The Last Note by Fish Wishes
The Note
Disclaimer: Still in effect.
AN: Written for Princess Skye's Weekly Challenge (16 Aug) Dreams and for my reviewers who requested a rewrite of The Last Note. I am happy to oblige.
Word Count: 2,298
—The Note—
Fog enveloped Tokyo. Amorphous shapes stood just outside a person's peripheral vision. Like a dream or a memory, undefined but haunting. Amidst this gloomy setting, a lone man sat on a bench. The sad green paint peeled and the wood groaned at the slightest movements. His jacket blended in with the park's unusually gray pallet. Although he had exotic beauty, his back looked so lonely. His broad shoulders holding on to some insurmountable weight. A secret pressed down on him, suffocating him. He needed to breathe, he needed to say-
"Sesshoumaru." The man looked up at a woman. How familiar was the kind shine in her blue eyes, the soft waves of her ebony hair, the topography of her body. He always observed her from a distance now. His name sounded so fresh coming from her mouth, like a brisk breeze awakening him and demanding his attention.
"Kagome." His face remained aloof. No one knew, including her. He moved over on the bench, silently offering a seat. She took it. The pregnant air spoke of a history between the couple. Brief, but passionate.
"Congratulations," was the only courteous thing Sesshoumaru could muster.
But Kagome took it anyways. "Thanks, you are coming aren't you?"
The man regarded her with a critical eye. "If only you would have me there," he replied.
"It would be nice…" her voice trailed off, the fog engulfed any echo.
They sat for a few moments longer. Tension built until neither could stand it. Kagome claimed she needed to stretch her legs. Sesshoumaru welcomed the distraction from the impending situation.
But Kagome could not keep quiet; her nerves were on edge and frayed. "The wedding will be in late April, early May, depending on how Inuyasha and my schedules work out. We wanted to have it earlier, but decided getting married during the fall and winter is a bad omen," She gestured at the barren, skeleton trees and dead grass. "That's what Ji-chan convinced us of at least!" She chuckled before continuing her haphazard ramble. Kagome talked about everything from the bride's maid, Sango, down to where she planned on getting her nails done to where she will hold her bachelorette's party. All the while Sesshoumaru listened.
He did not want to hear her plans with his half brother. He wanted her to be miserable, but denying Kagome her happiness would result in his grief as well. He thrived on the rays she gave off, like a flower reaching towards the sun.
"You know, I am really happy that you called to meet! I didn't think I was going to have a chance to talk to you before the wedding! I wanted to-"
"Kagome." The woman halted in her steps and turned to look behind her. Sesshoumaru and Kagome were not separated by much space, but an invisible crevice neither of them wanted to be there, gaped between them.
Kagome squeezed her clasped hands. She felt it coming. It had been palpable every since she arrived. His intent. His reason. His confession.
~
The clouds cleared by the time midnight struck. A bright moon illuminated the wet city and made everything glisten with silver. Kagome could not tear her eyes away. It entranced her. It allured her. Even when her fiancé shuffled beside her, her gaze did not waver.
It's like I am seeing him in everything. Kagome sighed. This afternoon proved to cause more trouble than she wished, but it had to happen. For her to marry Inuyasha required closure with Sesshoumaru. He struggled with this because once something was his, it stayed his!
Finally, today at the park, he admitted his attachment by saying IT! Never when they dated had he said "it". Not after making love, not after a peaceful day, or after apologizing from a fight. But he did it. He said the words so tenderly. He stripped himself raw for Kagome this afternoon. And she could barely stand it. Sesshoumaru is impenetrable. Strong. Confident. But for those seconds, he was not. It took all her pride to walk away without a word or a glace back. If she stayed, Kami only knows what she would have done! Rush into his arms. Run away to far corners. Bear sneers she would receive for leaving Inuyasha. Everything. She would have done everything for and with Sesshoumaru.
The hours weaned into the early dawn and Kagome still had not come to closure with herself. No matter how many times she tried to sleep or turn away, she was always attracted back to the dark, mysterious, silvery night.
~
Today was the big day.
After winter released Tokyo from its grasps, the happy couple rushed to arrange their wedding. Although in the Western fashion, no one complained. It was finally happening!
The bride stood in the center of a room, staring at her reflection. The woman Kagome saw shocked her. The woman's cheeks flushed with joy and a small smile tweaked at her glossed lips. Elegant wavy black hair hosted a crown of dried Baby's Breath. A simple white matted dress adorned her body and short heels. She liked how the woman looked. It was appropriate in her eyes. The gown, the flowers, would all be forgotten compared to her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, her gait.
Suddenly, other figures joined her and her dozens of reflections. "Sesshoumaru," Kagome gasped. She had been preparing herself when she would finally see him again, but it seems as if nothing could ever prepare her for this. He wore a black suit with a purple shirt and silver tie. They were her favorite colors on him and it was not by accident he put them on. He owned finer, more elegant cloths, yet he adorned her Christmas gift to him.
"Is Rin ready?" Kagome wavered on the platform, his presence weakened her already fragile resolution.
"Yes. Shippou as well." He replied casually.
Kagome flinched at the obvious jab. Stepping down from the pedestal Kagome joked, “I stay here any longer and I am going to be late for my own wedding!” The lame line did not lift the mood as she hoped.
Sesshoumaru did nothing to stop her from passing by him, but before she reached the door he spoke her name.
"Kagome."
So tender and soft. He was pleading her, begging her.
"Kagome." She could tell he had turned to face her back and she made the mistake of meeting his powerful gaze.
He took her breath away. Seeing him standing there. So lonely and empty. Kagome ached to take his head into her arms and soothe away all his troubles. To whisper private words. To say—
"Kagome!" called a voice. "We're read-Oh!" Sango stopped short and glanced between the two."We're ready."
