Toddling Towards Fate by summerbirdy

Chapter 5

This chapter is my Christmas gift to all fans, but speacially Sugar0o, who glued this little thing called plunny on me. I hope you like it.

I do not own Inuyasha, that honor is Takahashi-sensei's. Nor do I make profit. I write for pure fun and to learn.

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It was raining hard. Sesshoumaru sat under the tree at the edge of the village, not caring about the rain that poured down on him, drenching his kimono and the pelt. He sat there like a statue, his eyes glued to the hut where the Shikon no Miko lived. Two days now, he had been waiting for that little onna to wake up. She had fainted at the roots of Bokuseno, and it had taken him quite some acrobatics and help of the magnolia demon to carry the miko and her belongings, as well as the wailing pup back to the village. A feat he didn't want to repeat any time soon.

Inuyasha had been restless and inconsolable when the miko had fainted. The pup had squirmed and wiggled until Sesshoumaru had growled in irritation. The sound had made hanyou pup's ears twitch and turn and he had fell silent. But as soon as the growling stopped, the wiggling and whining started. The Western Lord had then taken to rumble under his breath all the way until pup had fallen asleep. A deed that both made him feel strangely proud and foolish.

And now the miko had been unconscious for two days. The elder miko of the village and Rin were both sitting by her side night and day. Pup-sitting Inuyasha had somehow been left to him, especially after the pup had bitten one of the village women and scratched Rin. The only time Inuyasha was content, was when he was sleeping beside the miko and playing with taiyoukai. And ever since that was realized, Sesshoumaru was left alone with the pup, aside from feeding and changing him. Those tasks were for Rin.

He had started to teach the pup some basic inu rules of behaving, grooming and hunting. So far he was mostly ignored in favor of his shiny armor or long hair. But even the taiyoukai had to admit that the pup was, strangely enough, kind of cute, staring at him and then promptly falling asleep in his lap.

The new feelings he found in himself while watching were confusing. He was certain that the miko would know the answer, but she was currently unavailable. At least teaching the pup gave him something to do while waiting the woman to wake up. That and just maybe in the future the hanyou wouldn't be so brass.

The rain continued pouring down on him while he sat still, eyes and ears tuned to hear sounds from the hut.

~~~

Kagome was floating. That's the only way she knew to describe the feeling she had. When her senses returned to her, she was gliding on a soft something. When she opened her eyes, she saw nothing but darkness that caressed her, soothing her agonized soul. How the blackness managed to do that, she didn't quite know. Usually such darkness scared her, but this one seemed to hold a gentleness that nightmares lacked.

She had no idea how long she had been floating in the soothing, void-like river of nothingness, when she noticed a light spreading around her. When the gloomy shade had faded away, Kagome noticed shadows moving around her. One small, one bigger one. The small one seemed to be picking up flowers and she could hear a child's giggling, and a voice explaining something she didn't hear.

Bigger shadow was standing beside her, and  lifted its hand and caressed her cheek softly. A feeling of love and being loved filled the tormented girl's heart. It was powerful and fierce feeling, stronger that what she had ever experienced with Inuyasha.

Suddenly the light got brighter and she could see the smaller figure clearly. It had golden eyes, silver hair and two puppy ears on top of its head. It was dressed in a red outfit and had arms full of flowers. Their eyes met, and the little hanyou smiled brightly.

“Mama!!”

And then the light disappeared before she got to see the other figure properly. She was left in the soothing darkness, to think about what she saw.

“He called me mama.” She whispered to herself. “He called me mama and I felt I loved him like a mother should.”

Kagome lifted a hand over her heart. It was beating a wild staccato when she thought about the other one.

“And him... in there I loved him more than I've ever loved anyone...”

“Yes, Kagome.” A voice was heard behind her. She turned swiftly to see the speaker and didn't believe her eyes. In front of her was a person she thought she'd never see again. Not after the Jewel had been wished away.

“Midoriko!”

The creator of the Jewel smiled brightly at the miko.

“Yes, Kagome. The Kami allowed me to come talk with you, when your heart seemed to stop hearing their voices. They wanted you to see that you still have a chance for all the happiness you thought was lost.” Midoriko's smile diminished little. “And I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, that you and Inuyasha would have never worked out. He was too happy with his freedom and would not have stayed around for long.”

Some part of Kagome was heartbroken to hear that. It had been her dream since she was fifteen years old to marry Inuyasha. But a small part knew that Midoriko was right. They would have been unhappy, eventually.

“But... who then was that shadow? Who will be the one to love me so?” She asked, desperately wanting to know that there really was hope for love and happiness.

“Dear Kagome. You honestly think that the Kami will let you have that information now, while you're still grieving? No, child, that will come to you in it's own time. First you must mourn your loss and heal your heart. He will come to you when it's time for you to love again.” Midoriko said, smiling softly.

An amused twinkle appeared in her eyes, as she watched Kagome to take in the news and the feelings from the vision. Oh, how much fun she and the Kami would have in the future. Surely, the promised pair would fight their fate tooth and nail, if they were given this particular information at this time.

“Just remember, all the dreams you had will come true. Just not with Inuyasha. There is someone else waiting for you.” Midoriko continued. 'Though he doesn't know it yet.' she thought silently, her grin widening a bit. “Now go, your friends are worried.”

With that Midoriko disappeared and darkness took Kagome again.

