My Bloodied Sakura by MissTeak

The Crow

Standard disclaimers apply.

A/N: Thank you for the kind reviews on the first chapter of ‘My Bloodied Sakura’. I have received a mixture of opinions – most prefer to see a continuation of the story, while some have expressed that it could do without an epilogue. Of course, it’s up to the reader to decide if you want to read or not, so just ignore the epilogue if you do not wish to see what happens next.

Thank you for your opinions once again and here is the epilogue, based off the second prompt in the 14 Symbol Challenge, ‘Crow’.

My Bloodied Sakura

14 Symbol Challenge, Prompt 2: Crow

Called karasu in Japanese, early Taoist belief taught that a three-legged red or golden crow lived in the sun, so it is a sun symbol. A three-legged crow is the messenger of Amaterasu, the Shinto goddess of the sun; she commands the skies (the Plain of Heaven) and without her the sun will not appear. Thanks to its position as a messenger, the crow is sometimes a bird of ill omen. Crows appear on Shinto shrines belonging to the Kumano sect. Due to its odd number of legs it is a yang bird. 

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“You look so beautiful today, Kagome-sama. White compliments your lovely skin and features very well.” The maidservant holding the waxed paper umbrella over her commented respectfully, smiling at the young lady who was clad in pure white. “Lord Sesshoumaru will be so happy to see you.”

She was dressed in pure white as a symbol of her being pure and innocent, ready for her husband and his family to paint on the blank canvas that was her.

Nodding deeply at the compliment, Kagome met the maidservant’s eyes with her own, under the white wataboshi hood over her head. The twelve-layered white kimono was not the only thing on her petite frame that was heavy; her heart was equally heavy if not more so.

“You should smile, Kagome-sama. Such a joyous occasion should be celebrated, and it is with the smiles that good luck and blessings would arrive.”

Mechanically, as if she was nothing but a robot, Kagome forced the corners of her rouge painted lips to turn upwards in a stiff smile. The happiness in the atmosphere was grim, and she could see the obvious efforts made by the servants in cheering up.

That was the whole idea of this wedding, wasn’t it? She thought wistfully, willing herself to be happier, or at the very least, appear to be happier. Sesshoumaru did not need to see a gloomy, dull face on his new bride. But the point was not about getting married…it was done for superstition at the insistence of some of the senior maidservants and Sesshoumaru’s retainers. They firmly believed that a joyous occasion in the household would definitely dispel the bad luck that had been plaguing their lord, and had begged the stoic demon lord again and again to agree to the matrimonial union between himself and his lovely human caretaker.

Of course, being from the twenty-first century, Kagome knew that such superstitious practices were probably nothing more than fallacy. But in the face of Sesshoumaru’s increasingly poor health, she was more than willing to throw all her cynicism to the wind and make a last-ditch effort at helping him regain his health. Marrying for the sake of marrying was a tiny price to pay if it meant helping him in any way.

Besides, she really wanted to be his wife.

Meanwhile, a lone crow cawed from its position on the branches of a tree in the courtyard of the villa.

Snow fell gently, shrouding the majestic surroundings in a layer of frosty magic.

Kagome tried to block the sounds of the crow’s caws out. She was getting married to Sesshoumaru today, and she wasn’t going to let the ill omen get to her in any way.

She continued walking to the Shinto altar which had been set up in the villa’s Grand Hall, where Sesshoumaru, the priest and the handful of guests were awaiting. They couldn’t go anywhere else for the wedding, not even to the Shinto shrines in the city, for the winter was harsh and Sesshoumaru’s health did not permit travelling.

Kagome recalled that Sesshoumaru had initially been outraged at their suggestion, unwilling to comply no matter what the others had said.

There was no way he would marry Kagome, he had decided, unbeknownst to her. There was no way he would allow himself to lock her in the prison of marriage so cruelly, before leaving her behind as a widow when his time in the living realm was up.

Kagome had already shown him so much kindness, staying by his side when most would have ran away or shunned him out of fear. He was clearly aware of her feelings for him, but he could not be so unreasonable as to take her lifelong happiness away. Despite knowing that Kagome would probably take his rejection of the idea of marriage personally as a rejection of her feelings, Sesshoumaru was not going to relent.

Besides, she was intending to marry him because the others were telling her to, probably scaring her into marriage with dramatic tales of how he was going to wither and die if she did not comply. She was literally being forced onto a terminally-ill tuberculosis patient, who had unknown chances of survival and might not survive to witness the next cherry blossom season.

“This Sesshoumaru will never agree to marry the girl,” He said stubbornly, ignoring Jaken’s cries of protest.

