Unable to Commit by Inumaru_Rapture

Changes

Kagome stared at Inuyasha, her mouth hanging open slightly in disbelief. He was staring her in the eyes, his lips formed into a hard line, a determined glint in his eyes. She had never seen him look so sure about anything in her life. Her heart clenched.

“Inu...” She whispered, suddenly regaining her functions to make sound and move. Amazingly, her eyes remained dry though the ache in her threatened to spill out and consumer her entirely. His eyes hardened.

“No, Kagome, listen,” he insisted. “I just don't think we're ready to get married.”

“Not ready,” she echoed, part of her rearing up as anger and frustration grew within her.

“We don't have the means. I don't have a good job. I want to be able to support you.”

“You know I don't care about that!” Kagome insisted. “I've never cared about that. All I've ever wanted was you! Who cares about money?”

“I do. And you do too, you can't lie.”

“Who's lying?” She snarled. “What, am I not good enough? We've been together for over 6 years, Inuyasha. Six years! We've lived together for the last three! What else changes when we get married?”

“That's what I mean. I'd be a husband, not just a boyfriend. There's so much more that's expected of me.”

“Who expects anything other than what You already give?” She insisted, her eyes tearing despite everything she tried to suppress them with. “I'd be your wife. You wouldn't have to worry about what anyone thought.”

“You don't understand, Kagome.”

“No, you're right,” she stated, standing up. He watched her with suddenly fearful eyes. “I don't understand how I can give you the best of myself, yet you are still unwilling to give the best of yourself to me. If you are unwilling, or unable, whatever, to commit to me, after 6 years, how many years more do you need? Another six? Ten? How old do you want your wife when you finally get married?”

“Kagome,” he stared.

“No, it's time for you to listen, you stubborn jerk,” she was pacing their bedroom now. Her angry breaths shaking her thick body. She knew she wasn't the thinnest or the best looking of women, but he had always made her feel beautiful. Sometimes, she thought she would be incapable of finding another man who made her feel as such, therefore, through the times they had hardships, she would stay just for that reason. Whether or not she was happy. She couldn't think of the last time she had been happy.

“I'm 25 years old,” she growled, “I'm the only one of my friends left without a husband and baby. It looks so weird for me to introduce you as my boyfriend when people know we've been together longer than some of my other friends who are married. I'm not,” she said, throwing up her hand to stop him from interrupting, “saying we need to measure our relationship on these people. I've never wanted to measure anything we have between us against what other people have. It's not the same, and it never will compare. However, if you could the years we were unofficially together, Inuyasha, we've been together and friends for almost 10 years. I'm wearing thin from waiting. Even if you were to ask, Inu, I couldn't say yes without making it just one other thing to do. There would be no excitement from it, no justifiable satisfaction other than the monotonous waiting for you to get up the balls to ask me to be your wife!”

“Kagome..”

“No, Inuyasha. I'm done. I can't keep waiting for you. If you decide I am worth your time, make good on it. But until then, I don't really want to see you.”

“You want to end what we have? To be over and done?” His voice was angry as he stood grabbing her arms. He forced her to look at him and went numb at the hurt and lost look in her eyes.

“I can't do this anymore. If you're unable to commit to me in every way, I can't keep hurting for you.”

With that, the long-term relationship between Kagome and Inuyasha was over.

-**-

Kagome moved out of their apartment over the next week, moving back in with her mother until she could find a new apartment close to work. Inuyasha, still trying to figure out how best to explain things to her, moved in with his half-brother until he could get a job and get back on his feet. His half-brother, Sesshoumaru, listened to the reasons and, for the first time in their entire existence as half-siblings, did not rally his sibling's anger or self-loathing. He just stated that Inuyasha could stay at his penthouse for up to a year before he would be tossed out.

Inuyasha had tried to contact Kagome everyday within the first month, only to meet her voicemail and to never receive a call back. Soon, he stopped trying and started to create a life for himself. His half-brother watched in silence, waiting.

Two years passed, and Sesshoumaru found himself moving down the aisle of a local grocery store picking up a few things for dinner. He was going to be having his half-brother and his fiancée over for dinner. He wanted it to be a delightful meal, despite the circumstances. He stopped in front of the noodles, trying to decide which would be best with the sukiyaki he was making.

“Sesshoumaru?” A soft feminine voice asked from off to one side. He glanced and saw a slender yet slightly muscular woman in a gray tank-top and navy slacks. Her black hair was shaved close to her skull and she had a powerful, confident look to her.

“Can I help you?” He asked, looking at her. Something about her was familiar. The woman smiled.

“I can kind of see why you wouldn't recognize me. I've lost a lot of weight, and I don't have hair anymore.” She chuckled in a way that had realization shining through his eyes.

“Kagome?” He asked, barely able to keep the surprise from his voice. He stared at her, amazed at the change.

“Yea, hey. How are you?” She smiled in a relaxed sort of way.

“Fine,” he replied. “Yourself? You look...well.”

“I am.” She changed hands, causing him to glance into her basket. Healthy, organic foods. Definitely Kagome. “I wanted to cook something special for the promotion I got today,” she said, indicating at her basket. She was excited, he could tell, but she had a calm and collected demeaner that he couldn't help assess.

“Oh?” He asked. “Do you still work at that middle school?” He asked. She smiled widely.

“No. I quit and went into a new field.”

“Which one?”

“I'm a Police Officer now,” she replied, flipping open the black badge on her belt. He hadn't even noticed it before. He stared at her.

“That does not suit you,” he replied. She grinned.

“I know.”

“Then why?”

“Because I figured I ought to do something new to make myself over.”

“By becoming someone different because Inuyasha could not commit to you as you were?” He expected any kind of negative or angry reaction other than the laughter that came from her.

“I suppose so. I enjoy who I am now. I feel better, more secure with being on my own.”

“Hn.”

“Hey, I've gotta go. Do you want to meet up for lunch one of these days and catch up?” Sesshoumaru contemplated for a moment before nodding.

“Indeed,” he replied after a moment. She dug in her pocket for a moment and pulled out a card.

“I'll leave that up to you, then,” she said, handing him her card. “I'll be seeing you.” He stared after her as she went off into the crowds, and then looked down at the card she had given him.

“Higrashi Kagome, TPD. Supervisor of Student Welfare.” Along with her email, office number, and cell number.

“Hn..”