What Is It? by Avadrea
That is this Sesshoumaru’s ...
What Is It?
Disclaimer: I don’t own InuYasha or the characters. They belong to their creator Rumiko Takahashi . It was created purely for enjoyment and is not being used to make any money.
A/N: I ask for your forgiveness in advance. This is just a complete crack fanfic made out of horror and humor. My first fanfic please be kind.
@>@>@
“What do you mean ‘what is it?’” Sango tilted her head in reaction to Kagome’s question.
“Well you’re a demon slayer right?” She probed looking down at her hands a little embarrassed by her own curiosity. “Don’t you know what it is?”
Sango tapped a finger against the side of her jaw as she thought. “Well I’ve never seen one before so I don’t know. I just always assumed it was simply part of his armor.”
The two women both cast a quick, furtive glance over towards the subject of their current discussion. The demon lord either didn’t notice or was choosing to ignore them as he continued to stare off into the night. The pristine white fur that had aroused their curiosity draped over his shoulder to lay with deceiving innocence in his lap. Kagome watched as his clawed fingers moved slowly through the soft looking mass gasping slightly when it twitched.
“No it’s attached to him.” Kagome tore her eyes away from the snowy mystery. “I’ve seen him in his true form and he had it then too.”
“Maybe it is just more of his fur.” Miroku decided to join the discussion. Apparently Kagome’s curiosity was contagious. “Perhaps it is something akin to a mane. I have once had the chance to see a horse youkai in human form. He did have a mane all the way down his spine. “
Sango nodded in agreement as if that was a very probable answer to their conundrum but Kagome shook her head. “No that can’t be it either. I’m certain that it’s some sort of limb. I mean… “ She flushed softly looking into the fire. “It MOVES.”
“WHAT?!” Sango and Miroku both stared at her in surprise.
Kagome fidgeted under their stares and turned an even deeper shade of rouge. “It… touched me.” She confessed unable to look at them. Touched really wasn’t the right word. Fondled, groped, invaded her personal space intimately, those where much more fitting descriptions of what the strange furry appendage had done. But the poor priestess didn’t really want to bring up any of those words since she was sure even IF the “cursed” monk didn’t do anything untoward, just hearing such things spoken aloud would cause Sango to react with a well honed instinct and Kagome was beginning to worry about the long term health of the monk’s brain and its future ability to function properly.
“THAT BASTARD TOUCHED YOU WITH IT!” Kagome jumped in surprise at the thick rage in InuYasha’s voice as he stormed over to crouch next to her. His brilliant yellow eyes seemed to glow with anger. “Don’t EVER let him touch you with IT again! You got that?! NEVER!”
“It’s not like I LET it touch me!” Kagome shot back irritated at the hint of blame in her friend’s words before her own eyes narrowed in realization. “You know what it is don’t you?!” she accused crossing her arms.
The anger instantly fled from his eyes and his red face paled to a sickly white. “Keh. I aint sayin nothin.” The inu hanyou grumbled as he plopped down next to Kagome.
“So you do know what Sesshoumaru-sama’s interesting artifact is my friend.” Miroku pursed the question despite his friends warning look.
“I told ya. I aint sayin nothin. “ InuYasha huffed crossing his arms. “Trust me ya don’t wanna know anyway. And you..” He turned back to Kagome. “I mean it. Don’t let him touch ya with it ever again. It’s bad enough HE’s always touchin it.”
“I don’t see what the bid deal is. I mean he touched you with it to!” It was Kagome’s turn to huff as she glared at the grumpy half-demon. “Remember back at your father’s tomb. He grabbed you with it and…”
Kagome lost her voice at the sudden look on her best friends face. It was a twisted look of horror, disgust, and anger. In a moment he had leapt to his feet and was shaking an angry fist at her. “Don’t EVER mention that again! EVER!” In a flash he was gone. The only sign that he had taken refuge in the branches of a nearby tree was his cross growling and grumbling about stupid ningen joshi.
The silence that followed seemed to last for hours until suddenly it was broken by the high-pitched chirp from the fox kit. “Maybe it’s his tail!” Shippo reignited the debate as he tugged on his own bushy appendage.
“Do you really think his tail would be THAT long?” Sango rejoined with a curious tilt to her head. “It’s awful long and flexible for a dog’s tail.”
