Thieving Cookies by Shinji Nishizono

Thieving Cookies

Characters: SesshomaruxKagome

Description: ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and Kagome catches Sesshomaru sneaking into her house.

Dedication: Perphila

Rating: MA

A/N: This oneshot was inspired by the December 2010 Dokuga Christmas Exchange Prompt: Sneaky

Disclaimer: I do not make any profit off of this story, and I do not presume to own any of the characters herein.  I merely borrow them from Takahashi Rumiko-san for my own means.  I.E.: InuYasha and it’s characters are not mine, but belong to Takahashi Rumiko.

xXx

Kagome yawned, rubbing her eyes as she sat up in bed.  Something had woken her.  Perhaps it was the pressing need in her bladder.  Grimacing, she stumbled out of bed, nearly taking a nose-dive when her legs tangled in the blankets.

Maybe she should wait till she was more awake?  … but she had to pee!  Grumbling, Kagome left her room and went to the bathroom.

When she came out a few minutes later, she was a little more awake and more than a little hungry.  She decided that she needed a snack.  Maybe bacon.  … mmm...  bacon....

Her mission chosen, she crept down the stairs and walked into the kitchen.  She stopped in the doorway, staring at the person rummaging through her fridge.  “Santa Claus?”

The person turned around, blinking.  No, not Santa.  Just Sesshomaru in a red jacket.  … wait a minute...  “SESSHOMARU?!” she yelped, eyes widening.

“Shhhh!” he hissed, glancing around and frantically waving her silent.

Dear gods, she had to be dreaming.  Clearing her throat, she asked (in a much lower voice), “What the hell are you doing in my house?”

Sesshomaru tilted his head.  “Foraging,” he responded, blinking slowly.

Kagome gaped at him, unsure if she should believe her own ears.  “In my house?  In my house?” she demanded, voice starting to rise again.

He made a face at her volume, but she couldn’t care less.  “Yes, Kagome.  In your house, as you put it.”

What the hell did that mean?!  “Why?”

“People make cookies.  I like cookies,” he replied blandly, though something about his tone told her that he was up to no good.

“So you’re thieving cookies?”  She stared at him, unable to comprehend her former class-mate thieving cookies on Christmas Eve night, of all times.  Didn’t he have this aloof honor code or something?

Sesshomaru paused to consider her choice of words for beat.  Then he nodded.  “Yes.  I am.  Among other things.”

She was almost afraid to ask.  “Like what?”

He gave a little smirk.

xXx

Ten hours later, Kagome woke up in a bed that was not her own, cuddled up to the chest of Taisho Sesshomaru.  Naked chest.  He was naked.

Oh dear gods, he’s naked.  Her brain seemed to be on some sort of repeat.  But... but he was naked.  And good goddess, so was she!  How wasted had she been?!  And whose bed was this anyway?

The last this she remembered was... well... actually, the last thing she remembered was accusing Sesshomaru of thieving cookies (which was entirely true... maybe... wait, or did he just make that up to get in her pants?).  The rest was lost to a drunken, likely sex-crazed, fog.

And oh boy, was she fucking sore.  Literally!

“Good morning,” Sesshomaru rumbled from behind her, voice slightly husky from sleep.

She bit her lip and tried not to panic.  She had lost her virginity to the ice king.  And he was naked (somehow, she decided she must be stuck on that little, very important fact).  What on Earth was she going to do?!

He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, pulling her back against him.  “Calm down, Kagome.  You are stiffer than a board,” he suggested, still half asleep by the sounds of it.

Stiff.  Board.  Cock.  Crap, she was flush against Sesshomaru!  Who was still naked.  “Easy for you to say,” she grumbled.  “You did not just lose your virginity.”

He shrugged.  “This is true.  But you loved every minute of it.”

Kagome wasn’t sure how she felt about someone else telling her her own opinion.  “I don’t really remember,” she admitted carefully, mentally bracing herself.

Sesshomaru paused.  “Really?”

Hesitantly, Kagome turned her head and nodded.  “... yes...”

The silver haired, god-like male with a solid rock body... smirked.  At her.  And then he said,  “Then I am forced to remind you.”

Oh dear gods.

xXx

Later (about an hour, to be precise), Kagome and Sesshomaru sat at his kitchen breakfast island, munching on left over ginger bread cookies from his mother and stale donuts from a week ago.  Neither minded the odd breakfast and were content to sit in silence.

It may have been Christmas, but Kagome was (mostly) sure she had left a note for her family, and she intended on getting home around... say... noon?  Ish?  Well, she wasn’t concerned about it overly much.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Sesshomaru asked suddenly.  He got up and grabbed a box of fortune cookies from the pantry, tossing her one.  “We can watch Frosty the Snowman or something.”

“A cartoon?”  She quirked a brow.  “I didn’t know you were into cartoons, Sessh.”  She cracked open her fortune cookie and snorted after reading the fortune.

Sesshomaru smirked and handed her his.  ‘You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to’.  Kagome rolled her eyes.  “I think the fortune cookie people are pervs.”

“Why?” he asked, brow quirking.  “What does your’s say?”

“‘Do not display your treasures, for others may become envious’,” she quoted.

He smirked.  “Well, well...”

“Movie?” she asked, hopping from the stool and heading for the living room.

Sesshomaru chuckled and followed her.  He went over to the book case that served as a movie case and plucked one of the DVD cases from the mess.  Kagome eyed his butt as he crouched in front of the TV to put in the movie and turn everything on.

Including her, apparently.  Had she always been this sex hungry?  Seriously?  She shook her head to clear it and tried to focus on the starting movie.  Except Sesshomaru was not moving.

Kagome tucked some hair behind her ear.  “Sessh, your butt is in my way,” she informed him shortly.

“Is it?”  He smirked at her over his shoulder before standing and joining her on the couch.  “I thought I would be your window.”

“Well...”  She paused, then continued (a little lamely), “You are a horrible window.”

xXx

Kagome and Sesshomaru never finished their movie.  Instead, they ended up having more sex.  It was ridiculous, really.

xXx

Around three-thirty, Kagome realized that she hadn’t gone home yet.  “Oh, crap!” she cried, panting and stilling underneath her lover.  She’d glimpsed the clock in the middle of yet another session of ‘fuck me please, Sessh!’

He stilled, obviously straining not to just continue.  “What?” he muttered, voice husky and soft.

The sound made her crazy.  “My... Oh gods.  Okay, this is the last time... then I have to go home, Sessh.”

The silver haired male scowled, but nodded.  “Fine.  May I go on, or do you need a break?”

She lifted a brow before dragging her nails lightly down his toned chest and moving her hips to pull him more deeply inside her.  “Just fuck me, you dork.”

He spluttered.  “Dork?!”

xXx

Three thirty turned into five thirty, but they finally made it out of the house, only to fuck in the car and have to go shower.  Again.

xXx

“What is wrong with me?” Kagome panted, clutching the edges of the shower as Sesshomaru did unspeakable things to her lower regions.

“Sorry,” he replied, taking her into his mouth and sucking.

Kagome moaned helplessly, squirming.  She wanted to move her arms, grab onto something steadier, but if she let go, she might fall.  “Oh gods, Sesshomaru...”  She tossed her head, hair matted and soaked as it was continually doused with water.

His tongue dipped inside her before he retrieved it and sucked again, a little harder.  She moaned more loudly.  “I am irresistible,” he continued.  “It is the only explanation.”

She writhed.  “You’re... full of yourself... is what you are,” she panted in between moans.

He thrust two fingers inside her... and sucked again.

She screamed as she came.

xXx

Needless to say, they didn’t leave the house at five thirty.  They were still there at six thirty.

xXx

Around seven, Kagome realized that she’d forgotten again.  She knew this because her phone was ringing, and it was her mother.  “Oh my gods, that woman has horrible timing,” she whined.

“Answer it, because I do not wish to be arrested on Christmas,” he ordered, pausing in his ministrations.

Kagome gulped and grabbed up her cell.  “Okay, fine,” she muttered, answering it.  “Hey mo-om!”  Her eyes widened when he continued.

“Kagome?  Are you alright?” Higurashi Emiko asked, sounding concerned.

Kagome fought to keep her voice even.  “Yeah, Mom.  Just tripped,” the girl replied.  Really, she just wanted to hang up and scream as Sesshomaru slid a third finger inside her.  “Oh god...”

Emiko sounded more worried.  “Are you really okay?  You sound... off...”

“Nope, I’m good.  Look, I probably won’t be back until tomorrow.  I’m staying out late and probably crashing at... ah, a friend’s place,” Kagome explained.  Well, it was mostly the truth, anyway...

“Alright... Are you sure?  If you need a ride home-”

“No!” Kagome yelped at Sesshomaru when he reached for the toy drawer.  He smirked and pulled out a vibrator.

“Okay... no need to shout, Kagome.  Will you have a ride home tomorrow?”

Kagome nodded, swallowed and said, “Yes, I will.”

“Okay.  I love you, sweety.  We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Love you too, Mom.  Bye.”  The girl quickly hung up, just in time for Sesshomaru to turn the toy on.  “You.  Are.  Evil,” she panted.

xXx

Finally, they both seemed to be satisfied.  “What was up with that?” Kagome wondered, relaxed as she lay in Sesshomaru’s arms on the couch.  They were finally finishing their movie (and eating left-over take-out).

Neither had bothered dressing, just in case.

“I do not know,” Sesshomaru replied, watching the cartoon snowman dance across the TV screen.

She sighed and turned her head to nuzzle his throat.  “Well, I have to say that that was the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

“Hnn.  Me too,” he agreed, smiling a little as he looked down at her.

xXx

Meanwhile, across town...

Taisho Inuyasha gaped at his best friend.  “You did what?!” he yelled.

Hoshi Miroku waved a hand to shush him.  “Put an aphrodisiac in their food.  Remember at the party?  Kagome drank too much and left to the bathroom.  Sesshomaru followed to make sure she was alright-”

“And you suggested she eat something when she came back,” Ookami Koga finished, smirking.

Miroku shrugged.  “She should know better than to eat anything I offer her specifically.”

“So the beef and broccoli stuff you gave her was drugged?” Inuyasha asked.

Violet eyes danced mischievously.  “Indeed, my dear friend.”

Inuyasha made a face.  “You realize that when the bastard finds out, you’re dead meat right?”

Miroku frowned at that.  “Well, it was a risk I had to take to ensure their happiness...”

“You just want the perverted details later,” Koga scoffed.

The other male couldn’t deny the claim.  “That too.”

xXx

And they all lived happily ever after!

Actually, though, Miroku spent a week in the hospital and Sesshomaru a night in jail.  But for the sake of a fairy tale ending, we’ll pretend we don’t know that.

xXx

So MomoDesu and I came to the conclusion that this was infected by a r0oplunny, which explains the pure insanity (that, and the fact that I went from mild humor, to crack, to smut in less than 1.5k words), so you can thank that for this.  Hope you like!