"Ah, okay, I'll be right there." Kagome ripped her eyes away and looked at her friend. Silently pleading her to leave. Sango got the hint.
After the bride's maid departed, the air stirred; he was getting ready to speak again.
"No. Don't," she broke in, "Not again."
Sesshoumaru sighed.
"I'll see you in there?" Kagome had to make sure he would not leave.
A pause, "Yes."
She nodded and stumbled down the hallway, tears destroying her makeup.
~
The wedding was held in the shrine's court yard. Artificial decorations were unneeded. The sakura blossoms were full and their petals drifted in the breeze. The alter lay beneath the powerful arms of Go Shin Boku. Who needed cloth ribbons and plastic pieces when so much natural beauty lay at their disposal?
Kagome stood at the back with Ji-chan, who waited in a wheelchair to save energy. Her heart drummed inside its small cage when the musicians plucked their instruments. With her tears dried and mascara reapplied, the bride felt no confidence in what she was about to do. Sango and Souta moved down the white carpeted aisle. Shippou proudly held onto the rings as Rin tossed more flower petals about.
Through this period, Kagome could not stand still. She shuffled on her feet and twisted her fingers together.
"Get me out of this thing!" grumbled Ji-chan. His wizened face scrutinized her from his seat. "My granddaughter needs help down the aisle."
Clutching to his old body, Kagome made her first steps toward her future. Her chest swelled as the tone of the music changed and everyone turned around to greet her and her grandfather. She noticed the one head glaring forward. She could not meet Inuyasha's proud grin. Not while she was wishing for anothers.
The ceremony commenced with Miroku as the religious representative. Kagome did not listen to anything. Guilt tore away at her. She clutched her fiance's hands. They anchored her to reality, not her fanciful hopes.
Miroku moved so slow through the formalities"…In sickness, or in death?"
Inuyasha answered the obvious. Miroku repeated the words to the bride. She did not reply right away.
The small congregation hummed with anticipation. Taking a deep breath, Kagome's head snapped up and blurted out, “Yes!”
Miroku laughed, relieved, "Well then, kiss already!"
And the couple did. Friends and family clapped and cried and cheered and whooped. Their jovial noises grew louder when the rings were slipped onto the newlyweds fingers. Kagome finally looked out into the crowd, locking eyes with all the important people to her. But she was lost when looking for the most important of them all, a pair of golden suns.
~
Sesshoumaru exited the wedding before the exchange of vows, according to everyone else. He left without telling Rin or Jaken. Kagome hoped for something more dramatic, something to prove how far he was willing to go for her, but he would not be the Sesshoumaru she knows if he did.
Kagome did not see him fetch a sleeping Rin and an exhausted Jaken from the reception. Kagome did not see or hear from him for ages. Even Rin and Jaken, who often visited, spent little time with him. Kagome's remorse tore away at her and her marriage. Arguments between Inuyasha and her escalated. By the time the weather became cold and the ground frosted again, Kagome had enough. She needed to talk to someone else beside Miroku and Sango, neither of whom would understand her miserable marriage because they had such a wonderful one. No, she needed someone else.
After a couple pep talks and nervous pacing, Kagome failed to contact Sesshoumaru. She could not think of any words that would convince him of her regret.
~
The sky clouded up later in the day and a fierce storm settled over the city. Rain came first before it froze and became snow. Inuyasha called when it first began, claiming he had a friend to stay with. Kagome said some angry words about being inconsiderate before hanging up. She settled down in the living room. She rather sleep on the couch than think Inuyahsa was sharing a bed with someone else, leaving her alone.
She glanced over at the phone. Heaving a heavy sigh, she set out to do what she could not this morning. She bounced on her feet, to nervous to stay still. The phone continued to ring until an automated voice mail picked up. Kagome twirled the cord between her fingers while she waited for her turn to speak. The action reminder her how Sesshoumaru used to play with her hair.
Beep. The machine waited to record.
Kagome mouth dried and her eyes became wet. She broke down sobbing a second later.
It appeared as if words were not needed to say how sorry she was.
~
The storm left the world in an icy sheen, nothing lay untouched. Trains were delayed and many people decided to lay low until things got cleaned up. She received calls from her mother and friends all checking up, but none from Sesshoumaru.
~
Someone knocked around six. The roads were cleared and transit vehicles were back into their normal swing by then. Kagome figured it was Inuyasha coming home.
She yelled through the door, “What did you forget your key at your friend's house?”
No answer. This surprised her. Normally he be shouting right back and denying what she had said.
She reached for the knob and pulled the door open. “What have you been stunned into si— Sesshoumaru.“
And there he stood. Not in his normal vision of perfection though. His hair had an oily sheen. His clothing was rumpled. And a square bandage peeked out from under his ruffled bangs. She noticed the blood stains along the collar of his dress shirt and his lack of coat.
She began to usher him in, but he shoved a crumpled letter under her nose instead. Kagome glanced up. His face remained stoic. Sighing she took the envelope from him and ripped it open. She read the contents. She looked a Sesshoumaru. Their gaze held before he lower his eyes, submitting to her.
She reached up and slid her arms around his shoulders. The touch rekindled emotion they both tried to unsuccessfully suppress. An emotion that would never smother and die.
~
Sesshoumaru's injuries were minor from the car accident on the night of the blizzard. He stayed with Kagome when she told Inuyasha she wanted a divorce that day. She felt foolish to think by saying “it” to her made Sesshoumaru weak. It only made him stronger, she realized.
During the rough transition in the following months Kagome would often find herself asking if it was worth it all. Then she would pull out that worn letter and admire its beauty. His handwriting was not neat and loopy and elegant. It looked rushed and messy and crushed. But those two simple words were so full of feeling and they whisked away any doubt.
Love,
Sesshoumaru