Hugger Muggers and Persian Rugs by Breezy

Gauntlet

Hey ya'll! This is my new story Hugger Muggers and Persian Rugs. It's a little...well... you'll see. I used to write fanfiction but had a horrible writers block. I've forced myself to start writing and am incredibly rusty, so excuse the grammatical errors, lack of flow and sad attempt at humor. I don't know if I'll continue this story or not but I'll work harder to put out more quality work.

 Thanks for reading!

He was going to ruin her.

Plain and simple.

He almost felt sorry for the girl. Here he was secretly plotting her demise and she had no clue. For once he wished he had the ability to grow facial hair because he was most definitely in a mustache twirling mood. Regardless, it was her own fault.

Flipping through the pages in front of him, he threw her file on the table. Pictures spilled out onto the marble table, and looking at her blue eyes and too bright smile made him feel tingly. In a evil villain kind of way.

Inuyasha sat across from him, tapping his fingers against the table impatiently.

“Did you get what I asked for?” he asked.

“I did but-"

“Anything?”

“She’s as clean as a whistle but don’t you think this is a little-“

“Do it again. Check her dental records if you have to.”

“Sessh-“

“Did I ask for your opinion?”

“I think you’re going a little far. She’s just a girl. No tickets. No arrests. No scandals. She. is. just. a. girl." Inuyasha drawled out slowly. Sometimes he just didn't understand his sibling.

“...Or so they say” The wench didn't leave a paper trail. She was cleverer than she looked.

“You’re obsessed man. Are you sure you just don’t like her?”

Inuyasha felt the heat behind the blank stare and rolled his eyes.

“Alright I got it, I got it. But honestly, have you said more than two words to her?”

On the receiving end of another blank stare, Inuyasha threw his arms in the air before grabbing the file and stomping towards the door.

“You’re twisted man. Why don’t you try talking to her? You might be surprised. She’s a pretty cool chick.”

Flinging the door open and stalking out the door, all Sesshoumaru heard was the fluttering of papers, a feminine oomf and Inuyasha muttering profanities under his breath. 

Smirking, he moved to his favorite chair when her voice penetrated the silence.

"What's this?" she paused. "Why do you have pictures of me...are these...are these what I think they are?!" she shouted, murder in her voice.

Inuyasha blustered under her rage. 

It's time.

Stalking towards the door, he flung it open and stepped out.

"I'll...teach you...to...stalk me..."

There she was dressed like a damn ulzzang wannabee. Black hair in a messy side bun, in a flannel shirt, cut off shorts and combat boots, she was stomping on Inuyasha- who he was sure was unconscious already- like a vicious beast.

"Leave the half breed alone. It was me who told him to get that information."

"Oh god, you sick perverts! Both of you?!" She raised her hand to punch him in the shoulder when he grabbed her fist.

"I'm not obsessed with you, neither is this fool." Pulling her fist away from his grasp, she eyed him suspiciously.

"So what's with the pictures?"

Pulling out a scroll from his sweater, Sesshoumaru handed it over to his enemy.

Unrolling the paper "Kagome Higurashi... I, Sesshoumaru Taisho...hereby officially declare" she paused, bringing the paper closer to her face, "WAR AGAINST YOU. What the hell is this crap?!"

Stalking back into his apartment, leaving Kagome to stand there gaping at the document in her hand, he returned, a rug in hand.

"What's this for?" He rose a single eyebrow. "Hn. As if you don't already know." Spreading it out and throwing it over the half breed, Sesshoumaru pointed to a white mass on the rug. Seeing the confusion in her eyes, he smirked. She could act. Hn, she was a worthy challenger after all.

"But I'll play this game, since I'm in a good mood. This is a persian rug. This is the spoiled milk you forced me to spill onto said persian rug. For this inexcusable offense, I have officially declared war against you. Ready your forces, because I refuse to go down without a fight."

She stared at him. Then at the rug. Then at the unconscious Inuyasha. Understanding dawned in her eyes. "Oh my god, you're actually insane."

"Touche Higurashi"

"What?"

He slammed the door, leaving her with a dirty Persian rug and an unconscious man in her possession.

Then she may or may not have fainted.

In case you didn't get these references, here are the definitions!

Ulzzang:Ulzzang true definition is "best & "face" = best face in korean. They are basically people with above average looks, sometimes with the use of photoshop and haduri who post their pics online, some becoming internet celebrities.

A/N: Though this says ulzzangs are specific to Korea, there is a term for ulzzangs in Japan. I totally forgot it- it could be gyaru but not exactly sure. But basically, they're all super fashionable and cute.

Hugger Muggers: Shakespearean term. Means disorder or confusion; muddle. secrecy; reticence: