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Bunneh!!! by Walter205

Round and Round

 I don't own Inuyasha, nor will I profit from it.

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 "He was a great movie producer, you know," said the oracle as the two women conversed over a cup of tea at a small time Tokyo cafe.

 "No, I didn't know that. But then, I've only been back in the present for a short time," answered Kagome, her eyes glancing left and right for anyone that might be listening in.

 "Oh yes, but I think you'd find his movies tasteless. Most women do," the oracle said dryly.

 "Knowing him, I would think that he would cast 'himself' as a mighty conqueror like Alexander the Great, going around conquering the lands in the name of supreme power, or some such other crap."

 The oracle chuckled at this description, before shaking her head.

 "Yes well, while this does fit his general description, his movies seemed to be spawned from...certain other desires that he had crammed down and ignored over the past several hundred years. While some forms of hunting, especially hunting humans, are covered in the triology, there are some...other desires in the form of mating that are present," stated the oracle.

 "Oh no, he was a porno producer?" asked Kagome as she blushed.

 "No, oh no. Not him, no, he wouldn't be caught dead pulling that kind of work. While there are similarities, he went for the grand scale kind of projects, something that no one else had ever done before. His work was...unique."

 "Dare I ask what the movies are about then?" questioned Kagome.

 "Well, the first movie is called "Littoral Liquidation" and takes place on a previously unknown Pacific island. A cruise ship with four thousand busty models onboard with a single buff female captain runs aground on a rock and sinks. All of them managed to swim to the island, most of them clad in nothing but swimsuits, many without tops, and many more with nothing at all on," began the oracle, waiting for Kagome to finish her giggles before continuing on, "Well, all is well to begin with, but then women begin disappearing. It turns out the island is host to a pack of velociraptors that are feeding on the women, with some very gruesome scenes. A pack of women, including the captain, escape one pack of raptors narrowley, which ends the first move."

 "Wow, that is just...wow."

 "The second movie is called "Dainty Dinner", and continues the slaughter from the first movie. About half of the women have been eaten by this point, and the raptor population explodes. The female captain turns out to be a study of the amazon tribes of the Brazil. She begins training the females to fend for themselves, and establishes a village. But the raptors, being the quick learners they are, end up staging a raid on the village that kills off most of the amazon warriors that she trained, plus the 'villagers' that were staying in the village with them. At the end of the movie, the captain sacrafices herself to allow her few remaining cohorts to escape."

 "Now that sounds a little more...interesting."

 "The third movie is called "Raptor's Requiem", and finishes the series. The female amazon humans managed to kill all the female raptors on the island, before they are confronted by the male raptor hunting groups. At this point there are about three hundred human females left, and about five thousand male raptors. During this time period the raptors have somehow learned, I guess through their evolution to this new prey, the human's language, and speak in english how they will be painfully devoured for what they have done this day. However, one of the amazon female warriors offers herself to the raptor king, saying that if they mate they may be able to produce offspring, then there would no longer need be a reason for fighting. Agreeing to her demands, they mate, and produced a half raptor/half human offspring, named Raptorius. An alliance is formed, and at the end of the movie Raptorius comes of age at the head of the mighty city in which they live. The End."

 ".....huh. Poor Sesshomaru, I can imagine that it didn't go over well at the Box Office," said Kagome in a daze.

 "Would I have called him a great movie producer if he didn't do well at the Box Office? But there is more, that the women don't like the movies that well," smirked the oracle.

 "Elaborate?" asked Kagome.

 "Well, for one thing, the Raptors seem to have a very select diet. Only the women's arms, legs, hips, or stomach were devoured. Their chests and faces were left alone, the former always bouncing to some degree while they were torn apart, the latter always showing emotions other than scrunched up horrible pain, sometimes almost like bliss."

'

 "Oh no," muttered Kagome as her head fell into her hands.

 "Oh yes, yes, yes, and more. The women, when being eaten, would always cry out, not in agony, but in moans and groans like being eaten alive, having your arms and legs ripped off, and your intestines and guts torn out was the best experience a woman could ever have. So so so many women stormed out of the first movie when those scenes came up, it was like a comedy," laughed the oracle.

 "I can imagine. But then, how well did the movies do?" asked Kagome in confusion.

 "Thanks to the male population, mainly between the ages of 13 and 50, all three movies were a blockbuster success. During their runs world-wide, the first movie grossed 27 billion, the second movie 36 billion, and the final movie 38 billion, making the "Stranded Stars" the highest grossing movie triology ever, and the only triology to ever reach the 100 billion dollars mark. Of that amount, 18 million was spent by females seeing the first movie, 3 million the second movie, and 7 million the third movie."

 The oracle waited for fifteen minutes until Kagome finally picked her jaw up off the ground and rehinged it inside her mouth.

 "Men.....," muttered Kagome.

 "Ain't that the truth hon, but now that a little back history is out of the way, we need to move on to buisness, and why exactly I've arranged a meeting between us," spoke the oracle.

 "Finally. So, what can I help you with?" asked Kagome.

 "In my dreams as of late, a great evil with a familiar taint will rise once again to threaten the world. In the dreams, Sesshomaru is the only one who can stop it, but you see, he has gone missing, and you, my young friend, are the only one who can find him....."

 

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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