Alpha by Lyra

N: Narquois

Drabble Collection Alpha

CXXVI

Prompt From The Alphabet Challenge

N: Narquois: mocking, malicious

In his moment of revelation, Inuyasha felt the world go whirling out from underneath him. What did it mean, that Sesshomaru shared more than violence with him? That he shared the utter, the complete loss of their father...and a most terrible secret?

I’m afraid of myself, too. Of the Inu that fights claw and fang for my soul – and is it worse for him, because he’s full youkai? It’s...it must be a harder fight, not easier. That’s...I didn’t ever think...

He found himself wondering if this was something they still shared; if the Sesshomaru who wandered the living world still kept his fear close...or if he had overcome it?

Quiet, ragged laughter slipped from Inuyasha’s throat. How terrible this was – this knowledge, these answers, these truths. How terrible – because once he possessed them, once he knew them, he could never look at anything the same way again.

Sesshomaru was youkai – oh yes, very much the demon - but he was no monster. He was not heartless. He burned with passions and fears just as anyone else did; he lived and breathed, and it seemed somehow only fitting that both his pains and his pleasures would be greater than most could bear. Inuyasha found himself on the edge of admitting that Sesshomaru would be no worse for Kagome than he had been – that he needed her just as much, if not more – that perhaps, perhaps -

To be together might be the best thing for both of them. But – but what about me?

His thoughts had no answer. His eyes stayed focused on the darkness; he spoke out loud to himself, quietly, the questions that tormented him -

“If she stayed with him, would it be better for her? Will he give her darkness? I wonder...if she will ever forgive me – if she’ll talk to me...my Kagome...my – mate...what have I done? The old man was right – I’ll never be able to make it up to her -”

Behind him in the darkness there was Naraku’s cackling laughter – but Inuyasha spun around as it quieted abruptly in the face of a familiar presence.

“So, my son. You have learned, it seems...and at the hands of this fool, no less. I have never been more disappointed in you than when you succumbed to his treachery, Inuyasha -”

Inuyasha clenched his fists tightly, and then relaxed as his father continued.

“Nor have I ever been more proud than the moment you finally defeated him. I think, that if you manage to gain your miko’s forgiveness, I may change my opinion...but only then.”

Scowling, Inuyasha looked away, but nodded. His gaze fell on Naraku, who stood mute as if clubbed into silence...and then had a wicked thought.

“Hey father, you owe me for making me listen to him this whole while. Couldn’t you come up with someone else? Even if you wanted an enemy -”

“Ah, but no one else would have served as well. When I asked myself, who does Inuyasha hate more than he thinks he hates his brother, only one name came to my mind. But you should not speak of debts, Inuyasha -”

“Then what about fun? I’d never say anything to her about it, but I’ve never been so irritated as when Kagome purified this bastard. I wanted the final blow-”

His father only raised an eyebrow, and then nodded slowly.

“Perhaps it would be best for you to take out your frustration, then. After all – you must be contrite and humble to seek forgiveness. You must be kind and compassionate and willing to accept retribution, if that is what your former victim desires. And being that this place is under my control, and that you are my son, and this creature is a thing unworthy of name or consideration...”

Inuyasha chuckled darkly at the sight of Naraku shouting, open mouthed, while making absolutely no sound...and then was brought sharply back to reality by his father.

“But I forget, Inuyasha. You do not carry Tetsusaiga. Are you a match for him, alone?”

Reminded of his loss, all humor faded from Inuyasha’s face. His features took on a grim and feral cast.

“I may be without my sword, but he is without the shikon no tama. I will kill him.”

He turned back to look at Naraku, and was pleased, for the first time in his life, by the fear in someone’s face when they looked at him.

“Ready, Naraku? I told you I’d kill you again if I got the chance; even in Hell, you aren’t safe from me!”

The distorted shape of Naraku’s mouth, open for a silent scream, reassured him that feigned skin would still feel.

~~~~

A/N: Phew! 800 words! Long time of no updates, but real life has a way of doing that...at any rate, more is here, and I’m about two thirds of the way through the next chapter, so be not faint of heart! More shall be soon! Also, I must thank whoever nominated this fic for best lemon in the 3rd quarter :kowtow: thank you! :D Finally, take note: as of 11/5/11, I have edited the entirety of Alpha; some chapters have been rearranged, and several have had additions, some major, some minor, along with the usual business of cleaning up grammar, spelling, and punctuation. So! Consider taking a look back, and hopefully liking more!

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