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Not Big by SunsetMiko

Not Big

I do not own Inuyasha and Company, no matter how happy it would make me. Rumiko Takahashi does. I make no money from these fics.

Title: Not Big

Prompt: Any Song by Lily Allen

Song: Not Big by Lily Allen

Word Count: 5713 (including lyrics)

Pairing: past Inu/Kag, some Kouga/Kag, Sess/Kag

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Smut

Rating: M for smut, though limited

Warning: Poor, poor, poor Inu.

Kagome glanced around the room before returning her gaze to Inuyasha. She would kill him for this. It wasn’t the fact that he was breaking up with her that got to her. No, it was the fact that he was doing it in the middle of the main room of his frat house in front of all his friends!

“I know we’ve been together for a long time now,” he said slowly as if he expected her to burst into tears. “It’s just not working for me anymore, Babe. You’re a great chick and all, but I gotta move on.” Inuyasha studied her face closely, wondering if he’d broken her completely. She didn’t seem to be reacting at all. “Kagome?”

Now listen, I think you and me have come to the end of our time,
What do you want some kind of reaction?
Well, OK, that's fine.

“What exactly would you like me to say, Inuyasha? Do you want me to cry? To beg you not to leave me, say I can’t live without you?” She let out a dark laugh that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. “It’s not going to happen, you lying, cheating bastard.”

The hanyou made a noise to interject, suddenly sensing the serious danger he’d put himself in trying to look like a big man for the boys, but she cut him off.

“I can live just fine without you. I should have left you more than a year ago!”

“You’re full of shit,” he scoffed arrogantly. “You love me and you know it. And you’re really gonna miss this,” Inuyasha said with a grope of his crotch.

“Ha! Miss that?” She glanced around again, seeing that everyone in the room was listening intently. “In the year and a half I’ve wasted with you, you never made me cum once. Why would I miss that little cock of yours when I’m finally free to upgrade?”


Alright, how would it make you feel if I said you never made me cum?
In the year and a half that we spent together,
Yeah, I never really had much fun.

The laughter surrounding him made Inuyasha’s face turn red with a blend of anger and embarrassment and he rose, ready to stomp out of the room. He turned to throw back one last jab, hoping it would hit home. “Yeah? Well Kikyo certainly likes it, Bitch, and she’s better in the sack than you ever were.”

I could see it in your face as you break it to me gentle,
Yeah, you really must think you're great,
Let's see how you feel in a couple of weeks,
When I work my way through your mates.


“You’re welcome to her, the whore. Just you wait, Inuyasha. You’re going to regret this, I promise.”

The hanyou let out a ‘Keh!’ and left the room, slamming the front door behind him and leaving Kagome surrounded by his frat brothers, all very interested in the entertaining show the two had just given.


He wanted to smack the whelp. The girl was a goddess, the hanyou undeserving of a second of her attention, let alone the year and a half she’d given. And to dump her the way he had, in front of everyone, it was despicable. The half-breed had been raised better than that, taught to respect a woman. He would be happy to remind Inuyasha of that lesson, but he was certain that Kagome’s would be better than he could ever come up with. The devious look in her eyes said it all.


Miroku couldn’t believe his so-called best friend. Sure, he was a womanizer, but he would never do what Inuyasha had just done to Kagome. He decided to take pity on the poor, embarrassed female who also happened to be a good friend of his.

“Kagome? You were the best thing that ever happened to him.” He smirked at her and waggled his eyebrows in what he assumed was a seductive manner. “You wanna happen to me next?”

Kagome was silent for a moment, making Miroku regret his words, until she burst out laughing. “Not at the moment, no, you pervert, but you could give me a hand. I’m gonna get my stuff out of his room while he’s gone. If I have to hear his mouth for another second today I might just kill him.”

“Anything for the lady,” he said with a teasing grin, leading her upstairs, happy to help her.


