To Be Free by sesshykagslvr

Where Do They Go From Here

Merry Christmas Dokuga! This chapter is soo past long overdue it isn't even funny. First let me say thank you for all of the AWESOME reviews and nods of encouragement from so many of you. Please know it was truly appreciated and I am very thankful soo many continued to read even when I was away for so long. This chapter is short but it is will let me move forward again. 

A very heartfelt thank you to my new beta Silvermoon and my friend Tessitura. Here you go and please let me know your thoughts or any questions you may have :)

Chapter 37 – Where Do They Go From Here

There was so much pain. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before. His entire form burned, from the claws on his toes to the tips of his ears. His body felt like it was melting from the outside in; slowly reducing him to nothing more than a trembling mass of painfully stimulated nerves. He could feel that he was slipping in and out of consciousness and he found himself praying, praying with a faith he didn’t really have that this time the pain would finally leave him in the dark where he could find peace.

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Broken thoughts and impressions pressed on his mind in between bouts of terrible pain. The look in Kagome’s eyes, never before had she looked at him with such finality. His hated half-brother had attacked him because of Kagome, for the honor of a less than half-breed pup? Nothing made much sense to his disabled mind at the moment. Sleep was a welcome reprieve.

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Still there was pain. How much more was he expected to endure, why was he made to suffer so? What else could he offer before it was deemed enough? Had he not fought hard enough just to survive, having been born to a human mother and a demon father thus making his hanyou form an abomination in both worlds? Had he not fought hard enough to gain the love and respect of an embittered woman burdened with an almost insurmountable task? When would it be deemed enough by those who would decide his fate that his pain should end?

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She was well aware that he was beyond what she knew to be misery since his aura was broadcasting his intense pain quite clearly. She honestly had not a care, which was the truth; she knew he deserved whatever he received at Sesshoumaru’s hands. If his sword was not needed during the final battle, she would have been satisfied to let the Demon Lord carry out his well-deserved vengeance. Inuyasha deserved worse than hell for the crimes he committed against a trusting, traumatized woman and an innocent newborn babe. All would be made to right and sooner then she knew he would be ready for; she could feel it in the portion of her shared soul. When the time came for Inuyasha to take responsibility for his sins, there would be no salvation offered.

Leaving her thoughts for the time being, she switched her focus to the bloodied cloth in the small bucket that sat next to the futon, wringing out the excess liquid so that she could resume the nasty business of cleaning the poisoned wounds that covered his body. It was by no means a pleasant job and she was tired of repeating the process. If it were not so vital he survive for the end that was destined to be, she would have no problem simply walking away and allowing fate to play out in this version versus the one that would satisfy the retribution that was due others later. It was very easy to sometimes forget how difficult it was to stay on the destined path. So very difficult indeed.

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Time passed as it was intended to do, and so with nothing left to her at the moment but time, she listened intently; his fevered conversations further exposing the hanyou for the cowardly filth he has become or probably always was. Not once during the entirety of his selfish rants did the hanyou accept responsibility for his actions against others; never did he acknowledge his own failings.

The boy was truly an honor less fool.

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Pacing was not a trait the Monk was commonly known for, nor was extreme worry. To see both being broadcast quite clearly by such a usually composed man left those in witness curiously startled and mildly concerned.

Sango was not sure what it was that encompassed the Monk’s thoughts so deeply that he showed physical signs of distress; his current actions could be interpreted as nothing else.

“What ails thee Monk?” A narrow eyed furrowed brow Kaede broke the tense silence, the only one confident enough to leave discretion wherever it may lay. However blunt it may well have been, it was a valid question that the worried slayer hoped would be answered; sooner rather than later. She and the aged priestess had long watched as a clearly disturbed Miroku searched for answers to whatever was troubling him so deeply in his soul.

After a time of continued silence on the part of Miroku, and an anxious Sango wishing he would break his quiet, Kaede spoke once more. “Is it our Kagome that troubles the heart so? Do ye feel it is an injustice to ye as a man who yearns for reprisal to allow another ye feel as inferior to complete a task ye thought would be yours?”

Two pairs of stunned eyes, one stared and the other glared at the elderly priestess. Sango was shocked that Kaede would be so cold to Miroku; she also did not understand how such a wise woman could come to think such foolhardy thoughts. Miroku was not the type of man who viewed the world in those common shades of black and white, bypassing any thoughts of grey. Miroku always saw what others missed; the hidden, the overlooked, the possibilities, her true potential. In Kagome’s regard, he well knew and understood the type of woman she was and lovingly embraced her passionate nature and fierce protectiveness toward those she deemed important to her heart. How could Kaede believe the words she so callously voiced?

“Ye look at me as if ye pride has been wounded, or is it that the truth of ye heart has been revealed when ye would wish it to remain hidden in false appreciation? Ye do us all a disfavor, pretending to support our Kagome while ye harbor feelings of discontent. It would do ye well to speak ye heart Monk.” Kaede finished her comment with an even harsher look of her own.

Miroku’s voice, raised in pained anger sounded out in the small hut. “How am I supposed to just let her go and do this thing? How do I accept that we are supposed to sit here and allow her to battle in our place? You say I feel inferior Kaede; it would be the truth that you speak. I feel weak, mediocre, unworthy as a man who claims to love that girl enough to give her my life if it was required of me. I sit in peace, surrounded by the calm, the serene yet she does not. She travels with a once enemy, learning what she should never have been forced to know; embracing and accepting things that are foreign to her very soul, even more so then because of the time she was born to. Why must she chose to be so selfless? What would she have me do when she has taken away my purpose, my retribution, my right? Why can she not let me love and protect her too?”

