The Ultimate Revenge by Danyealle-sama

The Ultimate Revenge

The Ultimate Revenge

By Danyealle

I own nothing when it comes to Inuyasha nor am I receiving any form of compensation for this experience in crack fiction.

Crack fiction-not meant to be taken seriously in any way, shape or form.

A.N.-This will give away plot points in stories written and/or roleplays by Sugar0o, MontiK, Smittee, Lady Battousai, Miss Kagura and Speedy Tomato.  All authors persona’s here are used with permission of said authors.

I blame this on r0o and her mutant, clinging plot bunnies.  It’s all your fault r0o!

-Danyealle

Dedicated to all Kagome/Sesshomaru fan fiction writers

Standing in the center of the kitchen, Kagome and Inuyasha were once more facing off.  Though this was a normal occurrence, the argument was a bit more heated than it normally was.  For the little futuristic miko, she was up to her eyeballs with the hanyou this time and had enough of his crap.  Sure, when he found out that she and Sesshomaru were ‘involved’ she expected problems but Inuyasha had plunged to a depth of viciousness that she didn’t think possible. 

Things in the feudal era on the jewel shard hunt had gotten so bad and uncomfortable for all of them because of his sniping at her that she had come home for a few days to give them all a break. It was also for her to get a grip on her temper before she ‘sat’ him to the point that his ass was lodged in his nostrils.  But it hadn’t worked that way.  Sure, the first day was fine. But he had shown up in her bedroom the next morning and the fight was on.  Normally, anymore anyway, when she stormed off home for a break he left her alone.  That was fine with her.  But no, the hanyou had done nothing but stew over things since she left so he wanted to continue the fight with her.  That was exacerbated by the fact that when he came through her window he saw her and Sesshomaru in bed together.  No, they weren’t doing anything, hell Sesshomaru was still fully dressed, but the sight of them together sent the hanyou off the deep end and the fight was on.  No, it hadn’t stopped in the bedroom either. 

She was all for letting him rant and rave all he wanted to as long as it wasn’t at her so she had left him alone then went downstairs to fix breakfast for her and Sesshomaru.  But, as she should have known, when the hanyou was that mad he wasn’t going to drop it.  So he had followed them and continued on, becoming louder with each passing minute and his terms for her person more vile and vulgar.  The only thing, at this point, that she was thankful for was that her family wasn’t home.  They were gone for the day, off visiting relatives.  This debacle most certainly wasn’t something that she wanted them to experience.

As would be expected of her, Kagome put up with it for a while and kept the daiyoukai from involving himself, thus leading to a gore-splattered kitchen that she would have to clean.  But eventually, enough was too much and her temper snapped.  When the stupid half-breed had called her a worthless shard detector.  But, rather than sitting him until his bones were powder, she got a wicked idea that she felt would not only end the argument this time but get him off her back permanently.

An angelic smile spreading across her face, she leaned down and whispered to her demon lord to keep Inuyasha busy, she then all but skipped out of the kitchen to find the phone.  A few phone calls and very short conversations later, she came back in with a grin that seemed to take up her whole face.  Sitting down on the demon lord’s knee, she waited tapping her foot.  Even the most creative insults that Inuyasha could throw her way didn’t seem to faze her in the least.  In fact, she seemed to be quietly egging him on.

Sitting there, trying not to let the half-breed bother him, Sesshomaru was looking at his miko.  At this point, he wondered just what she had up her sleeve.  In the whole time he had known her, she never let the hanyou get away with this kind of stupidity.  She would take it for so long then start giving it back as good as he gave it.  To sit here and do nothing with an evil smile on her face made him wonder what she was up to.  Knowing her the way he did, he was sure that whatever she was doing had a purpose and would put the hanyou in his place in such a way that the boy wouldn’t forget it any time soon.  At this point, the daiyoukai was torn.  On one had, he wanted to know what she was up to.  But on the other hand, he was certain that it would be hilarious and was something that he would love watching play out.  After a bit of mental debate, tuning out the foul mouthed boy and his insults, he decided that he would just remain a spectator and wait to see.  It was sure to be priceless and well worth the wait.

Having built up a huge head of steam, Inuyasha was rambling, alternating between screaming at the two of them and going off on all but not understandable tirades about both of the two and their alleged parentage when there was a soft knock the back door.  All but jumping to her feet, Kagome started to giggle evilly.  Skirting around the still hopping mad hanyou, she opened the door and stepped outside, shutting it behind her.

Eyebrow arched, Sesshomaru looked at the door and could see a few bodies out there besides his miko.  Though he perked up his ears, he really couldn’t hear anything other than Inuyasha’s name mentioned a few times and the term revenge.  That was enough to tell him that he was going to probably love what was to come.

After a couple minutes, Kagome let herself back in and shut the door behind her, leaning against it.  Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked at Inuyasha, smirking much the way Sesshomaru did.  “Ya’ know Inuyasha; I’m tired of this so it’s going to end.”  She stated firmly but quietly. 

Sneering, the hanyou rounded on her and glared.  “Oh, this isn’t done, not by a long shot wench!”

