Existence of Empathy by Lionel

Retreated Reiki

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and shall never....

Author's note: Voila! Sorry about the accidental double pasting of the story. Fixed it up now.

Beta'd!!! < Thank you dear almighty beta!!!

Tell me your thoughts, dear readers. Reviews, reviews~ Are there any parts that need be clarified more? I'm intrigued to what readers think so far...Tell me in your reviews~

Lionel

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At the sound of Inuyasha’s  terrible “RAARRRRRRRGHHHH!!!”, Rin immediately discarded her flowers and ran to Ah-Un who had been grazing the low shrubs. Jaken hurried to two-headed dragon as well. Taking hold of Ah-Un’s harness, Rin started to pull them away from the shrubs while Jaken prodded their hind legs hard with his fire staff.  Annoyed, Ah-Un snorted hot puffs of air at them and dug in their claws into the ground to prevent from being dragged away easily. After several squawks of frustration from Jaken, Ah-Un was enticed by the bunch of sweet smelling leaves Rin held out in front of them and eventually relented to being led away by Jaken.

Craning his little green neck to look up at the overhanging tree branches, Jaken tugged Ah-Un here and there. With her bunch of pleasant leaves, Rin coaxed Ah-Un in to tread onwards. Both Rin and Jaken were attempting to find an ideal area for Ah-Un to take off. They stopped under an area where the blue sky was not obscurred by the branches. Satisfied at their chosen spot, Rin let Ah-Un munch on the crunchy sweet leaves, stroking their heads soothingly. While Rin distracted Ah-Un with her attention, Jaken started to check all Ah-Un’s buckles and straps.

Rin and Jaken were used to the habit of being prepared to leave before Sesshoumaru arrived. Neither of them had any desire to inconvenience Lord Sesshoumaru. It was a standard procedure they had followed ever since Sesshoumaru had directed them to do so for safety’s sake. 

Contrasting the flurry of action in front of them, Kagome sat immobile from her seat of a splintered tree stump. Next to her, Shippou sat holding her hand and worriedly watching her stare off into space. When Kagome felt Shippou give her hand a squeeze, she turned give him a strange, affected smile.

Her brown eyes were conflicted with a myriad of emotions.  A part of her wanted to see Inuyasha and ask him questions that had been plaguing her since she last found him sprawled naked on the floor. There were so many answers she wanted from Inuyasha and yet, didn’t. She was scared. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the truth or not…The saying ‘the truth always hurts’, kept grating against the pits of her stomach, making her feel sick.

She hated herself for these thoughts. How had her love for Inuyasha disintegrated to this? Maybe the apprehensive thoughts were just paranoia from her experiences of the past... Also, it wasn’t as if did she could decide who Inuyasha wanted to be with. Besides... she had already announced to everyone at clearing that Inuyasha was free to choose... She felt the urge to flee from everyone.

Looking back at her actions and words, she regretted them. To be honest, she wanted to chase Inuyasha to the ends of earth. She missed him. Her façade was slipping. Her throat hurt. Her heart ached. She hated her feelings for Inuyasha. She didn’t want to love him anymore and yet some part of her still cared. Where was her dignity?! The wind blew harshly, rustling the leaves and whispering bitter thoughts to her heart. She wished it would stop. She wanted something, anything to bring a miracle to her.

A heavy suffocating presence suddenly stifled the air, pressing down on her to take notice. It was Sesshoumaru…he had returned. No one followed behind him. 'Where was Sango, Miroku, Kirara? Where was...?' Sharp fear clutched her.

 “Where is Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru?” she whispered to him. “I thought you were getting everyone back.”

Pale gold eyes took in her pallid face of fear and uncertainty. “You shall see, Miko,” he replied tersely. Kagome’s head whirled with questions.

Why didn’t Sesshoumaru give her any answers? Was he holding back something? Had Inuyasha decided to leave her? Had Sango and Miroku decided to leave too? She swallowed her emotions of desperation and reprimanded herself for being so weak. What did it matter if her friends were no there? She reassured herself half-heartedly that her feelings were just paranoia.

With a mere few strides, Sesshoumaru took hold of the lead-rope of Ah-Un and brought the two-headed dragon steed in front of her and Shippou. “Get on,” he ordered her.

Kagome stared at the tall Daiyoukai. His long silver hair blew graceful aginst the breeze. Sesshoumaru stood waiting in front of her; eyes the colour of cold sunlight.  Strength seemed to drain from her body at the sight of Sesshoumaru’s icy visage. Why was he so cold today? She willed her limbs to move, yet they did not obey her. In her half-controlled state, she wanted to weep, cry out for Inuyasha, and beg him to come back to her. Why had she been reduced to this? Never had she felt so useless…She wished someone would just take her far away…

Shippou remained sitting on the tree stump next to Kagome, holding her hand carefully. Rin sat on the saddle with Jaken, beckoning them climb on Ah-Un. “Kagome, Shippou! Come sit here!”