Once Kagome was out of earshot, the murmur of conversation began, each male agreeing that Inuyasha’s behavior was abominable as well as wishing to lay claim to the now available Kagome. She was the best looking girl to set foot in the house in as long as they could remember. To top that off, she also wasn’t an annoying little twit, but actually fun to spend time with. She was the perfect girlfriend and the hanyou had just tossed her away like trash. Any one of them would be happy to be the one to pick her up.


“You know, I never understood why you were going out with him to begin with,” Miroku said as he helped Kagome sort through Inuyasha’s belongings in search of her own. “He never did treat you right.”

Kagome sighed. “You couldn’t have said something before now?” she joked. “I don’t know what I was thinking really. We’d just been together for so long that it seemed the right thing to do to stay with him, ya know?”

“Sango will be relieved.”

“No, Sango will want to skin him alive when she finds out how he had the nerve to dump me. I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.”

“What happened downstairs did not make you look bad, I can assure you. It made him look bad. Now, how about a movie to get your mind off things?”

Kagome smiled. “Whatcha got in mind?”


I never wanted it to end up this way,
You've only got yourself to blame,
I'm gonna tell the world you're rubbish in bed now
And that you're small in the game.




Just as Inuyasha stumbled up the stairs toward his room the next morning, Miroku’s door opened and a smiling Kagome stepped out. The hanyou froze in his tracks, watching as she hummed on her way to the bathroom, noticing her marked lack of apparel. She was wearing nothing but one of Miroku’s t-shirts!

He would kill him! Miroku was supposed to be his best friend. How could he fuck his girlfriend?! Wait, no, his ex-girlfriend. Why did he care again?

Inuyasha had yet to reconcile his thoughts when Kagome emerged, still smiling. This time she noticed his presence and laughed. “Problem, Inuyasha? You look like you had a rough night. Me, I had a delightful evening. Miroku is so much fun, don’t you think so?”

“Hey, it’s getting lonely in here without you, ‘Gome!” Miroku called from inside his room and Kagome smirked.

“I’m coming!”

“Damn right you are, and I’ll never get tired of hearing you yell that,” he said, holding back a chuckle, knowing exactly where Inuyasha’s mind would go as Kagome walked back into his room, closing the door in the hanyou’s face.

Inuyasha blinked and then blinked again. “Damn it!”


It was strange, adjusting to being single. It was even stranger how every guy she ran into seemed to treat her differently. Sure, they’d always been nice to her, but now it was obvious that they were flirting. Guys she’d known for years had suddenly begun to show an interest in something more, guys she’d always thought of as friends. Kagome had never felt so attractive in all her life. She should have dumped Inuyasha ages ago!


“Kagome! Kagome!”

The sound of someone calling her name made the little miko turn around, smiling as she recognized the male jogging towards her. “Yeah, Kouga?”

“Hey,” he said suavely as he came to a stop in front of her. “I… I was wondering if you’re doing anything… tonight, I mean.”

Kagome grinned. “Nope, not doing a thing. Why?”

“You wanna grab a bite? There’s gonna be a band at the café tonight and I heard they don’t suck.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Sure, it sounds like fun.”

“Pick you up in an hour?”

“See you then,” she answered with a smile, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before turning and heading back to her apartment.

Kouga just stood there, dazed, for a moment before he touched his fingertips to where her lips had been. The spot still tingled slightly and the wolf turned quickly, letting out a whoop of excitement a little louder than he’d intended, Kagome’s soft laugher reaching his delicate ears as a blush reached his cheeks. He fought off the embarrassment and set out on his way back to the house. He needed to change for his date.


I never wanted it to end up this way,
You've only got yourself to blame,
I'm gonna tell the world you're rubbish in bed now
And that you're small in the game.



“Shit,” Inuyasha hissed under his breath. “I’ll kill him.”

“What’s the matter, Inu, baby?” Kikyo asked curiously. Her eyes darkened as she noticed where her boyfriend’s gaze was focused. The bitch just had to ruin her date, didn’t she?!

