Lingering by MissTeak

Lingering

I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. They belong to Takahashi Rumiko.

A/N: I just felt like doing this one shot, so after writing two chapters for Wisteria, I decided to type this one out. It is rather different from my usual works, since I usually focus more on Kagome and her thoughts mainly in my stories, and this one is more of Sesshoumaru and his feelings. I hope you guys like this one!

Title: Lingering

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey dearest...how have you been?"

He asked gently, his tender words leaving his lips in a whisper.

She smiled back adoringly at him, her eyes as kind as they had always been. He ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek, before shifting his body to face her more directly.

"It has been such a long time...I'm glad you're still smiling for me."

Returning the tender smile which she always graced him with, Sesshoumaru pressed his lips gently to her face. She did not move away from him, and it made him smile.

"I'm sorry for leaving you all alone all these years...you know that right? If only I had an alternative choice...I am glad I had your forgiveness."

He did not have to ask; he knew she would never blame him, even if he did her greatest injustices on earth. She was that sweet, that lovely and that understanding. It pained him to know that she forgave him for the injustice he did her.

It was ironical that he was destined to meet this lovely woman in front of him - she was so beautiful, so kind and exuded this glowing aura that only made her stand out from everyone else in his world. Sesshoumaru was never a particularly religious person, but in one of the very rare occasions in his life, he thanked God for sending him this lovely angel.

She salvaged his soul. She taught a monster how to love.

Prior to meeting her, he was like an unbridled stallion. Life was generally going in the 'live fast, die young' direction - he was hot-tempered, rash, arrogant and never knew when to take no for an answer. Everyone who was civil to him were not being nice to him out of choice, no, they were nice to him out of fear. The loneliness that he originally felt manifested itself in his life like a vile disease, and the greater the pretence from those around him, the worse the loneliness became.

His friends, if one could even consider them as such, had girlfriends. Sesshoumaru, naturally, was no exception. He started having girlfriends too, but oddly enough, it felt more like a social ritual which he was performing, like something he had to have because he had to have it. Unfortunately, they never lasted. One by one the girls around him were replaced, and while Sesshoumaru never saw what was so impressive about losing girlfriends, it earned him titles like "lady-killer", "Don Juan" and so on. The admiration from the other males made him continue with this lifestyle, even though he did not enjoy it. It was perhaps his way of filling up the lonely void.

It wasn't as if those girls were not nice. On the contrary, there were a few of them who were lovely. It was just that he did not know how to love them in return. He hurt them with his scathing words, lack of tact and insensitivity. He caused them to leave in tears.

But after having met her, he found himself a changed man. Suddenly, words of love and tenderness seemed never to be enough. He wanted to whisper all the sweet nothings he could think of to her, and tell her how much she meant to him.

"You will always be a part of me, Kagome."

"As you will be a part of me, Sesshoumaru."

Her life was the antidote to the disease that was eating at him from the insides; it infiltrated the darkness in him like beams of sunrays, dispelled the unhappiness and left behind meaning and purpose in life.

A young, spirited social worker, she had met him for the very first time when she was sent to talk to him regarding his inability to control his anger following a fight at the local bar in which he was involved.

She would always talk to him in that manner which he initially found terribly annoying, before time was up and she would leave him with her trademark, "Just don't do it again, alright?"

Anger management was never his sort of thing to do; Sesshoumaru always saw red before anything else. It was only after she stepped into his life, that he started seeing Higurashi Kagome before his eyes whenever anger kicked in and threatened to overtake his senses.

"I am sorry, baby."

He whispered again, running his fingers along her cheeks.

Once again, he saw the kind, forgiving expression in her eyes, which were accompanied by the most beautiful smile in the whole world.

That was the smile he could never, ever forget. Not in this lifetime, and perhaps not the next as well.

It was also the smile he received from her after doing her the greatest injustice.

How could you forget the grace of an angel whom you so cruelly hurt?

It was a huge mistake - a mistake which he could only regret and curse himself for.

He thought she was two-timing him. That guy was hugging his Kagome outside the restaurant. She did not push him away. In fact, she hugged him back protectively.

Every guy would instinctively think that the girlfriend was two-timing him, but almost every other guy might cool down and rationalize before doing anything else.

Unfortunately for Sesshoumaru, he did not fall into the "almost every other guy" category.

Blind rage overtook him, and he could not recall the exact details of what ensued. The only details left in his memory were the hard blow he sent in the direction of the man's face, his bleeding fist and Kagome's cries for him to stop pulling her to the car by the arm.

"Please, Sess, calm down."

Those were the words she chanted like a mantra as he sped down the highway in his car.

He did not really hear them back then; the words entered his ears but left no meaning. Rage was a possessive feeling; it took over the senses and did not allow anything else to enter.

He could vaguely recall her cries for him to get a hold on his emotions, until Kagome released a bloodcurdling scream.

It was then when he saw the large cement mixer truck coming head on from the side of his car, the side on which Kagome was.

A forceful impact marked by the screech of tires, shattering glass, the sick crunching of metal and the dull thud of flesh and bone against whatever hit it...

...that was all he could register.

His mind, clouded with pain and shock, yet blank with the dissipation of the earlier blind rage he felt, could not think straight.

It was then when he saw his angel in agony.

It was never the way he wanted to see her in - someone so beautiful and pristine should never be tainted by so much blood, cuts and suffering.

"Kagome..." The sight of her in so much pain gave him strength that he never knew existed within him. His battered body was lethargic and heavy, but he managed to reach over shakily to cradle her cheek with his hand. "Kagome...hang in there...hang in there...I am sorry, I am so, so sorry..."

She shook her head and smiled sadly.

"I know, I know...Sess...just don't do it again, alright?"

With that, she left.

She didn't even manage to wait till the ambulance arrived.

He subsequently found out that the guy hugging Kagome was her brother, Souta, who was having dinner with her in the restaurant. He did not even know Souta as the boy had been studying abroad in Korea, and had jumped to conclusions before trying to find out the truth.

It came at a high price.

She had everything to live for, and he took it all away. Ironic, isn't it, when the one who had purpose in life was killed and the one who barely had anything to live for was spared. In fact, the only thing he lived for was her, and he lost her.

Now, as he sat at her grave three years after the fateful night, he could only gaze upon her beautiful, forgiving smile in the photo and talk to her as if she had never left him.

"You are always on my mind, darling. You will always linger here in my heart."

He was still thankful to God that he had her, albeit for a much shorter time than he would have liked it to be, but he knew he would be a lot more thankful if the one lying six feet under was him. It should never have been her.

Leaning in to place a soft, lingering kiss to the photo, he ran his thumb over the cool surface of her cheeks again.

"So long, dearest, till we meet again."         

Sesshoumaru carefully rearranged the bouquet of white lilies again, before standing up and walking away.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: That was a sad one! But I just felt like doing it. What do you guys think?