Living With Loss by Pendragon
Now the Fall
Written for Skye's Seven Deadly Sins Challenge
Prompt: Pride
Now the Fall
"Love is all we have; the only way that each can help the other."
Euripides
Kagome had been unable to fall asleep after the she’d woken from her tormenting dreams. Lying in bed for hours, she let her heart relive every painful moment she’d experienced within the last year. She let her heart weep and scab over. Just another makeshift patch to a broken soul.
Through shear willpower, she’d crawled out of bed, determined to find the bands she’s tossed away in the night. Before getting down on hands and knees, she opened the window drapes, shedding piecing morning light into the dark bedroom.
Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the room and scanned the carpet for the jewelry. After a minute or so, she found them, two bands lying on the floor with the engagement ring itself snagged between a mounted picture frame and the wall where it hit. Sliding it out she eyed the old photograph.
It was of her, Sango, and Inuyasha. Sango was laughing as Kagome jumped onto Inuyasha’s back with a yell. Sesshomaru had taken the picture with perfect timing. The shocked expression on Inuyasha’s face was priceless. Kagome smiled halfheartedly at the memory. She stood for a moment longer, gazing at the frame, taking in Inuyasha’s onyx-black hair, recalling an old trick Sesshomaru had taught her.
Taking a breath she focused hard on the frame, pealing back the disguise Inuyasha had had placed over himself to deter any unfriendly or otherwise more powerful yokai. As she pealed the layer back she watched as Inuyasha hair changed to an ivory white, almost the exact shade as Sesshomaru’s. She smiled at little more truly as she took in the little dog ears sprouting out from his head. God, how she missed him.
Sliding the rings back on her finger she began the trek out of the room and down the hall. She didn’t feel like eating, but knew she had to. Starving herself would never help.
She lowered a bowel from the cabinets, milk from the fridge, and her favorite over-sugared breakfast cereal from the pantry. Just as she sat down to eat, a knock came at the door.
For the love of… Breaking away from the comfort of her island stool, she went to answer.
“Sango?” Kagome asked once she had opened the door. “Why are you here? It’s so early.”
“In a minute, can I come in?”
“Umm, sure,” answered Kagome as Sango brushed past her and into the apartment.
Once the two had settled into the kitchen, Kagome watched Sango until she spoke. “I came over because I was worried, okay Kagome?” The girl just stared at her over her bowel. “I wanted to think of a better excuse than that, but I couldn’t. I was up all night, tossing in bed, worried sick about you.
“Ever since that night with the video two weeks ago you’ve been acting just like right after the,” Sango caught her words, unable bring herself to say murder. “You’re not talking to me anymore, Kagome. We used to talk everyday. Maybe I’m overreacting, but-”
“You’re overreacting,” Kagome chimed in. “I’m fine. I’m great. I’m eating. Happy?” Her eye’s darkened and her jaw clenched.
“Kagome, you’ve got bags under your eyes. Which are bloodshot.”
Now Kagome was glaring. “I said I’m fine.”
"No, you’re not. What is going on?”
“Nothing is going on. I said I’m okay!” Kagome let her spoon drop into the bowel, splashing milk out all across the island.
“Why are you yelling at me? I just want to help.”
“I don’t need any help!” Kagome felt the scab start to tear.
“Kagome, please…”
Kagome jumped down from her stool. “What do you want from me, Sango!? I’m hurt, okay? I’m angry, I’m sad, and I’m sick of people helping me.” She spat out the words.
“Stop yelling at me! You don’t have to act like this!”
Kagome slammed her fist down on the counter. “Who are you to say how I have to act? Don’t order me around!”
“I’m not, I’m trying to get you to calm down, Kagome. Please, just stop.”
“Get out! Just get out!” Kagome screamed, kicking her stool over.
Sango took a step back. “Kagome, think about what you’re doing. Don’t be like this. We can find someone who can he-”
“I said I don’t want help! Now go!” Kagome screamed louder now, picking up bowel and throwing it as hard at she could at the wall. Milk and shards of ceramic ran down the walls. Most of the cereal stuck where it landed.
“Kagome, look at what you’re doing! I’m not trying to upset you. Please, you have to stop.”
Kagome gave a twisted smile. “There you go again, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do.” She let her breath out in huff. “I swear I just said something about that.”
She shook her spoon at Sango, her eyes wide and crazed.
Sango took another step back. “You’re not acting right, Kagome. This isn’t you. Don’t do this.”
“You did it again!” Kagome laughed. It was a perverted thing, distorted and manic. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Sango took another step back when Kagome began to walk toward her, leaving her in the hallway that led to the door. “Kagome, you’re being hysterical. You need help.”
“I don’t need help! I don’t need help!” Kagome cried out, banging her fists against the wall. The hand holding the spoon left punctured holes. “I don’t need help. I don’t need help.” Her blows slowed and she knees buckled, sending her to the floor. She hit at it with weary fists, shaking against the hardwood.
Sango warily walked toward Kagome. After a minute she sat and helped to pull her friend upright. “I don’t need help,” Kagome repeated over again, clutching at Sango’s shirt and shedding tears she didn’t know she had left. “I don’t need help…”
“Shh, be quite. It’s okay,” Sango cooed, running her hand through Kagome’s hair. “It’s okay.” She held Kagome tightly to her and trying to comfort her in any way she could.
Kagome’s shakings got worse as her tears began to stop up. Her breath came in rapid jerks. “I-I-I’m s-so-rry, Sa-san-”
“Shh, I said it’s okay.”
“May-maybe I-I do ne-ed hel-help.”
“We’ll talk about it later, Kagome. Just be still, okay. Everything’s gonna be alright. Everything will be okay."