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Life Out There by Serena

Life Out There

A.N.: InuYasha and the song Is There Life Out There not in any way mine, if they were I would be chillin' in Tahiti.

 

 

Life Out There

She married when she was twenty

She thought she was ready

Now she's not so sure

She thought she'd done some living

But now she's just wonderin'

What she's living for

Now she's feeling that there's something more

 

            A young woman of 25 sat in front of an open window facing her backyard watching her son run around with their family dog. Her raven hair blew around her beautifully sad face as her five year old son let out a loud bark of laughter, his short hair matched her own. He smiled brightly as he waved at her before hopping on the swing set placed in the shade while the dog tried to nip playfully at his swinging legs. She jumped when a pair of thin arms wrapped around her small waist.

            "Did you have a good day Kagome?" A soft voice questioned as puffs of air hit the back of Kagome's neck.

            Kagome turned around to meet her husband's embrace with one of her own. His light brown hair hung innocently in front of his equally brown eyes.

            "Welcome home Hojo." Kagome smiled up at her husband of five years, not bothering to answer his question.

            Hojo didn't notice that his beautiful wife never seemed to answer that particular question. She would always smile up at him, Hojo believed that to be a good enough answer, even if it wasn't the truth. He couldn't see that his wife was unhappy because he refused to believe that he wasn't able to make her happy. He had given her a life that she couldn't have ever achieved on her own, her grades wouldn't have gotten her into any college anywhere and what other man would marry a woman who had been so sick for so long. In truth Hojo had been the only boy Kagome had ever gone out with throughout her high school years. Her frequent absences made it hard for her to meet any other boys and Hojo was the only one Kagome trusted not to become angered by her frequent disappearing acts.

Is there life out there

So much she hasn't done

Is there life beyond her family and her home

She's done what she should, should she do what she dares

She doesn't want to leave

She's just wonderin' is there life out there

            "Dinner should be ready soon." Kagome stated, trying not to turn away from her husband's kiss.

            "I'll go get Kai." Hojo smiled down at his wife, once again not seeing the distance she held between them; in his mind nothing separated him and the mother of his child.

            Hojo didn't know that Kagome could hold a part of herself back even when they were in the middle of the most intimate of acts. But she had done so, he had just never known. How could someone miss something that they had never known existed in the first place? There would always be a part of Kagome that Hojo would never know of because it was lost in the river of time, stranded far into the past where a mismatched group of three humans, two demons, and one half-demon fought against all odds to save the world and dispel the evil born of one man's greed.

She's always lived for tomorrow

She's never learned how to live for today

She's dyin' to try something foolish

Do something crazy

Or just get away

Something for herself for a change

            Kagome sat on her back porch the next day and wondered where she had gone. She had once been a vibrant girl who could do nothing but look forward to a life full of children with long silver hair and puppy ears, a girl who looked forward to the day Naraku would be gone and her and her family could move on with life as they were supposed to. Happiness had once come so easily to her, yet her once sought after future disappeared before her very eyes and she was forced back to a time were she could no longer fit in, where people seemed so fake and misguided.

            She had always told herself that she wouldn't be one of those people who simply survived life; she would never allow herself to simply be content. No she was going to love her life, but reality and fate put an end to all her childhood plans. Somewhere along the way she had lost the person she had once been and was meant to grow up to be.

Is there life out there

So much she hasn't done

Is there life beyond her family and her home

She's done what she should, should she do what she dares

She doesn't want to leave

She's just wonderin' is there life out there

            "Mommy look." Kai called as he swung from the monkey bars.

            Kagome smiled and clapped as her son tried to make his way across the playground obstacle. She noticed one small hand slip from the bar he was grasping with all his might and was up in a flash. Kagome caught her son just as his other hand slipped and he went plummeting to the ground.

            "You're so fast Mommy." Kai grinned up at his favorite person in the world.

            "Don't you worry kid, I'll always be there when you need me most." Kagome's heart grasped desperately onto the only thing that gave her true happiness in her modern-day life, she would protect him from all that she could, she would make sure he grew up to live a wonderful life like she had once believed she would live.

            Kagome ruffled Kai's hair before setting him on the ground and returning to her spot on the wooden bench next to the sandbox.

There's a place in the sun that she's never been

Where life is fair and time is a friend

Would she do it the same as she did back then

She looks out the window and wonders again

 

            Kagome once again sat in front of an open window, now facing the old oak tree in her front yard. She thought back to her final moments in the past and her wish and wondered pointlessly if it was the right one to make. The past could never be changed, the wish had been made and she returned to the time she was born into, her life here was basically ruined; she had nothing but her family and friends going for her. It just wasn't enough to give her the life she had dreamed about.

            Perhaps her life would have been better if she had only ignored her responsibilities and lived her life here, not returning to the past after her first return home. Kagome quickly tossed that train of thought away, she still held onto the belief that her life in the past could possibly make her life better in the future.

            A flash of green brought Kagome's attention back to her front yard. There, in the shade of her tree stood a tall, broad shouldered shadow. Kagome ran out the front door without even bothering to put her shoes on. Her knee-length light blue sundress whipped around her legs as a gust of wind tore through the branches of the oak tree behind the couple.

            Gold met blue in a scene Kagome remembered from her past. She could only gasp as the shadow moved into the rays of the mid-afternoon sun. The man wore black slacks, a white silk shirt, and designer shoes.

            "Sesshomaru." Kagome's whisper floated on the wind.

            "Priestess." Sesshomaru countered.

            Kagome's eyes watered at the long forgotten title as she tucked a single strand of hair behind one dainty ear. She could only blink as the demon in front of her extended a hand towards her. Kagome blinked in confusion only to shine with pure joy moments later. He was offering her a way out.

Is there life out there

So much she hasn't done

Is there life beyond her family and her home

She's done what she should, should she do what she dares

She doesn't want to leave

She's just wonderin' is there life out there

            Kagome glanced between Sesshomaru's out-stretched hand and her house. In her mind she could see the smiling face of her son.

            "You will never be far away." Sesshomaru stated in a bored fashion.

            Kagome responded by walking past Sesshomaru to the trunk of the tree behind him. She easily slipped off her wedding band and placed it in a nook covered by a batch of leaves. Kagome turned back the demon patiently waiting for her to let go and extended her hand towards his person. He wrapped her cool hand with his own warm one and pulled her closer to his body. With another flash of green the two were gone.

            "Kagome we're back." Hojo called from the front door.

            He looked around in confusion when his wife didn't answer. Kai quickly removed his shoes and ran off to locate his mother while his father placed both their shoes in their rightful places.

            "Papa, Mommy's not here." Kai called from upstairs.

            Hojo walked into the kitchen to see if she had left a note for them. He searched the house from top to bottom but found nothing. Hours later he called the police and filed a missing persons report. There was no trace left of his wife and after a year of searching they all gave up. Hojo remarried Eri two years later in hope of giving his son a motherly figure, but no amount of time could erase the promise Kagome had given Kai, a mother like her just didn't brake a promise to her son.

One Year Later

            Kai, now nine years old, was walking home from school just like any other day, wishing he had somewhere else to go besides the house now filled with the wailing of his new-born twin sisters. He often wondered how his father could have possibly moved on to someone like his step-mom after having someone like his mom. Now Kai liked his step-mom and all but she was way too bossy and she always tried too hard to make him like her. She was sloppy where Kagome had been neat and tidy, Kagome had always known what to do to make things better, half the time Eri only messed things up more. There was no comparison in Kai's mind; no one could out shine his mother in all the ways that counted. Not to mention it was almost like Eri was trying to remove all traces of his mother left in the house, she had had the whole house repainted, all the paintings his mom had so carefully chosen were thrown out, every dish was donated or given away and new ones were bought, but Kai had put his foot down when she even began to consider destroying his mom's herb garden. She had tended that garden with all the loving care possible; he could just barely remember her beginning to teach him all the names and uses. It was the only way he could recall her sweet scent. Every time he stepped into her garden Kai could remember the feel of her strong arms wrapping around him and the smell of mixed herbs filling his nose.

