Shhhh by Kogasangel

Prologue: The Beautiful Liar

A/N:  This is my first chapter story in a very long time.  I'm feeling quite dramatic and think that this is the perfect way to get back into the groove.  So, please read and review. 

Disclaimer:  I don't own IY or company.  I wish I did, but the fact that I don't is something that I have to accept.  My therapist says that I am making progress.

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Kagome stared at the night’s sky and wondered if he knew just how much he was hurting her.  Did Inu Yasha know that when he followed Kikyo’s soul collectors, he ripped out a small piece of her heart?  Did he care?  It would be so simple to sit him each time he tried to leave the group, but what good would it do in the end?  The only thing that would serve is to strengthen his belief that she wasn’t as good as Kikyo and that Kikyo would never have stopped him from following his heart.

She wished she was as selfless as everyone thought that she was.  She wasn’t the saint that people believed, nor was she as kind as people would have liked to think.  No, she was human and was prone to the same bouts of jealousy, anger, and selfishness that everyone felt.  She simply managed to hide it better. 

It broke her to see that everyone around her seemed to have found their other half.  Even though he was still a kit, Shippo had managed to snag the attentions of a young village girl and it was clear that her parents liked Shippo.  Sango and Miroku had finally stopped denying what they felt and had married the last time they had been back to Kaede’s village.  Inu Yasha announced that once Naraku was dead, he would be taking Kikyo as his mate, despite the fact that she was no longer living.  That had been the final straw that broke the Kagome’s back.  She knew right then that she had lost the war for his affections, but it also then occurred to her that she was never in the running.

So, she sat and watched as those she cared for dove head-first into the heady feeling of love as she sat on the outskirts of their reality, silently watching and praying that one day, she would also feel this way about someone else.  Perhaps her pride was a bit injured; however, just because her pride was damaged, her brain was not.  Logically, she knew that she should concentrate of reclaiming the jewel so that she could return home and find someone who would best suit her, but there was a tiny part of her that longed to feel the arms of a lover around her, caressing her, whispering words meant to sooth her, and yet, she knew that it would never happen. 

Her friends could only try and comfort her for so long and she knew that their words were nothing more than written on water, meaning that while the words were there, there was no substance to back them up.  She supposed that had she given Kouga more attention, he would still be around; however, Ayame finally cornered him and beat him within an inch of his life before he realized that Ayame was the one for him.  She couldn’t find it within herself to be bitter, but she also could not find it within herself to be thrilled for the couple, either.

It seemed that her heart was growing colder as the days crawled by and she wondered if it would ever thaw.  While her distress had been successfully hidden from her group, she knew that it would only be a matter of time before her dissatisfaction would become apparent and she would have to finally either admit her feelings or allow herself to continue the lie.

It would appear that she would have to continue to be self-sacrificing for a while longer.  After all, she could not allow herself to bring such misery to those whom she cared for.  Instead, she would bury her feelings and hope that they would grow silent as the hunt for Naraku continued.  If she kept her mind off of her sorrow, then she could pretend that everything was fine and that she was perfectly happy.  She could keep up the pretense that her mind was clear and that she had no worries. 

She was such a beautiful liar.