~~~

After two days of being unconscious, Higurashi Kagome, the Shikon Miko and now guardian of Inu no Taisho's younger son, woke up from her slumber at the dawn of third day, much to relief of Rin who was still awake and had started to really worry. The momentary relaxation was short, as Kagome started crying and screaming in a desperate matter. Inuyasha, who had been sleeping next to her, woke up and started to cry too, partly from rude awakening, partly from worry of his mother-figure.

Rin was at a loss. She now had a screaming woman and crying infant to take care of and she really didn't know what to do. Kaede was in other hut, getting some much needed sleep, and she had no one to relay to. It wasn't until Sesshoumaru stepped into the hut that Inuyasha calmed down. The pup reached his arms towards his brother and Sesshoumaru silently took him, turning towards the door.

At the door he stopped and looked at Rin, who was doing her best to calm Kagome down.

“Let the miko mourn her sorrows. Some tears are needed.” He said before walking out of the hut, the still sniffling pup in his arm.

Rin stared after him, eyes wide and disbelief clearly written on her face. Never before had she seen her lord so tolerant when it came to weaknesses, and he did consider crying as weakness. She didn't dwell on it too long though, wrapping her arms around the wailing miko and whispering soothing words to her ear. Kagome cried until she had no more tears and fell back to sleep.

The next morning found Kagome silently making breakfast for Rin and Kaede who were now both sleeping in her hut. Inuyasha had wanted to stay with Sesshoumaru through the night, and even now she could see them sitting by a tree nearby. The sight made her smile and remember her talk with Midoriko, and then tear up again when she remembered the fate of her hanyou.

Kaede and Rin woke up to the smell of breakfast and were both delighted to see her up and about even if her aura was laced with sadness. They ate breakfast in silence, but afterward, when Kaede poured another cup of tea for everyone, Kagome perked up and asked if her companions knew what had happened.

“Not in great detail.” Kaede said, while sipping her tea. “But from Sesshoumaru-sama's face when he brought ye two back, and from the fact that Inuyasha is still a baby, we gathered that it didn't go well.”

“I've never seen Sesshoumaru-sama so sad.” Rin said. “Not even when you left with the Jewel.”

Kagome's eyebrow rose. Sesshoumaru had been sad because she had been sent back to the future? That didn't really fit into the picture she had of the youkai lord. She decided to ignore that little tidbit, and started talking about what had happened after they took off to meet Bokuseno.

When everything was told, Kagome was crying again. Rin, who had started to really look up to her uncle, was also shedding tears.

“Poor Inuyasha.” Kaede sighed. “But ye have to admit, he got the better end of it.”

Kagome, who had had time to think about everything in the wee hours of the morning, nodded. Rin on the other hand was confused.

“What do you mean, Kaede-san?” She asked.

Kagome answered instead. “There are no memories. For him, life has just started. No unhappy childhood, no name-calling. He doesn't remember needing to fight for food or shelter. And definitely no lost love or friendship. To him the world is new and wonderful.”

“So he has no memory of being a grown up? He doesn’t remember you?” Rin asked.

“Yeah.” Kagome sighed. “And best way to prove it... Take a look how he is with Sesshoumaru. If he had any memories of his brother trying to kill him, he wouldn't be so unguarded with him, even in his infant state.”

Rin nodded. It all made perfect sense, but she also felt sorry for the miko next to her.