            His focus returned to the present when he bumped into something hard and fell flat on his back.

            "Watch where you're goin' ya god damned brat." A voice growled from somewhere above him.

            Kai open his eyes only to see three big guys around 14 glaring down at him. The biggest of the bunch squatted down in front of him before grabbing Kai by the collar of his shirt.

            "What, ain't ya gonna apologize to me?" The bully demanded.

            "S...sorry." Kai stated fearfully.

            "I don't think ya mean it. So we're just gonna have to beat some manners into ya." The group smiled viciously while the one holding him pulled back his free arm.

            Kai closed his eyes and waited for the impact of a fist when a demanding voice rang out through the alley Kai used as a shortcut. Kai opened his eyes to see the fist hanging inches from his nose.

            "I would highly suggest you drop him." The voice called out again, Kai could swear he'd heard it somewhere before.

            "What's it to ya lady?" The guy holding him questioned.

            "Do you really think you could hurt me and get away with it? The cop around the corner might be interested in hearing about the activities you three are indulging in." The voice, definitely female challenged.

            Not two seconds later Kai found himself back on his back on the ground listening to the retreating footsteps of his tormenters.

            "You alright?" The voice asked him, Kai could smell a sweet aroma that reminded him of his mother.

            "Yeah, I'm fine." Kai looked up to see a tall slender woman kneeling in the shadows next to him.

            "I'm glad." The woman stood before offering her hand out to help Kai up.

            "Thanks." Kai looked down to see if he had any dirt on his clothes, knowing that if he did Eri would ask a million questions.

            Kai looked up to thank the woman again and got a good look at the face of his savior. He hadn't seen that face in anything but pictures in four years.

            "Mom." Kai's whisper slipped out before he could stop it.

            "Hello Kai." Kagome smiled down at her son.

            "Oh, Mom, I thought you were gone. Why'd you leave me, what did I do wrong? Please Mom..." Kagome cut off Kai's questions by pulling him into her strong embrace.

            "Kai I'm so sorry I left you, but you have to understand I was losing myself. I wasn't where I was meant to be." Kagome tried to explain her reasons to her son.

            "You promised you'd always be there!" Kai tried to remove himself from his mother's arms.

            "But I've never left you, I've always been near you, watching you. How else could I know about that winning homerun you scored last month or that you stood up to Eri to save my garden. I've never been far from you Kai, I've been there for everything." Kagome only held Kai tighter.

            At hearing her recite his accomplishments Kai stopped struggling and held onto his mother just as tight.

            "Then where'd you go?" Kai asked through his tears.

            "I went home Kai." Kagome pushed Kai back so she could look into his eyes.

            "So you really saw all that." Kai asked shyly with a grin Kagome would know anywhere; all she had to do was look in the mirror.

            "And I have never been so proud. Now come on before your father sends out a search party to look for you." Kagome took Kai's hand and they turned towards his house.

            Kagome paused at the beginning of the driveway, Kai looked up at her oddly.

            "This is as far as I go kid." Kagome smiled down at her son.

            "Will I ever see you again?" Kai questioned softly.

            "I'll be there whenever you need me, but how about we leave your father and Eri out of the loop? It'll be our little secret. And someday you'll meet my husband and your little brother." Kagome winked down at Kai.

            "As long as he doesn't scream all the time." Kai wrinkled his nose remembering what awaited him in the house.

            "Oh Kai, how I miss my darling boy." Kagome laughed sadly before drawing Kai into one more hug.

            "Why can't I go with you Mom?" Kai wondered.

            "'Cause kid who else would be left to protect my garden and make sure your dad isn't completely controlled by Eri. That man is so soft. Always has been you know." Kagome grinned at her son before pushing him up the driveway.

