A Dokuga Ninja Tale! by Tal
A Dokuga Ninja Tale
Disclaimer: I own nothing you'd recognize.
A Dokuga Ninja Tale
Looking over her village, Skye clenched her kunai. It looked peaceful now, but there were rumors that the Bunny Village had been taken over and corrupted, and its new leader was threatening war.
Sesshoumaru, their leader, was unsurprisingly close-lipped about plans to defend their village in the case of an attack. Unsurprising because currently, his lips were preoccupied with his new mate, Kagome. Now, the whole village was thrilled that their Ice Prince, Sesshoumaru, finally found someone to love in the form of warm, bubbly, Kagome. It became less thrilling when their behavior became un-ninja-like, and they couldn’t hide their… passion like any ninja worth their shuriken could. Recently, parents had taken to walking their kids everywhere, if only to hide their eyes when their leader and his new mate were too … absorbed to put up even a weak genjutsu to hide their… activities.
“Skye-san!” The jounin turned to see one of the chuunin she knew, Tal, come up to her. “Skye-san, Sesshoumaru-sama has called for you. I think it’s a mission to the Bunny Village!” Tal’s eyes were wide with excitement as she relayed the news. Skye wondered if perhaps someone had given the chuunin some sugar recently… Tal was certainly bouncy enough to warrant that deduction.
“Very well, lead on,” Skye smiled at the chuunin, who went into business mode and leapt off over the rooftops towards headquarters. Skye followed after, mindful to not overtake the excited chuunin with her superior speed and overall awesomeness.
In no time at all, both ninja were standing at attention in front of Sesshoumaru, who was currently struggling to concentrate as his mate stood behind him, nibbling on his ear and running her hands up and down his arms. Still, despite his recent lapses, Sesshoumaru was a first-rate shinobi, and therefore his face showed no sign of the effect his mate was having on him.
“Jounin Skye, Chuunin Tal,” Sesshoumaru tried to lean forward, but his mate was having none of that. So, he merely sat back in his chair and tried to look imposing, even as he knew he had failed due to his overly affectionate mate. It was the thought that counted, though. Besides, his ninja knew better than to snicker or make snide comments about his new mate. The last ninja who tried that was his own half-brother, and he spared no thought for even their shared blood when he beat Inuyasha into a coma.
No, the Dokkasou Village ninja were the best ninja around. And most of them knew to behave in front of their leader. “I have received reports that the Bunny Village is planning an assault. Jounin Skye, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to derail their plans in any shape, fashion, or form. Should you be caught, Dokkasou Village will disavow any knowledge of your actions, and will not take any measures to defend you. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.”
Skye and Tal tensed as the five seconds passed, but nothing happened. They looked at each other, and then, since Tal was of a lower rank, she was nominated to speak. “Er, Sesshoumaru-sama, I think you got the wrong fandom there.”
Sesshoumaru coughed into his hand, even as his maroon cheek stripes got a little darker. “Ah, yes. Anyway, for that smart-aleck comment, Chuunin Tal, you will accompany Jounin Skye. You will leave in an hour. Good luck.” Tal thought she’d rather need it… Not that Skye was a horrible person, but this mission sounded very, very important and if she screwed up, Tal was sure she’d be dead, one way or another.
* * *
In an hour, both kunoichi met up at the village gates. “Got everything you’ll need, Tal-chan?” Skye asked.
Tal nodded. “Food, clothes, carrots, poison, shuriken, kunai…”
Before the chuunin could go on, Skye held up a hand. “Carrots?”
“Well, yeah! We’re going to Bunny Village, after all! Bunnies just look so cute when they’re eating one that I just had to bring some!” Tal defended.
As they leapt out of the gate, to complete the mission, Tal could’ve sworn she heard Skye say something like “This mission is doomed. I’m doomed. The village is doomed. We’re all doomed. I might as well sing the doom song as we’re going off to our doom.” But that was just plain silly. Skye didn’t even know the doom song… did she?
* * *
When they got to the Bunny village, they were horrified at the change that had occurred. What had been a sweet, light village full of almost insanely happy people was now a dark, brooding emo place. The bunnies that hopped through were horribly deformed with no arms, and now breathing fire.
“Oh dear… I think I know who’s behind this,” Skye said grimly, drawing out a kunai from her pouch and clenching it tightly.
Tal shook slightly. “Huh? Skye-san, what’s going on?”
“Check your Bingo Book, page 378.” Tal did as she was told, and came across a page with a terrifying entry.
“Name: Sugar0o. Level: S-Rank nin. Village: Unknown. Special abilities: Can mutate bunnies into plot bunnies (or plunnies) and glue them to people.” Tal’s eyes widened. “So you think that this… sugar0o did all this to the Bunny village?” She looked at the picture on the page, of a kunoichi in a pink monster suit, complete with horns and a tail.
Skye thought about that. “Maybe,” she grudgingly admitted. “It’s more likely that her mutation powers went wonky and mutated the Bunny Village into the Plunnie Village. And that caused the village to… turn out like it did.”
“Wow, Skye-sama, you know EVERYTHING!” Tal’s eyes widened in hero worship.
“No,” Skye chuckled, “I just know r0o too well.”
“What’s the plan, Skye-sama?” Tal’s fingers dipped into her own weapons pouch.
Skye twirled her kunai around her finger. “I figure if we go in and start eliminating the more evil-looking plunnies, the Village itself will stop looking so… evil.”
“So… go in, kill the plunnies that are singing Barney, and get out?” Tal summed up.
“Yes, that’ll do.” Skye confirmed.
