To Kill a Dinosaur by 17th Floor

Part 1

A/N: Doing some edits. I realized that eventually I want to continue To Kill a Frog. So I needed to remove a few stories from the middle that were taking up story space.

Disclaimer: Don't own. At all.

Breezy's Week 3 Challenge.

Include: Sesshoumaru + dino suit, forklift, easy bake oven, prunes, the "robot" dance, and bungee jumping. 

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 Slamming my fist into the top of the easy bake oven, I cursed in the ancient tongue of my great and terrible inuyoukai father. 

"WOOF!"

My mate popped her head in from the kitchen, spying my dejected form on the hard room floor of the dining room. She had a bowl of prunes in her hand, her favorite snack during the pregnancy of our soon to be fifth son.  The smell of the dried fruits tickled my noise.   

"Sesshoumaru..." she hesitated.

"This easy bake oven will not assemble!" I ground out, brandishing the instructional manual in her direction.  Our third daughter, Kaede, had taken a definitive interest in the culinary arts and demanded the acquisition of an easy bake oven to further her education, as the 'play dough' kitchen would no longer suffice. I had thought it was a good idea at the time; the smell of the 'play dough' was atrocious, and when it dried out, it instigated a dreadful wailing by Kaede until more of the unnatural substance could be obtained. 

Popping a prune into her mouth, my mate chewed thoughtfully.   "You...woofed?"

Clenching the instructions in between my claws, I thought briefly about lying.  In all my nine-hundred and sixty seven years of existence, I had only lied four times. Three of those times were to my bitch of a mother, may she rest uneasily and dream of cats.  The other time was to my mate when she was pregnant with our first son. Both my mate and my mother had equally unpleasant reactions when the truth was revealed, but only Kagome's reaction had left scars to last another millennia. Inuyasha still brought up the 'time I had to do the robot dance.' 

Mustering up my dignity, I opened my mouth to reply, when she suddenly rushed towards me. "You dented it!" she exclaimed, thrusting the bowl of prunes in my direction.  Looking down at the plastics and metal, I could see that indeed I had.  Self-preservation kept me from smiling. 

"It is of no importance mate. I shall instruct Jaken to create a real oven made of the finest materials for Kaede and install-"

"You shall do no such thing," her arms folded across the bulge in her stomach.  "This is very important to your daughter...Or did you forget?" Immediately, I froze. There are several phrases that a male of any species never cares to hear. The first is widely known: 'Do I look fat in this?' The answer is always 'no,' be she dog, human, lizard, or onni, you must always say 'no'. Be sure not to hesitate in your reply. 'Did you forget?' is likewise never a question. It is a statement cleverly concealed as such.  I had forgotten something, and the only thing that would save me was how quickly I could recall it.

Hastily, I reviewed our conversations of the past several days. 

"I would never forget the birthday of Kaede." Again, self-preservation kept me from smiling.  Lovely Kagome advanced even further towards me, popping a prune into her mouth and chewing methodically. 

"Did you forget...something else?" Her voice was dangerously sweet.  What vital piece had I excluded?  Then like a Wind Scar, it hit me.

"Her birthday party is to be held...here...tomorrow," With a flash of sweet-smelling green light, I melted the instructions in my claws.  Kagome smirked and ate two prunes. Fifty little girls and their guardians would be descending upon my household in two days time. The easy bake oven was to be a showcase for Kaede to impress her peers.  My daughter had specifically requested its presence.  How had I forgotten, and how could I escape? Nine-hundred and sixty-seven years of existence and I had only ever retreated when Inuyasha deprived me of an arm, but I was more than willing in the face of fifty girls clad in pinks and purples.  Still smirking, she delivered the coup de grâce. 

"You promised."  She was a cunning, ruthless tactician.  Retreat was not an option once she reminded me my honor was at stake.

I nodded once. Kagome smiled with satisfaction, twirled around, and sauntered out of the room like a cat on the prowl. I was overcome with the urge to bite her in the ass, but refrained, knowing that it would not be received well outside of the silken privacy of our bedroom.  Looking down at the dented shell of the easy bake oven, I reached into my pant pocket and pulled out my cell phone. Dialing quickly, I waited for the call to be answered.

"Jaken...I have a task for you." 

Several hours later, I had in my possession one fully assembled deluxe easy bake oven, in pink. I always kept my promises.