Barrage of Emotions by Trinity

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

This song fic is dedicated to Lady Midnight, since this was her prompt for this song.

Prompt rules:

Has to be about Sesshoumaru's life after losing everything.

Use the song: Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

Can be in the Modern or Feudal era

No limits but must acknowledge rating

Choice of using the lyrics

No word limit

Warning: Rated M due to character deaths and minor swearing.

~@@~~@~~@@~

 walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

'Do you have someone to protect...?' Those six words always rebounded in his head, haunting and teasing him throughout his life. He once had someone to protect, a little human girl. She was gone, just like everyone else that floated threw his life. Aside from the annoying green toad, he wondered if the loneliness that ate at his soul would be less aggravated by the loss of the constant squawks and pathetic whimpers for his life.

 The thing was, that human girl wasn't the only one he had in his life at one time, there was another. A young miko who he felt an attachment to. Her name was Kagome, unlike the human child who's name was lost in time, the miko's name forever haunted him like those six words spoken by his father so long ago.

 I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

and I'm the only one and I walk alone

He once thought, that with her, he could forget his loneliness.

 Her smiles, her laughter, her innocent demeanor, and even her constant chatter could push away the void and fill it with companionship and joy. It seemed like it was going to happen, but that retched half-breed ruined it all, tore her from his grasp with lies of love and loss without her. It tore at his thawed heart causing the melted pieces to shatter and reshape into a hardened crystal.

 He felt betrayed, and knew than that no other would ever get close to him again. Only her, if she ever seen the truth of the lies spun to her.

 I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk a...

It never happened, the hanyou pupped her many of times and their pups powerful due to her strong miko abilities. The half breed though died quite soon after his tenth pups birth, by then the oldest pups age was that of the mikos when he himself fell into an attachment with her. The miko, alone and devastated by the Hanyou's death, died a slow painful death. A death of loneliness, and despair at the truths finally shown to her eyes of her beloveds deceit.

 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

When he had found her dead body, all that stood beside him was his shadow and slowly dying hearts soft beating. She was as young as the last day he had seen her, never aging, never decaying...but here she was. Her pups no where in sight or in his senses range. She was deserted.

 It stung him greatly that such a precious being was left like this, alone to die, to not know that someone cared. Bowing his head he prayed silently for the miko. Turning he called Uh-An who carried upon his back a large box, he had this crafted with the best wood and materials when he heard of her death.

 Picking the heavy piece off the dragons back he turned his golden gaze to the miko once more before turning back to the dragon to take the pouch of flowers from the satchel on his side. Placing them by the wooden box he moved to the miko who wore only her white night gown.

 Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

 Sighing heavily he lifted the slight weight and placed her gently in the box, her body cushioned by the softest materiel he could find filled with bird feathers. Leaning over he kissed her cold forehead and then stood straight and tall. This was good bye and he knew it, no more would he hear or see the cheerfulness of the miko, all that was left were her descendants.

 He would find them in the future.

 Maybe.

 He enjoyed his path of being alone. It never caused him pain like this.

 I'm walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the border line

Of the edge and where I walk alone

Opening the bag of flower petals, he dumped them over her body, once empty he stepped back and knelt down. Staring at the seemingly sleeping face of the miko he let out a sigh, it was done. Sliding the cover in place he pushed the box holding the precious cargo to the river that would lead to the heart of the western lands. Stopping at the edge he stared into the rushing water that reminded him so much of her. Shaking his head he gave one last push and watched the box fall into the water and quickly float away from him.

 Read between the lines

What's fucked up and everything's alright

Check my vital signs

To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

Turning his back he made his way back into the forest, he was on the edge, he craved touch, but he knew the pain that would come with it. Was it worth it just to have a fleeting affair with something other than loneliness. Was it worth the pain of a shattering heart, repairing itself into a harder material than before, would he regret his action...or would he revel in the brief respite from the silence.

 He stopped abruptly then. He was alive, he was alive when he felt anything other than the void. But was it alright to feel anything but the void, it kept him safe, away from the negative feelings that follow the positive. The void was like death, at least that was how the miko compared it.

 I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk alone

I walk a...

Sometimes the miko would joke on how the only way she knew he was alive was his warm skin and breathing. It made him smirk slightly every time which caused her so much joy to see something other than the passive look that was always on his face. It caused something to swell within him whenever he made her smile. Some would call it affection or love, he knew better.

 His distance from others kept him safe.

 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

Continuing his walk from her burial place, well close enough to her burial place, he followed the shadows that calmed his hurting soul.

 As he walked further and further from the rivers edge he could hear in the distance her pups, their mournful cries echoed through the darkened forest. Unlike them he had to keep his despair of her passing quiet, it was unbecoming of the Western Lord to show such emotion. Especially for a lowly human. This caused a smirk to cross his features since once she said something similar to him.

 Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah

Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone

I walk a...

Such a peculiar creature, the miko was always causing some sort of reaction from him and he knew he would miss it in the years to come. He at least had her pups and soon more descendants of hers to find some form of comfort in when he did decide to expose himself to them. Til then he would continue in his own little world. The coldness of youkai court, the coldness of an unshared bed, the lifelessness of his castle, just servants to keep him company.

 He was used to it so it shouldn't be that hard to live with it once again without the miko and the human child.

 I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk a...

You would think that walking constantly on a road with no one else, would wear down a persons sanity, but his sanity was still intact and quite sane, what wasn't was his soul. It was in tatters now that there was no one to continue mending it, pieces of emptiness were surrounded by feelings once inspired by the human females, one would think that a soul not whole would be the death of him, but he was practically born with it. Raised to take his fathers spot, unloved by his mother, and his spot in his fathers favor taken away from him by a mere hanyou and his human mother.

 His road was started before he was born to traverse alone, yet every single fork in the road gave him a chance for a short reprieve from that journey. He knew that another would come again but knew he would most likely ignore it in favor of licking his wounds caused by his half brothers mate. Never his, but always his deep with in his heart and soul.

 There were others out there, but none were her and never would be here. So he learned.

 My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone...

He learned quickly though after her, that his travels were for him alone to traverse, the road he traveled was not meant for another to share with, he had no idea as to where he was going, but he continued on in hopes that one day his travels would change to allow a companion by his side once more. A companion to chase away the loneliness deep inside, like the miko that held a piece of his heart within her hands.

~@@~~@~~@@~

I err, so here we go, I tried my hand at a different style than my usual. I ain't sure fully how it turned out, not exactly what I planned...overly depressing then my usual happy go lucky fics...so uh...I probably bombed it. Review? :3