Wrong Brother! by Wild Thicket

Wrong Brother!

Title: Wrong Brother!

Prompt: Leather

Genre: Humor

Rating: K+/G

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,029

Summary: Sesshomaru discovers a collar Kagome brought with her to the feudal era as a private joke. Written for dokuga_contest's third anniversary challenge!

Author's Note: Many thanks to my beta, Smortz! You rock! :D

“Sesshomaru-sama,” sang a small human girl as she flounced into camp. “I brought something for you! Rin found it with Kagome-sama!”

Sesshomaru eyed her distrustfully as he sat against a tree trunk. The last time his ward had brought him something from Kagome, he had fallen ill for hours. This Sesshomaru shall never eat that ‘chocolate’ again, he vowed for the umpteenth time.

Kagome ran up behind Rin, looking aghast at what the little kimono-clad girl was holding. “It smells like cattle,” Sesshomaru said flatly, not at all curious to know what Rin was waving around so cheerfully.

“Cattle, Sesshomaru-sama?” Rin chirped, not put out by her retainer’s lack of excitement over her newfound trinket.

“Hn.” Maybe his infamous monosyllabic replies would discourage her.

“Kagome-sama says that it is made of leather. Is that why Sesshomaru-sama smells cows?” It seemed that peace and quiet were not meant to be for the regal taiyoukai, so he reluctantly tilted his head in what might have been a minuscule nod.

“Does Sesshomaru-sama know what it is?” Rin scampered up to the reclining youkai and perched by his knees. He glanced at the miko’s pale face and nervous fidgeting before looking at Rin.

“This Sesshomaru cares not for what trinkets silly humans bring with them,” he declared, as if it should be obvious. Contrary to his words, Sesshomaru plucked the object from Rin’s grasp and examined it. It was indeed made of leather, but it was coated in some foul-smelling glaze. Small spikes, similar to the ones on his armor, dotted the exterior of it, but the interior had a small metal wire running around it. A metal clasp held it together.

“Kagome-sama says it’s a –“

“Rin-chan,” Kagome interrupted with a nervous laugh, “I don’t think Sesshomaru-sama wants to be bothered with something silly like this.” She held open her arms and bent down on her knees. “Come here, I’ll show you some other things from my home!”

Sesshomaru raised a thin eyebrow at Kagome’s feeble attempt to keep information from him. Who does the miko think she is to hide something from this Sesshomaru? “Continue,” he countered with another glance at Kagome, as if to challenge her.

Rin hopped up and down slightly, and her eyes twinkled as if she had a scandalous secret to share. Kagome’s breath whooshed out, and she closed her eyes as if she had just been sentenced to death.

“Well,” the little girl began importantly, “Kagome-sama told Rin that it was something called a collar.” She looked up expectantly at Sesshomaru and hoped for some form of praise.

Oh. Was that all it was? He was about to ‘hn’ before she amended, “A shock collar.”

~*~*~

Kagome moaned softly and slid her face into her palms. Oh, dear Kami. Now the cat was out of the bag. This was it. She was going to die. Why did Rin-chan have to be so cute? Then she wouldn’t have explained it to her at all! Cuteness always overwhelmed Kagome’s common sense. Always.

She was so busy moping about her terrible fate that she missed Rin-chan’s explanation of the collar. Fortunately – or unfortunately – Sesshomaru-sama didn’t understand a single word the little human had uttered. So he turned to Kagome and demanded, “Explain.”

She squeaked before stepping back a couple of paces. “Uhm… Well… It’s a collar, like Rin-chan said. It… goes around a mighty dog’s neck and…” Kagome was fumbling on how to explain it without getting herself killed. She waved her hands around vaguely as she spoke. “And it… makes them… great. Yeah, it makes them great. Uhm…shockingly great. That’s why it’s called a shock collar.” She winced internally at her fib. Maybe I shouldn't tell him that I somehow accidentally put the osuwari charm on it... “But I’m sure Sesshomaru-sama doesn’t need such a thing to become great, since he already is!” Please leave it alone, she begged.

Sesshomaru gazed down at the small piece of leather and tilted his head as he pondered the miko’s fumbling words. This Sesshomaru requires no trinket to become great, he acknowledged. However, this must not get into the hanyou’s filthy paws.

“Put it on this Sesshomaru,” he told Rin. The little girl gasped and stared at her retainer. Was he serious? He certainly looked it, so she took the collar back from his proffered hand and stretched up to put it on.

Kagome fainted.

~*~*~

“Oi, she still ain’t wakin’. If she don’t wake up in the next five minutes, I’m just gonna leave her layin’ here, and don’t think I won’t!”

“Just give it time, Inuyasha,” Miroku said patiently.

Kagome’s eyes fluttered open to see Inuyasha turn away with a ‘keh’, Miroku-kun leaning against the same tree Sesshomaru-sama had been using, Sango-chan polishing her Hiraikotsu calmly, and Shippo perched on her stomach as he earnestly looked at her face.

“Kagome’s awake!” The little fox youkai cheered. Kagome sat up and returned the hug he gave her.

“How long have I been out?” She asked.

“About a whole day,” grumbled Inuyasha. ”Ya know how many shards we coulda got today?”

“A whole day?!” Kagome squawked. She shot upright, looking at her clothes in dismay. “I need a bath,” she declared. “Now. Sango-chan, do you want to come with me?”

The youkai slayer shook her head apologetically. “Sorry Kagome-chan, I took one while you were still unconscious.”

“It’s fine Sango-chan!” She started gathering her bathing supplies and shot a glare at Inuyasha and Miroku. “If you even think about peeking…” she threatened before gliding regally in the direction Sango had pointed her in.

~*~*~

“Osuwari! Osuwari, osuwari, osuwari!” The scream rang out through the forest as Kagome plunged farther into the water and hid behind a boulder. “Inuyasha how could you!” She shrieked after the echoing ‘wham!’s died off.

“You dare mistake this Sesshomaru for that halfbreed, miko?” A furious snarl replied. Sesshomaru rose from the bushes, covered in dirt and twigs. Kagome squeaked, too terrified to do anything more. Wrong brother!

How dare the miko place a spell on him? How dare she charm the collar to not come off? Eyes bleeding red around the edges, Sesshomaru stalked through the water.

“Os- osuwari!” Kagome squeaked out, and shrieked when he plummeted downward into the spring.

Definitely the wrong brother!