“Part of me is happy for him, to be able to forget all bad things from his childhood.” Rin said, having only few years back learned to let go of her own memories. “But to forget all good things... And he was just starting to cope with his life too. He and Sesshoumaru-sama got along and he had those regular visits to somewhere. And finally getting you back, Kagome.” The girl continued, not noticing how Kaede winced at the mention of the trips.

Kagome did notice and instantly knew it was something that the older miko didn't want her to know about, otherwise this would have come out earlier. But whatever it was, right now she didn't care.

~~~

Having drank her tea, Kagome decided to get Inuyasha from his 'babysitter'. She walked out of the hut and stopped, astonished by what she saw.  It was even more amazing sight than the tousled-haired inuyoukai at the base of Bokuseno had been.

Sesshoumaru was crouching down and obviously preying on something. Inuyasha was sitting next to him, watching curiously his head tilted to the side. The youkai lord turned his head towards the pup and growled something that made the young one giggle. Then, Inuyasha promptly started to crawl on all fours in the general direction of his brother.

Kagome was stunned. Two things made her stare in open disbelief. One, Inuyasha who just three days ago had been helpless little infant was now moving with a speed that would be impossible for a human child that young. Secondly, Sesshoumaru was obviously teaching the hanyou pup something demon related. That was something she knew had not happened in the past.

She silently snuck towards the brothers, though it was obvious that at least Sesshoumaru knew she was there. She followed the hunting baby for a minute, when the inuyoukai lifted his head and their eyes met. Unhidden mirth was shining from the usually emotionless golden eyes as Inuyasha chose that moment to attack the ankles of Kagome. It seemed she had been the prey the whole time.

Kagome mock-yelped, pleading for help, then fell down and scooped Inuyasha into her arms tickling the pup mercilessly. Inuyasha squealed from pure joy and Kagome laughed at the sight of squirming baby. That was first laugh she had laughed since the incident.

'Have a good hunt?” She asked, smiling to both silver-haired brothers. Inuyasha gurgled happily.

“Hn. He got his mark.” Sesshoumaru stated, looking at the miko sprawled on the ground.

“So he did.” The miko smiled and tickled the pup again, making him squeal and squirm even more.

Sesshoumaru was amazed that morning. He had been expecting a breakdown and tears like yesterday, but not this fast recovery. Something must have happened to the miko. He was sure of it and he wanted answers. But listening the conversation the women had in the hut had been fruitless. There was said nothing he didn't know already.

They were now sitting by the tree in peaceful silence, with Inuyasha crawling around, hunting anything his eyes saw. Silence was then broken by Kagome.

“Sesshoumaru?” Kagome asked softly. “I saw you teaching Inuyasha earlier. Why now and not earlier, after your father....”

Golden eyes flickered towards the miko. Did she not know? Apparently not. It had been so long ago and with everything Inuyasha had spouted from his mouth in past years, he probably did not know either.

“This Sesshoumaru teaches the young one, because it's how inu pack does things. And this Sesshoumaru would have done his duty before, if not for the pup's mother refusing the pack.” He replied carefully.

Kagome blinked. Izayoi had refused being part of the pack and had opted to go with her family, that treated Inuyasha like scum? So either she knew nothing of dog demon she mated, or...

“Wait, you wanted to take them in? But... he said... you hated...” She stumbled over her words, surprised of her thoughts.

“Hn. Father mated her, thus she was the alpha female of this one's pack. Even when he died, and this one took over, she would have been alpha until this one mated or she passed.”  Sesshoumaru told her with cold voice. “But she refused her right of being an alpha, thus refusing Father. That is what made her and her whelp an outcast in the eyes of demon kind. This one made sure no one killed the whelp by claiming him as mine to kill. But the humans hated them even more. So this one kept track of the whelp, aiding in secret.”

Why he was sharing this story with the miko, he did not know. But it seemed the right thing to do. It felt important that she had the knowledge, and Sesshoumaru was one to follow his instincts when it was appropriate.

Kagome was stunned. First of all, Sesshoumaru was as talkative as a rumor mill and secondly, all Inuyasha had known of his brother was a lie. Or half-truths anyway.

“So the hatred and all the talk about killing Inu?” She asked, afraid of what he might say.