Not taking in Rin’s words and gesturing, Kagome continued to stare at Sesshoumaru’s eyes, noting painfully that his eyes were a lighter shade of gold compared to Inuyasha’s. ‘Inuyasha…why hadn’t he come for her?’

Shippou touched her arm gently to try get her attention.  “Okasan?” Shippou asked in hushed tone. “Okasan, Rin is calling us. We probably shouldn’t let Lord Sesshoumaru wait.”

Lost in studying Sesshoumaru’s form, Kagome became unreceptive to anything else. It ached to look at him, yet she couldn’t look away. Instead of the thick, wild, white hair she was so used to seeing, he had longer, sleeker, silver-white hair. In place of furry dog ears, she saw elegant humanoid ones, with pointed tips. Two magenta stripes marked the side of his cheeks. A small, delicate, blue, crescent moon adorned the centre of his forehead.

She remained stationary, drowning in Sesshoumaru’s chilled gaze and all the differences of his physique.

A cool voice echoed out to her faintly. “Miko, we have been delayed long enough.”

At Sesshoumaru’s words, try as she might, Kagome could not move. It felt as if all the life had been sucked out of her. Her aura seemed to recede back into herself until there was no sign of any reiki. Cold sweat broke out on her brow and she started to shiver. She wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

Shippou gripped Kagome’s hand vice-like now. He knew there was something wrong with Kagome. He flashed his emerald eyes at the foreboding Sesshoumaru, courage obtained from unspeakable depths of himself.

“She can’t,” Shippou defended with a shaky voice, his fluffed cream tail lashing out angrily.

“She’s hurt.”

Hurt. Kagome faintly took in her son’s words. Shippou said she was hurt. Where was she hurt? She wanted to laugh bitterly at those words. How would she point out all the scars upon scars that have built up on her heart over the years?   She closed her eyes, feeling nauseous.

Sesshoumaru gazed at her with his face of stone, taking in the blanched complexion of her face.

“Unhand her, kitsune. I will move her,” dictated Sesshoumaru in his deep voice.

Shippou reluctantly said, “Okay,” and let go of Kagome’s hand warily, watching Sesshoumaru’s every movement.

Sesshoumaru walked closer to the miko, loosening his hold on his youki. She felt the overbearing youki of Sesshoumaru reach out towards her. Her retreated reiki aura seemed to unfurl itself and tentatively brush against Sesshoumaru’s youki. Kagome’s large chocolate eyes flashed open. Sesshoumaru was so close in front her that his fluffy mokomoko was brushing against the hem at the bottom of her yukata. Two pale, clawed hands with magenta-striped wrists came within her line of sight. She wondered briefly if those claws were going to dig into her skin.  

One pale, lean-muscled arm wrapped around the small of her back while the other slid under her legs. Surprisingly, he was gentle with her, in the way he held her waist and lifted her effortlessly from the tree stump.

She felt awakened. It was a strange and wonderful feeling, being carried bridal-style, against Sesshoumaru’s chest. Heat radiated from his body, through the haori’s silk fabric, warming her. Despite the iciness of his gaze, she felt warm; his pale gold eyes seemed to be searching for something in her eyes. What was it he wanted from her? At that moment, she felt she could forever look at his eyes and never tire of the subtle changes of colour and depth in them.

Mere seconds of passed and she wanted to preserve this moment forever… the feeling of being held so gently and reassuringly.

Unwanted and unspeakable feelings rose up in her. Mentally she closed those feelings off and she shut her eyes quickly. ‘What the hell had she been thinking? Sesshoumaru?! Was she that broken and twisted to want something from him? With Sesshoumaru? Did she really want to drown her sorrows this way?’

 She laughed hysterically inside but subconsciously her hands clutched tighter against his haori.

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Something had struck a chord in him at the sight of the miko sitting there, eyes wide and frightened, aura receding into her. It felt almost as if her soul was seeping away right before his eyes. He had never seen anything like it. Flaring out his youki had been an instinctive act. An unexplainable synch of relief lapped up upon him when he finally had felt the miko's reiki brush back against his aura.   

Sesshoumaru now stood in front of Ah-Un, almost reluctant to let go of the miko. Holding firmly to his chest, he refused to admit that it was reassuring to hold her. She seemed so fragile and small, almost like Rin, when he first found her. Now, he found himself casually ponder the imagined sensations of wrapping her luscious black locks of hair around his hands…

’What was amiss with him?’

He quickly placed her on Ah-Un’s back. Rin and Jaken sat at the back while Kagome was positioned with Shippou near the dragons' necks, in case they needed to grab hold of Ah or Un's neck for support. The two-headed dragon steed snorted and pawed the floor, impatient to be off. The tightened straps were uncomfortable so they wanted to get to the next destination as soon as possible.

With a curt, “Follow,” directed at Ah-Un, Sesshoumaru formed a clear orb and rose up into the air.