By the River of Shadowed Moments by Quirkyslayer

Chapter One

AN: This is an alternate reality setting that weaves in and out of the canon universe. In this reality, Sesshoumaru's arm remains intact.

Thanks goes to my new beta, Dragoninu. This is the newly revised version of Chapter One.

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By the River of Shadowed Moments

Chapter One

It was another river like any other. At least, that's what Kagome thought. The day was rather like any other day too, and it seemed that even the Gods took amusement in these constant interludes. It had to be sunny, and the wind just had to be the right kind to cool off warm sweaty skin. The river always was clear, as if it was supposed to be romantic or something.

Kagome huffed. 'Like HE would ever think such a setting merited romance.'

She didn't even think her confidante ever thought of romance. Although, some of the ways he touched her led her to think, for a couple of moments anyway, that he might.

He was never late, but she was sure that she was a bit early today. It was about her usual time to bathe, and the others knew it. Sango also knew that she liked to bathe at least a few times by herself. Kagome took that opportunity to align those instances with their plans.

"Good. You're here." His cold voice stung her like a random paper cut, but the eloquent way the words rolled off his tongue, strangely enough, momentarily soothed her like her music teacher's flawless aria.

Kagome slowly swung around and gave him a placid look. "Where else would I be?" she responded with equally cold, prickly inflections.

He stared at her severely, yet unwavering from her tone.

'He just doesn't care,' she thought. 'This is business for him. Every month. No matter what I say or how I say it, he's just going to stare at me like some kind of monthly task without a care for how I feel.'

Looking at him in his glory, his beauty, a part of her wished that he could be happier to see her. Since that first time and each subsequent time, she felt closer to him, yet she assumed he felt nothing for her. Maybe it was the stupid human side of her, but when a person was inside you, over and over again, you automatically felt bonded ...somehow.

She sometimes would convince herself that this was some kind of forbidden romantic escapade that they met like this every month because they loved each other, and they knew that if anyone found out about their tryst, it would be frowned upon. The danger, the taboo, was so exhilarating for her. However, the reality of it was not that dramatic. The reality was....

"You know what you need to do."

He started to remove his clothes. His armor fell to the ground with a big thump, massing in a delicate pile. As he peeled off layers of material, she felt her cheeks burning.

'Gees, Kagome,' she thought, chastising herself, 'this is like the tenth time and you're still blushing when he gets naked? Shame on you!'

She just couldn't help it. He was gorgeous, more gorgeous than Inuyasha, regardless of the fact they were siblings. His muscles were not so bulging, but they were present, defined, glowing with his luminous pale skin that was etched with the tiny purple slashes of his heritage in specific places. His hair, silver and seemingly born of heaven, was never a mess, and instead of submitting to the wrath of the wind, the opposite seemed to be true.

And that ever-convenient breeze was there to remind her of his large erection, staring her in the face and pulsating because of his monthly "heat".

His monthly "heat" had been her problem, and well, his too. Of course, she knew that this was biologically impossible. No male creature could experience a heat such as a female, and when she inquired about it, bravely, his annoyance and deterrence seemed to suggest that it was quite personal and mystical in origin.

Still, unnatural or not, it was still a problem to him, and it seemed to cripple him mentally, and maybe even physically if he did not quickly treat "his problem" accordingly.

It was in that dilemma formed the contract between them.

It had happened almost a year ago now, and Inuyasha knew nothing of it. It must have been a mischievous bit of fate that brought her and Sesshoumaru into this unlikely alliance. Suffering from his "heat" one month, he abandoned Jaken and Rin to find some female demon to mate with temporarily until his "unnatural" desires had been dutifully expelled. Thus allowing him to go on with his calm, collected life like it never happened. But the one time he could not find any appropriate demon within a forty-mile radius of his senses was the one time that the only females he could sense were human. And that one time, the closest one just happened to be Kagome.

She knew Sesshoumaru hated humans, and for the life of her she could never understood why he chose her. He could have just raped some woman and moved on. But ever since their first time, she had realized that he wasn't that sort of person. He was too noble and decent to rape someone, a fact that she had never known. She had assumed that since he was such a ruthless killer, the way he treated women was the same way.

