Sneaking a Peek by SunsetMiko

Self-Actualization

Chapter 87 - Self-Actualization

This was written for Stella's word Prompt Game, Prompt: Bastille. Words: 758

Kagome led Inuyasha back inside where Sesshoumaru was doing everything in his power to maintain control. His beast was clawing at the mental barriers that kept him locked in his mind. The hanyou's words, calling his desired mate a whore, was going too far and he wanted to eviscerate his brother. He knew, however, that Kagome desired to deal with him her own way. He'd been pleased to hear her slap the fool, but now she was bandaging his hand as if nothing had occurred at all.

The taiyoukai controlled his breathing, completely focused inward. If he allowed his beast to escape from the prison in his mind, all hell would break loose and the miko would never be able to forgive him. She loved the hanyou he wanted to tear apart. He was her best friend, even though he hadn't been acting like it lately, and if the beast killed him, any hope of making Kagome his mate would be banished forever.

"Inuyasha, this is the last time I'm going to fight with you about this. You promised me you'd stay out of our relationship. That means every aspect of it, including the physical. I'm a big girl and if I want to have sex, I will. If I want to do other things, I will," she said while doing her best not to glance at Miroku, who she knew was listening like a hawk with a grin on his face. She didn't have to see him to know. She could just feel it.

"But I'm trying to protect you!"

"From what?" Kagome asked in exasperation.

Inuyasha opened his mouth only to close it again. He thought for a moment and then repeated the action, looking rather like a fish out of water. What was he protecting her from? Sesshoumaru loved her. He desired to make the miko his mate! Why was he fighting so hard to keep them apart when he knew this? The hanyou sighed.

"I don't fucking know anymore."

He really didn't. Sesshoumaru was good for her. She was happy and she deserved to be happy. His elder half-brother could protect her. He could provide for her. He wasn't pushing her into things before she was ready. Instead, he was going out of his way to move as slowly as possible to make sure not to rush her. He loved Kagome, had known it for quite some time, but he hadn't told her yet in the hopes of not overwhelming her.

Sesshoumaru was doing everything right, so why was he butting in where he wasn't needed? Why was he upsetting his best friend? What was he trying to do? He didn't want to keep them apart, not really. It was just habit, trying to protect her from everything, and that included men. Men were dangerous. Men took advantage and broke hearts indiscriminately. He knew that because he'd broken her heart in the past without meaning too, without even thinking about it. She didn't deserve that kind of pain again, but Sesshoumaru wasn't going to cause it.

The hanyou sighed again and nodded firmly. "I'm going to stay out of it from now on. I just wish you'd talk to me sometimes. I feel like you replaced me with him."

"Oh, Inuyasha!" the miko exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her best friend's neck. "I didn't replace you! No one could replace you! You're my best friend. It's just, sometimes, when a relationship is new, it takes over everything. I didn't mean to make you feel ignored and left out. I love you."

Sesshoumaru's heart ached and he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. She could say those words to Inuyasha. Why, when he knew she felt it because of her drunken confession, had she not told him? He ached to hear those words from her lips and hearing it said to another male was painful, a pain the likes of which he'd never before experienced. He felt rejected, though that feeling slipped away as Kagome rose and headed in his direction with a smile on her face.

The miko stopped directly in front of Sesshoumaru and went up on her toes, one hand clinging to the top of his chest plate, to press her lips to his.

"Thank you for not killing him," she whispered. She knew just how hard it had to have been to hold back his anger and she appreciated it. She didn't know what she would do without Inuyasha, even if he was annoying more often than not.