As Sango sat with silent tears trailing down her stained cheeks, Kaede sighed and allowed a small smile to grace her weathered face. “There we have it Monk,” she spoke in her thoughts, pleased she could begin to heal one whose heart was so hurt. She knew Miroku was torn between wanting to honor Kagome’s wishes and also those of his own heart. What he did not understand is Kagome’s true power and her real purpose here. Kagome needed to do this thing without those who would allow her to depend on them so. Had she allowed Miroku and Sango to participate in the battle to come, all would be lost as her focus would not be where it should; it would remain with her heart, which was held in part by both the Monk and the slayer. If they were to fall, so would she. Kagome knew this instinctually; it was time these two learned and understood as well.

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She sat in her father’s home as she continued to ponder on how she could keep her place of power. She refused to give up what was rightfully hers after her forced humiliation in bedding and then breeding for a cripple. She knew her father had his own motives and was more than likely planning to remove her from her position; regardless of her sacrifice. She however had another course of action her dear father would never even think to consider. A woman scorned for the affections of another would always be a reliable source of punishment; she only needed to find a way to get her mother to agree to provide aide.

Her mother truly resembled her name; a small reserved female for their species, she certainly embodied a fragile delicate lily. Although any with even a shred of common sense would know to be weary of her projected weakness. Many a reaper appeared in the form of an innocent beauty and her mother had mastered the art; her father oblivious to the wrath he kept sheltered within his own home.

Yes, Sayuri would be a powerful ally in her plans and she would even offer her mother the freedom she knew she sought from the unfaithful conniving warmonger she herself unfortunately called father; plans of success and her reign of power and glory were guaranteed. She could barely contain her excitement!

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She continued to stare at the cold stone wall, not really seeing what was in front of her as her mind was turned inward. The very recent visit from the demon Lord left her feeling hopeless and hopeful at the same time. If he would accept her offer, she would introduce a powerful ally that would help destroy that scheming bitch and her father from within; even avoid the war that seemed so very imminent.

Sayuri had been her only comfort besides her brother since the beginning of the hell she’d endured after being taken prisoner and made a whore. The Northern Lords mate placed no blame on her and even vowed to help her and her brother gain their freedom when the opportune time presented itself. She knew Sayuri had some form of an alliance with a very powerful demon. She had never been made aware of the specifics, but she trusted the Northern Queen more than any other and would continue to do so in the hopes that she would help her gain their promised freedom since she herself was as much a prisoner of her circumstances as were the enslaved siblings. Focusing again on her present surroundings, she surveyed her destroyed brother and again wished that the two of them could just disappear and leave it all. She understood that would never happen without some sacrifice on her part as her brother had already paid dearly for his current liberation; even if it was only an escape from sanity that he was granted. She would make sure they saw the true freedom they had been so long denied.

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Mayumi was well aware that she held no favor with her mother. She would need to be very persuasive with her words to ensure her mother saw the benefits to be had in a union with her. Her strongest bargaining chip would be to offer her mother the freedom she has lacked these many centuries. Seeing as she would now rule the West and the North once her father was destroyed, she thought it quite gracious of herself to allow her mother to live as she saw fit on her lands. She would even accept her council in certain matters and permit her continued residence in the Northern castle. She would never of course offer her the throne as that would take away from her own guaranteed power and she was quite certain her mother held no desire for it in any case. In her opinion it was a very rewarding proposition.

Heading toward her mother’s chambers on the opposite side of the castle, she flashed a beautifully deceitful smile, knowing that her plans were soon to come to fruition.

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Sayuri stared for some time at the little black shard she kept secreted from others as it was the only link she had to the one who promised to ensure her retribution. She knew what is was and what it meant for her in the very near future. He informed her he would be in contact when it was close to the time he would keep his word, and by entrusting her with what she currently held, she knew he would honor it.

Although she’d never met him face to face, his servant would deliver any correspondence verbally and then she would discreetly fly away on a breezy current; her feather carrying her high above sight and the wind blowing away any and all sound. Her idiotic mate and foolish daughter quite oblivious to it all.

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With the Western Lord returned, he would need to form an impenetrable battle strategy even if this was not a strong suit of his kind. There was no way he would squander this magnificent opportunity especially if the alternative was his daughter ruling the west. The useless bitch served no further purpose and he planned to soon end her pathetic existence in order to remove another impediment in his progress, however inadequate said obstruction was.

He was well aware that he had an ally in time itself. He needed to strike the dog now before he was able to assemble his troops in a befitting manner. If he attacked immediately, he could deal a blow the dog may not recover from especially with his focus so captured by the pup and his fool of a daughter.

Perhaps his daughter may have some purpose yet. He could send her to deal the blow that would destroy the dog. She held no love for the pup she birthed from her body as was well known; it would be no hardship for her to end his life.

Now to convince the simpleton to return and do what he required. It should not be too hard and he was well aware that she left her toy and was quite anxious to retrieve it.

If she happened to meet her end in the process, it could only be to his benefit as one less nuisance to attend.