Where Home Is... by Jt

Where Home Is...

Where Home Is...

It has been over hundred years since her decision, that fateful day. I had never felt so defeated by my brother in my life, not because he had everything I had ever wanted. No, that wasn't it, I let go of that a long time ago. I felt defeated, because she choose him, he could never love her the way I love her. The day before the final battle, I told her how I felt and how no one could ever compare to her. "Who is her?" You are probably asking. Kagome is her name, the human that saved the lives of everyone, is now an immortal, thanks to the Shikon No Trama. She is now almost a god if you will, I stood by her side when she fought; I helped her defeat Naraku, with my brother and I at her side, she was invincible. "When did I and the stubborn bastard make peace?" You might ask. Well he and I made peace before the final battle, it made her happy, it made us happy, and it made everyone happy. Well not everyone, obviously not Naraku, because of our peace he was defeated. I guess that's what you get when you piss off both brothers of the Western Lands.

Anyways, we're getting off track, the day she left my world fell a part. Nothing seemed to work to make myself happy again, well, then again, I was usually mad or pretended to be upset. It's in the family I think, my brother's like that as well. No one knew what made me so upset, no one except for her, yet she said nothing to me. She never looked at me or talked to me unless it was necessary, and the only time that was necessary was when a jewel shard was near. I guess the harsh ways I had treated her had an affect on her decision. I, like most people, just thought of her as a "shard detector" but I was a complete idiot to have considered that. Whenever they kissed, held hands or just smiled at each other, it made me want to pull out my sword and slit their throats, especially his. I never did of course; the only way I vented my anger was by destroying many of the trees that would surround our campsite.

The day he put that temporary mark on her, I think I had wiped out most of Japan's trees. He has yet to mark her permanently though; she doesn't seem too upset about it, then again it's been about five hundred years. I suppose she no longer let it get to her. No matter how many people had told me that they were happy, I still had a hard time letting her go. Sango, the one that traveled with us, told me that if I really loved her I would let her be happy. I did let her be happy, I gave her my heart on a silver platter and she just played with it; then gave it back half-missing. I closed my eyes remembering the way she smelled of lavenders and waterfalls, the way she laughed like music that no one could resist and most of all her smile, the one that made the gods jealous.

On my walk down memory lane, it brought me to a street that I never wanted visit again. It was the day; she made her choice about who she loved the most. The day she destroyed my world and made me, fall to my knees. I remember it so clearly, as if it just happened yesterday. It was the night after the battle...

...Flashback...

I smiled as I saw her entering the clearing I was so relieved that she wasn't hurt at all during the battle yesterday afternoon. I held out my arm when she arrived, expecting her to take it, the way she usually did on our nightly walks. I noticed something wrong, her eyes were sad and she did not smile at me the way she usually did. "What's wrong?" I asked her, concern laced my voice. My face was full of worry, maybe she wasn't ok...maybe-I had stopped my thoughts there, 'I didn't smell anything wrong and she looked healthy.' I thought to myself.

She walked about four feet pass me, brushing my arm a side, her back to me and her face to the stars. "I have made my choice," she paused as I held my breathe, "I have chosen him."

My heart dropped to my stomach, I could feel my rage build up inside me. "Why?" asked, I felt betrayed, I felt my chest tighten and my knees weakening. 'No!' I told myself, 'I will not break in front of her.'

"I think that it is better this way," I could smell tears and regret, "you and I can never be anything more then we are now." I shook with anger, every part of me wanted to run to my brother and snap his neck. "I'm sorry; I wish it had been different." She whispered.

"Kagome look at me!" I screamed, she never faced me, "damn it; look at me!" She didn't budge from her spot. "I gave it all to you!" I screamed again. "Why did you do this to me?" I whispered, "why, why, why?" I fell to my knees and stared at her, "tell me what I did!" Still nothing came out of those beautifully dangerous lips. I kneeled there, I could feel my anger rise again; I felt the urge to hurt her, to make her feel what I had felt. "You whore!" I herd myself scream and I saw her flinch, "you are not better then Kikyo was!" I smelled her tears but I didn't stop, "I hope the bastard leaves you and then you will see." She shook with sobs but I kept going, "when that bastard leaves you, don't come to me." With the last comment, I turned and started to leave.

"I'm sorry," I could barely make out the hushed words. "I never meant to hurt you..."