            Kai walked a ways then looked back at his mother who was giving the 'go on' motion with her hand. Kai sent her one last smile before running up the porch steps and through the front door.

9 Years Later

            Kai grinned as he crossed the stage to receive his diploma stating that he had completed high school. He looked up to see he father, stepmom, and sisters waving at him. He waved back then shook his principle's hand before wrapping his hand around the paper that gave him a vision of freedom till he went to college in the fall.

            A couple of hours later Kai stood outside waiting while his parents went to find the bathrooms so his four year old sister could go before getting in the car to suffer through an hour of traffic to get out of the parking lot of the high school auditorium.

            "Kai I'm so proud of you." A voice called out from behind him.

            "Mom." Kai turned and lifted his mom up into his arms and spun her in a circle.

            "Kai." Kagome laughed loudly as a tall man and two kids with silver hair walked up behind her.

            "Sesshomaru." Kai nodded to his stepfather with one arm still wrapped around his mother's waist.

            Kai grinned down at his half brother and sister before returning his gaze to his mom's shining face. It had taken a while for Kai to understand why his mother had left but after meeting his stepfather and his half brother he realized his mom was right. She hadn't belonged with his father, she was only truly happy in the arms of his demon stepfather.

            He had gotten a long explanation from his mother on that one. It turned out all those stories about a strange group of mismatched heroes fighting to slay an evil half demon were true. Sesshomaru treated his mom well and accepted him easily into their developing family. His mom still hadn't aged a day since she disappeared and he never expected her to, she would far outlive him, as would her whole family.

            "So big brother, are you all packed for our trip?" Aya, Kagome and Sesshomaru's daughter looked up at him in question.

            "You bet. I can't wait to feel that cool Hawaiian breeze and see those hot Hawaiian chicks." Kai turned to grin at his younger brother.

            Kagome rolled her eyes before smacking both her sons upside their heads.

            "Kai!" Kai heard Eri calling for him, as did the rest of his family.

            "See you soon kid. Oh and before I forget again, in the trunk of the oak tree in your front yard there's a nook about eye level covered by leaves. Reach inside and you'll find something I want you to give the woman who finally hooks ya, God rest her poor soul. Whether she's a Hawaiian chick or homegrown. Got it?" Kagome stood on her toes to kiss Kai on the forehead before disappearing along with her husband after seeing him give her a strange look and a nod to show her he would retrieve her rings for his future wife.

            "KAI!!" Eri called again.

            "Over here!" Kai rolled his eyes and waved his arm so Eri and his father could find him.

5 Years Later

            "Hey Honey who's the woman in this picture, I didn't see her at the wedding?" Rei, Kai's wife of two weeks, called from her place at their kitchen table where she was putting together their wedding album.

            "Who?" Kai asked, coming up behind her and resting his arms on the back of her chair.

            "Her." Rei pointed to a picture of Kai standing with his arm wrapped around the waist of a tall, beautiful woman with long raven hair and sparkling blue eyes.

            "That, my love, is my mother." Kai kissed Rei lightly on her cheek.

            "Your mother? But she disappeared years ago, besides she's way too young to be your mother she must only be like 24 at the most." Rei looked up at her husband strangely.

            " Naw, she's 25." Kai kissed Rei again before walking out of the room with his wife still calling out to him.

2 Years Later

            Rei wondered around the park in front of her house trying unsuccessfully to make the hyper child inside her stomach calm down a little before she crushed some vital organ.

            "Come on little one, please give me a little break." Rei pleaded with her unborn child.

            Rei gasped as a strong pain shot through her and water dribbled down her legs. Her baby was coming and all Rei could do was stand in the middle of an empty park in shock. Minutes later another pain ran through her body and she felt her legs give out. But she never felt the impact of the hard ground, only two strong arms wrapping securely underneath her arms.

            "Kids, always coming around at the most inopportune moments." A soft, comforting voice whispered in Rei's ear.

