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Weird, Weirder, Weirdest by tenchi no mai

"Girls Just Want To Have Lunch"

This was written in response to Hairann’s Weirdified Challenge.        

Theme:  Girls Just Want To Have Lunch 

Required Word Count:  Miniimum 500

Actual Word Count: 1,232 – Story Only

Universe:  Canon Universe 

Rating:  M for Language

Warnings:  Inuyasha’s Mouth 

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz Media.   Only the plot to this story is my intellectual property.  I do not make any money from the writing of this story.  I do not own, nor do I have any financial interest in any of the following:  “Weird” Al Yankovic, “Girls Just Want To Have Lunch”, Cindi Lauper, “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”.  

‘Italics’ = thoughts 

Girls Just Want To Have Lunch 

“In-u-ya-sha!”  Kagome screamed at the irrational hanyou.  “Sit, sit, sit, sit, SIT!”  Calmly walking off to the small clearing beside the road, she glanced over her shoulder to see the rest of the tachi following her.  Just another typical day in the Feudal Era. 

Their stomachs had been growling for quite a long time, yet Inuyasha couldn’t get it through his thick skull that they needed to stop to eat and drink something.  She had been breaking her last energy bar into small pieces and inconspicuously slipping them to Rin and Shippo for the last half hour.  Quickly starting a small cooking fire, they made their midday meal, albeit several hours late.  

She would be glad when Sesshoumaru returned, he, at least, understood the needs of the humans and put the welfare of the pack high on his list of priorities.  ‘Unlike someone else I know.’  Kagome narrowed her eyes as the dense hanyou climbed out of the hole in the ground and stomped in their direction.  

“Keh.  We can’t be stopping everytime you decide you want to have something to eat, bitch.  We have to find the last few jewel shards before Naraku does.”  Inuyasha glared at the lazy humans sitting around the fire eating ramen.  “You had better have saved me my share of the ramen.” 

Looking up at the sky, Miroku noted that the sun was now rapidly heading towards the west, and wondered how long Inuyasha would try to make them walk before finally allowing them to set up camp.  He chuckled under his breath.  ‘Correction, how far Kagome will tolerate Inuyasha pushing us before she decides enough is enough and we stop for the night.’  

The meal done, Miroku offered to piggy-back Rin while Kagome carried Shippo.  Sighing, he looked ahead at the unreasonable hanyou and wondered, probably for the thousandth time, when Inuyasha was going to wise up and start  treating Kagome like the treasure that she truly is. 



Inuyasha quickly scanned the restaurant, finally spotting Sesshoumaru sitting at a table by the window overlooking the gardens spread out below like an impressionist painting.  

“I’m with the Taisho party.”  He rudely jerked his thumb in Sesshoumaru’s direction.  With a shudder, he waved off the host, who reminded him of Jakotsu from the Shichininntai, then headed towards his half-brother.  He grabbed a chair and sat, impatiently waiting for Kagome to show up for their weekly lunch date.  

Kami, how he hated this place, even though it was currently one of her favorite restaurants.  It was too quiet, it looked like one of those decorating magazine that Kagome liked to read, the portions were too small, and worst of all, the staff fawned over Kagome, treating her like she was royalty or something.  He would rather eat at one of the local noodle houses or from the smorgasboard of food vendors on the street.  Looking petulantly around the restaurant again, and after picking at the damask tablecloth, he sneered.  “Keh.  Sesshoumaru, I can’t understand why the hell you put up with this stupid shit.  Can’t she pick someplace a little less… pretentious?” 

Sesshoumaru raised an elegant eyebrow at him.  “Have a drink Inuyasha.  My mate will be here shortly, we’ll have lunch, and then you’ll be free from this torture for another week.”  He picked up his martini glass, and smirked.  He had figured out quite some time ago exactly why Kagome enjoyed this particular restaurant so much, and anything that brought joy to his mate was just fine with him.  Especially since it also gave him a chance to torment the hanyou.  “Have you ever considered little brother that this, “stupid shit” as you just called it, is a quagmire of your own creation?  You should have realized a very long time ago exactly what Kagome wanted.” 

“Does she still go out to lunch with her girlfriends once a week?  I would be more than happy to pay for that, as long as I didn’t have to go with them.”  Inuyasha loosened his tie, then frowned when he saw one of the bus boys rush to the door to open it for Kagome.  

“Of course she does, it’s a standing date, just like this one.”  Sesshoumaru couldn’t resist getting in a barb at his half-brother, so he continued.  “If you were to do what you suggested, however, it would not be holding up your end of paying off your debt to Kagome.  As I’ve told you before, you shouldn’t bet if you’re unwilling to face the consequences of losing.”  He had a good internal laugh when he remembered how positive Inuyasha was that he would win the bet with Kagome, and the horror struck look on his face when he lost.  It took several weeks of regular thrashings to get it through to him that he would be treating both Kagome, as well as himself, to lunch once a week for an extremely long time, and at a restaurant of her choice.  

Sesshoumaru stood as Kagome was led to their table on the arm of the host.  His eyes narrowed slightly when he noticed him patting her hand as it lay on his arm.  After leaning down for a quick kiss, Sesshoumaru allowed the host to seat Kagome, wanting to roll his eyes as he watched him fuss with her chair until it was positioned perfectly.  

“Hi, Inuyasha, how are you this afternoon?”  Kagome grinned when she noticed his frown and all around grouchy demeanor.  She sighed as she sat back and looked around the room.  It was so elegant, strikingly decorated in shades of black, white and gray, with fresh flowers on the table and the beautiful garden view from the windows.  This was her absolute favorite restaurant, in fact Sesshoumaru had brought her here the night he asked her to be his mate.  

“Keh.  I’m fine.  Can we order lunch so I can get outta here?”  Inuyasha was tugging at his tie again, and had unbuttoned the collar on his shirt. 

“Inuyasha, I would have thought that by now you would have realized you are not getting out of this and learned to enjoy yourself, as well as possibly picked up some manners.”  Kagome snickered at him as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  As soon as she picked up her napkin, the waiter was there at her side to take it from her, shake it open, and place it in her lap. 

Inuyasha’s frown deepened as he watched Kagome smile up at the waiter, then order her usual lunch.  They had been doing this now for what – a year and a half?  He sighed deeply.  Only 5,122 more lunches to go.  

What a hideous bet to have lost, and she was so sneaky in her wording of it.  He was never ever going to bet against Kagome again, or if he did he would pay a lot more attention to the wager.  It will end up costing him one hundred years of taking them to lunch.  Twenty years of once weekly lunches for each year she had spent searching for the shards of the Shikon no Tama and ridding the world of Naraku.  He had thought she said two years, or he would have never taken the bet. 

He supposed it could be worse, though right now he wasn’t able to think of anything.  Until he caught sight of the tuxedo clad host giving him the once over again and winking at him. 





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