What Kagome's Cooking by ToWriteLoveOnAPage

Ew...

Had to use these words:

Fruity

Sludge

Random

Song

Mosey

Scam

Tea

Rose

Shrimp

Pen

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha

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Sludge, Kagome thought petulantly, it looks like sludge...

"What the heck is that supposed to be?" Inuyasha said, peering into the pot with a slightly horrified look on his face.

Kagome glared at him.

"Inuyasha, do not be so tactless, Lady Kagome has worked very hard I'm sure," Miroku said, giving the hanyou a stern look, but staying downwind of the concoction nonetheless.

Sango was the only one brave enough to approach. "It smells...fruity, Kagome-chan," she smiled unconvincingly, trying not to look repulsed.

"It's shrimp," the miko muttered dejectedly, giving her horrible cooking fiasco one last look before sighing. "Don't worry, you guys don't have to eat it,"

Everyone visibly sagged with relief. Even Kirara, who had been found eating rotting animals on more than one occasion, seemed glad to have avoided her cooking.

"Guess I'll go dump this is the bushes..." she started, but upon looking at Inuyasha's flattening ears and distressed expression she was forced to revise her plan. "Or I guess I'll go wash it off in the river."

"FAR down the river," he added, earning himself a nice hard rap on the head with Miroku's staff.

"Feh, it stinks and you know it!" He growled at the monk, rubbing the growing lump on the top of his head. "I sure as hell don't want to smell that shit!"

Miroku immediately started in with lessons of 'good manners' and 'sparing feelings' and 'not being an ass', but Kagome didn't stick around long enough to hear all of it. They'd probably still be at it by the time she got back anyway so, she set off towards the river, her cooking pot and its horrible contents in hand.

I just wanted to make something nice for dinner, it was just supposed to be shrimp and rice! Who the heck messes up shrimp and rice? She grumbled to herself. Oh, that's right, me.

Now they were going to have to have jerky, jerky, more jerky, and a side order of jerky for dinner. God she hated jerky.

She was still seething when she reached the river, so much so that she didn't even notice the strong demonic aura that was suddenly heading her way. Nope, all she could think about was jerky...and the pound of expensive shrimp she was about to dump in the river.

"Bye," she mumbled, getting ready to dunk the pot in the stream. "Don't forget to write."

"Miko."

"GAH!" Kagome yelled, tipping backwards onto her backside and almost dumping the shrimp and rice into her lap. "Sesshoumaru!"

"What is in that pot, wench," he questioned with his usual 'cower before me you lowly peon' attitude.

After picking herself up off the ground and brushing off her skirt, as well as her dignity, she looked up to face the taiyoukai. "Rose petals, can't you tell?" She said, rolling her eyes. She had just about enough of people making fun of her cooking and she definitely wasn't going to take his crap, not today.

Sesshoumaru glared at her. "Do not lie."

"It was supposed to be dinner, okay?" She sighed, wondering why the heck he was even interested and, more importantly, why he was here in the first place. It was all very random for him to show up with no obvious intention of gutting his half-brother. "But I ruined it and now it's trash."

"It smells repulsive," he commented.

"No kidding," she said through gritted teeth, if it weren't for the fact that he could - and probably would - cut her in half, she would have started yelling long ago. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just dump it in the-"

"You will give it to this Sesshoumaru," he interrupted as though she hadn't been speaking at all, holding out his hand and waiting for her to give it over.

"Wha?" The miko said stupidly, gaping at him.

He scowled. "I do not repeat myself."

She gave him a suspicious look. "What do you want it for?" She asked, raising a brow. She pulled the pot behind her back as he attempted to grab it from her, waving a disapproving finger in front of her as he growled.

"Wench," he warned, exposing one of his long, very sharp looking fangs.

"Tell me why you want it and I'll give it over," she said defiantly, taking a step away from the angry inuyoukai as discretely as possible.

For a moment he looked as though he might simply melt her, but then his face grew impassive and bored once again. "A stench as strong as this will mark the border of my territories for months to come," he informed her. "It shall save me the trouble of marking it monthly."