It was untrue.

Unbeknownst to her, he was actually intrigued with her when he came upon her in the forest that fateful day. With a mixture of lust, familiarity, and precognition, he wanted her, and since their respective groups were always in the same region looking for Naraku's whereabouts, she could be of use to him. Of course he didn't care about her, but it was rather that he knew her, and to take her would surely enrage his brother. In addition, his problem of trying to scramble and find some demon female would be solved. Although, of course, he had some scruples. He would never force her against her will.

So instead, he bribed her.

"I will promise to never attempt to kill Inuyasha or take Tetsusaiga again if you do this for me," he had said.

"For how long?" she had asked, stupefied at the request.

She thought that if she refused, he would kill her. She had to do this out of fear and for Inuyasha. He could kill Inuyasha or her at anytime; maybe this was something that she could do besides be an awkward miko-wannabe, though she felt a little dirty agreeing to such a thing.

"I don't know," he said, with a voice of uncertainty. She hated it. Everything was ALWAYS so uncertain with him.

His stern voice brought her out of her daze.

"What is the delay, Kagome?"

He used her first name so informally, and it was another thing she sort of hated him for. He felt it was allotted to him by default, and, to be honest, she was thankful he was not calling her 'girl' or 'miko' anymore. A nice 'Kagome-san' would have been sufficient especially when he still insisted she address him as 'Sesshoumaru-sama.'

"Nothing, Sesshoumaru-sama," she chirped, and began the agonizing part of her bargain by stripping herself of her uniform.

It plopped listlessly to the ground.

She looked away from him, not wanting to look into his eyes. Little did she know that he hated it when she did not look him in the eyes, but he did not bother to reprimand her for it. He often felt that if he told her to look into his eyes it would make this thing too personal, and it was probably in both their favor not to.

'But why am I disturbed by this?' he pondered, as she lowed herself to the ground, the stream her focus as she spread her legs to him. Her pink flower mottled with delicate black curls stared at him. He felt his blood begin to boil from the fever to take her. Her legs shivered, as they often did, of nervousness and of cold, and once again he would strip more innocence from her, as he had done these last ten months, bit by bit.

Yet shockingly to himself, he felt that each of their encounters lessened his magical heat, and made him crave her more. He had no idea what he was feeling, and he was not eager to find a label for the emotions this human female caused him.

Sometimes when he was traveling with Rin, he would be reminded of Kagome, and if Rin did something bad, he couldn't yell at her. He didn't have the care because all he could think about the rest of the day was Kagome. Month by month he became impatient for his "heat" to come, eager to see her before their time. Of course, he pushed these desires aside. He felt it was dangerous to explore those thoughts any further.

His breathing was becoming heavier, and he came closer to her, looming over her body like steady beast. She maintained a placid gaze at the stream, and he wondered what she could possibly be thinking of. He bent down to kiss her neck softly, and he almost knew her reaction on cue, her eyes shut tightly, and she sucked in her breath. She exhaled slowly as he traced kisses and licks on her body. Goosebumps erupted on her body as his hands traced over her form, stroking her soft skin and squeezing at any fleshy grooves. His hands traveled between her legs, pulling at her inner thighs, and tracing underneath her flaps. His fingers had slid over the wetness forming between her lips, and rubbed at the bundle of nerves that centered above them. She moaned on instinct, her eyelashes fluttering over her eyes, and her body beginning to squirm under his touch. His clawed finger entered her womanhood carefully, sliding on the juices forming from the reaction of her body. Her legs shivered again and moved beneath him.

He removed his finger from her, grabbing her thighs and hoisting them above his as their lower bodies converged together. He glided into her, inhaling as he felt her tight walls constrict around him, blanketing him in her feminine warmth.

This was it. This was the part he craved from her month after month. After she squeaked in animalistic delight when he was inside her, he encountered another thing he craved from her: her sounds, her smells, her wet, shiny body shivering around him, wrapping around him like a hot sword before it was shaped and molded. He looked at her face watching it contort in ecstasy from him, and he began to release those feelings he had imprisoned. Before he could stop those unbridled emotions, he said something he had struggled to prevent himself from saying.