Inuyasha watched intently as Kouga led Kagome by the hand to a table near the window, pulling out her chair and everything. Fucking Miroku wasn’t enough? Now she had to go out with his arch rival?

I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being kinda mental,
But you left me in such a state.
But now I'm gonna do what you did to me,
Gonna reciprocate.


He couldn’t drag his eyes away as the waitress took their order before leaving the couple alone. He watched as Kagome giggled sweetly as the idiot wolf told a joke, snarling and completely ignoring Kikyo’s protests and bids for attention. This was more important. This was serious. Kagome couldn’t go out with Kouga! She just couldn’t!


Their meal had been enjoyable, despite the feel of Inuyasha’s eyes burning into them the whole time. They had both successfully ignored him, watching the band play and even dancing a little. Now they were taking a moonlit walk around campus, making their way back towards the frat house, though Kagome wasn’t really paying attention.

“So, were you serious before? Did he really never make you cum?” Kouga asked; smirking as her cheeks flushed an adorable pink.

“Not once,” she replied, staring intently at the ground before her feet.

The wolf slowed her to a stop through their interconnected hands, turning her to look at him. “That’s too bad. It’s not right, him getting off and leaving you hanging.” He stared deep into her eyes as he spoke. “I would never do that to you, Kagome. Never.”

Her lips turned up in a smile as he leaned closer and her eyes fell closed as their lips met in a slow, tender kiss. She felt her stomach flutter as one of his hands slipped into her hair while the other slid around the curve of her hip to cup her ass. Inuyasha had never kissed her like this and she was certain she would just float away if he let go of her. Thankfully he had no intention of doing so.

When they pulled apart to breathe, Kouga waited until her eyes opened before he spoke. “I’d be happy to prove it.”

Kagome laughed and started walking again, giving his hand a tug.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“You are, Kouga.”

“I’m not kidding, Kagome. Give me the chance and I’ll make you cum harder than you thought possible, over and over again. I promise.”

Kagome lifted a brow at him and gave his hand another tug. “Not here, you’re not. Take me back to your room and I’ll think about it.”


I never wanted it to end up this way,
You've only got yourself to blame,
I'm gonna tell the world you're rubbish in bed now
And that you're small in the game.



Sesshoumaru frowned from where he sat on the couch in front of the big screen television. Kagome had gone on a date with Kouga, which was absolutely fine, but apparently the date had gone well, something he had not anticipated. The two walked past him without a word on their way up the stairs to the wolf’s room and the taiyoukai had to clench his teeth to keep from growling.

He wanted her, had always wanted her, but she’d belonged to the fool of a hanyou. Now, though, she was available, or at least she had been. He would just kick himself if he missed his chance, if she started a serious relationship with Kouga because he asked her out first.

A thought struck him then. Kagome had been in a relationship with the half-breed for a long time. She needed a break, needed to have a little fun, rebound perhaps. The last thing he wanted was to be her rebound. He wanted her for more than just a little while. If that meant he had to let her date others for a while before he made his move, he could handle that, just so long as they treated her right. She deserved that at the very least.


As soon as the door closed behind them, their lips met again, his hands gently searching their way over her body, leaving her panting as she clung to him. Kouga could see the nervousness in her eyes as he reached for the bottom hem of her shirt and stopped, tilting her chin so she would look him in the eye.

“Tonight is just about you, only you. Do you trust me, Kagome?” He smiled when she nodded. “Then relax. If you want me to stop, I will. I promise.” She nodded again and allowed him to pull her shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor. “God, you’re beautiful, Kagome, absolutely beautiful. And you’re adorable when you blush,” he added before kissing her again.

Her mind was swirling as his hot lips covered her throat and collar bone with kisses, his hands caressing her back and abdomen. She tensed momentarily as she felt his fingers working at the clasp of her bra but, remembering his words, relaxed and allowed him to remove the restraining bit of fabric from her body.