            Rei looked up to see the woman from the picture Kai had never explained, the woman he claimed was his mother.

            "Don't worry, I'll take you to the hospital okay. My husband's getting the car right now, all you have to do is lean on me." The woman smiled lovingly down at her.

            Rei could only nod as another shockwave of pain hit her, but the woman only took on the rest of her weight and began to move her towards the waiting car. Rei couldn't remember the car ride, only the woman's soft voice soothing her, talking her through her pains.

            The next thing she knew, Rei was in a birthing room with Kai on one side holding her hand and the woman on the other smiling down at her. Hours later her daughter lay sleeping in Rei's arms as she looked up at her husband who could only stare back at her with so much love it brought tears to her eyes.

            "What do you want to name her?" Rei asked her husband softly.

            "Kagome." Kai looked up at the woman Rei had forgotten was even in the room.

            The woman gave Kai a sun-filled smile before looking down at Rei with pride shining clearly in her bright blue eyes.

            "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Rei." The woman said softly.

            "Thanks for today, but who are you exactly, and why were you at my wedding?" Rei stared at the woman expectantly.

            "You haven't told her?" The woman looked up at Kai.

            Kai shrugged his shoulders in an 'I tried' way.

                        "My name's Kagome, I'm that boy's mother." Kagome jerked her thumb in Kai's direction.

            "That's not possible." Rei stated.

            "You'll find there are many things in this life that seem impossible but really aren't if the circumstances are right." Kagome softly stroked her granddaughter's cheek.

            "You really think you're his mother." Rei looked between her husband and Kagome.

            "Sesshomaru." Kagome called quietly moments before a tall man with silver hair glided through the doorway.

            He nodded at Kai before turning to Rei and dropping the spell that hid his markings and pointed ears from view.

            "You heard any myths about demons recently Rei..."

69 Years Later

            An old man lay comfortably on a small bed in a hospital in Tokyo. To his left a woman his age sat on a cushioned chair knitting quietly while to his right a woman who looked about 26 stood holding his large wrinkled hand in her small smooth one.

            "Don't you worry kid, I'll take good care of your bunch of brats and their bunch of brats and so on." The young woman smiled down at the old man.

            "You know who they get it from don't ya Mom?" The old man said in between wheezes.

            "Lord knows it's not from your father, to that man causing trouble was not putting your shoes in the right spot." Kagome rolled her eyes at her memories of the long dead Hojo.

            Kai let out a soft chuckle that was fallowed by a coughing fit. Kagome lifted him off the bed and hit him on the back several times till the fit passed. Kagome placed her son softly back on the bed and fought the tears she knew were gathering in her eyes, her boy didn't have much more time left in him.

            "I've always hated it when you cry Mom, so don't start now." Kai looked up at his mother with the same loving and trusting eyes that he had 90 years ago.

            Kagome took a deep breath and turned her eyes to once again focus on her first child.

            "Kagome." A deep voice called from the doorway.

            Kagome turned to look at Sesshomaru, he was telling her it was time. She turned to look at her son as her husband once again patiently waited for her to let go.

            "I love you so much baby." Kagome reached out and pulled Kai into her tight embrace for the last time.

            "I love you too Mom." Kai held Kagome to him as tightly as his old body would allow.

            They both let go slowly and Kagome placed a single kiss on his wrinkled brow before turning around to see her husband's hand once again extended towards her, waiting for her to take it. She stepped closer to him and away from her baby.

            "He'll never be far away." Sesshomaru stated softly, for her ears only.

            With that Kagome took one last lingering look at Kai and took her husband's hand just as she had all those years ago and walked out the door and away from her dying child. There was no way for her to hold him to this world any longer.

Is there life out there

So much she hasn't done

Is there life beyond her family and her home

She's done what she should, should she do what she dares

She doesn't want to leave

She's just wonderin' is there life out there  

A.N.: Hope you liked. Please R&R.!

 

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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