Crack by Kai

crack

A/N: Crack. That's exactly what this is about. Its complete and total crack. Do not, I repeat, do not take this story seriously. Its anything but serious. And its something that I know will never ever happen. But once more, its crack. So read, enjoy, and review.

****

Kagome sat by the river, her water bottles in hand as she began to fill them one by one. The day was nice and quiet, the sun was shinning and it was just beautiful outside.

"Bweeeeeeeee!" Rustle rustle rustle.

The teenage miko stopped. Did she just hear someone run by? She turned slowly, looking around, finding no one there. Shrugging, she continued to fill the second water bottle. After all, there were four and she needed to fill all of them up.

Rustle, rustle, rustle.

Kagome turned quickly once more, trying to see if she could find the source of the sound. "Probably a rabbet." She muttered going for the third container.

Rustle, Rustle.

"Whose there!" Kagome yelled spinning around this time. A streak of silver ran by, confusing the young miko. "Inuyasha?" She called. "Is that you? Come out! This isn't funny!"

Rustle, rustle.

"Lady Kagome?" Rin asked as she came out of the bushes. The small girl looked a mixture of confused, worried and embarrassed. "Have you seen..."

That's when Kagome saw it. The white streak ran by again. This time she got a good look of it, causing her whole face to turn bright red. It was Sesshomaru. He was grinning like a five year old, his arms thrown up in the air like he was having fun, but worst of all, he was running around naked. Completely and totally naked. It was so odd... so weird... that Kagome was sure that she was still asleep. Because there was no way in the seven hells that Sesshomaru, daiyoukai to the west, the ice prince, was running around naked, and acting like a two year old while going... dare she say it? Bwee.

"Rin... please tell me I'm seeing wrong." Kagome muttered in shock.

Rin blushed and looked down. "Rin found these mushrooms and wasn't sure if they were good or not, so she gave them to Master Jaken. Well... Master Jaken said he had never seen them before so she gave them to Lord Sesshomaru. And sense Lord Sesshomaru is immune to any poisons and he had never seen them before either, he tasted them to make sure they weren't bad so Rin could eat it. It was so odd lady Kagome. His eyes went big to the point that Rin couldn't really see his golden eyes and he just kind of fell for a moment. When Rin went over to see if he was alright, Lord Sesshomaru began to... giggle. Then he stripped himself of his clothes, claimed he was going miko hunting and ran off. Rin figured sense you were a miko, Rin should find you first."

The girl paled at the small girl's explanation. The only thing she could think of was that Sesshomaru ate shrooms. This meant that he was high. Actually high off his youkai ass. And if he said he was miko hunting... that meant that Kagome should be running by now.

Instead, Kagome froze like a deer when his eyes caught sight of her. "I found me's a miko!" Sesshomaru exclaimed. He even went as far as to point a finger at her.

Kagome bolted then. Like a rabbit found by the wolves, she bolted in hopes that she could save herself. She turned to look behind her only to stop in shock as Sesshomaru tripped, actually tripped over a branch. Jaw dropped, she stared at him in shock.

"Stupid tree..." Sesshomaru muttered as he stumbled to get up. "Stupid fast miko. When did they get so fast..."

Kagome just couldn't help but to walk over to the daiyoukai, trying to make sure everything was alright. "Sesshomaru... are you okay?" She asked him.

He reached out to try and grab her only to miss. "Cursed miko. Stop being so fast! Now come here like a good bitch so I can pleasure you and hear you scream."

Her face turned ten shades of red as she turned and began to walk away. "Note to self... never feed Inuyasha shrooms either."

**

His head hurt. It hurt like hell. He slowly woke up and looked around, confused to why he was laying on the forest floor, naked. His mind was so fuzzy from everything that happened that he couldn't recall anything.

"Are you in your right mind again Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked as she walked up to him.

Sesshomaru blinked his golden eyes to look at the young miko. "Miko, you will tell this Sesshomaru why he is wearing nothing and explain what you mean by my right mind."

Kagome snickered. She probably was the first person ever to have blackmail on the daiyoukai. And oh was she going to savor this.

End