The feel of his tongue swirling around her nipple made her knees go weak and Kouga swept her up in his strong arms, setting her carefully on his bed. Never had Inuyasha spent this much time or any amount really, touching her, worshipping her body. He’d always been eager to get her pants off, but the wolf kept his word and took his time.

She felt like a pool of melted butter by the time he reached the waist of her jeans and the way he looked up at her for permission erased any worries that might have remained. She let him divest her of her pants, amused slightly as he had to pause to slip off her shoes. Lying before him in just her panties was much more comfortable than she could have ever imagined, and again he surprised her as he removed her socks and kissed her feet, working his way up her legs slowly, teasingly.

When he finally reached her clothed core, he gazed up at her heatedly and licked his lips. “So tell me, did he ever touch you like this?” he asked, trailing the tip of one clawed finger along her covered folds, making her moan softly and shake her head, too dazed to speak.

Kagome watched as he shifted between her legs, moving to one side before dragging her panties down painfully slowly. He looked like a predator as he crept back towards her, lying on his chest with her thighs spread wide on either side of his shoulders. His finger traced her folds again and her body arched into his touch.

“How about like this?” he almost purred as he bent one finger, allowing his knuckle to dip into her wetness before circling her clit. When she shook her head again he shook his. “No, Kagome, I want to hear you. Did he ever touch you like this?” he asked, repeating the movement with more pressure.

“Gods, no, never!” she gasped out. Inuyasha had definitely never touched her like that before. Her entire body was on fire from just the tiniest of touches and she was almost afraid to see what he could make her feel with more.


Inuyasha stood across the hall from Kouga’s door, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. He couldn’t believe her! What in the world was Kagome thinking, going back to the wolf’s room?! A muffled sound from the other side of the door had him suddenly confused. He’d never heard Kagome make that sound before. Just what in the hell was she letting the wolf do to her in there?

He was just about to break the door down and find out when Sesshoumaru appeared at the top of the stairs. “I think not, little brother. What she does now is no concern of yours.”

The hanyou growled but gave in, stomping into his room and slamming the door. A moment later it became obvious that no matter where he was he would be able to hear her, as Kagome cried out in pleasure, real, honest pleasure, something he’d never heard from her. Only then did he truly understand and believe her words. She’d always faked it with him, for his ego.

His ego thoroughly deflated, Inuyasha flopped on his bed and pulled a pillow over his head. This would be a long night.


I never wanted it to end up this way,
You've only got yourself to blame,
I'm gonna tell the world you're rubbish in bed now
And that you're small in the game.



It was nearly dawn when Inuyasha finally found it safe to sit up and risk a trip to the bathroom. He’d never had an intimate encounter last anywhere near that long and was amazed by the wolf’s stamina. The hanyou had only just stepped out of his room when Kouga’s door opened and Kagome exited, followed by the wolf who noticed him immediately.

Kouga licked him lips exaggeratedly and smirked. “She’s absolutely delicious, Mutt. I don’t know how you let such a sweet one go, you idiot.”

Kagome cheeks burned a brilliant red and she turned and smacked Kouga’s chest. “Shut up,” she hissed through clenched teeth.

“What’s the matter, Babe? He already knows. He’s been listening to you for hours.”

“God, you’re as big of a bastard as he is,” she muttered before walking past him and down the stairs.

“You fucked up big time,” Inuyasha said with a snicker.

“Not as big as you, buddy. Nowhere near it.”

On the other side of the wall, sitting near the head of his bed, Sesshoumaru smirked. He knew the wolf would screw it up. Kagome would still be his.


“No, I’m not setting foot in that house again. I don’t care if you’re having a party,” Kagome growled into the phone.

“Oh, come on. No one cares that Inuyasha dumped you. No one but him thinks you slept with Miroku.” There was a pause, as if considering his words, before Naraku continued. “And we all enjoyed listening to you with Kouga.”

“Oh, shut up!” she said before giving up her anger and breaking down in laughter. “Fine, fine, what kind of party?”

