What you are to me by Sesshoumaru's Lady
Crawling back to you
I do not own Inuyasha. The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. I also do not own this song "Crawling back to you" by the Backstreet Boys. I know, I know the BSB... but this is a very touching song from the point of view from a guy who messed up bad and is now trying to make it right.
Chapter 1 - Crawling back to you
Song 1 of 5
Sesshoumaru sat in his parked car, looking out the drivers side window at the house of the woman who he loved, Kagome. It was almost sunset and his trained eyes saw her silhouette behind the drapes showing that she was making dinner.
He was able to see in his mind coming home from a long day at work to have her working in the kitchen making preparations and two or three pups he would have with her doing their school homework. It was an endearing picture of his family, waiting for him to begin the family dinner.
However, this picture was not where he was in his life. Actually far from it.
They were together for 5 years, but he ended their relationship a month ago due to his arrogant pride.
He had felt that with his status as the Western daiyoukai and her status of being the Shikon Miko that they would not be accepted in his demon society.
He thought of how he handled the breakup, which brought a feeling of sadness to his normally stoic being. He starting rubbing his chest due to a pain that occured when he thought of Kagome and the loss of her due to his stupidity.
He remembered the look she gave him when he told her why they can no longer be together. The look was that of heartbreak, sadness and tears when he told her that it was not going to work out between them and that she needed to move out of their condo and move on with her life.
Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you
Baby, I was wrong
Yeah I know I said that we'd be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart, I didn't mean to break your heart
But baby, here I am
Now looking back on the past, he realized the biggest mistake that he made was letting her go. And now he needed to rectify that. It no longer mattered if the demon society, his mother or anyone for that matter didn't accept Kagome, she was his only true love and if he was blessed by the kamis above, he would have her for his mate, if she were to find it in her heart to forgive him.
So with a steely resolve, he opened his drivers side door, got out and walked on the sidewalk leading towards her front door. The door that stood between him and his heart, his love, his Kagome.
He made the decision that even if he had to beg, get on his hands and knees that he needed her to take him back.
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you going to let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
He walked in front of her door and knocked twice hoping that she would answer. He hoped that she would give him the chance and listen to his explanations and hope that she will forgive him and they can start their future together.
No Answer.
He knocked again hoping that an appliance in the kitchen, a ringing phone or any type of distraction was the reason for her not answering the door. He waited and waited and still no open door or no voice on the other end asking who it was.
Still No Answer
"Kagome, it's Sesshoumaru. Can I please talk to you? " he said in a loud voice so that there was no mistake that a distraction would cause her not to her him.
Still No Answer
"Please Kagome, I really need to talk to you," he said in a voice that was bordering on desperate. He knew that if he didn't plead his case that she would never take him back.
I know you're in there and you can make me wait
But I'm not gonna wait
It's the place that I can do, just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell
Girl I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad
But baby here I am
As he stood there he remembered when they were together and he got home after working all day and she would have dinner just about done. He remembered the times he would come behind her and wrap his arms around her and kiss her temple, his greeting to her.
He remembered the public outings they would go to and even though she had numerous men staring at her regardless of what she was wearing or where she went, she only had eyes for him.
He felt his heart break as his mind went through the numerous memories of their life together.
‘She's not coming', he said to himself as he took a step back from the door, realizing that he lost his chance at happiness and that he would live his life alone. His felt the crushing pain in his chest, not realizing that his was the feeling of having his heart break in a million pieces.
He slid to his knees as he felt that there was nothing to standing upright with or for. He felt like he was in a nightmare and that he only needed to be woken up by Kagome who was actually laying next him in their bed at the condo.
Realizing that this was not a nightmare, tears starting forming in his eyes and he dropped his head in shame.
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you going to let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
"What do you want Sesshoumaru,? A soft voice answered from the other side of the door.
