from the construction site too far from the intersection.” She paused for a second then looked Sesshomaru in the eyes, and Sesshomaru knew. “…She was in the car that got originally hit. By some miracle, she was still alive when they found her but passed away while on route to the nearest hospital which happened to be here.”

Time seemed to slow down as he heard her speak. For a second there he had hoped that she was fine, only to have his hopes bashed to the ground when he heard the end. The mask he kept on his dropped and everything he was feeling showed. The pain he was feeling where his heart should be. The anger he was feeling was directed at the both of them – at Kagome for leaving him and at the driver for taking her away from him. And as the seconds ticked by he couldn’t stop the onslaught of emotions taking over him. Sesshomaru could stop his knees from shaking seconds before they gave out and he collapsed and fell to his knees. His brother and father were at his side as soon as hit the ground. He could hear them calling his name, but he couldn’t respond.

All he could think was: Why her? Why his Kagome?

–.*.–
I could write a thousand letters,
call a hundred times a day,
or try to drown my sorrow at the bar.
I could go down to the church,
get on my knees and pray.
But it still won't change the way things really are.
Won't bring you back again.
–.*.–

Sitting at his desk with a notebook in front of him, Sesshomaru stared at the almost blank page.

It has been just over four months since his wife had passed and he still couldn’t believe she was gone. His father, having gone through the same thing with both of his wives, tried to get him to talk but he wouldn’t and ignored him. His half-brother tried as well by starting more fights with him, but that just ended up with InuYasha always losing and in pain and a pissed Sesshomaru. Not matter what anyone tried, he would lock himself away.

The day and the days following that his beautiful Kagome died, he barely held himself together for their four children. His four children had taken the news hard, especially his little girl, Rin. Who was the spitting image of her mother, but had hazel brown eyes that she got from her grandmother. She was the youngest, at only six years old, but she understood that her mother was gone and not coming back. He had held as she cried herself to sleep. Crying for the mother that would never come and comfort her; that would never play with her again. Never scold her or encourage her. That would not be there for all those important moment and thing in her life that had just barely begun.

Daichi, the oldest at the age of fifteen, who was the spitting image of Sesshomaru from the silver hair to his golden eyes, had taken it just as bad but had not shown it till he thought he was alone days later. He had gone upstairs and into their room, before lying down on his mother’s side of the bed with one of his mother’s shirts press to his face and cried. That was where Sesshomaru found moments later. Sesshomaru and gone over and gently picked him and held him. Daichi, although he was a mini–Sesshomaru in personality but knew when to open up to others, had always been close to his mother and loved her dearly.

Sora was the perfect mixture of both of his parents, with his silver and raven mixed hair and personality of both of his parents, but had his mother’s icy blue eyes. He was the first born of twins and a middle child. His twin sister, Ame, was a spitting image of their mother, from her personality to her icy blue eyes to her raven hair. Sora and Ame, who were both ten years old, were not afraid to show their tears in front of others. They stood there in front of everyone holding their hands together, like they always did, with tears rolling down their faces.

–.*.––.*.–

Turing his attention back to the notebook in front of him, he continued with his new habit that was done both during the day and night, he continued writing till he was satisfied before putting the notebook in the drawer of his desk. Writing letters that he would never send and she would never get.

To him it was like she was in front of him and he was having a one conversation with her. They ranged from different topics. From telling her about how the children and everyone are doing. To how greatly he missed her. To different problems she would have problem solving if she were here. To how he wished she was here with him.

It was the only thing he could do to handle things, nowadays.

Even if it barely worked, it was better than the other things he could do. But no matter what…he still couldn’t believe she was gone.

–.*.––.*.–

Five days later after the accident, the funeral had been held. Sesshomaru held it together that day, acting like his normal self with mask firmly in place. Only the people who knew him well enough could tell how much pain he was in.

The first couple of weeks Sesshomaru had taken off of work. After about a week his father had taken the children for a couple of days, so he could have some time to himself and let his guard down, with no one around.

He could remember those few days clearly.

After father had left he grabbed his phone and hers, before just sitting down on their bed, staring at it. It had been about an hour after his father had left; that he had finally did what he was going to do. While holding his phone to his ear and Kagome’s battered one in his other, he called hers letting it go to voice mail, just so he could hear her voice again.