"Look at me, Kagome," he said in between rough, wild pants.

She was jarred from her trance by the plea in his voice. So moved was she by the tone of his voice that she started to let herself feel him. Slowly she turned her head to meet his impatient gaze, holding back her startled gasp as she looked up at his face. Harbored there was an expression she had never seen before. His eyes were soft, not red with fury like they had always been before when he took her. This time, she didn't have to look away as golden pools of clarity stared down at her as if mystified. His cheeks were shaded a soft pink, and his expression was just as curious and confused as hers.

He continued to pound into her, grunting like a beast but keeping his gaze locked with hers. They stared at each other's expressions with wonder, as they experienced the other's touch and heard the other's sounds as if for the first time.

As they looked at each other, the moment began to become timeless to them, some sort of force strengthening their weak, invisible bond. Together they both felt the change, yet both were uncertain whether or not to pursue it further. It was only now that they felt the most bonded then they ever been during the last ten months.

"Sesshoumaru," she sighed, letting it slip without the honorific.

He bent closer to her, his shadow blocking the sunlight from her. Curious, she looked at him, noticing his serene expression and feeling his body heat from their close proximity. She gave him a smile of adoration in response to this change that now swirled between them. He wasn't prepared for the jolt of electricity that flooded every synapse of his nervous system.

That smile was for him.

'What's going on?' he thought, still inside her, and then seeing her smile, looking into her eyes, and feeling her like this began to overwhelm him. He had known that looking at her would create something amazing between them. He had feared even doing it, but it became so irresistible to him, something he had never done before.

Kagome started moaning louder, closing her eyes once in a while at the deep feelings, and then opening them quickly to maintain a fix on his own curious gaze. She could tell by the way his face contorted that he was confused, that looking at her in the eyes had prompted some weird emotions in him. Feeling this close to him now, it was strange for both of them indeed.

"Kagome..."

When he finally said her name with such affection, her senses soared. Why did hearing him say her name seem so right? Why did it seem like she should be hearing him say it like that more often?

She bravely reached up her hands to his face and cupped his jaw. He was slightly taken aback by the gesture, but she maintained her smile amidst some erotic grunts.

As her hand touched him so lovingly, he felt a mass of pressure build up at the tip of him. The zenith of ecstasy felt so different now than previous times as she held his face in her delicate, fragile hands. He felt so adored, so special to her with such a gesture, and he felt his juices erratically pushing at his gates.

He studied her features, ingraining them into his brain. She was constantly licking her lips as they dried, the liquids being deterred to her lower body. The moist drops glistened over them, and he licked his own in desire. In a sudden sweeping motion, he bent down and captured her lips with his, another thing he had never done before. Such a gesture would have been too intimate, and again, he had been afraid of something so personal.

But that didn't matter anymore. He actually desired experiencing everything personal with her. He was addicted to it, this feeling that made him crave another with such madness. He didn't know what had prompted his rebellion from his fears, but he was grateful that it had happened, and he didn't care where the consequences from these intimate gestures would lie. He cared not for the future. The only thing on his mind now was Kagome, and he delighted in thinking with such freedom.

He scooped her up in a hasty embrace, squeezing her body so close to him he could feel her heartbeat thumping through her fragile form. She was such a delicate creature, and a weird random thought fluttered across his mind that he could snap her neck at any time.

But no, he couldn't imagine the months without her. He didn't deny it anymore. He delighted in the anticipation of seeing her. He was even more aware now that he didn't want Kagome to open her legs to anyone else but him. Not even to his brother.

As their lips locked together, their tongues danced with unfamiliarity at first. But as they came to know each other, they fed desperately off each other's wetness.

She was dumbfounded that it had turned out this way. Her fantasy of a forbidden romance with Sesshoumaru was coming true. When she had thought that he wouldn't do something like smile or feel romance, he surprised her and did just that.

He was holding her so possessively, as if he would never let her go. What was tomorrow going to be like for them after what had happened today? And when would this waltz end? By now, on previous encounters, his unnatural heat would be over.

But he was delaying his fulfillment to hold her. He was staying inside her to maintain their closeness. It was as if he was fulfilled right now and would be lost if she was removed from him.

