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A Change of Destiny by bloody innocence

Her Pain

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha only the characters I make up and the plot of the story.

Chapter 1: Her Pain

Her 18th birthday was nothing short of a disaster.

It was supposed to be a happy carefree day. They planned on not searching for the shards that day and she would spend some time with her family on the other side of the well. For it had been far too long since she had last seen them. But as always nothing went as planned, it was that day that Naraku decided to show his face for a battle that was long overdue.

It was a long, terrifying and bloody day one in which Kagome was sure she would never forget for as long as she lived.

Kikyou had joined their group a few months prior and Inuyasha neither bothered nor cared to ask how it would make the rest of them feel.

It wasn't until a year after she had been pulled through the well that her young naive mind realised that Inuyasha could never love her the way she wanted him to. But knowing this didn't make the pain go away despite how much she wished she could stop loving him her heart still leapt with joy when he smiled at her.

Kagome had grown into a fine bautiful woman over the years but sadly never got around to controlling her immense spiritual powers, but her aim with the bow had improved greatly and no longer did she waste arrows on missed targets.

It put a strain on her soul whenever Kikyou was close.

Two pieces to one soul crying out to each other was unbearable she had to restrain herself at times from giving in and pulling in the rest of her soul to end the pain.

She hated to see Inuyasha worried so she never told him although the rest of their small group knew of her pain. So Miroku took it upon himself to teach her the fine arts of meditating.

It helped calm her soul and lessened the pain a bit. But it was extremely hard when Kikyou had joined their group because not only was her soul in turmoil each passing day but so was her heart even more so than ever before.

Her love for Inuyasha was so strong that she ignored the pain of waking up to the sight of them embracing.

She ignored the way he would yell at her about how much better Kikyou was in everything.

Instead she just smiled and never let herself cry anymore. She hated feeling weak so she would never allow herself to cry.

As stupid as it may sound it made her feel a bit stronger for a moment but left her weaker because she never got the chance to release all of her pent up sadness and frustration. But still she refused to cry.

Crying wouldn't make Inuyasha see her as more than just a friend so she held it all in.

She was useless there were so many times people reminded her of it.

She would never forget when the great youkai Lord's of Japan called upon her for her aide. They were battling infertility among their women.

Youkai women could no longer conceive and when they did no child lasted the full term they were devastated. How could a race continue to grow and prosper if no children could be born.

No youkai healer could find the cause so their last resort was to find a miko who would be willing to help.

Kagome's reputation as a miko who offered her help to humans and demons alike brought their attention to her. For the first time in a while they had hope. But she was untrained she only knew how to bandage wounds not focus her energies and find an illness in someone.

They were disappointed and some made sure she heard their opinions loud and clear. Inuyasha down talking her was enough but to hear there were others who shared his views of her was painful to hear.

Inuyasha of course tried to protect her but how do you protect someone from a Lord and so they left. Apparently he was the only one who could belittle her no one else. Stupid Inuyasha.

Once again she was a disappointment and Inuyasha reminded her that once again Kikyou was better. No, he did not say it to her but she knew from his parting words to his half brother.

"Perhaps Kikyou can help"

And help she did which Kagome later found out. A virus that she couldn't detect but Kikyou did.

Why couldn't she be like Kikyou. She wanted to be stronger, better but how do you train when all you do is travel, fight and sleep everything she knew was basically learn as you go.

Besides Inuyasha always protested whenever Miroku or Kaede tried to teach her anything whenever they took a break in the village. She wished she knew why but perhaps she would never know. Inuyasha was confusing at times.

She wanted to prove to everyone that she wasnt so weak, she wanted to be stronger because then maybe everyone will stop looking down on her.

She wanted to mean something to people.

She wanted to be able to help people but how could she when she was so weak.

Kagome was by no means a jealous person but it was hard not to feel it every now and then. And in those moments she hated herself for it but she was human and felt all the emotions everyone else felt rather they were good or bad.

Jealousy never lead to anything good and right now she was in the same position as Onigumo which later lead to Naraku. Loving someone who barely even seen you let alone loved you.

Naraku was defeated but at what price. In Naraku's last moments he picked up Kanna's fallen mirror and took Kagome's soul from both herself and Kikyou. But the cracked mirror couldn't take the power of Kagomes soul for it was much too large for the mirror to take in and Kagomes soul along with many others was free.

So the now complete soul hovered over both of their dead bodies. Myouga had surprisingly stayed throughout the whole battle and said it was now up to the gods to decide who was worthy enough to live again.

After a few moments it darted to Kagomes fallen body.

It had taken days for her to wake up and she felt like she had fallen off of a mountain. Dying was definately something she never wanted to experience again.

Inuyasha had been both saddened and angered at the death of his beloved. He didn't understand why everytime he found happiness it was ripped away from him again and again. It wasn't fair. .

Sensing the wakening of Kagome he stormed to Kaede's hut.

Looking up into Inuyasha's eyes she was met with a glare.

"So the gods deemed the reincarnation worthy but not the original huh. Not Kikyou" Inuyasha spat angrily

"Inu...Inuyasha" Kagome wimpered at the look in his eyes. Never had she seen him so hurt and angry.

"Why couldn't it have been you." Inuyasha said with so much anger in is voice. He regretted the words the moment they left his lips but it was too late. The words had already been spoken.

So he turned away from her and he ran away from his problems. Ran like he has done his whole life. Away from the woman who accepted him when no one else did.

He knew that he would never forget the look on her face. But he wouldn't let himself feel regret for what he said. Anger was an emotion much easier to deal with.

He didn't want to feel pain he welcomed the rage and blamed Kagome for his problems even though in the back of his mind he knew she wasn't at fault. He was just so hurt in that moment it was so much easier to place blame on someone else.

Kagome pulled her knees to her chest ignoring the way her muscles protested at the action because her physical pain was nothing compared to how heavy her heart felt in that moment.

Inuyasha her best friend and the man she gave her heart to wished her dead.

He wanted it to be Kikyou who lived and she couldn't blame him. She was the pathetic copy and even in death the miko was still much more important than her.

Inuyasha hated her now his amber eyes were so cold, so cold that she felt the power of his glare to the depths of her bones. For the first time in two years she cried like she had never cried before. All of the sadness that she had been holding on to for so long was finally released. And although Shippou's small arms were trying to comfort her she had never felt so alone.

Perhaps the gods had been mistaken.

AN: Hope you liked it and if so I would really appreciate a review. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. And I know its short but its just the beginning people. Next chapter is on its way!


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