I ignored her and just kept walking to the cliffs, once there I fell on my knees once again. I pounded my fists to the ground and cried, "I'm so stupid!" I screamed in frustration, even now with my heart broken, I still loved her with all of the little pieces. I stood my face blank and unreadable as I look over the edge of the cliff, it looked inviting to me at the time. I shook the thoughts of suicides out my head, 'no; I will not let her get the better of me!'

When I finally came back to camp, everyone was asleep, well except for her. She never slept unless she was sure everyone was safe, she didn't even glance up at me. She stood and walked over to her sleeping bag. Before sleep could claim her, she whispered in a voice only I could hear, "I'm sorry Sesshomaru..."

...End of Flashback...

I sighed, feeling the pain all over again, even now in modern Tokyo. I looked out my kitchen window missing the openness of Japan before all of the modernizing. The only openness I have is the backyard of my mansion, well actually, my father's old estate. My brother had no use for it; after all, they were happy now...

I stood and walked up the staircase in my library, where I held all of my valuables. There in a glass case held Tenssaga, Tokajin, and Tetssaga, I position of all three swords, thanks again to my brother. There in the glass was a portrait of the group, even my daughter Rin. The sound of the doorbell brought me out of my musing, "Who could that be?" I asked a loud; it was a Sunday and I was expecting no one.

It rang again; I rushed to the door not even bothering to smell who it might be. When I opened the door, my heart stopped beating and my breath was still. I bowed trying to be calm, "Kagome-sama."

"Hi..." I cut her off by allowing her to come in; she bowed in return. She took off her shoes as I led her to the kitchen.

"Would you like some tea and cake?" She nodded; I knew she loved tea and cakes. After seeing her and Sango eating it during our travels, I could read her like a book. Like now for instance, she needs to tell me something of importance but was quite anxious about. After setting down the snacks and taking a seat myself. I asked, "what brings you here?"

She cleared her throat, "he and I broke up." Before I could respond she interrupted, "I got tired of waiting for him to mark me as his or at to least marry me." She looked out the window, unconsciously making circles on the rim of her cup; she did that when she was trying to escape the world. "Before you say anything I need to tell you were right and I knew that," she sighed, "I'm not here to beg you but I came here as a friend." I stayed silent, sipping my tea slowly, waiting for her to continue, "would it be ok if I stayed here for a little while; just until I get my own place?"

She held her breath, I felt my blood boil, "how dare you?" she said nothing and kept starring out the window. "I told you long time ago not to come to me when you and he break up." Still nothing, I could tell she was holding back emotion. I took a breath and asked a bit more calmly, "why did you two separate?"

She smiled dryly, "he found her; he found Kikyo." Was all she said and I nodded in understanding, "so naturally he cheated on me." Tears started to race down her face, yet her voice and face, was calm. She wiped her tears away and stared at them, as if she did not know they had fallen from their home.

I closed my eyes; I couldn't say no to her, I owed her many things. I knew that if she stayed that we were likely to avoid each other. "I will let you stay here until you find a place to stay." She and I made eye contact; I saw gratefulness in her eyes. "Do you have your things?" I asked as I started to clear the table.

She look straight in front of her, "I have nothing left." I felt my chest tense, he was crueler then I remembered. "All I have left are two outfits, my pajamas, and the clothes on my back; he took everything else." I realized I had been right about my brother.

"Get your things and I will show you around the house." She nodded and left for her car. 'Surprising he didn't take that,' I thought it over in my head, 'well then again she did put it under her name.' When she returned all she cared was a large purse. I nodded, signaling for her to fallow. I led her to the room closest to the stairs I watched her as she gaped at the size. None of the rooms was as large as they used to be, I had actually turned half of the house to a dojo. After putting her bag down on the bed, we went back down the stairs into the kitchen. "The top shelf of the fridge is yours as well as half of the freezer and right side of the pantry." I showed her where all of them were, "we will be sharing cutlery, plates, and cooking utensils." She nodded in understanding, "do you have a job?" she nodded again, "how is three hundred a month for rent?" she nodded in agreement. She had always done that, when she felt bad she would stay silent and just nod.

She went out, got groceries and filled up her supplies. After finishing, she made a phone call on her cell phone and made the changes to her account and home phone number. She then went to her room, unpacked, and cried herself to sleep. As much as she had hurt me, I couldn't stop loving every bit of her.

The next morning I woke up to the smell of omelets, hotdogs, and rice. After getting dressed, I walked down the stairs, following the dangerously delicious smell. "Is what the bastard wakes up to every morning?" I asked casually, she smiled lightly at me and nodded. After plating the food and setting it down in front of us. We started eating, her cooking ability had always been amazing, but this food was amazing. "I see you're still a very good cook," I complimented slightly, "why did you cook by the way?"