"Y-you mean...you acutally mark your territory?" She asked, a little dumbfounded. Sure he was a dog youkai, but she never really thought he would do...that.

He simply glared at her.

"Well, if you want it, you can have it," she mumbled, handing over the pot. He eyed the contents and then looked back to her.

"You will make more for this Sesshoumaru," he told her. 

"Wait, you want me to make more?" She said distastefully. "No way! There's about twenty bucks worth of shrimp in there! Not to mention I can't just mosey on over to the feudal era grocery store and pick up more just because you need to mark your territory."

Sesshoumaru wasn't quite sure what a grocery store was, but he figured it was not worth his attention. "I am to understand that you would require compensation?"

Kagome gave him another look. "What do you mean 'compensation'?" She asked. This all sounded a bit fishy to her, like he was scamming her into being his personal scented goo maker.

"What do you want in return for continuing to procure this substance?" He growled impatiently, obviously not taking no for an answer when she had refused to make him more.

Kagome huffed. I have to think up something that he wouldn't possibly agree to give, she thought, then he'll just leave me alone...or threaten to kill me...but hopefully he'll just leave me alone.

"Well, miko?" He drawled.

The priestess cleared her throat. "I want tea in every flavor and variety that has ever been brewed. I want a ruby the size of my eye, a quiver with silver arrows, an apple pie...you need a pen to write this all down, 'cause there's more," she asked him as his jaw clenched tighter and tighter. "Okay, moving on then...I want a song written about my eyes and a white horse with golden hooves and lastly, I want a kiss from the most handsome man on earth."

Kagome finished with a satisfied smirk, noting that the demon was now turning a delicate shade of purple in his aggravation. Without a word, the youkai turned on his heal and disappeared into the forest.

"Well, that takes care of that," Kagome smiled, and she headed back to camp with a skip in her step.

***

"Kagome. Kagome, wake up!" She heard Sango say urgently as she shook her awake. "You have a...er...visitor."

"What?" She said sleepily. "It's not even dawn yet!"

"I am afraid he is unwilling to wait," she said with a strange edge to her voice.

Kagome mumbled and grumbled, but stood up nonetheless. "Okay, now who the heck is calling at this ungodly hour!"

"Miko."

"Sesshoumaru!" She nearly screamed as her eyes found him in the dark light of the early morning.

"There, Kagome's up, now are ya gonna tell us what the hell you want, you bastard?" Inuyasha said gruffly, his sword drawn and ready.

"I have come to fulfill our bargain," he said simply, turning and walking off towards the river where they had met the day before. 

Kagome looked at the others and shrugged, pulling on her shoes and following after him. Her friends followed close behind.

When Kagome rounded the bend she nearly gasped. There, on the banks of the stream she had met the demon lord only hours before, was a very strange sight indeed. There were kettle upon kettle of steaming, fragrant tea, the steam curling from their spouts in entrancing swirls. A beautiful white horse with hooves that had been painted in the finest gold stood a few yards over, munching happily on some grass. And on the ground a leather quiver with a dozen shining, silver arrows, and a hairpin inlaid with the biggest ruby she had ever seen, were laying side by side. Lastly Sesshoumaru handed her a scroll with what she assumed a song about her eyes had been written upon and...a loaf of bread with an apple speared to it? 

Well, she supposed he had no idea what an apple pie was, but she gave him points for trying.

"S-Sesshoumaru, you actually-"

But Kagome couldn't finish her question because at that moment her mouth was being pressed firmly to the cold, demon lord's. Except right then he didn't seem so cold...in fact, he made her feel quite warm.

Hmmmm, very warm, her mind supplied.

After a few, blissful, confusing seconds he pulled away, looking down at the miko with an intense look on his face. "A kiss from the earth's most handsome man," he explained. "I believe our deal is fulfilled.

Kagome just stared at him in shock, as did her friends, before finally regaining her wits. "But you're not a man," she pointed out playfully. "So, I think you'll have to give me two kisses."

He looked down at her and smirked. "Agreed."