“B-But Sesshoumaru-sama!! The marriage would do you nothing but good! Kagome-sama has been here with you for so long, and she deserves a title. The good luck brought by the joyous occasion would balance the misfortune, and you’ll get well in no time!” Jaken stuttered and rambled on and on, as if Sesshoumaru was not already aware of their intentions. “Besides, if you didn’t…if you didn’t…pardon this lowly one, milord, but you might die!”

“We beseech you to reconsider, milord!” His other retainers chorused, bowing till their foreheads touched the ground.

“This Sesshoumaru does not fear death.” The demon lord insisted, narrowing his eyes in a threatening glare to shut all his retainers up, before cursing his weakened body when he immediately launched into a violent coughing fit.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!!”

“Do not come over…this Sesshoumaru is fine…” He wheezed, folding the blood-stained handkerchief in his hands up. “…if anyone dares to speak of this…marriage again…this Sesshoumaru will personally see to it that the girl is being sent away…”

“But, Sesshoumaru-sama! Please reconsider-”

“Are you defying my authority?” He had raised his voice at his men, noting how they hurriedly retreated.

So feeble was he; he could not even command anyone with the same amount of authority he used to possess. Now, he had to raise his voice to get a point across. In the past, there was no one who had dared to use the word ‘but’ in refutation to his words. He was now nothing but a toothless tiger – still menacing when silent, but utterly useless and unintimidating the moment he opened his mouth.

What used to come from his lips were words which could send brave warriors and learned officials cowering in fear and make the most authoritative rulers nod in agreement. But now, with this cursed disease eating away at his health, all that came forth from his lips was his life blood. He was literally coughing himself to death – the great Lord of the West, coughing to a miserable, dishonorable death. It would have made a fine joke at the royal banquets if it wasn’t for the fact that it was reality.

As if that was not humiliating enough, they were now telling him to marry Kagome so as to welcome good fortune into the home and hence, have his life prolonged. That was utter humiliation in Sesshoumaru’s opinion; he had to be forced to marry, and on top of that, marry the woman whom he held feelings for just so that she could be his lucky amulet and help ward ill fortune off.

The idea was utterly, hopelessly and terribly ridiculous.

But eventually, he relented, and was now moments away from being married to the woman who had stayed by his side as he wasted away. He had relented because Kagome had come to his room one night and sat herself silently by his futon, watching him unmovingly…

“What is it?” He had finally asked, slightly irritated by how she was simply there but not doing anything else.

She had remained silent with her head lowered, shielding her eyes from his view. The faint candlelight flickered, casting strange shadows on whatever he could see of her face from his position on the futon. Her lower lip trembled ever so subtly, delicate like the wings of the occasional moth which flew into his room.

Holding in the urge to tell her to get out of his chambers, Sesshoumaru simply turned in the bed to face the other side of the room. If she wasn’t planning on speaking, he would simply ignore her until she decided her next move. Though his physical condition was in no way comparable to what it used to be at his prime, he prided himself on having a mental will which was still strong and unwavering.

Sesshoumaru had always been under the impression that he was immune to awkward silences and tense atmosphere, but when it came to Kagome, the silence seemed exceptionally pronounced. Every heartbeat appeared so crude and deafening, and every movement seemed too uncalled for. His coughs, no matter if they were gentle or violent, were almost taboo in the face of this overwrought silence.

Then he heard her draw a shuddering breath. Funny how something so quiet and private could be so amplified in such silence, he thought, feigning slumber.

“Am I…am I that repulsive?”

Repulsive? Where had that come from? Sesshoumaru thought inwardly, still refusing to budge from his position on the futon, before a thought dawned upon him. She couldn’t be referring to…

“I accidentally overheard your conversation with Jaken-san, Katou-san and the rest of the retainers…” Kagome continued speaking, her voice heavy with poorly-concealed sorrow and disappointment. “…why?”

“Why is it that you’re so reluctant to agree to the marriage?” She questioned softly, and from her voice, Sesshoumaru could tell that she was not expecting a response from him. Somehow, Kagome had genuinely believed him to be sleeping.

“I know I am nothing but a mere human girl, and to wish to marry someone of your social standing and noble heritage is perhaps the most naïve and silly dream.” Kagome’s voice was resigned, and it betrayed the young, innocent girl behind the optimistic, tough and determined façade she had always worn in front of him.

“…but that doesn’t mean I don’t dream. I still do.” Her words were so light, but they held the impact of a roaring tsunami wave.

Sesshoumaru froze on his futon, unable to believe his ears.

