The Ugly Truth by MissTeak
Chapter 1
Standard disclaimers apply.
A/N: This was created just for fun – questions for Sesshoumaru and Kagome! Do enjoy! It was somewhat inspired by the movie “The Ugly Truth”, but most of the truths here are not too ugly anyway.
Go on, laugh your hearts out!
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“Welcome to my show, ‘The Ugly Truth’! I am your host, Miroku, and our guests for this week are no other than Taisho Sesshoumaru and his very lovely wife, Higurashi Kagome! Now, now, let’s welcome them onto the stage!”
(A round of thunderous applause, before a loud POP interrupted. Shippo had apparently got too carried away in his excitement and burst into his big, pink balloon form.)
“Oh! Now that’s one kid who should learn to hold his excitement in…wait a minute, is this show even suitable for children?” Miroku wondered out loud, eliciting another round of laughter. “Alright, with no further ado, let’s begin our Q&A session!”
*** The Ugly Truth ***
1. Miroku: “Let’s begin with self-introductions, shall we?”
Kagome: “Sure, I am Higurashi Kagome, and I am from Tokyo. Umm…I’m a miko, but unfortunately, not a very strong one. Well, anyway, I am glad to be here today. It’s really nice of you, Miroku, to invite us to appear on your show.” (turns and looks expectantly at Sesshoumaru)
Sesshoumaru: “…”
Kagome: (smiles embarrassedly at Miroku and audience before turning to her husband with a not-very-discreet whisper) “Darling, say something!”
Sesshoumaru: “Taisho Sesshoumaru. Demon.”
***
2.(After a good five seconds of awkward silence)
Miroku: “Age?”
Kagome: “Isn’t a woman’s age supposed to be a secret?”
Sesshoumaru: “This Sesshoumaru has lost count.”
Like what, five hundred??
***
3. Miroku: “So, how about describing your personalities to us?”
Kagome: “Bubbly, sweet, loud, fun-loving, energetic…”
Sesshoumaru: “…”
Miroku: “Sesshoumaru?”
Sesshoumaru: “This Sesshoumaru does not see the need in talking about his own personality.”
(…or the lack thereof, as Miroku silently thought.)
***
4. Miroku: “What do you feel about your partner’s personality?”
Sesshoumaru: “It is perfect.”
Kagome: “Awwww~ Sesshy-poo, I love you. I love everything about you too, though you are just a little too quiet at times.”
(Sweatdrops from audience)
Miroku: “…and we wonder why they say opposites attract.”
***
5. Miroku: “Where and when did you guys first meet each other?”
Sesshoumaru: “At my honorable Father’s grave. Back in the feudal era.”
Kagome: “You actually remembered!” *eyes sparkling*
Sesshoumaru: “There is no reason for this Sesshoumaru not to.”
Kagome: “That’s really, really sweet of you, darling.”
(Drown in each other’s gaze~)
***
6.Miroku: (coughing once, and then twice, before he finally caught their attention) “What was your first impression of each other?”
Kagome: “Arrogant, powerful, cold…”
Sesshoumaru: “Impossibly annoying.”
(Kagome shoots Sesshoumaru a wounded expression, while the latter immediately pats her on the head reassuringly)
Sesshoumaru: “That was all in the past.”
***
7. Miroku: “What do you like best about each other?”
Sesshoumaru: “Everything.”
Kagome: (smiles blissfully) “Me too.”
***
8. Miroku: “Now it wouldn’t be the Ugly Truth without…yeah, ugly truths. So what is it that you dislike most about each other?”
Kagome: (glares at Sesshoumaru) “Is there anything you dislike about me?”
(Suddenly, the dynamics of the relationship become a little dubious…)
Sesshoumaru: “There is nothing to dislike about this Sesshoumaru’s Kagome.”
Kagome: “Awww. That’s a good boy. You deserve a doggy treat when we get home.”
(Mouths hang impossibly wide among the audience)
***
9. Miroku: “How do you address each other?”
Sesshoumaru: “Kagome.”
Miroku: “That can’t be all! No saccharine-sweet nicknames like ‘honey’, ‘babycakes’ or whatsoever?”
Kagome: “Well, I have a lot for him! There’s nothing cuter than nicknames, you know. I call him Fluffums, Sesshy-poo, Lord Fluff, Ice King, Sweety Baby, Chibimaru and you know, we even have nicknames for his you-know-what! I call it Tokijin-”
Miroku: “Wait! Wait! As much as I’d love to know more, I believe someone should tend to the nosebleeds in the audience.”
***
10. Miroku: “So how would you like your partner to address you?”
Kagome: “My name would suffice. He is not too good with dramatic verbal declarations.” (…as if we do not already know that.)
Sesshoumaru: “As long as she is willing to address me, I am glad.”
(Awwwww~)
***
11. Miroku: “If you had to pick out a present for your partner, what would you choose and why ?”
Sesshoumaru: “The best this Sesshoumaru can afford. Kagome deserves nothing but the best.”
Kagome: “Me. Because that’s all he will ever want.”
Miroku: “That’s very…confident of you, dearest Kagome.”
Sesshoumaru: “Do you have a problem with that?”
Miroku: “No, no. Of course not.”
***
12. Miroku: “What is your partner’s greatest flaw?”
Kagome: “When we fight, he has the terrible habit of raising his demonic aura…”
Sesshoumaru: “That’s right before she raises her spiritual aura to try to send this Sesshoumaru to hell.”
Kagome: “You know I don’t mean it! It is purely instinctive! Who asked you to use your oh-so-invincible aura on me? You had it coming, Sesshoumaru-”
Miroku: “Okay, okay. Cultural difference is always a sensitive topic. Next!”
***
13. Miroku: “Name one habit of your partner that can get on your nerves at times.”
Kagome: “He demands belly rubs at least five times a day.”
Sesshoumaru: “When she thinks it is funny to switch from belly-rubbing to tickling.”
***
14. Miroku: “How far are you into your relationship?”
Sesshoumaru: “That is almost an intellectually-impaired question. We are married.”
Kagome: “…” (raises left hand with a sheepish, apologetic smile)
***
15. Miroku: “Where did you go on your first date?”
Kagome: “We went to Arashiyama in Kyoto.”
Sesshoumaru: “That was before we left for this Sesshoumaru’s home.”
***
16. Miroku: “How was the atmosphere then?”
Kagome: “Very romantic. I was a little nervous, though.”
***
17. Miroku: “How far did the relationship progress on the first date?”
Sesshoumaru: “…”
Kagome: (flushing like a tomato) “Can we skip this question?”
***
18. Miroku: “Come on, say something!”
(silenced by a glare from Sesshoumaru.)
Sesshoumaru: “No.”
(End of discussion, next!!)
***
19. Miroku: “Any usual haunts for your dates?”
Kagome: “Hmmm…not really. We went just about everywhere. You see, he can fly, so transport was not really a problem.”
***
20. Miroku: “Who was the one who made the first move?”
Sesshoumaru: “This Sesshoumaru asked Kagome out.”
Kagome: (nods blissfully)
Miroku: Now it is time for a commercial break! (ignores groans of disappointment from the audience) Stay tuned, don’t go away!
***The Ugly Truth***
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To be continued…
A/N: Please tell me how you feel about this, and if you want it continued! I just felt like doing this for fun…it was too cute to resist! I read something similar on a Chinese fandom for Bleach, and I thought it would be cute to do an English one for Sesshoumaru and Kagome.