“Oh but it is!  You need to worry more about you and your own safety now then you do about me and Sesshomaru.”  She told him in a voice that was similar to a cat’s contented purr.

“There is nothing you can do to me that would put me in danger you stupid woman,” he shot back smugly, nose stuck up in the air, an arrogant look on his face.

“Oh, I never said I was going to do anything Inuyasha!  I have some people I want to introduce you to,” she told him, grin spreading across her face.  Stepping back, she opened the door and ushered in six women of various ages and ethnicities.  They were all different in some way or another and one was dressed in some kind of pink fur suit that resembled Godzilla in a vague way. 

Once the ladies where in the kitchen, Kagome shut the door and turned to face the hanyou once more, a superior look on her visage. 

Gazing around at the ningen onna’s assembled, Inuyasha then looked back at Kagome, puzzled. “Just what the fuck is this Kagome?  A bunch of weak women?  Like they can do anything to me!”  He sneered. 

“Oh, but you should be scared of them Inuyasha, more afraid than you ever have been of anyone.”  Stepping to the women, she said, “These are all fan fiction authors that specialize in the pairing of Kagome and Sesshomaru.  It also seems that they have an aversion to you and have tortured and, in come cases, killed you off in many mean and vile ways.” 

Going down the line, she began to name them off, “There is Lady Battousai.  In her story Devour Prometheus, she had you killed off then made into soup and a healing salve.” 

Moving on she pointed to the next woman, “This is MontiK.  She’s out and out killed you off many times.  In the one story, Tainted Past, Tainted Future, she had your brains blown out in the first chapter.  Nothing nice.” 

Stepping to the next person, she said, “This is Miss Kagura.  In her story Mokomoko vs. Miko, she gave you a bit of a pre-release problem when you were struck by Sango.” 

Moving on, she said, then there is Sugar0o… her hatred for you is well known and has turned you into a heartless, cold, stupid philandering creep more than once.” 

Stepping to the next person, she introduced her as Smittee.  “She owns something called Smittee’s Café in the Dokuga chatroom.  Not only has she hosed you down and scrubbed you in front of a room full of women but forced you to dress as a belly dancer for a show and her alter ego chucked chairs at you.  Then, if those weren’t bad enough, you ended up as a hostage for Jakotsu for a while.  We all know how Jakotsu feels about you!”

Moving to the next one, she said, “This is Speedy Tomato.  In her story Sesshomaru’s Princess she had you as not only Kouga’s uke but in a diaper as well.  It was rather amusing.” 

Finally, she made it to the last person.  “Then there is Danyealle.  She’s not only turned you into an abusive idiot that was all but a mindless zombie to Kikyo but also made you into Kouga’s lover.” 

Stepping back over to Sesshomaru, she crossed her arms over her chest, smirking at the hanyou, saying nothing.

Glaring warily at the unfamiliar women in the kitchen, his gaze then slid back to Kagome.  “So they are perverse idiots, so what?  Like they are going to do anything to me?”  He sneered.

“Oh, but I wouldn’t take that attitude Inuyasha,” Kagome said smoothly.  “Sesshomaru and I want some time alone so we are going to go spend the night at a motel.  These ladies have most generously agreed to take you home and babysit you for a while.  It goes without saying that I told them they could do with you as they wanted.”  Nodding to the ladies assembled, she turned to Sesshomaru.  “Shall we go then?  It’ll be nice and quiet for a change.”

Nodding, Sesshomaru stood up but eyed the assembled group warily.  He was well aware what some of these women had done to his cherished person.  Mokomoko vs. Miko wasn’t his favorite story in the world.  Underpants Gnomes was even less so and he did vow revenge for it at some point.  Malady of Mating Season was wrong on more levels than he wanted to think about.  Then there was Opposite Reaction.  The revenge he would get for that was not going to be nice.  Devour Prometheus he would withhold judgment on until it was finished.  However, Sesshomaru’s Princess he would cause pain for.  Finally, there was Sesshomaru vs. the Care Bears.  There was no where in the world that she would be able to hide from his wrath for that one.  But, for now, he would let the ladies live.  They would take the hanyou off his hands and hopefully subdue him for a bit so that he and his miko could get some time alone.  Maybe, just maybe, they might work some magic and calm the boy down.  Skirting around the women, he glared at them to let them know they were most certainly on his shit-list then let Kagome lead him outside. 

Once the couple left, the women assembled turned to face the hanyou, each of them with various stages of a wicked grin on their faces.  The one named MontiK said to Lady Battousai, “I think this is a good time for the use of your baton.”

Nodding sagely, Lady B unsheathed the pink baton then proceeded to whack the hanyou a good one on the back of his head.  Through much practice in the chatroom, she rendered the hanyou unconscious with one blow.  Smiling, she looked at the other ladies.  “OK, subdued.  Now, how do we get him out of here?”

“Oh that’s easy!  Leave it to the r0o!”  Sugar0o said then grabbed a handful of his silver locks then began to drag him behind her walking towards the door.

“That’s our r0o!” Smittee chuckled then followed behind. 

Quickly, all the women exited with their hostage and decided to head towards Dokuga so they could figure out what to do with their new charge.