He dispelled a grunt fiercer than the others, and she felt his warmth pool into her. He didn't pull out right away, and he kept on holding her, kissing her and looking at her.

She didn't mind this closeness, and strangely enough, she could have stayed like this with him for eternity. However, if her "bath" took too long, the others would become suspicious and might come looking for her. If they saw her with Sesshoumaru, things would get kind of messy. When an image of an angry Inuyasha fighting with an angry Sesshoumaru flashed through her mind, her sense of reason quickly returned to her.

"Um...Sesshoumaru-sama..."

The attached honorific made him snap out of his romantic daze. He gave her a strange look, and quickly regained his composure. He slid out from inside her, and moved back slightly. Their bodies were still touching, and he was not ready to lose contact with her yet.

"Are... you...satisfied?"

He wanted to laugh out loud at that question. She said it so innocently, but so true to reason. It was time for their tryst to be over, and she had to be done and clean of his scent from the river before her friends began looking for her.

He nodded warily, and she slowly moved away from him. He stared at her strangely, realizing how cold he felt without her touching him in some way.

She went over to her bag and picked out a bottle, running quickly into the stream. She cried out when her body hit the cold water, shivering as she poured the soapy substance from the bottle over her, scrubbing herself furiously with it.

He stared at her as if in a trance. Slowly, yet not too awkwardly, he began dressing himself. When he was finished, he stood there, staring at Kagome still in the stream.

Normally, he would have just left her without saying a word, but this time was different. Now, he felt something for her, and leaving without saying goodbye did not seem right to him.

"Kagome..." he said, and she looked over at him. She was surprised that he was still here with her.

"Um... yes?" Her cheeks flushed despite the freezing cold river water surrounding her.

He couldn't find the right words. Hell, he didn't know the right words, but he knew he needed to tell her something. She looked at him with expectant brown eyes. He sensed fear, not from possibly being killed, but from the uncertainty of his next words.

He couldn't think of anything to say at this moment. All he knew was that he wanted to feel her again, and he didn't want to wait a month.

"Meet me by another river in a week, same time," he said coldly, but her eyes widened at his comment nonetheless. "I will find you."

Why did he want to see her so soon? Kagome felt confused, and worried about where today's events would take them. Was this a consequence of their sudden step up to intimacy?

'Is it still just sex or is it something more now?' she mused, and couldn't stop herself from thinking. She wanted to ask him the reasoning for this new development, but decided against it. In the end, she figured he was just as confused as she was.

"Um...all right, if you want," she said amiably. He nodded at her. She couldn't help lock gazes with him again and stare into his golden eyes. His eyes looked so sad, and he seemed to exude more loneliness than she had ever seen him show before.

"Until then..." he said ethereally, then turned on his heel and finally left her. He walked away without looking back. It was amazing, but the great Sesshoumaru was actually somewhat afraid to look back. If Kagome saw his face now, she'd see that the last thing he wanted to do was leave her.

And it was all because they had shared a few moments of intimacy.

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Kagome had scrubbed herself clean of Sesshoumaru's scent, and her fingers looked like prunes from soaking too long in the water. She had actually drifted off to sleep against a rock in the river when Sango finally had to come and get her.

She was thankful she at least had an alibi for being so late from her bath. Inuyasha had given her a few rowdy yells when they returned, and then went on his merry way into tree to sleep for the night.

Kagome rested in her sleeping bag, mulling over the day's events in her head. Strangely enough, she was beginning to miss Sesshoumaru, and never before had she felt that way after one of their meetings. Usually, she was lethargic, almost exhausted because he normally rammed into her so roughly, tossing her around like a sack of potatoes and leaving her when he was "done."

She knew this time was different from before, her cheeks becoming flushed and her inner thighs moist as she remembered the looks he gave her and the way her name rolled so beautifully off his tongue. She remembered how his silver hair fell over her and how soft his kisses had been.

Things were definitely different now, and she was starting to be glad he upped their next meeting to just a week.

To see him, to touch him again, she need only wait a week. However, when she began to think of it more, this measly week seemed to stretch itself outward, teasing her loins and making her senses wait for what was more perceived as an eternity.

TBC...