Just Enough by Caliente

Who's to blame?

  The idea came to me when I woke up, and I wondered how would it come from my mind if Inuyasha saw Kagome and Sesshomaru together. Don't worry I'll still work on my other little story, but I just had to post this now. :)

Disclaimer: Nope... not mine...

Warning: Not a happy ending. I know some get put off when they read a story without a happy ending. So I save you the trouble and let you know now.

It's not like it should have been a surprise. Perhaps if anything it would be expected. And then, if we could blame someone it would be Inuyasha's fault. He made all his choices on his own. Just because I was around to put the Shikon jewel together didn't hold the promise I'd be around forever.

For he promised to protect me.... He broke his promise and forced my hand.....

Yes, I could not stay now. As some would say, it's a matter of survival.

But that didn't excuse why I kissed his brother. Protection from Sesshomaru didn't mean I had to fall for him. Although, how could I not? The demon saw I was more! He hated Kikyo and cared for me. That was just enough to show he didn't compare or mistake the two of us. And that was just enough to beleive his affection for me.

I wonder if I felt guilty... Was this betrayal? I'm sure I never really loved Inuyasha... 15 in an unknown world, running into the first handsome man who promised to protect me, could you honestly tell me anyone else wouldn't have been the same? Maybe if I had more experiences with men before hand or something... but 15 was very young to have any experience. So it's was just enough...right?

Still... was it guilt? Was it guilt invading my heart when Inuyasha saw us?

I'm sure it wasn't.... I can't remember now... I never had much time to dwell on the feeling...

I definitely knew I had something strong for Sesshomaru, perhaps not love, but there were strong emotions swimming in my soul for the beautiful demon who had recently saved my life more than Inuyasha had. It was just enough to go foward with my feelings.

Saved my life.... how strange he couldn't save me this time...

How strange he couldn't protect me from the one thing we all thought would hurt me... hurt me if he knew...

And Inuyasha certainly knew...

Do I have any regrets? Maybe one.... maybe it was that... I never got to love him... love Sesshomaru the way I knew I could....

So now there I laid... broken bones...stripped flesh soaking in my own...cold...blood...

It seemed Inuyasha had been angrier than I had thought...

It was just enough to set him off.....

“If I can't have you, no one will...” He had whispered to me when he was done.... And then he stood there, watching me and then he laughed. He laughed when Sesshomaru came back early from his hunt... to see the last piece of life leave my soul.

We both knew it was over this time.... his sword already brought me back once.... now never again...

I'm sorry.... I'm sorry I couldn't love you yet... I'm sorry I couldn't show you how to feel... I'm sorry I can no longer be yours now....

Please don't look at me like that.... please don't suffer like this... I can wait for you... in death... but I hope it will be very long before we meet... I will watch over you.

And that will be just enough....