“I can never be good enough for you, considering who I am. But I will always be here for you…I will always stay by your side. It doesn’t matter if the time we spend together is short or long; the duration matters not as long as we have hope and we treasure every moment we have at present.” Kagome said softly, her voice rising in pitch ever so often with her growing emotions. “Do you remember what you’ve said in spring?”

Of course he did; he had told her that he would love to see the cherry blossoms with her every year.

“You told me you wanted to watch the cherry blossoms with me next spring. It’s already early winter now…you are doing so well, battling the disease so courageously. Spring is coming in the twinkling of an eye, and the cherry blossoms would soon visit the vast lands again. But why are you pushing me away?”

Foolish girl, you will never understand this Sesshoumaru’s good intentions-

“Is it because you’re worried that you’ll pass away one day and leave me all alone as a widow?” She questioned gently, fixing her watery eyes on his stiffened back.

Kagome was apparently a lot less foolish than Sesshoumaru had thought her to be.

“If that’s what you’re worried about, I’d be really, really mad at you.” She laughed wistfully, missing the way his back stiffened even more at her words. “Simply because the worst thing you could do to hurt me is to deny me the happiness of being by your side. It matters not to me if I am your wife for simply a day or two…I’d rather have that short-lived happiness than live alone without you for years to come.”

Kagome’s words, spoken with so much sadness, elicited the instinctive urge to clarify his genuine intentions within his heart. Yet his obstinate nature and rationality argued that what he was doing was for her good, and such a hurtful decision would actually benefit the lovely girl in the long run.

Torn between two options, all Sesshoumaru could do was opt for silence as he had always done. He had no idea if Kagome was astute enough in her observation to notice that he was only pretending to sleep, but neither did he have the intention to check if she had noticed so. Not moving a muscle, he kept his eyes closed until he heard her gentle footsteps and the sounds of the shoji door opening and sliding shut again.

The next morning, he announced his impending marriage by means of an official proclamation.

It was when he personally asked for her hand in marriage did Sesshoumaru realize that he had never seen a more dazzling smile on a person’s face. Kagome never asked him for the reasons behind his decision, and neither did she ever find out if he had been genuinely sleeping that night.

The crow continued cawing ominously.

It was an ill omen, and everyone knew it. Crows which cawed at supposedly joyous events like this were said to be bringing news of impending death.

Death…it seems like you wouldn’t leave us alone even on such a special day, Kagome thought sadly. As if noticing their Lady’s obvious unhappiness, some of the male servants hastily ran to the tree where the bird was perched, yelling and waving their arms in a bid to scare the creature away.

Please, go away. I am getting married today. I am getting married to Sesshoumaru.

…I want to be happy.

Please, go away.

But alas, the crow continued cawing, its cries desolate and forlorn as they echoed in the wintry air.

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The skies overlooking the villa were once again dyed a fragrant pink when spring returned to visit, erasing all traces of the bitter winter from Kyoto. At the foot of one of the cherry blossom trees, a couple sat on opposite sides of the tree’s trunk with their backs against the bark.

"The cherry blossoms this year are spectacular as well, aren't they?" Kagome commented, looking out into the distant sea of pink. It was rather amusing how near yet how far her husband was from her.

"They will be equally…beautiful next year." Sesshoumaru agreed. The feeling was surrealistic; he had not expected himself to survive long enough to see this spring. Yet here he was, sitting with his wife at the foot of one of the cherry blossom trees, admiring the sights. He was even feeling well enough to walk around the garden and feed the carps in the pond.

“Is that so...” She commented, her voice slightly wistful.

Then she coughs lightly, and he asks immediately as if fearful, "Are you alright?"

She smiled knowingly to herself, understanding his paranoia. Even after spending so much time together, Kagome still could not get used to the fact that Sesshoumaru did have his own insecurities like anyone else. “Yes, it's just a little chilly.”

"Put your hand out."

So she puts her left hand out around the trunk of the tree, and he holds her left hand with his right.

"Do you feel warmer now?" He asked, rubbing her clammy fingers with his own. "Remember to...bring an extra blanket out with you next year."

"Yes..." Kagome laughed almost inaudibly, noting how his hand was as chilly as hers.

But the laughter soon died as she coughed again, and the amused expression on her face was replaced by the tiniest hint of sorrow. Looking down at the embroidered handkerchief in her hand, Kagome noted the stark contrast of crimson blood against white cotton.

Now she understood the cawing of the crow. She had been under the impression that it was cawing because of Sesshoumaru, but now…

She could only hope that death could be cheated.

Folding the handkerchief up in a tiny square, just so he wouldn’t see, Kagome smiled and whispered lovingly, “I won't forget the blanket next year…remind me then, won't you?”

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The End.