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Ue-jii by inali


AN:  Written for Mimiru's "wedgie" challenge.  Enjoy!  (574 words)

Disclaimer:  InuYasha and co. belong to Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan, Yomiuri, and Sunrise.  This fiction is in no way connected to any of these parties and no profit is being made. 


Knowledge was power...

... and no doubt, power was the ultimate of corrupting influences.

"InuYasha."  The young time travelling miko warned in grave trepidation, her mind's eye already playing out a very torturous scenario that ended with a very dead hanyou.  Her frown of consternation and forewarning, however went unheeded by said inu-hanyou. 

Truly, no good would come of this.  None.

"So, seriously, Sesshoumaru, you've never heard of a ue-jii before?"  The hanyou taunted undaunted, golden eyes flashing in smug challenge toward his older half-sibling.  Every fiber of his being visibly palpitating with pure, unadulterated ... well, smugness, over one-upping the daiyoukai in the knowledge department.  So what if it was a concept from the future and held no equivalent to his native era.  He knew something that pompous ass-hat didn't, and he was going to use it to his advantage.

"This Sesshoumaru has heard of no such thing."  Sesshoumaru replied flatly, his head canting to the left slightly the only indication of his curiosity.  It was enough.

"No way!  They are so awesome!  I  can't believe you never got one."  InuYasha crowed derisively, shaking his head with a huff as he bit back laughter.  "I could show you one if you want.  You'll totally want one once I do."  He goaded loftily with a sidelong glance at his half-brother.

"This Sesshoumaru highly doubts he's be interested in such a nonsensical trifle that would attract the interest of such lowly creatures."  The youkai lord dismissed, before rising to leave the hanyou to his odd novelties.  He had far greater things to do, like watch ink dry on rice paper.

"That's a shame, 'cause it'd totally be your kind of thing."  InuYasha replied unfazed, before leaping into action when he notice the daiyoukai was no longer paying him any attention.

With a quickness the rest of his pack did not know the hanyou to possess, InuYasha crossed the distance between himself and his elder.  Followed then by a show of great deftness of hand, the hanyou plunged his appendage down the back of Sesshoumaru's hakama, seizing his fundoshi and yanked his hand upward with equal parts ferocity and swiftness.

The daiyoukai's eyes widening to the size of saucers at the affront on his person was the only sign of reaction as he stood frozen in pained shock as the younger hanyou's audacity.  Said hanyou who was currently laughing loudly and full out at his expense, no less.

No one made a fool of that Sesshoumaru.

With a quickness to great for the eye to follow, the youkai lord spun, caught the hanyou up reached down the back of the curr's hakama, and ripped his fundoshi upward, only stopping after the back was over InuYasha's head and strangling said blight of his noble line around the throat.  Stepping back to eye his work, the daiyoukai decided that a fundoshi did indeed make an excellent, if not crudely improvised, garotte.

"And that would be an atomic wedgie."  Kagome sighed, feeling no pity whatsoever for her idiot friend and champion. 

She really needed to talk to Souta about what he can and cannot teach the hanyou in the future.  His ideas of "need to know information" was going to get her beloved inu-hanyou killed!


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