“The best kind, of course,” he said deviously.

“Well that’s good to know, but if you’re not sharing I’m not coming.”

“You can be such a pain sometimes, you know that, girlie? Toga, okay? Toga party.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re really having a toga party at a frat house?”

“What’s wrong with that?” he asked in a pouty tone.

“Umm, cliché maybe? Whatever, it’ll be fun to see all the guys in togas made out of bed sheets.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” he started. “I’m gonna need you to help me figure out how to tie the damn thing.”

Kagome laughed. “Of course you will.”


Kagome giggled at the sight before her. “I thought you said you would need help, not that everyone would need help.” The sight of fifteen mostly naked men standing around waiting their turn was rather amusing and the little miko wished she’d brought her camera.

“Well, when I said I was waiting for your help it just happened,” Naraku said with a smirk as he held out his sheet.

Just as she was leaning close, her arms wrapped around Naraku’s neck to tie a knot, the door opened and Inuyasha walked in. “How in the hell are we supposed to wear a sh…” he trailed off as he took in the scene before him. “Shit, Kagome, I never thought you’d be such a giant whore. Really, making them wait in line for their turn? Dirty bitch.”

Kagome’s eyes widened at his words and Naraku’s arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her in place as she struggled to get her hands on her mouthy and soon to be dead ex-boyfriend.

The hanyou smirked at her position. “Sorry to interrupt the party, guys. I’ll bet my girlfriend can figure this out for me.” He shot Kagome one last triumphant look before leaving and closing the door behind him.

“Fuck,” Naraku muttered in pain as he released the little miko who’d just given him a swift knee to the balls.

“Shoulda let me go, you ass,” she replied before returning to her toga work, finding the task much easier with her breathing mannequin folded over in pain. He wasn’t nearly as tall that way.



I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being kinda mental,
But you left me in such a state.
But now I'm gonna do what you did to me,
I'm gonna reciprocate.



It was driving Kikyo absolutely insane. Inuyasha had dumped Kagome more than two weeks ago and he was still obsessing over her! What in the hell was the matter with him? He’d chosen her, said he wanted only her, so why was he so hung up on that little bitch? And why couldn’t Kagome stay the fuck away from her boyfriend? It was like every time the hanyou turned around, there was his ex with someone else, like she was trying to make him jealous, like she wanted him back. Well, she couldn’t have him back, damn it, and Kikyo was going to make sure the whore knew it!

Kagome was leaning against the edge of the pool table, laughing and talking with several guys, and once again every time her voice caught his furry little ears, Inuyasha was looking over to see what was going on.

“Do you regret it, Inuyasha?” Kikyo asked him, dragging his focus back to her where it belonged.

“Huh? Regret what?”

“Choosing me over her. Do you wish she was still your girlfriend?”

“No, Babe, of course not,” Inuyasha tried to convince her, failing miserably when his head whipped to the side again to see why Kagome was laughing this time.

“You’re full of shit. You know she’s doing this on purpose. She’s trying to make you go crawling back to her.”

“Huh? What’d you say, Kag… Kikyo?” he stammered, wincing at the look on her face. Shit was about to hit the fan.


Kagome was caught entirely off guard when Kikyo launched her entire body at the unsuspecting miko, slamming her back flat on the pool table top and sending balls flying.

“You sneaky little bitch! You can’t have him and you need to stop screwing with his head!” she screeched while trying to rip Kagome’s hair out by the roots.

In seconds the guys were dragging Kikyo off of Kagome, kicking and screaming and refusing to let go of the fistfuls of hair she held. Kagome cried out in pain as a clump of hair let loose and she reared back, punching Kikyo pull force in the face.

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about! I don’t want him. You’re welcome to him and all the shit that goes with him.” She smirked at the struggling girl being held back by several very strong males, watching the blood drip from her now split lip. “So, tell me, does he still have that issue, you know, where he finishes a little too early? Like before you even get your pants off?”