She smiled, "I wanted to thank you for letting me stay and for the compliment." She took another bite of her food and absently added in a whisper, "I'm glad I'm appreciated somewhere."

I stopped mid motion, "you were always appreciated somewhere else." She and I stared at each other in an awkward silence. The sound of my cell phone cut the tense air between us. "I shall be going now," she nodded, "your key is on the stand beside the door." As I left, I couldn't help but wonder why she had chosen him instead of me. The night she made her choice, I could smell regret washing over her body, yet she never gave an explanation.

When I came home that night, I noticed that her car wasn't in the driveway and wondered what time she came home. I looked at my watch and realized that it was ten o'clock at night. After changing clothes, I went to the kitchen and started making dinner. When I started to plate the food I heard the front door open, knowing she was finally home. Looking at the clock, I noticed that it was eleven-thirty already. Upon her entering the kitchen I asked, "is this the time you normally come home from work?"

She shook her head, "normally I come home earlier but my boss wanted me to help with a meeting that would be occurring tomorrow." I nodded in understanding; she then put her things away in her room. When she came back into the kitchen her hair was in loose bun, she wore pink short-shorts, and a black tank top. As she and I started eating I could help but stare at her a little, even in the simplest outfits, she looked amazing.

Even as she sat across from me, simply dressed, I felt plain and bland. I wore a white wife-beater, black shorts, and my long hair in a loose ponytail. We both were plain as fresh paper but she still managed to shine. "Thank you for the dinner by the way." She complimented shyly; I simply nodded. The longer we stayed silent, the larger the gap became, once we finished; we cleaned up and headed straight to bed.

The next morning I woke up again with the smell of breakfast, I wondered at what time she woke up. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and yet she always managed to wake up be for me. When I finally went down stairs, I found everything made, even the coffee. "You don't have to do this every morning." She smiled and nodded.

"I know," she paused as she placed the food on the table, "but I like to do this." She and I sat the same time, she took a minute sip of her coffee; she smiled to herself. "When my Shippo finally mated I lost my little boy," she took a bite of her food, "but on his wedding he told me that one day I would be an amazing mother again." She sighed a little then zoned out again, "I had always hoped that I would be a mother again." Shaking her self a little, gave me a sad smile, "well that I guess is never going to happen now is it?

I looked deep into her eyes, "he was not the only man that has ever loved you." She nodded in under standing and we continued to eat in silence.

That routine stayed the same for the next fallowing month, she would make breakfast and I would make dinner. On Sundays, however, we would do something a little different sometimes breakfast or lunch, since it was our day off. Then one Sunday she had received a call from Inu-Yasha. "Hello Inu-Yasha, how did you know I was here?" I heard her ask nervously over the phone. I heard him say through her work and that he wanted her back. That it was a mistake that he had cheated on her. I could hear Kagome's breathe become unsteady, "yeah, I would love to move back in with you." He said that he was ready to settle down; her heart beat faster. "I'll just make arrangements." With that, she hung up the phone.

"You're an idiot." I said coldly as she started up the stairs. She froze mid step, "he's always cheated on you and apologized, what makes you think it's different this time?"

"Because...because he loves me." I snorted-she snapped. "What do you know Sesshomaru?" she yelled at me.

My blood boiled, "I know a lot about betrayal!" She didn't move, "nor don't you remember Kagome?" I shouted. She ran to her room and slammed the room shut; this time around, I would confront her. I ran after her and broke down the door and through her suitcase on the floor. I grabbed her chin, "this time Kagome you and I are going to talk about it!" Tears started to roll down her face but I didn't care right now. "Why did you choose him?" I asked coldly.

"It was because, it wasn't fair." She whispered. I got angrier and I growled, "it wasn't fair for Inu-Yasha." I stepped back and looked at her, confusion dancing in my eyes. "He lost her and he was about to lose me to you." She looked away from me, "it wasn't fair that everyone was going to live happily ever after but he wasn't." She balled her fits and turning her back to me. "He deserved it so much and he wasn't going to get it!" She yelled in frustration.

"What about you Kagome?" I yelled back, "don't you deserve any happiness?" God, I was pissed off, "what about me, don't I deserve happiness?" I felt every ounce of me getting madder and madder. "You knew that she would be reincarnated," I paused and whispered, "yet you still left me to pick up the pieces."