Sesshoumaru lifted his head while he was still kneeling acknowledging the angelic voice of his love. He realized one thing about her voice with just that small question. She was speaking with sadness due to a broken heart, A heart that he personally crushed with his actions.
"I... I...made a mistake. I never should have let you go.... I miss you and love you and I ask that you forgive me and take me back,", he ended softly but loud enough for her to hear him though the door. He once again dropped his head to the position he had it in previously
"I was a fool to think that I can live without you, I need you Kagome....I... I...", he stuttered and it was hard to see the ground with tears forming in his eyes.
If you could see these tears I'm crying
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking
Hear my heart that's barely beating
You will see a different man
He felt that crushing pain in his chest again. It felt like someone was scooping out his heart with a baby spoon. It hurt. It hurt like hell.
"Please Kagome, give me another chance," he said in a soft voice hoping that she would open the door and see for herself that he was not above being on his hands and knees to beg for her forgiveness. Yes, he acknowledged that she was the one for him and if he had to go to hell and back for her to take him back, he was not above anything to get that second chance that he so desperately needed.
But baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you (come on)
Begging for a second chance
Are you going to let me in? (let me in)
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you
He heard her sniffling on the other side of the door and he continued with his pleads for a second chance.
"I know that I hurt you Kagome, I know that I broke your heart and that is all on me. I was too proud and stupid to realize that I had a wonderful woman who stuck by me through all the good and bad," he said with conviction and knew that he wasn't done yet.
" I had a woman who always looks at the good in people even when they don't deserve it and always manages to take care of those around her," he said again with a voice realizing that it was now or never.
"She was and is my light in the dark, my sole purpose for breathing and the reason I get up everyday and thank the kamis that they allowed you in my life," he said.
He didn't realize after the continued silence that it was already dark, however it still didn't deter him from continuing.
"I know that you have no reason to take me back after what I put you through, however I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and I promise you that if you decide to give me another chance, that I will spend my entire life making sure that you don't regret it." he said with his whole heart even though it still felt like it was being crushed.
"Please koi, please forgive me and give me another chance. I love you so very much, please koi," he said in hopes that she was still on other side of the door.
Still no answer.
"Please....," he said softly
Banging on your front door (darling)
My pride spilled on the floor
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you, yeah
Now I'm crawling back to you
crawling back to you
crawling back to you
crawling back to you
Still no answer.
At this point, he was debating if he should stay in this position or if he should head back to his car.
It seemed like hours passed and yet he stayed in the same position, kneeling on her front porch with his head down.
Just when he though all was lost, he heard a sound...
Click....silence....Click...of a lock.
He wanted it to be real and not a fabrication in his mind.. So he remained in that position so that he wouldn't get his hopes up, then he heard the sweetest thing that he ever heard in his life.
"Sesshoumaru, would you like to come in,? He slowly lifted his head up to see her standing in her doorway of her front porch looking down on him in the position he was in.
'She is so beautiful,' he said to himself looking up at her with love and adoration and also hope that this was real.
Then when he thought that it must be all in his imagination she did something that he had seen too many times in the past but didn't appreciate it until now. She gave him her wonderful smile that was just for him.
"Come on, it's getting dark and I'm not sure about you but I'm starving, would you like to eat dinner with me." she looked at him with a soft smile that she always gave to just him, no one else.
It was then that he slowly stood, gave her a bow and started walking toward her. As he was at the threshold, he gave a quick glance around her house and it was when she talked to him that he turned to her and looked in her beautiful brown eyes.
"You know Sesshoumaru, you're lucky that I forgave you when I did," she said with a soft smile and a bit of a chuckle as she closed the front door.
"Oh really and why is that Koi? " he lovingly looked down to her hoping that this was not all a dream and that he was truly standing with his love, his future mate and bride.
She answered with a laugh in her voice and her eyes full of love that she still held for him. " Because the timed sprinklers for the front lawn were set to go off just about... now,".
The End of Chapter 1
a/n: Hopefully this comes out okay.