Kagome frowned thoughtfully as she twirled a blade of grass between her fingers. “Maybe it’s some form of parasitic demon that has attached itself to him and feeds off his demonic energy.” After all what could there be about it that was so horrifying and disgusting to InuYasha.
She heard Sango snort in derision at the very idea and couldn’t help but laugh at her own outrageous theory. “Yeah your right.” She conceded. “Like Lord Fluffy Butt would let some parasite dare violate his noble, perfect body.”
Her three fireside companions went a little pale and cast worried glances towards the relaxing Killing Perfection at the less than honorable title Kagome had just casually bestowed upon him. He remained either ignorant or stoutly disinterested in the human discussion.
Sighing Kagome threw her hands up in the air. “That’s it! I give up. There is only one way we will ever know.” With that she got to her feet and to her companions’ horror marched right up to the seemingly ignorant Taiyoukai.
She cleared his throat only to roll her eyes a few moments later when he continued to ignore her standing before him. Kagome decided that to get what she wanted from the arrogant demon she would have to try her best to be as direct as she could. He did not seem to like it when someone, especially a human, wasted his time. Taking a deep breath she dove in bravely.
“Lord Sesshoumaru. I don’t mean to bother you but I would be very honored if you would answer a question I have.”
His eyes turned to her face regarding her with his cold uninterested stare. She had his attention at least. After a moment of regarding her, his silver eyebrow rose just a little and she translated that as Sesshoumaru for ‘Ask your question and be done with it before I rip off your head annoying female.’
She nodded and cleared her throat. Before she could think of a good way to phrase her curiosity the words just tumbled from her mouth. “What is that?” She flinched as she looked down at her own finger jabbing in the air towards the nestled fur in his lap. He mother had taught her it was rude to point, she really had. Hopefully she would come away from this with her delicate finger still attached to her stupid body.
Slowly his eyes dropped to look down at the soft white fur she was pointing at then lifted back up to meet her eyes. His expression remained calm and unchanged and for a few moments she didn’t think he would answer as his clawed hands continued to stroke lightly through said fur. “That’” he finally intoned with a callous casualness. “Is this Sesshoumaru’s penis. “
Kagome felt her whole being go completely frozen with shock as his golden eyes continued to stare unwaveringly into her own. There was no hint of mischief or humor. Not the slightest twist of sarcasm. No he was not joking, not in the least. It was indeed his..
Distantly a part of her mind realized that her mouth was hanging open and she closed it with a resounding click of her teeth. Minutes passed or maybe it was hours and she opened her mouth again thinking to say something in rebuttal. When no sound escaped her throat she snapped it closed again before spinning on her heal to walk with a stunned gait back to the silent group around the fire.
The other members of her group didn’t even look at her. All sets of white rimmed eyes where staring at the taiyoukai who, in turn, sat completely ignoring their collective gaze as he continued to stare off into the forest lazily stroking his… ‘thing’.
“I told ya, ya didn’t wanna to know.” InuYasha groused from up in the tree.
Kagome’s eyes widened, his voice finally breaking her out of her shock. Her cheeks suddenly flooded with a brilliant shade of red as her mind made quick stumbling conclusion and flooded her with certain memories. That is when she screamed in a dawning horror.
“IT’ touched me!”
@>@>@
A/N: This is what evil results from my friends and I discussing the mysterious of the universe at 3 in the morning. And yes Sessy’s Mokomoko is one of the greatest mysteries of the universe.
I SOOO do not want to think about Jaken clinging to Sesshy’s… thing.
OK ok.. one can say Sesshy misunderstood what Kagome was pointing at since mokomoko was in his lap… heheh
All the theory’s brought up (other than the penis) where ones that I had read on a forum discussing Mokomoko, including the parasitic demon theory.
Also I am looking for a possible correction. I has seen people use the word onnas (plural) for women in fanfics but when I look it up it is joshi dose anyone know which would be correct? I am going to go with joshi since I don’t think the Japanese language pluralizes words the way we do.
Terms:
Ningen: human
Joshi: women
Taiyoukai: demon lord, great demon, high demon
Youkai: demon
Inu: dog
Hanyou: half-demon
Special thanks: Liz and Amanda for the 3am debate that sparked this. A second thanks to Amanda for betaing my story.