So you thought this was gonna be easy,
Well, you're out of luck.
Yeah, let's rewind, let's turn back time to when you couldn't get it up,
You know what it should've ended there,
That's when I should've shown you the door.
As if that weren't enough to deal with,
You became premature.

Laughter broke out as Inuyasha shoved his way through the crowd, looking from Kikyo to Kagome and back.

“Oh, here he is. Maybe he’ll answer, since you don’t seem to feel so chatty now. So, Inu, does your little dick still go off before you’re ready to pull the trigger? Or does it not wanna work at all? I should have dumped your ass then, when you couldn’t get it up. She,” Kagome tilted her head towards Kikyo, who was still struggling and shrieking like a drowning cat, “seems to think that I’m trying to get you back.

“Let me make something very clear. I wouldn’t take you back if you begged, not even if you cried. We’re through forever so you can stop following me and watching me every time I go out or on a date. Honestly, it’s pathetic. You’ve got a girlfriend. You wanted her enough to cheat on me. Is she not good enough now?”

Inuyasha didn’t know what to say as he still looked from one girl to the other and back. He knew he’d made a mistake but now it was abundantly clear it was a mistake that could not be undone. With that in mind, he rushed to Kikyo’s side and took hold of one of her arms.

“Come on, Babe, let’s go get you some ice for your face.”

Kikyo gave him a confused look for a moment before trying to smirk, wincing as the pain doubled. “He’s mine, Bitch. Remember it,” she said, her words slurred by her injury.

“I’ll never forget it. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me… Bitch.”


Sesshoumaru had never been so turned on in his entire life. Seeing Kagome defend herself was incredibly arousing and hearing her declare for all to hear that she harbored no residual feelings for the half-breed was just what he’d been waiting for. Her obvious strength turned him on and finally it was time. She was ready, completely over her breakup and no longer on the rebound. Now he could pursue her and make her his.

He walked over to where she stood trying to collect herself while rubbing absently at the sore spot on her scalp where a small patch of hair was missing. Her back was to him and he couldn’t resist, slipping his arms around her waist and startling her for a moment.

“Shhh, there is no reason for your nervousness,” her purred in her ear in a low, seductive tone. “This Sesshoumaru intends you no harm.”

“Sess… Sesshoumaru?” she stammered in confusion.

“That is my name, yes. It sounds delightful coming from your lips. I shall enjoy making you scream it for me.”

Kagome scoffed. “You must be drunk, Sesshoumaru.”

“This Sesshoumaru is stone sober, I can assure you.”

“What are you thinking?” she asked. “I dated your brother.”

“Half-brother, and he never deserved you. If only this Sesshoumaru had gotten to you first.”

Kagome turned in his arms to look at him. “You’re not kidding, are you,” she stated rather than asked.

“This Sesshoumaru would not kid over something as serious as this. Kagome, will you give me the chance to treat you how you truly deserve to be treated? Will you allow me to love you?”

“L… Love?”

“I understand that you may not harbor such powerful feelings for this Sesshoumaru at this time. It does not change my feelings for you. All I ask is for a chance to show you just how strongly I feel, to see what I have to offer.”

“Don’t mess with me, Sesshoumaru. If you’re saying this just to get in my pants to hurt Inuyasha…”

“Never,” he snarled at her before regaining control of his emotions. “I have waited a very long time for you to be available. Then I had to wait for you to be ready once more for a relationship. It is not what’s in your pants that I am interested in, it is you.” He watched the course of her thoughts through her eyes, relieved when happiness entered them. Sesshoumaru leaned down slightly, moving slowly to give her time to stop him if she so chose, and pressed his lips tentatively to hers.

Kagome kissed him back eagerly and finally the taiyoukai’s shoulders relaxed. She did not reject him. She would give him a chance to prove himself. She would be his.


He didn’t expect it to happen this fast, hadn’t thought to even try to get her into his bed for at least a week, but there they were making their way up the stairs. The going was rather slow since they hadn’t paused for a second in their passionate kisses and roaming hands, but they were both determined to make it there!