“She poisoned his mind. Truthfully, this one did not like her at all, or the fact that Father sullied the name of Mother, the Lady of the West like that. But the whelp had nothing to do with it. This one wanted to have them in the pack, safe like Father had asked, but she refused. And doing that she dishonored the sacrifice this one's Father made for them. This one tried to explain, to tell her how the demon world would see her behavior, but she claimed not to care. That angered this Sesshoumaru and I banished her from the House and Lands.” Sesshoumaru explained, eyes cold and hard, voice low and nearly growling from the memory.

“So, Izayoi refused your help, and when you told her never to come to the West again, she was insulted and told Inu you hated him?” Kagome asked, slightly appalled by the woman's behavior

“Hn.”

“And all the times you attacked Inu, you weren't trying to kill him, but teach?”

“Hn.”

“And the Tetsusaiga?”

“This one wanted the sword yes. But not at the price of his life.”

“And loosing your arm?”

”This one was.... distracted from the fight. And arm will grow back in a few centuries.” Heaven forbid anyone to find out just what had had him so distracted.

What ever Kagome had been expecting him to say, this certainly wasn't it. She had lots to think about now. She gathered Inuyasha to her arms and started to bid him farewell, when the youkai lord looked at her sharply.

“Miko, you shall stay and answer this Sesshoumaru's questions. It is only fair that you do.” He said.

Kagome stopped and gaped at him. Yes, it was fair, he deserved to be answered. After all he had just been uncharacteristically long winded with her. She just had not thought that Sesshoumaru would want to spend so much time in her presence. But then again, he had not said he hated humans just because they were humans. So maybe...

Kagome sat back down, letting Inuyasha to play in grass once more, and looked at the inuyoukai carefully.

“I hope I don't insult your senses then, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

“You are downwind.”

Kagome blinked. Just a minute, did he just.... Oh yes, definitely a smirk on his face. Was he joking?

“Though you are one of the few whose scent is pleasant. It's no wonder the pup and kit like to stay close to you.”

First a joke and now a compliment? The world must have gone crazy. No, wait... he was smirking again. That bastard.

“Ask your questions, please.” Kagome said, trying to keep her voice steady so the male wouldn't notice how angry she got.

Sesshoumaru grinned inwardly. It was so easy to rile this woman up, but she seemed to know when to talk back and when not. That made her a good potential alpha female.

He banished the thought. It was not important right now.

“How come you're still not crying, miko?” Sesshoumaru asked. “You lost your future and you cry but a day. Or was my brother not worth of your tears?”

Kagome stiffened at the question, and Inuyasha, who had been leaning on her, noticed it and growled at his alpha for making his mother-figure tense. Sesshoumaru flicked the pup's nose, but didn't take his eyes of the female.

“I... I was hoping to keep this from everyone.” Kagome begun after a short silence. “But you seem to notice everything. While I was unconscious, I got a vision and a visitor. The visitor was Midoriko.”

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened minutely, but he masked his emotions fast and nodded for the miko to continue.

“She told me that I should not despair, as the Kami wanted me to have happiness I deserved. And that happiness, unfortunately, did not include Inuyasha.” Kagome looked down, still sad at loosing her first love.

“And the vision... I was loved and loved back. I don't know who he was but he loved me without limits. I could feel that. And Inuyasha was there, calling me Mama.”

Sesshoumaru didn't comment, but she didn't expect him to.

“She also said I should mourn. But it's not like me to hide in my room, sulking and crying. I need and want to do something, to drown my sorrows in something.” Kagome continued.

That Sesshoumaru could understand. Not once during their hunt of Naraku and the Jewel had he seen her depressed over his half-brother's mindless courting of two women. She had gotten angry and walked incredible amounts during the day or worked to get better with her Miko skills.

“And what do you plan to do now, miko?” He asked curiously.

“Oh, learn to be a mother to a half-demon. How they grow, what they need... I need to learn all that.” Kagome said, smiling softly to the hanyou pup in her lap. Inuyasha was currently gnawing his fists, obviously getting tired.

She then sat in perfect seiza and looked to her company.

“For that I need help. I need someone to teach him how to be a demon. No, I need someone to teach us both, so I too can understand that world he's part of. I'm asking you to do this, for you are the only one I can trust with it.”

Her eyes sparkled when she gazed the inuyoukai in front of her.

“In return, I'm willing to let you have Tetsusaiga until he needs it once more, which hopefully won't be for a few centuries. And I'm willing to heal your arm.”

Then she bowed down, until her forehead touched the grass.

“Please accept my request, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

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