Later that night while out walking that very same night, he had come across a church. He had never been very religious in his life, and didn’t know what came over him in that moment. He walked up the doors and found them unlocked before walking in. Walking in a few feet and looking around, he noticed he didn’t know what to do next. Would he just stand there, looking? Or was he going to go in farther and sit down? And if he did sit down, was he going to pray to some God or Gods, asking all the questions he had? Asking – begging and pleading – to give her back to him? Like he had so many times before and they didn’t? Tell them he would do anything, anything, to have just one more day with her?

Turning around, not ever noticing the priest standing there or the tears running down his own face, he left.

Noticing, for the first in a long, long time that he didn’t have the answers he wished he had. Answers he had no way to get.

He tried drinking his sorrows away. Even when he knew it wouldn’t work, but he did anyway. Yup, he spent the next night drinking, alone in, the–, his room, staring out at the garden he had made as a gift for her.

–.*.–
Girl, I love you crazy.
It comes so easy, after all we had.
I could love you with all my heart,
but the hardest part is,
I just can't love you back
–.*.–

Sesshomaru could remember with great clarity, despite how drunk he had been at that very moment, when he showed it to her then asked her for the question he had been dying to ask her a while…to marry him.

Kagome had been out of town for a month, and he’d been thinking of ways to ask her to marry him. So while thinking through what she liked, he remembered that she loved to garden. So while she had been away he had it constructed for her. The day before Kagome was to come home, he had asked her sister like friend, Sango, if she would help him pick out the perfect ring.

They had gone to five different stores and taken all morning, but they had had found the perfect ring. It was simple but elegant. It had a simple white gold with two small teardrop shape blue topaz stones that sparkled and matched her eyes, with a simple diamond in the center.

He had left instructions with Jakken, his driver, butler, and assistant, to pick her up from the airport and driver her home – and not to tell her anything. He knew that by the time she had gotten home, it would be around dinner time and would be hungry. The cooks had made dinner for two and had set up a table for two in the middle of the newly made garden.

Sesshomaru had met her at the door, his arms folded behind his back just looking at her when she walked in the door. The look she had given her had almost made him break his mask and chuckle at that moment. He had walked forward and given her his arm, and when she finally had taken it, he started to lead her toward the back sliding door which led the back yard.

“Close your eyes.” Sesshomaru asked as he led her.

“Sesshomaru? What are you doing? What’s going on?” Kagome asked. Wondering what he could possibly be doing. “What are you up to?”

“You will see in a moment. Just close your eyes.”

After giving a wary look, she did, letting him led her to where ever it was he was leading her. He was acting weird, but he must have a reason.

After what seemed like forever, but had only been a couple minutes, they arrived wherever he had wanted to go. After making sure her eyes were still closed, Sesshomaru moved around to stand in back of her with his arms lightly around her waist. “You can open them now.” He whispered into her ear, causing her to shiver. He had heard he gasp as she took in the sight before her.

The garden had been made up of different types of flowers in different areas, with walking paths twining in and out between each different patch. In the middle of the garden was a small fountain.

After eating, he got up walked over to her before asking while holding out his hand. “Will you join me on taking a walk?”

“Yes, I would like that.” Kagome had answered taking his hand and smiling blindingly at him. When they had got the section with that was taken up by the different types of roses, he stopped, which caught her attention, reached into his pocket pulled something out.

“Turn around.” He whispered. After another look at him, she did. He took her long silky raven hair and up on shoulder before opening the box and taking and necklace out and putting it on her. He leaned forward slightly and whispered into her ear. “Marry me.”

He saw her look down at the necklace then at him. She had tears in her eyes when she turned around. Next thing he knew he was on the ground laughing – something he only really did around her when they were alone – with chanting ‘Yes’ over and over again in his ear.

–.*.–
I can love you for all I'm worth.
To the ends of the earth,
but I just can't love you back
–.*.–

That night when finished remember that memory and came back to reality, he couldn’t stop all of the memories and times they spent together, from pouring in.

That night was spent on drinking and memories.

The following morning when he woke up, he knew he couldn’t help but love her for he was worth.

But he just couldn’t love her back.

–.*.––.*.–

I love you, My Kagome…