Finally Sesshoumaru got impatient and firmly grabbed her ass, lifting her off her feet entirely. Her legs wrapped around his hips and for a moment he was tempted to give up and take her right there on the stairs, but after a moment’s consideration he decided the bed would be much more appropriate for what he intended.

It was difficult to remove a hand from her ass to open his door, but the privacy was worth the momentary sacrifice and he carried her inside, quickly closing the door and pressing her back against it. He smirked at her and clicked the lock into place before she pulled his lips back to hers by his hair.

The couple relocated to the bed, shedding clothes, well, togas, along the way until only undergarments remained. When Kagome reached lower, Sesshoumaru stopped her. “Wait. Are you sure this is what you want? I do not want you to think that sex is all this Sesshoumaru is after.”

The little miko smiled brightly. “I know what I’m doing and this is what I want. I won’t regret it in the morning, I promise.”

“Good,” he purred in her ear before tracing the rounded shell with his tongue. “I was unsure I could stop now anyway.”

When her hands moved lower again, this time he did nothing to stop her as she wrapped one small hand around his hard length through his boxers. Her eyes widened and Kagome pulled his erection free, studying it closely before bursting out in hysterical laughter.

Sesshoumaru frowned. She was laughing… at his dick. What in the fuck was so funny? Anger and worries of inadequacy warred in his mind and finally he had to ask. “Kagome? Why are you laughing?”

Tears were streaming down her face when she looked at him again, immediately sobering enough to try and get a hold of herself. “I’m… I’m sorry, Sesshoumaru. I’m not laughing at you, I promise!” When he just stared at her, Kagome realized that a more thorough explanation was required. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I’ve never… I’ve never seen one in person, besides Inuyasha’s.”

He gave her a deadpan stare. “And?” Surely she wasn’t saying that his bastard hanyou half-brother’s dick was bigger than his own!

“When I said that his dick was little, I was just talking. But… god, compared to this he’s tiny!” Kagome lost the battle with her laughter once more and Sesshoumaru even chuckled with her, relieved that she didn’t find him inadequate.

“Just how small?” the taiyoukai asked, seeking clarification. “This Sesshoumaru is above average in size, so a comparison may not be fair.”

Kagome held up her fingers, demonstrating an embarrassingly small size. “You might be especially big, but he still has to be incredibly little,” she said with a giggle.

You're not big, you're not clever,
No, you ain't a big brother
Not big what so ever.

“My poor, poor little brother,” Sesshoumaru said teasingly before redirecting her attention, kissing her senseless. He’d been waiting a very long time for this.


The next morning, the sullen silence of Inuyasha’s breakfast was interrupted as a giggling Kagome descended the stairs, followed closely by a surprisingly playful Sesshoumaru. The taiyoukai couldn’t keep his hands off her and didn’t bother to try, especially not with their particular audience.

“Aww, come the fuck on, Kagome! My brother? Kouga and Miroku weren’t bad enough? You went and fucked Sesshoumaru?”

Kagome shot Inuyasha a glare. “Let me correct you on a few points, Inu. I didn’t do anything with Miroku but watch a movie. Kouga certainly didn’t get any from me. And your brother was fucking exquisite. It was the best night of my life. Oh, and one more thing. I’m sorry about before, when I said you had a little dick. I learned an important lesson last night. Your dick isn’t little at all.”

You're not big, you're not clever,
No, you ain't a big brother
Not big what so ever

Inuyasha looked at her suspiciously, unsure of just where she was going with this, and rightly so.

Kagome smiled sweetly as she continued. “Your dick is pathetically tiny. Trust me, age is not the only way Sesshoumaru is your big brother.”

The hanyou didn’t know what to say, staring blankly at his ex as she laughed with his older, and apparently bigger, brother as they grabbed breakfast before heading back up the stairs. Kagome was right. He definitely regretted it, just as she’d promised.


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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