I could see her shaking, I could smell her tears, I could hear sobs, and I could sense her pain. "I'm sorry Sesshomaru!" she fell on her knees, "I didn't mean to hurt you." She broke into a fit of sobs; I kneed behind her and held her tight. I heard her say in a whisper, "I love you Sesshomaru."

"Then stay with me," she shook her head no, "if you won't then please let me have you one last time." She turned and looked up at me, "all I am asking is one night Kagome." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me with all of her might. "Remember I will always be here if you ever change your mind." She nodded as I lifted her on the bed.

The next morning I woke up to nothing but an empty bed and an empty house. I didn't wake up to the smell of her cooking breakfast, I didn't hear the humming she made in the morning, and I didn't smell her sweet scent. When I looked at the clock, I realized that it was already ten o'clock in the morning. I owned the company I worked for, so I knew that I had no reason to worry. Entering the kitchen, I half expected her to there ready to smile at me. "I never realized how large this house is." I said to myself absently.

Looking over to the table where we ate our meals, I noticed a note sitting on the table. Walking over I picked up the note, it read:

Dear Sesshomaru,

I wish you had been awake when I left but Inu-Yasha called me and told me that he would be picking me up soon. I'm sorry for leaving you with an empty bed but please don't be upset with me. What I had said last night was true and I really wish it had happened differently. Thank you for letting me into your home Sesshomaru you're a true friend.

I'll call you soon and I hope we have dinner sometime!

Love,

Kagome

P.S.

I'll be holding you on your word, that if I ever change my mind you'll be here. So don't move Sesshomaru!

I took a deep breathe in; I don't think I would ever get over her. She was my one and only love, she saved me from myself, opened my eyes to the world around, and no one could ever compare to her. She returned my love; even if it's not the way, I wanted it to be. In my heart though, I know she'll always be mine.

Four months had past since she had left my home; she never actually left my life though. We had dinner, breakfast, lunch and even brunch a couple of times a months. Inu-Yasha never liked, but he had to comply with her wishes. After all, if he had not cheated on her, she and I would have never talked again. Then one day after work, I got a letter from her. It was an invitation to her wedding in two months; I collapsed on my couch and re-read it again. I didn't know whether to feel happy for her or hurt, because it wasn't I. All I knew was I had to be there for her even if it did not make me happy; I would go. After all, I love her...

A month before her wedding I received a call from her asking if I would accompany her for lunch. I complied of course; we were to meet at our favorite restaurant in downtown. "Good afternoon," I bowed and then pulled her chair out for her, "how are the wedding arrangements going?"

She smiled at me and sat, "they're doing ok I suppose." We ordered our usual and started to talk once more. "They're seeing each other again," I stopped mid sip, "I could really careless." She laughed a little, "I know that the only way to stay with him is to let him keep cheating." She took a sip of her tea then had a piece of her cake. "He gave me a week to figure it out for myself," she paused and looked at the people walking past, "I'm almost done my week actually."

"How much time do you have left?" I asked, finally finding my voice.

"I have two more days," she took another sip of her tea, "he said even said that no matter how much he cares for me that in the end he'll end up cheating." She smiled at me, "at least now he's being honest right?"

"What will happen if you don't come up with an answer?" I sipped my tea trying to calm my nervous.

"Well the wedding goes as planned," she shrugged casually, "would you let me again in your arms if I were not to go to him?"

I nodded, "of course I would, and you know you are always welcome in my home Kagome." She smiled at again and nodded. "Are you going to stay with me?"

"Maybe to find my own place again," she shrugged, "depends if I'm going through the wedding or not." After out lunch we went, our separate ways and I hoped she would return to me.

The next day I heard nothing from her about the wedding. Then the day after, I got an email that the wedding had been canceled and that they are sorry for the inconvenience but they have broken up. I half expected her to be at home when I returned but nothing but an empty house. After a week of not hearing a word from her, I didn't expect to see her ever again.

Then one morning I woke up to a familiar smell and a soft humming. I ran down the stairs and found her making me breakfast. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. Wanting to touch her to make sure, I wasn't dreaming. "What took you so long to get back home?" I asked half asleep still.

"Sorry, I was running late at the office." She looked into my eyes and kissed me.

Now here we are, at the altar with her hand in mine. I took my last sip of sake and then the monk blessed us. We were now officially married. "I love you Kagome and don't ever leave me again." I whispered to her lovingly.

"Don't worry Sesshomaru," she whispered back, "I know where my home is now."

The End