* * *
Nearly two hours later, Skye was in a battle for her life. After assassinating many of the evil, mutated plunnies, she had accidentally run into the plunnie leader herself, r0o. And r0o, even though she was glad to get rid of the excess of mutated plunnies, still had her honor to think about, and fought the ninja who was killing off her plunnie army. So Skye and r0o entered a battle that was made of epicness and awesome background music.
“Ha, you dare to kill my plunnies?” r0o had pinned Skye to the ground, and, since it was in the evil villain handbook, she had to monologue.
“I had a great setup here. Bunnies abounded, and I mutated them and the village got a whole lot more fun! But then you had to come in here with your kunai and shuriken and start killing off my plunnies! No respect, I tell ya, no respect! Why, just last week…”
As r0o monologued due to handbook rules, Skye stealthily reached for a pouch that she knew held r0o’s weakness. It took a while, but then again, the handbook said that an evil villain must monologue long enough for the hero to come up with some sort of escape plan.
“… and then a horde of platypus ate all of our potatoes and I really hope that you’ve come up with an escape plan already. I really hate union rules, yanno? I have to make up a speech EVERY TIME one of you heroes comes along and frankly, it’s getting tiring and I’ve started to make up words. Like flubertone. That’s not even a word. I don’t even know what it means, but I can monologue about it for a long time. Hey, are you done coming up with a plan to thwart me yet?”
Skye nodded. “Yes, in fact.” And at that, with all epic heroicness in mind, Skye flung up her hand that had been digging inside a pouch.
From her hand came forth a great deal of glitter. Skye, using one of her special talents, multiplied the glitter and made it stick to r0o. As expected, r0o recoiled from the glitter and tried to flee, but the glitter flew unerringly to r0o and stuck to her body.
“Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!” the cry echoed throughout the village, and many of the plunnies took their cue to flee. Tal, also decided to exit and wait for her mission partner outside the village gate. That cry was one of ultimate, glittery despair.
Free of r0o, Skye stood up, and made a few quick hand signs. From nowhere, a big, humongous hammer appeared. Trying to dust some glitter off, r0o looked up at the menacing figure Skye made and shuddered. “No, really, you already covered me in glitter. Must you do more?”
Skye shrugged and nodded. Screaming “DENIED!!!”, Skye swung her giant hammer (known as the BAN HAMMER to certain people) and it connected with r0o’s face. Instead of it seriously crushing r0o’s face like any normal hammer would, the BAN HAMMER instead sent r0o flying, much like in an anime. Skye swore she heard something like “Team r0ocket is blasting off again!” as r0o flew up and far away from the Bunny Village. But that was ridiculous, as that would meant someone was copying the Pokemon anime, and that couldn’t be… could it?
Still, the mission was finished, as Skye could already feel the Bunny Village returning to its light, ditzy state. And like any good ninja, Skye vanished since her mission was completed.
* * *
Skye and Tal walked through the Dokkasou Village gates, satisfied with their complete mission. They went to report in, to find a sign on the door “Sorry, Sesshoumaru is currently at the Village Square. Please check in there.”
The two ninja looked at each other, and Tal shrugged. “Might as well.” Skye agreed, and both set off to the Village Square.
When they got there, however, they were surprised to see no one there. Skye drew a blank, but Tal had an idea. “Er, Skye-san… maybe it’s a genjutsu? I don’t have enough energy left to disperse it, but…”
With a sigh, Skye formed the seal with her hands and released the genjutsu.
“SURPRISE!!!”
The jounin restrained her first impulse (to throw ninjutsu out into the crowd along with a hail of shuriken and kunai) and instead stared at the Village Square, which was now full of ninjas holding balloons, presents, and all sorts of party favors.
Beside her, Tal grinned. “Happy Birthday Skye-hime! It sure was lucky that ninja r0o acted up at that time so everyone could get ready for your party!”
Skye couldn’t respond to that, as she was being swept up by the party-goers and was guided along the whole Square and towards the center.
In the middle, Sesshoumaru smirked, and Kagome hung off his arms adoringly. “Jounin Skye, here are some presents for you.”
There was a mountain of presents, but in front of them were two very special gifts from the leader and his mate. First was Inuyasha, who had apparently been healed for this special occasion and tied up with a huge ribbon and a bow. Two tinier bows were perched atop his twitching ears, and despite all of Inuyasha’s trying, they wouldn’t come off. Beside him was Miroku, also wrapped up in a huge bow. The difference was, this bow was covering up certain regions, as Miroku had apparently decided to not wear clothes under the bow, like Inuyasha had. The monk’s eyebrow wiggled at Skye suggestively, while Inuyasha seemed to be pleading with his eyes to be let go.
Skye paused only for a moment before she moved to the two males After all, this was her birthday, wasn’t it? And good birthday girls opened their presents, Skye thought, smirking.
_____________
A/N: Do not own; Mission: Immpossible, Invader Zim, Pokemon, OR the BAN HAMMER. If I missed anything else you recognize, I don't own it. Happy Birthday, Skye! In honor of another year full of your ninja-ness, I wrote this for you! :3 Oh, if you wanna see the BAN HAMMER, check out Fox's fanartz of Skye ^_^
Oh, and I based a lot of the ninja stuff off of Naruto. Genjutsu are illusionary techniques, kunai and shuriken are types of weapons used by ninjas, hand signs are... hand signs that you make to do the jutsus... and anything else I forgot, if you don't know what it is, feel free to ask me.
Hope you enjoyed, and Happy Reading!
Tal